.

Helloooooo. Here is a bonus chaper, just for you.

Why?

Why not?

Enough said.

Now, let us go see what Thorin and Dwalin cooked up to torture poor Kili with, shall we?

.

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Chapter 70

Nidayith = Lad that is young; term of endearment

~X~

Later that night, Fili arrived back at his chambers, only to find his mother and wife sitting by the fire talking. Sier was still working on her sewing project, while Flinn was busy playing with his toys on the floor.

"Adad!" he squealed, abandoning his mock battle and charging at his father.

Scooping him up with ease, Fili held his precious dwarfling on his hip as he approached the dams.

"So, what are you two doing?" he asked, leaning in to kiss his wife's lips, and then his mother on the cheek. "Plotting against me perhaps?"

"Not just you, my son," Dis insisted. "Against all dwarrow in general."

"That's right," Sier laughed, joining her mother-in-law in the fun. "Soon we will have enough dams recruited to take over Erebor…perhaps all of Middle Earth."

"I do not doubt it, my love," Fili laughed. "For you have completely disarmed me, and I am your helpless victim. Do with me as you will."

"Careful, Fili," Dis warned him. "She just might take you up on that offer. And there are always floors to sweep, and dishes to do."

"It just so happens that I'm wonderful with dishes," Fili stated proudly, tickling Flinn's tummy and watching him squirm and squeal. "Just ask Bilbo."

"Oh, I have heard all about that little stunt you all pulled with Bilbo's mother's West Farthing china," Dis informed him with a scolding eye. "You all should be ashamed of yourselves, you scared that poor hobbit to death that night. I thought I taught you better manners than that!"

"Hey…we never broke a cup or chipped a plate!" Fili protested.

"Still, not the point," Dis insisted.

"Well," Sier broke in, hoping to save her poor husband from further chastisement. "Not to change the subject…but I am finished!"

"Finished with what?" Fili asked, latching on to this diversion with both hands.

"Kili's coat." Holding it up, Sier displayed the intricately designed garment for everyone to see.

"Oh, so pretty, Ama!" Flinn cried, clapping his hands together in glee. "Uncle Kili will love it!"

"Yes, I am certain he will," Dis nodded, taking note of all the hard work her daughter-in-law had obviously put into it. "Once he puts it on, he will never want to take it off."

"You have truly outdone yourself, Sier," Fili complimented.

"Well, since he had to wait so long for it, I figured it better be something special," the younger dam laughed, recalling the number of times Kili had asked when she might have it done.

"Can we take it to him now, Ama?" Flinn asked, wiggling out of Fili's hold and hurrying over to run his little fingers through the fox fur trim. "So soft."

"I don't see why not," Sier mused, and in truth she too was excited to see his reaction. "Do you know where he might be, Fili?"

"When I left him about a half an hour ago, he said he was heading for the communal baths to get rid of all the dust and grime from working in the mines today," Fili told them. "He should be back in his quarters by now, I would imagine."

"The communal baths?" Dis asked. "Kili has a perfectly good bathroom in his own chambers, why wouldn't he just use it?"

"Because if he got his own tub filthy, he would be the one expected to clean it," Fili laughed, watching his mother roll her eyes in exasperation.

"Sometimes I swear that Kili was raised by wargs!" she said with a sigh.

"No, worse…by Thorin!" Fili joked.

"Now that makes sense," Dis agreed with a wide smile.

"Come on!" Flinn insisted, grabbing hold of Dis and Sier's hands and trying to pull them up. "Let's go find Uncle Kili!"

"Yes, yes, we are coming, Nidayith," Dis laughed, picking him up as they all headed for the door. "I should be going anyway, I asked Marigold and Bergie up to my room for an after dinner cup of tea, so that we might have a little chit-chat." When Fili gave her a skeptical look, she patted his arm reassuringly. "Just girl talk, you know, wedding stuff, babies, and maybe find out if Marigold has any questions about being queen."

"Well, you are the perfect one to fill her in," Sier nodded, folding Kili's coat up into a nice neat square. "I don't know what I would have done if you had not been there to help me adjust to suddenly becoming a princess."

