2:59 PM
Kaminari: do you guys think I should drop out of school and join a jpop group?
Jiro: can you even speak japanese?
Kaminari: what do you think we're typing?
Jiro: I stand by my original comment
Kirishima: bro kpop guys are hotter
Kaminari: I can't change my ethnicity
Sato: Aoyama did, considering he's not actually french
Aoyama: He's never seen my birth certificate
Sero: bro i love you but you don't put your ethnicity on your birth certificate, you'd have to do 23 and me
Tokoyami: that's how we found out Dark Shadow's part Pennsylvania Dutch
Kaminari: can he make me one of those outdoor fire places
Tokoyami: he charges commission
Mina: sometimes I genuinely can't tell when you're joking about him(?)
Tokoyami: only goths and my bf get to understand my complex sense of humor
Jiro: fuck yeah dude
Sero: gcbisexuals how do you know if you're bi, or just experimenting
Jiro: well the attraction to the same gender is typically a hint
Sero: okay well let me give you a scenario, so say I'm in a conversation with Best Jeanist and he leans in and tries to kiss me. I pull away, obviously, but say he's persistent, and aggressively grabs my face in order to let us kiss a little. I don't think I would push him away right away, maybe I'd let him get a few pecks in. No tongue, of course, but I mean, I don't know. Does this mean I'm bi?
Kirishima: let me get this straight you would resist a kiss from the second hottest dude on earth? Seems bi to me
Yaoyorozu: Sero, you don't need to label yourself it's perfectly fine to be questioning
Uraraka: Yaoyorozu is right! Take Eijiro for example, he knew he was bi, but was always more in favor of liking guys, but now we're in a very happy relationship. Just go with the flow and life finds a way
Ojiro: not to be that guy, but are you very happy? Kirishima just said best jeanist was the second hottest guy on earth and I have to wonder who the first hottest is.
Ojiro: could it possibly be a classmate of ours?
Sero: it's definitely me
Kaminari: it's definitely me
Sero: jinx man! You owe me a soda
Hagakure: I think he was talking about Ojiro!
Mina: oh, sweety, he wasn't
Midoriya: it is obvious he was talking about Todoroki!
Todoroki: he was?
Midoriya: of course! There is no one else with such unique and startling features. Obviously Kirishima is a fan of colored hair, so it would make sense for him to find you handsome
Todoroki: I thought he was talking about you?
Midoriya: why would you think that?
Bakugo: no one finds deku's looks appealing, it's a face not even a mother could love
Todoroki: well, contrary to what Bakugo believes, I think Kirishima would find Midoriya attractive because of his ambition and strong leadership qualities, he's a good ally to have
Kaminari: doesn't make him hot. Me, however, I'm smoking
Jiro: do you smoke when you electrocute yourself?
Kaminari: no
Sero: yes
Uraraka: Bakugo smokes when he releases his explosions!
Ojiro: odd, Uraraka, that you would mention Bakugo, does that mean you find him attractive?
Uraraka: doesn't everyone?
Kirishima: ^ Ochako gets me
Jiro: to answer Uraraka, I'm going to say no I do not find Bakugo attractive
Sero: I may be in a questioning stage, but the answer to that question is negative
Hagakure: I pretty much only find Ojiro attractive
Ojiro: same
Sato: mood but if you replace ojiro with flan
Tsu: I'm into women
Ojiro: WAIT I MEANT SAME BUT LIKE WITH TOORU
Hagakure: too late, I'm over you
Hagakure: but I still don't find Bakugo attractive
Iida: Dear Classmates, I believe the best way to do this would be everyone who finds Bakugou unattractive to state it. As a heterosexual male I am not attracted to Bakugou. But to be fair to Bakugo, I am also not attracted to any men. I hope this helps ease your anger at my words. Sincerely, Iida Tenya
Shoji: i have a bf so like nooo
Sato: Koda does not find bakugo attractive
Bakugo: all right extras fuck each and every one of you. I know I'm hot, I don't need anyone saying that they find me attractive because I could not give a single fuck about any of your opinions
Kaminari: sure, you say that now but wait until it's awards season, then you'll care about my opinion
Jiro: you got every guess wrong for the oscars pool
Kirishima: He just writes All Might for every category
Kaminari: It's not my fault he has movie star good looks
Bakugo: well at least we know pikachu's gay
Kaminari: If it's gay to respect another man's good looks then I am as gay as they come
Bakugo: it is and you are
Aoyama: Je suis supreme happy to see Kaminari being outed in this way! As he is my competition
Midoriya: as the other person outed by Kacchan, I would like to offer you an invitation to my support group, Kaminari
Kaminari: guys,, you do realize I'm not gay right?
