After skirting quietly out of Lucius' room — and checking that her hair wasn't enough of a mess to give her away — Lucius and Lily stepped out into the Hogwarts grounds. The air was frigid, and Lily shivered, remembering the warmth of the body that had so recently been pressed against hers.

She didn't know what he wanted to talk about; he hadn't said anything since he'd announced no one had been in the Slytherin Common Room. She definitely regretting bringing up the possibility of them never sleeping together again. Maybe it was better unspoken, or, at least, it would have avoided having to have a walk and a talk about it.

Lucius was striding purposely towards the Lake, and Lily picked up her tread to keep pace with him.

"So," she said softly.

Lucius looked at her, and she couldn't see his expression in the dark. But she felt his hand curl into hers, and she gripped it tightly. It felt nice, to be holding hands with him in the darkness, in secret.

He started to speak, and it sounded like he had possibly been rehearsing what to say in his head on the way from his room.

"Obviously, Lily, I have found you attractive for a long time. More than attractive, but charming and witty and far too smart for the likes of me."

"Me?" she said, barely able to contain a laugh.

"Yes, you are too smart for me. Which is why I never did anything about the fact I thought of you in that way, but I enjoyed your company immensely whenever I got it. I asked you to study with me, not knowing I was going to kiss you that night. Not thinking we'd ever get that far, I thought it was just a fantasy."

If it was possible to blush inside and out, Lily was doing just that. He had thought about it, much like she had, and that knowledge plus the cold air made her almost giddy. But she didn't interrupt him this time.

"But getting a little drunk around you gave me some courage, and so I kissed you, thinking you would recoil in horror. And to my surprise, you didn't. And even more to my surprise, you didn't retract your offer to help me, so I figured maybe you had quite enjoyed yourself as well, and had perhaps thought of me the way I thought about you.

It seems, once the seal was broken, so to speak, I found it hard to — again, so to speak — put it back in my pants, so I kissed you again. And this time I was sure you would not see me , today, there were you, punctual as ever and ready to help me. Yes, of course I wanted to sleep with you. But that was not 'what I came for' as you put it. I'm not who you think I am, if you think of me like that, and the fact that you do think that, makes me worry about what we've done."

Lily was overcome, but also alarmed. With her free hand, she gripped Lucius' bicep.

"Please don't worry about it! I told you, I had fun, I wanted to do it," she said. She hated the sound of pleading in her own voice, but she wanted to smooth over the wrinkle she had created.

Lucius shook his head.

"Not like that! I meant more, I think our emotional and physical intimacy might have far outstripped our experience and knowledge of each other."

Lily blinked up at him in the dark. She wished so much she could make out his expression better. She wanted to reply straight away, the knee jerk response. But he was being so… naked with her. It seemed only right that she would think about his words before deciding what to say.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, and Lily looked out across the Lake. The water glinted like sea glass beneath the moon, and the Whomping Willow looked like a giant's corpse without its leaves.

"Perhaps you right," she said slowly, testing the weight of her words as she spoke them. "But I don't want to stop doing this, necessarily."

Lucius stopped and spun her round to face him.

"I would not like that either, not at all," he said. He reached down and brushed a strand of hair from her face. "But I think maybe we should be taking it slower. How about that?"

She nodded.

"Okay."

She could see his smile in the stark moonlight.

"Okay," he repeated. And he set them back to walking towards Hogwarts, taking her hand again. "Although, I hope this doesn't take kissing off the table."

Lily laughed, and she felt some of the tension leech out of her shoulders.

"Definitely not. You're far too good for that," she said.

He took his cue, and stopped them again. For one fumbling moment in the dark, he couldn't seem to find her properly, but then he hand was resting gently on her jaw, and his lips were on hers, and she felt right and whole.

And once she was back in her room, she didn't want to think about what that meant — to feel right and whole, while kissing Lucius Malfoy. It couldn't be good. But she tried to relax, tried to tell herself that she would just have to see how it went, and make her decisions in the moment.

He was right, though, the more she thought about it. Only a week ago, she would swear blind she would never so much as share an impassioned hug with Lucius, and now she had slept with him. They needed to cool their heels.