"Well, you were a very quick study, my dear," Dis smiled. "In fact, Marigold might benefit from some of your experiences. Would you care to join us?"

"I would love to," Sier replied, looking up at Fili. "If you wouldn't mind watching over Flinn for a while."

"I would love nothing better," he nodded, giving her a wink.

"N'ama, what does ni-ni-nidayith mean?" Flinn broke in, scrunching up his face as he did his best to get the unfamiliar word out.

"It is a term of endearment," Dis explained. "Meaning a young, smart, and extremely handsome lad…just like you." Of course she might have embellished it a bit, but from the way her grandson beamed, she didn't regret it at all.

"But I'm getting bigger every day!" the dwarfling told her with pride. "Ama says I am growing faster than a weed. And soon I will be a big brother!"

"Yes, you will," Dis nodded, taking note of how much Seir's stomach had grown since they had announced their pregnancy. It was now quite evident that a baby was indeed on the way. "And I, for one, can't wait."

"Me either!" Flinn told her, throwing his arms around Dis' neck and giving her a big kiss on the cheek.

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When the four of them stepped out into the hallway, they noticed something strange. There, leaning against the wall, as if waiting for something, were Thorin and Dwalin.

"What are the pair of you up to?" was Dis' first question, having seen that look in both dwarrows' eyes on many occasions…and knowing it always meant trouble.

"Oh, splendid," Thorin said with a grin. "You are all just in time."

"Time for what?" Fili asked, now just as suspicious as his mother.

"To witness your brother getting what is coming to him," Thorin chuckled.

"Oh?" Fili didn't know whether to be excited…or frightened. Not only was Thorin plotting…but he had recruited Dwalin, and that was never a good sign. Kili did not stand a chance. "And when might my nadadith be receiving his punishment?"

"Any moment now…depending on just how dirty he believes himself to be," Dwalin laughed, his usual stony features alight with mischief.

"Thorin," Dis said slowly, her voice full of warning. "What did you do?"

Yet before he could answer, there was the sound of bare feet running up the stairs to their left, causing all to turn and look in that direction. However, when the dwarrow making the noise rounded the corner, he skidded to a stop, shock and embarrassment written across his face.

"KILI!" Dis gasped. "WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?"

For indeed, there stood Kili, wearing nothing at all, save for a very strategically placed shield - and not even a large one at that – in front of himself, attempting to cover what little modesty he had left.

"Yes, Kili," Thorin repeated, though not sounding quite as shocked as his sister. "Where are your clothes?"

"Uncle Kili!" Flinn cried out in childlike horror. "You're not supposed to run around naked like that! What if other dams see you? Only your ama can see you with no clothes on!"

"Well, Flinn," Kili said, taking a deep breath and doing his best to appear unaffected. "I fear that I had very little choice in the matter. And as for other dams seeing me…well, too late there. I don't think I will ever be able to look Ilin or Dena in the face again."

"Something tells me it wasn't your face they were looking at," Dwalin snorted, though soon he was cringing a bit as he received a backhanded smack to his arm by Dis.

"There is a child present!" she hissed, jerking her head in Flinn's direction.

"Oh, you have ruined them now, little brother," Fili joked, completely oblivious to his mother's disapproval of Dwalin's previous inappropriate comment. "They will never be satisfied with Gloin and Bombur again."

"Careful, Fili," Sier warned in a stern tone, yet the gleam in her eye told another story. "I am getting a pretty good eyeful myself. Do you really think it is wise to jump on Thorin and Dwalin's bandwagon?"

This successfully shut the golden prince up, giving his wife a nervous…and now highly suspicious look.

"How did this happen, Kili?" Dis demanded, still shocked to see her baby as naked as the day he was born.

"Well, Ama, I was taking a bath, minding my own business, when someone…" he stopped here and glared daggers at Thorin and Dwalin – who were still desperately trying not to burst out laughing. "…when someone decided it would be a good joke to remove my clothes…as well as every towel, washcloth, or scrap of cloth not nailed down, from the bathing chambers. Thankfully, as I was trying to make my way back to my chambers, one of the passing guards took pity on me…"

"Or took pity on any who were ill fated enough to see your bare backside," Thorin interjected.