Mina: Kaminari it's okay, we're all your friends here you can tell us the truth
Bakugo: we're not friends
Kaminari: I'm not gay
Jiro: homophobe
Kaminari: I have nothing against gay people I am just not one of them
Kirishima: that's fine,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, so you're bisexual right?
Tsu: maybe he's pansexual I could see that
Sero: wait, is pansexual like what Sato is?
Midoriya: I don't believe so
Sato: being pansexual has nothing to do with food despite the word pan in the title
Mina: isn't pansexual when you like people regardless of gender like it's not really a factor?
Uraraka: I think so! tbh that seems like kaminari to me
Kaminari: I like women
Ojiro: and sero, and shinsou and possibly midoriya?
Todoroki: WHAT?
Ojiro: I know right, Shinsou gives me the creeps
Shoji: he did say that he knew deku's mom would be hot because he's hot so if that's not attraction I don't know what is
Midoriya: Kamichan I am flattered you feel this way, but I unfortunately like someone else right now and I don't want to lead you on
Mina: Oh? You like someone Midoriya,, who is it?
Hagakure: yes Midoriya, tell us who you like?
Sero: can we get back to Kaminari, I don't like it when the two of you gang up on someone least of all Midoriya
Mina: we can always come back to Kaminari later, he has thinking to do and Midoriya has finally become interesting
Midoriya: wait, finally?
Jiro: Maybe we could try guessing and if anyone is with him they can tell us whether or not he blushes?
Iida: Dear Classmates, I am currently with Midoriya, however I do not feel comfortable in this act of exposing my friend. I hope you all understand, Sincerely, Iida Tenya
Tsu: I'm also with him, and I have no such reservations
Kaminari: Is it me?
Sero: he already said it wasn't
Kaminari: you can never be too sure
Mina: IS IT URARAKA?
Bakugo: he's gay, pink idiot
Mina: Right, okay uhm is it Bakugo?
Tsu: he is blushing but I don't think it is
Bakugo: his mom told me he had a crush on me when we were kids, fucking idiot deku, I'm glad I broke your heart
Midoriya: MY MOTHER TOLD YOU?
Bakugo: she tells me everything, like how you made her buy you all might valentines day cards for your second grade class, but no one gave you any back
Kirishima: weren't you in his second grade class?
Bakugo: so? I only gave one, to me.
Aoyama: eh? Are you also autosexual like moi?
Mina: can you really still claim autosexuality considering the whole will they won't they sero thing
Aoyama: Oui,
Sato: I find it's best to not engage
Kaminari: Was it Mineta?
Jiro: who?
Midoriya: not that i'm encouraging this but… ew
Uraraka: I know who it is. I will tell for 10 yen
Kaminari: eh, it's not worth it
Sero: 10 yen isn't worth it? How much money do you have?
Bakugo: poor loser
Kirishima: Kaminari do you need money? I don't have any but I know this guy who can predict the winner of any karate match.
Yaoyorozu: Is this the same guy who said he could predict the result of any hero villain match as long as All Might was fighting?
Jiro: wasn't that just All Might?
Kirishima: I'm not about to reveal my source
Uraraka: it is
Kirishima: Ochako!
Uraraka: Eijiro I'm sorry, but I don't like who you become when you gamble.
Kaminari: Are we having an intervention rn?
Sero: Bakugo do you still have the banner?
Bakugo: did you idiots store that shitty ass banner in my fucking room?
Sero: well, we didn't not store it in your room
Mina: tbh I'm shocked he hasn't found it yet
Tsu: do you guys have an intervention banner too?
Midoriya: we were just planning an intervention for Uraraka about her fighting with Kirishima, but luckily that seemed to fix itself before we were needed
Yaoyorozu: I have a confession to make
Jiro: ?
