The theory was there, but as it was with so many things, theories were easier than reality.

Any idea could become a theory, theories could be explored and tested, but it was only when put to the test that one can find out if the theories held water or it if would sink like a stone.

As expected by Dorian himself, his own theories and hard work had done nothing more than buy Felix more time.

The taint was, by now, far to spread inside him and while the now bound spirit inside him was holding the taint at bay, he would only have months, maybe a few more years to live, which was more than he would have had.

He would always need the powder they had created to help purify his system and he would always be sensitive to new illnesses, but he was alive, he was standing, he was functioning and he was in his right mind.

It was much better than anything Dorian had dared hope for.

Dorian had, of course, spoken to Felix before he had done the ritual. He wanted his friend's consent, wanting him to know exactly what he was going to do and after a night of consideration, Felix had agreed.

"Not because I have not accepted my fate," he had whispered to Dorian as he had made the preparations for the ritual. "But because father has not. I can use this time to help him accept it."

"I hope you succeed where I failed," Dorian had murmured back before he started.

The ritual itself was slow, with Dorian coaxing several spirits to come from the veil, but by Felix's request, he did not forcibly bind them to his body. Instead he asked, pleaded, begged for any kind spirit to help his dear friend.

He didn't know how or why, but one spirit accepted and with the help of the necromantic spells of binding, Dorian managed to bind the spirit to Felix's body, leaving it there to help nurture and cleanse the taint as best it could.

The transformation was almost instant.

While Felix had started looking better with the treatment he was receiving, he had still been sickly pale, with slight dark lines where the wound was located on his arm and shoulder. He was thin and his eyes seemed sunken in and his hair had fallen out. At his worse, he had looked more dead than alive.

Now, just a few days after the ritual had been completed, Felix was looking more alive. While still pale, his cheeks were starting to get a bit of colour back as well as his eyes looking more alive again. His appetite was back and he was able to do things for himself without assistance.

Alexius was ecstatic, but he was also aware that this was a temporary solution based on all of Dorian's current research.

They were also at a standstill.

Dorian believed that further research into his own theories would be the most beneficial for everyone, but it would take much longer to reach a conclusion as they would have to do more testing, preferably on humans that were already suffering from the taint.

Alexius however, wanted to continue in his research into time-magic because they were already so close in reaching a definite conclusion.

Dorian disagreed, believing that even with a focus that the magic needed was too much for any mortal man to handle, but in the end he abandoned his research to continue aiding his mentor. He had already given up everything to be here and, for his own comfort, he had to see it through to the best of his abilities or it would have all been for nothing.

Despite spending all his time with either Alexius or Felix, Dorian felt horribly alone as he continued his work and his research, feeling as if he was doing nothing but slam his head against a rock. Felix was there, of course, but Alexius hardly let him out of his sight, let alone let Dorian and Felix have any time alone together.

So instead Dorian wrote many letters to his father, asking for advice and providing as many updates as he could about the situation. He somewhat hid the truth though, not wanting to worry his father about the state Alexius was in, so he underplayed it somewhat. He didn't want another written scolding like he had when his father had found out he had dropped out of school to do this, but thankfully Dorian had managed to somewhat reassure him that with what he had done here, he could easily get his foothold back at the academy.

At least he hoped so.

As he read over the response to his father's latest letter, Dorian let the tip of his quill tap against the ink-house, hoping that nothing was too revealing.

He had always been honest in what Alexius was trying, but he had been vague about the details, wanting the matter to stay as private as possible. If word came out about Alexius' desperation… His sadness and desperation could easily be exploited by someone at the Magisterium.

"I'm fine, Father. Seriously, you can stop asking.

Yes, I am still at the estate, and yes, we are still chasing after the same hopeless quest.

I keep hoping that Alexius will snap out of it. Was it not enough that we found a way to prolong Felix's life long past what someone with such an illness would normally hope to expect? We've given the poor boy years, when not long ago he would have only have had months.

Instead of spending that time with Felix, Alexius has us chasing the past.

I gave him the letter you sent, but he waved it away the same way he ignores anything I say … as if I haven't been here with him, for months and months, staring at the same dead end he is.

What he wants to do is technically possible, but the power it would require is unachievable and, even if it wasn't, would rip apart the fabric of time if successful.

Thankfully there's been no talk of blood magic."

Biting on his bottom lip, Dorian considered what to wipe away from the letter before deciding against it, instead quickly finishing it so it could be sent.

"Despite what you fear, Father, I yet have hope for him."

Because he did. He truly did have hope that he could break through to him, but he had to somehow break the illusion that was clouding his mind first.

He finished the letter with some minor updates on what he had been trying to do and how Felix was doing before he sent the letter off with a messenger, watching the man quickly ride off to before Dorian himself vanished back inside the house.