"Thorin! You stop!" Dis admonished.

"As I was saying," Kili continued, glaring at his uncle menacingly. "The guard took pity on me and loaned me his shield. I shall be eternally grateful to him for his kindness."

"You probably would have been more grateful if he loaned you his pants!" Dwalin roared, unable to control his laughter any longer.

"Now…if you have all had your fun, I would very much like to go into my chambers, put on some clothes, and drink myself into oblivion," Kili muttered, shutting his eyes in complete shame. "Maybe then I will be able to wipe this humiliation out of my mind."

"Perhaps you can," Thorin snickered. "But I promise you, it has been imprinted on my mind forever. And this story shall be told, and retold at every party, gathering, and campfire from now till the fall of Mordor. Hopefully that will teach you never to pull a prank where I end up being the butt of it."

"Yes, Uncle," Kili nodded, properly chastised. "It will never happen again."

"Oh, I seriously doubt that," Fili commented, knowing that all too soon his brother would be right back to his mischief making self. "Though maybe next time, you will be more careful, Nadadith…and choose to include me in on the fun instead of making me the target." Fili then stepped forward, gesturing to his brother's door. "Come along, little brother, let's get you inside."

Yet before Kili could take one step, the sounds of laughter was heard coming from the stairs…female laughter! And much to his horror, it was quickly followed by two loud and very shocked screams, as Marigold and Bergie rounded the corner and came face to face with Kili's naked backside.

"OH MY!" Marigold screeched, covering her eyes and spinning around in utter horror.

"Ooohhh my," Bergie drawled slowly, crossing her arms and taking a long appraising look.

"BERGIE!" Dwalin bellowed, pushing off from where he had been leaning against the wall and storming over to his wife. He quickly held his hand up, attempting to shield her eyes as the hobbit lass struggled to get a better look at what lay before her.

Kili, now completely mortified, backed his way to the wall and stood there with his tiny shield held in front of him, turning beet red from nose to toes.

"Thorin?" Marigold squeaked, her hands still covering her eyes. "Why is your nephew not wearing any clothes? Is this some strange dwarf custom I know nothing about?"

As Thorin's mouth fell open, and a look of shame covered his face, he did his best to respond…but no words would come.

"Yes, Thorin," Dis repeated, sounding rather smug. "Do tell Marigold why my poor, innocent, son isn't wearing any clothes."

"Well, well," Kili said slowly, seeing that Thorin and Dwalin's plan suddenly had managed to backfire on them. Now it appeared that they were the ones in hot water…with his mother as well as their lasses. "Apparently, the boot is on the other foot, it would seem."

"But you aren't wearing any boots, Uncle Kili," Flinn was quick to point out.

"It is just a figure of speech, Flinn," Sier explained, doing her best not to laugh at the absurdity of it all. She could tell that Fili was still warring over finding humor in his brother's misfortune, or pity…and in truth, she couldn't blame him. It really was hilarious. "Here, Flinn, why don't you take this to your uncle Kili…I think he could use it right about now." She handed her son the coat she had just finished, giving him a nudge towards the still naked prince.

"Oh, bless you, Sier," Kili sighed, seeing the garment in his nephew's hands. "You always were my favorite sister-in-law! Here, Flinn, shut your eyes, and hold this right there, will you?" He held up the shield, allowing the lad's fingers to grip it tightly before he slipped into the knee-length coat that Sier had made for him. He would have taken more time to admire the cut, stitching, and silver buttons if he had not been in such a hurry to cover himself. "Now…if you will all excuse me, I will take my leave. Sier, I thank you for the coat, Flinn I appreciate your assistance, and Ama, I am ever grateful for your support. Marigold, Bergie…I apologize for…for…well, you know. As for the rest of you, well you can all go sit on an orc's blade!" And with that he stormed into his chambers with his head held high and his bare feet slapping against the stone floor, slamming the door behind him.

When he was at last out of sight, Dwalin removed his hand from Bergie's eyes and Marigold dared to peek out from between her fingers.