Their next day of studying was frighteningly uneventful, compared to the two days before. No, indeed, they did exactly what they had planned to do — study and practice. Much to Lily's surprise, things weren't even awkward between them. They were actually great, still flirty and teasing, but with only light physical contact.

But as they cleaned up to go, and Lily grabbed her bag, Lucius stopped her.

"Eat light at dinner, and meet me at 9pm, by the library."

She raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Late night study session, is it? I thought we'd agreed —"

"Nothing like that," he said, waving her off. "Just meet me, and I'll show you what I have up my sleeve."

She almost made a dirty joke, but thought the better of it. He was a bad influence enough on her. After a moment, she nodded.

"How very enigmatic of you," she said. "Fine, I'll come."

"Excellent. Just — eat a lighter supper, will you?"

Lily settled into the seat across from Remus again for dinner, which just happened to be perfectly placed so she couldn't see any of the clocks. She had spent so much of her time since she'd spoken to Lucius counting down the hours, that she just couldn't stand it anymore. It also was not the biggest coincidence that she was seated looking away from the Slytherin table. No furtive glances would get the best of her now.

"Lily, our wanderer returns," Remus said, grinning at her. "Potatoes?"

"Oh yes please," she said, taking the bowl from him. "Hardly a wanderer."

"Well, I didn't see you last night, at dinner or passing through the Common Room, and I was up quite late," he said. His eyebrow was raised suggestively, and she could barely stamp down on the heat rising in her neck before it could reach her cheeks. "So I take it you've taken my advice, and are out there making bad decisions?"

She pursed her lips and gave him the most withering look she could manage. It was met with a grin. She cast her eyes down the table, to see if anyone might overhear. The very hint that she'd been up to something was enough to cause a stir up a rumour, she was sure. But there was no need to worry. They were seated at the end of the table, and the two Gryffindor Fifth Years she barely recognised were far enough away that there was little chance of them hearing any secrets.

"Wonderful," he said. "Aren't they always the funnest?"

"You're incorrigible," she said. She passed him back the bowl of potatoes now she'd taken hers, and reached for the chicken in the middle of the table. The smell was absurdly good, and she only now realised that she'd missed lunch. Still, she would have to go easy, given Lucius' comment earlier about eating a light dinner.

"I've never been called that before! You do compliment me so," he said, flapping a hand at her and pretending to flutter his eyelashes. "But seriously! Tell me about it!"

"There's not much to tell," she lied, shrugging. "We had a bit of fun, you know."

Remus pouted. "Come on, give me more to work with than that!"

"I told you, I'm not going to tell you who it is," she said.

"You don't have to tell me who it is to give me details! I'm not going to press you on that," he said. He shrugged. "And if I work it out by accident, you can always rope me into an Unbreakable Vow."

She gaped at him. "I'm not going to do that!"

"Don't look at me like that, I'm only joking," he said. "Wow, Lily, I've never seen you this flustered before. Look, you don't have to tell me anything. We can discuss — Merlin, I don't know. The weather. That rain, hey? It's really coming down out there. What do the Muggles say? 'Raining cats and toads'?"

"Cats and dogs," she laughed. She wrinkled her nose. Oh, but wouldn't it be nice to tell someone, anyone about it? Perhaps not a name, but… "I will say, he is a very good kisser."

Remus grinned.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes," she said, her chin up like she was declaring something proper, not sordid details of her love life. "Just the right amount of tongue, tastes delicious, and… he's very handsy when he kisses. I like that."

"Oh, that's the best kind of kissing," Remus nodded. He looked off into the middle-distance, and sighed. "A hand through the hair, one of on your back, but constantly moving like they're afraid you might slip out of their arms."

Lily giggled, which brought Remus back to the table, and he looked appropriately abashed.

"Thinking of someone in particular, are we?" she said, eyebrow cocked. It was very satisfying to watch his blush deepen.

"Hey! I'm making you squirm, not the other way around," he reminded her. He stuck out his tongue and went back to eating.

"Sorry, I forgot my place there for a moment," she said, chuckling.

"But seriously, thank you. It's so dull here without Sirius and James, and Peter, this'll keep me going until at least Christmas Eve."

"I'm so glad my personal life can be of service to your amusement," she said, but she was grinning far too much for it to take on the mock-chiding tone she was aiming for.