Yaoyorozu: there is only one banner. You both came to me, and I have been bringing it back and forth. This has been weighing on me for a while, so it's nice to finally come clean
Ojiro: why not just make two banners?
Yaoyorozu: we're supposed to be going green, and I figured it would be lost eventually and then I would make a new one, but it turns out the hiding spot in Bakugo's room works pretty well for storage.
Hagakure: wait, so does that mean when we had our intervention for Dark Shadow about his online shopping we were using the same banner as when we had the intervention for Mineta and his creepy habits
Jiro: who?
Hagakure: not that that worked at all,, but still,, it's a sweet banner
Sero: how is that going green it's literally renewable energy, right? Am I dumb like we didn't cut down a tree? Unless you ate a tree
Jiro: you're dumb
Mina: I think he's right though?
Yaoyorozu: By going green I was talking about the time it takes for these things to break down, most of the things you guys ask for are just deteriorating in Bakugo's closet
Bakugo: EH?
Yaoyorozu: Is it not okay that I keep them there? Uraraka said it would be fine.
Ojiro: how are you even getting into Bakugo's room?
Yaoyorozu: Oh! I don't, Uraraka and Kirishima always do it
Bakugo: You two are this close to losing access to my bedroom
Kaminari: WHY DO THEY GET ACCESS TO YOUR BEDROOM AND NOT ME?
Mina: so we're just gonna ignore the time you sleep walked into my room took a shit and left
Kaminari: yes
Ojiro: i need the story
Ojiro: like not a want but a need
Mina: it was the day after the usj attack no one had heard from kaminari at all I assumed he was at Mineta's bedside or had somehow hurt himself in the walk back so I was like Kami? You good and he said verbatim 'Sero shut the fuck up dude mineta said that it was cool to shit during sex' and then he dropped his pants and shit on my teddy bear and now he claims to not remember the dream at all
Kaminari: I have a condition, I am a sleep walker that has extremely kinky sex dreams
Shoji: so are you saying you have sex dreams about Sero?
Kaminar: ONE that I don't remember,, most are about girls bc I am straight with a capital STR
Sero: I'm just happy to be included
Mina: my teddy bear is ruined and all you HEATHENS care about is who's gay for who
Kirishima: Yaoyorozu is it "whom" now?
Yaoyorozu: I don't think so? But you use whom when it's the object of a sentence with a preposition
Uraraka: Are we objectifying Sero?
Mina: Yes.
Jiro: most likely
Uraraka: Cool
Iida: Dear Uraraka, Jiro, and Mina, I do not think you should be objectifying Sero. I do think that Mina is correct and we should be worrying more about her ruined Teddy Bear and the repercussions the guilty party should probably face. I hope you understand what I am saying. Sincerely, Iida Tenya.
Hagakure: we understand, you're saying we should burn Kaminari at the stake, hear you loud and clear
Iida: Dear Hagakure, that is not at all what I am saying, I was going to suggest we all chip in and get Kaminari some sleep counseling. Please know I did not mean any harm to Kaminari. Sincerely, Iida Tenya.
Tokoyami: speaking of iida and counselling how did bakugo's meeting with aizawa go about threatening students lives
Bakugo: I didn't need shitty counseling, we just had a talk
Kirishima: he gets detention if he threatens Midoriya's life again
Uraraka: Eijiro, he told us that in confidence!
Kirishima: If I have to forge signatures for him he can handle this babe
Uraraka: I suppose you're right, I did have to pretend to be his mother on the phone
Bakugo: you did not curse enough to be my mom, I should have asked pinky
Uraraka: how dare you! I can curse
Bakugo: prove it
Uraraka: um
Kirishima: come on babe you can do it!
Uraraka: d- d- darn flabbit fiddle sticks hootin nanny
Bakugo: don't prove me wrong about you round face
Uraraka: ?
Bakugo: put the letters together maybe?
Uraraka: fuck you I can do it
Uraraka: !
Kirishima: great going babe!
Uraraka: wanna make out?
Kirishima: yeah
Bakugo: I've decided once again fuck this group chat
Todoroki: not to interrupt, but did we move past discovering midoriya's crush?
Hagakure: oh yeah! Sorry I was distracted, they're like a telenovela
Ojiro: Its like if you combined Jane the Virgin and Maria la del Barrio
Hagakure: I was just thinking that…. Do you wanna go watch mldb
Ojiro: Sweetie you're reading my mind.
