HEART, AND EAR, AND EYE

Job 8: Demolition Murray

Murray leaves the safe-house and makes his way through the city, dodging patrols and hearing the occasional mutter in his ear as Carmelita fights with the binoc-u-com controls. It seems that the controls are winning: she can't actually put anything on the guards Sly and Thaddeus have to pickpocket. Well, if anyone can go without waypoints, it's those two.

It isn't long before Murray arrives at his own destination: a small house near the corner of the fissure, across the street from the bus depot. "Okay Carmelita," says Murray. "I'm where Bentley said I should be."

"One second... hang on... oh, forget it," Carmelita mutters. There's a noise of shuffling and crinkling papers. "Let's see. It says that you're standing across the street from—you know how to hotwire those?!"

"I get to hotwire an old bus?" Murray actually claps his hands. "This is gonna be awesome!"

"No you don't get to—this is highly illegal!"

"Then why did you bring it up?" asks Murray. "The Murray is going to find a vehicle and hot its wires!"

The noise of exasperation Carmelita makes is rather entertaining. Murray tucks his binoc-u-com away and makes his way to the building, full of old-fashioned (well, not for this time period, but, you know) horseless carriages. He has to bust down a section of the fence before he can look around. None of the ones parked in the yard outside seem to suit him, so he climbs through a conveniently large open window (nearly getting his belt stuck) and looks in their garage.

Well hello there, modern day tank. Fancy seeing you here. What the dancing Dimitri are you doing here?

"This is gonna be AWESOME! I haven't driven a tank since Prague!"

As Murray pries open the hatch on the tank, Carmelita pipes up again. "I guess this is better than just stealing some 1800's car... this is conclusive evidence that this place has some connection to our time, and so also The Contessa, after all. Do you remember how to drive a tank, Murray?"

"Of course! I use the left and right sticks. I push them both up to go ahead, both down to go away, and opposite ways to turn." Murray starts the tank as he talks, giving the player time to experiment.

"Right. Hey, those were bigger words than I usually hear you use."

"Bentley uses them a lot. Oh! And I can shoot with the R1 button, which is how I'll get out of this building!"

Carmelita may be saying something else, but the exact words can't be heard over the sound of tank treads and explosions; just her irritation. Boy, is she mad. Not mad enough to be heard over a tank shooting down a door and driving over a fence, mind you, but still mad.

When he's driving the tank down the road, some of her words become audible: "—can't believe this, all that worry and fuss over doing things the legal way with Sly, all so I could have Murray steal a tank—"

"Okay Carmelita, what am I supposed to do?"

There's a moment of silence over the binoc-u-com line. "I'm not sure I should tell you. I just assisted in breaking so many laws I may never show my face at Interpol again, I can't make it worse."

"Well, is the tank here legally?"

"Of course not!" she snaps.

"And is The Contessa doing legal things?"

"Not by a long shot."

"And is there another way to stop her?"

Carmelita goes quiet.

"Is there?" asks Murray.

I didn't know it was possible to hear someone grinding their teeth through a microphone, Bentley's equipment must be amazing. "There must be," she says, "but we can't do it by tomorrow, and I—I refuse to let that horrible, eight-legged cow do to an entire city what she tried to do to me."

"Or what she did to me!" pipes in The Murray. "I want to floss my teeth with HER SPINE!"

Carmelita actually laughs. "Easy, big guy. You get to start by taking out all the advertisement for tomorrow's play. That's when she'll be vulnerable."

"Righteous! Advertisements, prepare to be TAKEN OUT by... The Murray."

With that, Murray starts driving his tank towards the first waypoint: the spotlit area where Sly and Thaddeus shut down the first set of lights. Almost all of the advertisements are street-level billboards in range of the tank's turret, but once he's taken those out, he has to park it down a side alley, bounce to a rooftop off a box of tea, and tear down a few posters by hand. And get rid of another advertisement by throwing some investigating guards at it.

When the last advertisement shatters, something falls from it: a beautiful bracelet, sparkling as it catches the dim light. It lands by his feet, and he picks it up, then sways on his feet. "Uh, Carmelita? Are you there?"

There's no response. Murray tucks the jewelry into a pocket and gets back in his tank. His next stop is the fountain where Sly and Thaddeus just finished dealing with the second set of spotlights. He's only halfway there when he hears Carmelita. "How you doing, Murray?"

Murray runs over a guard with his tank. Some others bolt. "I am having the time of My LIFE!This is AWESOME"

Carmelita chuckles. "Glad you approve. Sly and Thaddeus are on their last set of spotlights. Bentley's too busy hacking to talk. Try not to destroy anything from this time."

"Okay," says Murray. "Oh! When I destroyed the last stuff, something weird came out."

"Weird how?" asks Carmelita.

"I don't think jewelry is supposed to come out of billboards," says Murray. "And it made me dizzy when I held it."

Carmelita mutters some indistinct but unhappy Spanish under her breath. "Hang onto it, and any others you find. Bentley brought along his scanner thing, that he used on the gems we found with Tsao; we can see if there's any connection."

"Okay," says Murray.

Then he's arrived at the fountain, where there are more guards who are... decidedly less happy to see him. All the ones who can flee to the rooftops and wait. And they know what they're waiting for, of course. Because after Murray has shot, blasted, run over, and otherwise destroyed all the advertisements that needed a tank to destroy them, he has to get out of the tank again and jump up on the rooftops to handle the ads the tank can't reach.

Those poor, poor owls and porcupines, with their hatchets and bows and arrows and waterproof fireworks. They get punched, stomped, and thrown through a good dozen different signs, and Murray tears down several posters while he's at it. The glass (plastic?) on one sign shatters, revealing several gemstones in the center, strung into a necklace through the sign. Murray pulls it out and puts it in his pouch, where he doesn't have to touch it, shaking his head.

Then it's back in the tank he goes. "Okay, Carmelita, where to next?"

"Umm... sorry, Murray. Bentley isn't responding—he's too busy hacking—so I'm sending Sly and Thaddeus after him."

"Oh. That'll be fun."

"Yeah. In any case, none of the other ads have spotlights on them. They're scattered throughout this part of the city. There should... there." About a dozen waypoints blink into being on Murray's screen, showing all sorts of locations. "You shouldn't have to leave the tank to get rid of these ones."

"This is gonna be AWESOME! I bet I can do this in ten, no, five minutes!"

Carmelita actually chuckles. "Go for it, big guy."

So Murray does. Boy, does he. He goes all over town at max speed, taking out signs and balloons as soon as they come into range, going from one side of town to the other, in a happy haze of destruction.

Until he's gotten the last advertisement and Carmelita contacts him again. "Tienes que traer a Sly aquí ahora mismo!"

Murray blinks. "Is that Spanish? Sly says you only speak Spanish when you're upset. Where's Sly? What do I need to do?"

"Thaddeus lo tiene a él. Hay un tanque dando vueltas al teatro; sácalo, luego velve aquí. Ahora!"

"A tank at the theater? It will be no match for THE MURRAY."

Yep. There's a tank going around and around the theater. As if you didn't know. And Murray, well, Murray doesn't question it.

He just hunts down that tank. And destroys it.

JOB COMPLETE

(Murray pops out of the tank just long enough to flex, then ducks back in and drives back towards the safe-house).