Taking a moment to himself, Dorian glanced up towards the stairs, in the direction of Alexius' study. He knew his mentor was there, working tiredly on the focus that had by now taken the shape of an amulet, engraved with runes and empowered by a gemstone made out of pure lyrium that had been covered by glass. It had been dangerous considering how deadly lyrium in its raw form was, but the power of the raw lyrium was perfect for their needs.

Sighing, Dorian returned to his chamber, feeling as if sending that letter had drained him of the very last of his energy.

He knew he hadn't taken care of himself very well in the last few months; training, eating, grooming, time for himself… it had all been neglected in favour of helping his mentor.

After entering his chamber, silently closing and locking the door behind him, Dorian walked over to his dresser to evaluate the damage.

To the untrained eye, he seemed fine, if not a bit tired, but he himself could see the damage. How his normally well-kept hair was just tugged into simple ponytails, the slight scruff on his chin and the length of his moustache. He had lines under his eyes and his normally bronze-tanned skin had turned more pale from days, even weeks of staying indoors.

If his mother had seen him now, she would have scolded him.

Running his hands over his face, Dorian inhaled deeply, trying his best to empty his mind enough so he could maybe get one decent night of sleep.

Still, as he removed his silken robes, tunic and breech, he did it slowly, as if they weighed more than they did. When done, he let his nude body fall onto the silken sheets before snuggling against the pillow, embracing it like a long-lost lover. Yet not many seconds passed before Dorian's mind was spinning with thoughts, ideas, theories. What ifs… So many what ifs…

What if they didn't succeed?

What if Alexius would never give up?

What if Alexius decided to go further?

What if...?

It was with those thoughts resting heavily on his mind that Dorian fell asleep, entering a restless dream full of taunting words and empty promises.

And in the middle of it all was poor Felix.

xoxoxoxoxox

"This has to end."

The second the words left his mouth, Dorian winced, but he had decided to stand his ground on this a long time ago.

Several more weeks had passed since his ritual with Felix had taken place and in that time, Alexius had only gotten more and more obsessed with trying to make a breakthrough. At this rate, Dorian truly started to fear for the man and he knew he had to set his foot down.

He had practiced what he wanted to say in front of the mirror for several hours the night before, mentally preparing a list of reasons as to why this was going nowhere and why they should quit while they were ahead.

He continued practicing as he tended to himself the next morning, making sure to look his best and also his most serious.

His long black hair brushed and tied back to an elegant ponytail at the base of his neck, with just a few strands of hair loose to frame his face. His eyes outlined with kohl, his scruff shaved away and shaped to a more anchor-shaped style beard as his upper lip and chin was now sporting proper, dark hair.

As a final touch he put on one of his more proper robes, used in more serious gatherings where one was to show off one's status and authority rather than their sense of fashion.

Not that the robes weren't stylish.

Black with golden patterns stitched around the sleeves, neck and front in straight lines, forming geometric shapes that decorated their designated areas.

Of course, clothes and make-up could not make up for the fact that he had never truly stud his ground before. He had avoided, slithered away, made up excused and pushed things to the side since he was a child because he had been taught that he had no say in things anyway. He was to shut up and accept that this was the path he was meant to go.

Even after he rebelled and ran away, he had been lured back to a more acceptable lifestyle, but the chains were still around his wrists and ankles. The chains were merely longer now and he had yet to feel them hold him back like they had when he was a child.

Now he was standing there, looking at Alexius from across the man's study, Dorian's back against the closed door and Alexius behind the large, wooden desk.

The look of surprise on Alexius face, as if he wasn't sure that he had heard Dorian correctly brought some courage to Dorian. He could do this.

"You are right," Alexius said and for the briefest of seconds, Dorian believed that he had already won. It had been that easy.

"We need to do the lyrium enchantment all over again, I believe we should replace the runes we etched into the stone. Dorian, if you can- "

"No," Dorian said firmly, pushing himself away from the door and walked towards Alexius. "We need to stop this. This is not going to work. We have already worked miracles as it is, but what we are trying to do… What you are trying to achieve here, for your own selfish gains, it is too dangerous. It is too much. The power alone is not possible for one man to control and even if we do succeed, we don't know what the results will be."

Alexius merely stared at Dorian, too stunned to reply, so Dorian continued. He needed to get it out before Alexius could block him out, needed to try and reach the man he knew was inside the shell that had once been Dorian's mentor.

"We have achieved something that nobody else ever has, Alexius. And you should embrace that so you can spend time with your son."

"I cannot abandon him, not like this. I must fix this," Alexius replied, a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"Some things cannot be fixed and for all of our achievements, death cannot be conquered," Dorian replied, sighing some. "We have given something Felix did not have just a few months ago. We have added months, even years to his life. You should spend it wisely."