Sero: Are all the couple's gonna just fuck off right now?
Tokoyami: me and shoji are currently at the bowling alley
Aoyama: Sero wanna come with me to the mall?
Sero: bye everybody
Sato: so are they a fucking couple now?
Jiro: I can never keep up, when we start talking about it in the girl chat aoyama just starts speaking french
Yaoyorozu: Me and Todoroki are going to a diner later! We're seeing how the other half lives
Mina: wait LIKE ON A DATE?
Todoroki: No I invited Iida, I thought we were just doing rich student activities.
Kaminari: so wait, the three of you just do things that normal people do for fun because you're rich?
Todoroki: the other day we tried to spend less than 20,000 yen at a market. Bananas are much cheaper than I expected.
Hagakure: so are you like making fun of poor people?
Yaoyorozu: no! Of course not! It's sort of like extra training to help us understand the mindset of the average thief.
Sato: do all thiefs have to be poor? Aren't we taught that some criminals are wealthy?
Yaoyorozu: no just like the average ones, Iida describes it better
Iida: Dear Sato, while not all thieves are poor, Yaoyorozu, Todoroki and I are far more familiar with the mindset of those who come from wealth. It was at the suggestion of Aizawa-sensei that we attempt to learn more about those who come from a different background than us. Please do let me know if you are still confused and I will attempt to clarify myself more. Sincerely, Iida Tenya.
Sato: That actually does make more sense, thanks
Iida: Dear Sato, you're welcome. Sincerely, Iida Tenya
Todoroki: so, did anyone figure out who Midoriya has a crush on?
Uraraka: Bakugo and I think it's Eijiro
Kaminari: I thought you and Kiri were making out
Kirishima: we are! Bakugo is also here
Ojiro: is that not weird for you guys?
Kirishima: the dude has the best snacks, i'm not gonna kick out the dude who brought salted pretzels
Kaminari: wait,,, soft pretzels?
Kirishima: I probably shouldn't say
Kaminari: who's room are you in? I'll be there asap
Uraraka: I'd rather you didn't
Mina: bold
Uraraka: was that rude? I didn't mean to hurt your feelings Kaminari, it's just four's a crowd.
Shoji: I thought three was a crowd?
Tokoyami: let them have this
Aoyama: usually I think two is a crowd, but not right now if you know what I mean
Sero: I'm flattered I think
Sero: Siri, am I gay?
Mina: simon says yes
Jiro: I don't think you understand how simon says works
Sero: I think she was right
Ojiro: no, that's definitely not how Simon says works
Sero: no not that, I'm a simon says allstar
Bakugo: shut the fuck up
Sero: you didn't say simon says
Sero: anyways I think Mina is correct, I guess I'm gay
Kaminari: what?
Sero: yeah like I think I was so reliant on bi bc like I thought mina was hot but like that's just objectively true a blind man would find her hot, but like im totally a gay dude, so like thanks aoyama,,,,,, midoriya shouji tokoyami jiro do we have a gay club?
Tsu: leaving me out?
Sero: why does this keep happening!
Tsu: I'm kidding! I'm so proud of you, snake
Hagakure: Sero! I'm so proud of you. Also I totally get the Mina thing, like I'm only into Ojiro but Mina's a catch
Mina: awe guys! Unlike Bakugo everyone knows I'm hot
Tokoyami: are you saying that you're the opposite of Bakugo bc everyone finds him ugly?
Uraraka: that's not true! Eijiro and I don't think Bakugo is ugly. In fact he is on both of our hall pass lists
Sero: what's a hall pass list?
Ojiro: It's a list of people, usually famous people, who if given the chance you could sleep with and not face repercussions from your partner
Tokoyami: Shoji has Best Jeanist on his list
Shoji: that was supposed to be a secret. Despite being ultra gay, Tokoyami put midnight.
Tokoyami: SHOJI
Tokoyami: She's like cool or whatever idk leave me alone she's my if i had to pick a girl
Jiro: that's what Kaminari called me
Jiro: speaking of is he dead? He hasn't responded since Sero came out
Jiro: OH also, Sero you are now welcome to join the gay goth club
Sero: the proudest moment of my life
Sero: we're not going to discuss Tokoyami's crush on Midnight at the club right?