"What in Mahal's name do you think you were doing?" Dwalin bellowed, looking rather shocked at his wife's behavior.

"Oh, come on Dwalin, I'm married, not dead!" she teased. "Besides, how was I to know what lay around the corner… or behind that shield," she added with a snicker, but sobered quickly at the glare Dwalin gave her. "That was a joke, husband. It's not like I purposefully snuck into Kili's bathroom just to sneak a peek."

"No…but you could have shut your eyes!" he argued.

"Now, now, my love, you know that no other dwarf could hold a candle to you! Besides, you would require a much bigger shield to cover your…umm… assets," Bergie assured him with a wink. "Why would I ever desire a pup, when I already have an alfa?" Her flattering words seemed to placate the bald warrior somewhat, but Bergie could tell that he would need further convincing when she made it back to their chambers later…not that she minded one bit.

"You still have not answered my question, Thorin," Marigold reminded him, beginning to suspect that her betrothed was somehow involved, due to the guilty look written across his face. "Might you have had something to do with all this, or is there another reason you have suddenly lost the ability to speak?"

"I…I..." Thorin stammered, suddenly afraid of looking rather childish in front of his betrothed. Oh, why had he not thought this through?

"That is what I thought," Marigold murmured disappointedly. She then marched over to him and gave him a very stern glare, shaking her slender finger in his face. "The next time you decide to pull some crazy, hare-brained stunt like this, Thorin Oakenshield…" she began, enjoying the way he flinched at her every word, "You better consider including me in all the fun!"

That had not been what he was expecting, and it took a full ten seconds before her words finally registered in his ears.

"You…you are not upset?" Thorin gasped, watching her face break out into a wide smile.

"Only over the fact that I was not clued in beforehand, and instead had to find out when the fun was almost over!" she giggled. "We hobbits love a good prank as much as the next race. In fact I could tell you a few stories that would curl the hair on your feet…I mean, if you had hair on your feet." Suddenly it occurred to Marigold that she had no idea if Thorin sported any hair on his legs, toes, or anywhere else below the beltline. She felt herself blush slightly as she thought about the day she would find out first hand. And as a warm and pleasant feeling invaded her lower stomach, she knew their wedding night could not come soon enough, as far as she was concerned.

"Well, I think we have all had our fill of excitement for the evening," Dis stated, breaking everyone out of their thoughts. "Bergie, Marigold, if you are not too traumatized by all this, how about we have that cup of tea we talked about. Sier has graciously agreed to join us, and I think we could all do with a break from foolish males." She then looked down at Flinn, putting her hands on her knees and bending over slightly to stare directly in his eyes. "Now don't you go getting any crazy ideas from all this, Nidayith. Your Uncle Thorin and Dwalin behaved very badly, and their little prank went horribly, horribly wrong."

"And I know why, N'ama Dis," Flinn assured her, placing his hands behind his back and looking up at her with all the innocence of a child.

"You do?" This surprised the older dam.

"Yes, they forgot to post a lookout," he explained. "You always need one of those when pulling a prank. Adad said so."

"He did, did he?" Dis now turned her glare upon her eldest son.

"Ummm, yah…will you look at the time," Fili stammered, placing his hands on Flinn's shoulders and steering him back towards their door. "I think it is way past your bed time, son."

"What? No it's not!" Flinn protested, digging in his heels.

"If you want your father to live long enough to greet the morning sun, it is!" Fili hissed, hoping his son would get the point.

Thankfully, Flinn was wise for his tender years, and he quickly took the hint.

"Oh, yes, I am very tired, Adad," he agreed, giving a rather fake sounding yawn. "I think I should go to bed right away…with say, two…no, three stories?"

"Three?" Fili gasped, recognizing blackmail when he heard it.

"Or…we could stay here and talk to N'ama Dis some more," he offered, not an ounce of guile in his voice.

"Three stories it is!" Fili quickly agreed, looking over his shoulder at his mother once more before quickly disappearing inside with his wicked little son.

It took only seconds before all four females were laughing uncontrollably, leaving Thorin and Dwalin to look on in confusion.

