FIENDS FROM THE PAST

Job 11: Crackling Caverns

"I will never understand how that fools anyone," says Carmelita, snickering, as Sly pulls off his uniform.

"Hey, I don't question how, as long as it does," he says. "You ready to head out?"

"Almost," she says, checking her shock pistol. Bentley wheels himself through the safe-house, tugging at the fur hat, which seems to be stuck to his head. She lowers her voice. "Keep an eye on him, would you? That ghost generator isn't exactly a safe place."

"I'll keep an eye on both of you," Sly murmurs back.

Carmelita rolls her eyes. "Like I can't take care of myself?"

"Well, you can," Sly says. "You just might need some extra help."

"Fear not, laddie." Slaigh knocks over the table when he stands up and claps Sly on the shoulder so hard he staggers. "I'll keep an eye on yon bonnie lass."

"I have no idea what you're saying," says Sly.

"He's saying he'll keep an eye on me. Which I won't need," says Carmelita, glaring at Slaigh. She turns her back and heads for the new exit with a scowl. "Come on, Slaigh. We've got some machinery to damage."

Carmelita doesn't hesitate, leaping out of the safe-house and landing on a nearby rooftop. From there she makes her way from one section of dry ground to another, not pausing for even a second, until she reaches the cliffs and slows enough that Slaigh can catch up to her, splashing and soaked through the fur. He shakes hard, water flying in all directions. "What is 'machinery', lass?"

"I'm not even going to try to explain it," Carmelita replies, leaping to the nearest platform. She lands without a wobble and looks for another spot. "Somewhere in that vampire crypt will be unnatural structures, and then if I can't figure out what to do with it we contact the others for help, and then we destroy every last speck of it until Mizz Ruby's water system stops flowing."

Slaigh beats her to the entrance of the vampire cave and snorts. "You and Sli. Don't have a clue where to begin looking—"

"The place where you blew up the vampire crypts seems like a nice start," Carmelita snaps. "If it's not there, it'll be nearby, where they could keep an eye on it."

Slaigh stops, his jaw dropping, then starts up again, "Oh, aye, but you narry have a clue of what to do with it—"

"I may not be as brilliant as Bentley is, but I've operated hundreds of computers and other pieces of technology during my career at Interpol, and infiltrated enough criminal lairs to be able to work most pieces of technology." Carmelita glares at him, hand on her hip. "And before you start any of that 'you must need a man to show you how to destroy it' or some such nonsense, you're only along because I need a guide." She turns her back and starts into the cave. "But if you're going to be such a baby about it, then I can do without you."

She's actually made it to the first intersection before Slaigh catches up and takes the lead. The walk through the tunnels is quiet, with Slaigh getting halfway through a sentence and cutting himself off, and Carmelita ignoring his every effort. There are no guards, no traps. No nothing. Just the sound of footsteps on stone and Slaigh occasionally muttering under his breath, glancing at Carmelita, and looking away.

When they reach the remains of the vampire crypt, Carmelita lengthens her stride and moves past Slaigh. "Remember, Carm, you're looking for a gear," Sly murmurs in her ear. "Once you find it, turn it three times counterclockwise."

"I was listening in when that unicorn told you what to do, Sly," says Carmelita, looking through the debris. She glances back at Slaigh and points to a large stone column that fell over near the crypt's center. "Could you lift this?"

"O'course, lassie," says Slaigh.

"That's inspector," snaps Carmelita.

Slaigh hoists the heavy stone column and holds it while Carmelita searches beneath. There. "Inspector, is it? And what sort o' title is that for a girl? A modern day 'miss'?"

"No," says Carmelita, twisting the gear. The floor rumbles as she straightens and a staircase forms, leading further down. "It's a title for a high-ranking law enforcement officer."

"Yer what?" Slaigh demands.

"You heard me. Now come on."

Slaigh does indeed follow her down the staircase. The large area below is a mix of the modern-day and past. Clear walls, made of something bulletproof at the very least (Carmelita tries) cordon off a zig-zag route down a long, wide room of death. At the far end of it sits a generator, seawater coming into tubes from the bottom and being pumped out the top, machinery whirring; the whole thing is both obviously strong and very susceptible to electricity.

To reach it, the two of them will have to get past some more... ancient traps. You know. Swinging axes. Spikes in the floor. Something that may be a much more lethal version of a barbed-wire fence. Old stuff.

"Ach, this is an easy jaunt," says Slaigh, strolling past her for once, then glancing back over his shoulder. "Are ye coming?"

"In a moment," Carmelita says.

Slaigh crosses his arms and ponders her a moment. "If ye're a lawman—lawwoman, or whatnot—then how did you get together with Sli? I mean, sure, several o' the Coopers have been knights and whatnot, but tryin' ta see Sli doin' that is like tryin' ta use wolves ta make wool."

Carmelita snorts. "I was assigned to his case for years, chasing after him, being flirted with. He faked amnesia for a chance to date me, and is on the force now, for that matter. He's not a bad cop."

"Oh?"

"He's a good cop, in fact," Carmelita says, her voice quieter. "And here we are, catching criminals together. But I'm better."

Slaigh laughs; it bounces off the walls and almost seems to echo. "And he's a better thief, innit he, and you're lookin' at this goin how in the blue blazes are ya sposed to get through there?"

Seeing Carmelita blush is interesting; the fur on her face darkens a little, but otherwise she stays unchanged. "I'm certain I can figure it out."

Slaigh chuckles. "But we have ta hurry; innit that what Bintley's always carryin on about?" He turns his back to her and kneels. "Climb aboard."

"What?"

"Climb. Aboard." Slaigh doesn't hesitate. "I'll get the two o'us through this sure as water through rocks and ye can put your specialty elsewhere."

"I don't need to be carried."

"Who said a blasted thing about need?" Slaigh looks at her over his shoulder. "Ain't I here ta be your guide? Well, climb on and let me guide!"

There's a few moments of silence, neither of them moving, before Carmelita speaks again. "Not a word of this to Sly."

"Och, a'course not."

"Or Bentley and Murray."

"Not on me life."

"Or anyone."

"Swear it on me mam's grave. Now get on!"

And Carmelita gets on. Didn't think that would happen.

Play switches to Slaigh as he stands up. Ax-dodging and avoiding stepping on spiked floors is familiar to players from Sly 2. The conversation, as Carmelita says she felt the wind from that ax and Slaigh tells her she worries too much, as Slaigh laughs and dances between spikes for a while until Carmelita pinches one of his ears and threatens to cut it off if he doesn't stop it, as Slaigh advises Carmelita to keep her head down while he crawls under some things and Carmelita speaks half-heard mumbles that may be death threats, is new.

But they reach the far side without any real problems, and Carmelita takes the generator out with a dozen very nice shots. As soon as it stops, the traps flicker and die, the physical ones falling to pieces, and the glass wall-things vanishing.

JOB COMPLETE

Carmelita poses with her gun, only to have Slaigh pick her up and hoist her in the air one-handed, so she's posing in mid-air while standing on his hand.

Author's Notes:

Due to my complete inability to wait, and some lingering guilt at the whole 'fake heist' thing earlier, I'll post a second update this week (slideshow) either Thursday or Friday, and we can get to the heist on Tuesday.