Dimitri

A Moroi nurse was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes again.

"You're feeling all right?" she asked. "What's your name?"

"Mm?" I asked groggily.

"Your name. I want to hear you say it."

"Dimitri Belikov."

As she took down my response, my memories suddenly came rushing back to me.

"Rose!" I sat bolt upright, then tried to push back the covers. "Rose!"

"Sit back, Guardian Belikov," the nurse ordered. "You're in no condition to go anywhere anytime soon."

"But Rose – "

"You have to rest," she commanded. "It's the only way you're going to recover from your wounds." She gestured to me, and it was then I realized that bandages were wrapped around various parts of my body. I must've sustained more injuries than I thought in the battle against the Strigoi.

"I need to get to Rose!"

"I can guarantee that you are not leaving this hospital wing," the nurse continued as if I hadn't spoken. "One, because there are guardians posted outside. And two…" She hesitated.

"What?" I demanded.

"Two, because Court is under lockdown."

~~Page Break~~

I learned later that my nurse's name was Svetlana. That wasn't the only thing I learned.

I wasn't, for instance, the only guardian in the hospital wing. In fact, the hospital wing was pretty full with injured guardians.

I learned also that after Alberta had punched me unconscious, I'd been carried into one of the guardians' vans, which had all peeled away, carrying wounded guardians, back to Court as fast as possible. There had been no pursuit by the Strigoi.

The Court was in an uproar. Conservatives were pointing to the large number of injured guardians as precisely why there could be no more strikes against the Strigoi. Lissa was facing more cries than ever to abdicate and hand over the throne to someone who could actually govern.

With so many recovering guardians, the Court was especially vulnerable. More guardians had been called in to help protect the stronghold of the Moroi nation.

None of that mattered to me. Because the one person who'd been taken was the one person I loved most in the world.

Rose was missing.

We'd abandoned her to her fate. I'd abandoned her. I hadn't been there when she'd needed me. I could never forgive myself.

I couldn't touch my food or drink. I couldn't interact with anyone. I couldn't do anything but stare at my blanket and hate myself. This was all my fault. I had failed her, in every sense of the word, failed her in just the way I promised her I never would. This was wholly and completely my doing.

This wasn't the Dimitri I'd grown up to be, the one I'd always strived to be. This was a broken man, one who'd lost his centre of gravity. Was this how Rose had felt, when I'd been turned Strigoi? This was agony, a constant agony beyond comprehension. I'd lost her.

And yet, I hadn't yet.

Just when I was at my lowest, a small voice spoke to me in my head.

Don't you remember what that Strigoi said? He's not going to turn her or kill her…yet.

Yet.

That one word was the reason why I went straight to Lissa's private chambers the moment I was released from the hospital ward.

As the guardian of Christian Ozera, boyfriend of the queen, I was permitted access to the queen's chambers, which were very well guarded, for obvious reasons. When I reached her bedroom, however, I found the bedroom door wide open.

Lissa was in her bedroom. It was decked out in exactly the way you would expect the queen of an ancient civilization to live – Old World grandeur, an impressively high ceiling, complete with a large king size poster bed with red, royal drapes. Lissa was sprawled on that bed. And she was crying.

Christian was with her, hugging her close to him. Sorrow was etched on his face, and he kept murmuring, "I'm so sorry, Lissa."

I knocked on the open door, and Lissa sat up, sniffling. She saw me, and attempted a watery smile. It almost worked. "Dimitri. Come in."

I did so, carefully. Lissa was careful around me, and trying not to burst into tears again. Her eyes were red with crying, her face marked with tear stains.

"Lissa," I said softly. Her lip wobbled, and she flung her arms around me and began to sob again. I closed my eyes, and allowed myself to do what I wouldn't in the hospital wing – I cried.

I don't know how long we sat there, Christian watching us, just crying and sharing our grief. Then Lissa sat back. "I'm sorry," she blubbered, trying to regain some semblance of composure. "I don't want you to think I've completely lost control. It's just…" And here she almost lost it again. "I don't know how I'm supposed to go on without her. And to imagine her as one of those – those things…" She almost broke down again. "She was my best friend. She was always, always there for me. She saved my life time and time again – and I couldn't save hers." She paused briefly to rub her eyes, then barreled on. "And I promised her I'd always be there for her. I promised we'd never be separated again…and then I sent her on this suicide mission…"

"Lissa," I said softly, "I want to tell you something."

She blinked back tears. "This is all my fault! I will never, never forgive myself…"

"Lissa!"

Lissa sat back, and looked at me. Her green eyes were surprisingly focused for someone who'd just been crying her heart out. "Yes?"

I told her what I'd heard the Strigoi say, that he wouldn't kill or awaken Rose just yet. Hope flared briefly in Lissa's eyes, only to go dull again. "Yes, but that just means she'll be killed or turned eventually."

"Yes," I conceded. "But, not if there's something I can do about it."

Lissa looked up at me.

"I want to go looking for Rose and save her before she's killed, or meets a fate worse than death," I told Lissa. "And I'm seeking your consent, Your Majesty."