Jiro: not in front of him
Hagakure: not to change the subject but does anyone else have a crush on one of our teachers?
Bakugo: dekus in love with all might
Todoroki: Bakugo that is not news
Kirishima: he's mad at himself for laughing at todoroki's joke
Bakugo: shut the fuck up shitty hair I didn't laugh
Uraraka: it's not a laugh, it's more an expulsion of air from his nostrils
Mina: gross
Midoriya: Like his quirk?
Kaminari: no, also if anyone is curious me and bakugo are watching them make out together discussing politics, it's better than you'd think
Hagakure: wait so you guys let Kaminari into your room?
Uraraka: he had juice
Uraraka: (also I think he needs to be with friends right now)
Tsu: putting brackets doesn't prevent him from seeing it, you know that, right?
Jiro: Kaminari isn't the sharpest tool in the shed if you know what I mean
Kirishima: actually, his dick is longer than you think
Mina: WHAT IS IT JUST OUT RIGHT NOW WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
Kirishima: ew what no, at least I don't think it is.
Hagakure: then how do you know the length of his peen?
Yaoyorozu: I don't think we want to know the answer
Midoriya: you really don't
Todoroki: Midoriya? Have you seen kaminari's private parts?
Sato: I hate the term private parts like, what are my public parts? My hands? fuck you
Bakugo: steal someone else's thing, easybake
Sato: You don't own the fuck word
Ojiro: Sato, do not poke the bear, I repeat, do not poke the bear
Kaminari: Is Bakugo the bear in this scenario?
Sato: I do not want to poke bakugo
Ojiro: quick, Uraraka and Kirishima make out so that Bakugo will be distracted
Shoji: I doubt that will work
Kaminari: I've just refilled his juice, and I think we might be good
Kirishima: wait, what does Sato mean by poke Bakugo like is that a sexual thing? Should I be poking Uraraka?
Sero: you aren't poking Uraraka?
Kirishima: I will now!
Uraraka: damn it Sero, he poked me in the eye
Bakugo: it was funny
Uraraka: rude now they're all laughing and I think I need to see Recovery Girl
Tsu: do you want me to come with you?
Kaminari: it's okay, she let out a single tear and then Bakugo and Kirishima fought over who was going to carry her to Recovery Girl
Yaoyorozu: why would Bakugo carry her?
Kaminari: according to him, Kirishima was the one who hurt her, so he had to get her away from her assailant. To be fair, the logic was there
Midoriya: Urarakachan are you okay?!
Kaminari: she's fine, she winked at me with the hurt eye
Mina: who's carrying her?
Kaminari: they both have her on one shoulder like the winner of a football game in the US
Todoroki: I don't think that's a real thing
Kaminari: it's on tv so it has to be real
Sero: speaking of things on tv, Aoyama and I are officially going on our first date, but its a group date because I've never gone on a date and need my bros
Sato: who's going on this date?
Sero: me and Aoyama, Mina and Tetsutetsu, Tokoyami and Shoji, Hagakure and Ojiro, Yaoyorozu and Todoroki, Midoriya and Jiro, Kirishima and Uraraka and Bakugo
Mina: two quick questions, one, why are Midoriya and Jiro matched for this? And two, why is Bakugo coming?
Sero: well I assumed they were dating because they had lunch together yesterday and I asked if they wanted to come and they both said yes once I told them everyone else who was coming. Also Bakubro is a bro and he needs to come with us so I just added him on at the end
Kaminari: well add two more to your reservation because me and my date are also coming
Sato: imma be having a singles only pastries party, at the same time, Tsu? You in? Koda, Iida and I will be tearing it up karaoke style
Tsu: actually I can't guys, I'm the one going on the date with Kaminari
Uraraka: Tsu I thought you hated Kaminari, and also only date women
Tsu: those are both true statements, however I found I am also attracted to another kind of people
Tsu: those who hate Sero
Sero: HOW MANY TIMES MUST I APOLOGIZE?
Tsu: UNTIL YOU MEAN IT
Sero: wait, hate Sero? Bruh?
Kaminari: sorry bro
Sero: Do you actually hate me
11:59 PM
Sero: Kaminari?