"Oh, Sier, how can you stand having such an adorable son?" Marigold asked between gasps for air.

"Sometimes it takes every ounce of self-control I possess not to burst out laughing, when I know I should be scolding him," Sier admitted, wiping at the tears that were running down her smiling cheeks.

"I know the feeling, my dear, believe me, I do," Dis assured her. "That was Fili and Kili all over, at that age. And to think…soon you will have two of them to wrangle as well."

"Well, I hope our little one turns out just like him," Bergie spoke up. "If I knew that was what I was getting, I would order a dozen." When the other three dams looked at her in shock, she quickly added. "Well, not all at the same time!"

It was then that Dis noticed the lost and confused expression on Thorin and Dwalin's faces.

"Come, ladies, I think it is time we leave these two troublemakers to reflect on their misdeeds," she suggested, gesturing to the door of her private chambers. "I believe a little time alone is just what they need to see the error of their ways. Good night, Thorin…Dwalin." And with that she gave an indignant sniff, and marched away - quickly followed by Sier, still snickering to herself. Bergie and Marigold, being much more forgiving, lingered only long enough to kiss both bewildered males on the cheek, before scurrying off after the two princesses.

.

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"Well…that did not go as planned," Thorin muttered when they were alone.

"No…there was a little glitch, you might say," Dwalin agreed.

"Again…your gift of understatement is astounding," Thorin grumbled, then threw his arm over his kinsman's shoulder. "However, I suppose something good did come out of all this."

"Oh? And what might that be?" Dwalin asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow at his king.

"We both got a kiss from our lasses," Thorin said with a big grin. "And at the end of the day…that is not bad at all."

"Agreed!" the bald warrior nodded. "Now, how about we go find us some ale? All of Kili's talk about drinking has made me thirsty."

"Lead on, my friend!" the king agreed wholeheartedly. "Lead on!"

Well...Kili finally got his coat. And BOY was he happy to get it. ha ha. I don't think he will ever take it off!

And what did you think of Thorin's little joke? Or how it kind of backfired on him.

Bergie was a little pistol, that was for sure. Marigold might have hidden her eyes, but not Bergie! Serves you right Dwalin for helping Thorin be mean to poor innocent little Kili.

Did you like Flinn and his bedtime story blackmail...I love it when he gets to use that line about how only Amas can see you naked. ha ha.

Hope you enjoyed your bonus chapter. Please send in a review and let me know what you thought. Thanks.

Guest Reviews:

dojoson41: Ha ha, do you really think Thorin would allow you to dress him as an elf? He would rather paint his body white and go as Azog! And hmmmm, your thoughts intrigue me. (wink wink) as for your rice idea...thanks for the thought, but I hope you like what I already did with the whole prank revenge thing. ha ha.

Emrfangirl: Oh man, I never thought of Fili giving Thorin 'the talk'...that would almost be as bad as Dis doing it. ha ha. Yes, they should all get together and draw straws and the one with the short straw going "NOOOOOOOO!" Bilbo's plan will come out soon enough. As for the prank revenge...how did you like it?

Feu d'Argent: I am glad my story is helping during your rough patch. Thorin is indeed wising up...about some things...and I too think Fili and Kili's brother relationship is so squishy! I just love them. I will indeed keep going...all the way to The End. And then who knows, maybe even more after that. ha ha. Thanks for the review!

abc: ha ha, Kili just got a bit of my attention...and half of Erebor's as well! But as for his love story, that will be the focus of my next part...after I finish with Thorin and Dwalin's love story with their hobbit lasses. Then Kili will get his turn. But I do try and make sure he is in there too. Bilbo is up to about 3 feet, or so I am told. ha ha. I agree, Marigold should know about the dangers...but Thorin is being stubborn!

enilorac44: I completely understand, but it is nice to have you back. I love me a good Fili/Sigrid story, but in this one, I just wanted him to get a dwarf girl. But it was fun to mention the potential match up, even in passing. I do worry about the biscuit situation in Erebor...Bergie might eat them all. You will just have to wait and see if Dis spills the beans about the dangers of taking a trip. Thanks for the review!