"What do you know," Alexius growled, his hands tightening around a scrap of paper, making it crumble as his fingers curled in to make a fist.

"You do not know what it is like, Dorian. To lose your wife and only child to something you could have prevented. I refuse to let him go. I will heal him."

"Listen to yourself," Dorian pleaded. "You refuse to see the truth, you refuse to see what there is nothing that could have been done. You cannot live on "what if's", you must live now!"

"No," Alexius roared, startling Dorian enough to make him take one step back.

"I have already lost my wife, I refuse to lose my son! A father should never have to bury their children and damned the Maker, I will correct this mistake!"

"You are losing him now," Dorian barked back, feeling that his patience was slipping. "You are sitting here, in your office, trying to do the impossible while Felix is alone! You should spend time with him instead of letting him feel guilty for what happened! Guilty because his father refuses to let him go!"

Dorian knew that he was striking a nerve now, but he wasn't caring. This had gone on long enough and he knew that there was no turning back anymore.

"You need to stop chasing the past and focus on the future, Alexius! You should stop this selfish chase of impossible magics and turn your attention where it matters!"

"Selfish?!" Alexius roared, slamming his first hard onto his desk. "What I am seeking can help save lives! Correct errors! Imagine what can be done, we- "

"Bullshit," Dorian said firmly. "You didn't have this in mind when you started this! When we first explored the possibilities, we dismissed it as being something we should not tamper with! We are not Gods! You are not doing this for humanity, you are doing this for you! For Felix! And Felix doesn't even want it, he is ready to die! He does not want to live to be a burden to you, but you are forcing him! He isn't living because he can, he is living because you want him to and he will forever be tied to you because you are unable to give him up and move on!"

He went too far and he was fully aware of it, but as Alexius face shifted between sorrow and anger, Dorian knew. Alexius knew that Dorian was right, but he wasn't willing to accept it.

"I love my son," Alexius growled as he managed to rid his face of the sorrow, only pure, adulterated anger left in his eyes.

"And if you are not going to help me, then there is no point in you staying here. In fact, there is no point in me helping you."

Dorian felt his heart skip a beat, his eyes widening for a moment. "Alexius, I- "

"Get out of my house, Pavus. Our work together is done. All of it."

"Alexius- "

"GET OUT," Alexius roared, pointing a finger towards the door behind Dorian, said door slamming open from the force of Alexius' magic.

"And do not even THINK about speaking to Felix, he does not need to know of your treachery. Do not write him or me! We are done here!"

Dorian felt faint, feeling as if he was about to hyperventilate, but at the last second he was able to slip his mask on. He straightened up, his chin lifted as he stared Alexius down.

"You will bring nothing but more heart-ache into this family if you continue this, Magister Alexius," he said, his voice low and hard as he tried to prevent it from shaking.

"I hope you will find you are looking for in the ruins that will be left."

And with that, Dorian turned around and left the office, carrying himself with more confidence than he actually felt.

He had no idea how he was able to get to his room to back and he strongly suspected that he was letting his body do the work automatically while he himself was busy thinking about exactly what had just happened.

He had just tossed everything out the window, hurt his master and his best friend and now… Now he had nowhere to go.

He couldn't go home to his parents, not like this. Yes, they would take him in, but because he had used so much time with Alexius, helping him and neglecting his own work, he had lost his standing at school and would start from scratch when the next cycle started and his parents would surely have him married off to Livia before then.

He couldn't go home. Not yet.

He needed time to figure out what to do now. He needed a plan.

After packing up his belongings, Dorian rushed out of the room that had once been his, feeling more like a stranger than a family-friend in the once comfortable house.

It was like he was walking from one daze to the other and in his new daze he was able to see things he hadn't noticed before, namely how… Quiet the house seemed now.

The servants were sullen, silent, merely shadows as they silently kept the large, lonely mansion in order.

Dorian wasn't sure who had ordered the carriage outside, but he couldn't say he cared either. He merely allowed for the driver to take his belongings while he himself got inside.

The carriage rocked slightly as the rider took his place on top after storing Dorian's belongings in the compartment in the back, coughing once before speaking.

"So, to Qarinus then, lord Pavus?"

"No," Dorian replied. "Minrathous. I have unfinished business there. Take me to the Gilded Quarter for now. I will instruct you if I change my mind."

"As you wish, my lord."

Dorian closed his eyes as he listened to the crack of the driver's whip, then jolted a little forward as the horses started moving, jolting the carriage into motion, slowly taking away from the house where he had spent the better part of his life.

He had grown in that house, experienced pain, loss, but also hope and happiness.

Now there was nothing left there but broken memories and a man who could not let go. A man chasing memories, wanting to accomplish the impossible, but in the end would lose everything if he couldn't let go of the past.

Dorian just hoped that he would be able to.

That they both would.