Chapter 18 May I have the next dance?
"Fanny, I am quite determined to hold a ball in your honour!" Sir Thomas said a week after he had come back from London. Maria and Julia had stayed with some trusted friends in town. They wished to enjoy the season a bit longer, and Sir Thomas had allowed them, as he knew the people where they stayed well. Edmund would come back in the next few days and would soon after that take up his role as the vicar of Thornton Lacey.
"Whatever for, Sir Thomas?" Mrs Norris asked. "I am sure when your daughters return she might go with them to a ball in the area and that will be good enough for her. It's not good for her to be spoiled with a ball in her honour."
"Mrs Norris," again Sir Thomas had to raise his voice against her. "Fanny will have her own ball and that is final!"
Mrs Norris turned away, muttering under her breath about 'station in life' and 'that girl always gets what she wants'.
Fanny herself did not think the ball necessary. The idea of being in the centre of attention was rather frightening to her, although she did like to dance.
But her uncle could not be persuaded otherwise. Invitations were sent and the house was prepared, so that a week later the ball could be held.
When Mary visited her next, she was ecstatic. "I so love to dance! Besides, it is time for some more excitement, for it has been rather dull these past weeks. I am very much looking forward to your ball! Have you chosen your gown yet?"
The next days, Mary helped her with choosing and embellishing the chosen gown. Fanny had protested and had said she did not think it needed alteration. However, when they finished, Fanny had to admit it looked well.
"Now you need a necklace to complete your outfit," Mary said.
"There's no need…" Fanny replied, but Mary ignored her comment. They walked to the parsonage and Mary took her upstairs.
There she showed Fanny a box with necklaces. "Let me see…" She rummaged through the box, took some necklaces out to have a closer look. In the end she kept three apart. "Now, which one do you like best?"
Fanny looked at her. "Are you lending it to me? But do you not want to wear it?"
Mary laughed. "You may choose one and keep it. I have plenty and I think it would suit you better. I have already chosen what I will wear with my own gown."
Fanny looked at the necklaces and tried to determine when looking, how Mary seemed to feel about them. She did not want to choose a favourite. Mary saw her looking. "Truly, you choose. I don't mind. I think all of them would go well with your dress."
When Fanny had chosen one – it was truly beautiful – Mary nodded at her choice. "That is an excellent choice!" She looked as if she wanted to say more, but closed her mouth again.
"Are you sure?" Fanny asked again. "Yes. If you like it, you may have it."
"Thank you, Mary!" Fanny smiled. "That is truly generous!"
"Don't mention it," laughed her friend.
Just before Fanny left to go back to Mansfield Park, Mary said that her brother was planning to arrive in time for the ball.
Fanny couldn't hide a blush. Mr Crawford would be back!
On her way home, she couldn't stop thinking about it. She wondered if he had changed; if he had managed to forget her. How would he react when he was back?
She had to admit that part of her looked forward to his return. But she was equally apprehensive. It would no doubt be awkward and painful as well.
She had already been nervous about the ball, but the knowledge of Mr Crawford being there, made her even more nervous. Would he want to dance with her? Would she want him to?
Fortunately, there was plenty to do when she came home, to serve as a distraction. When the day was finally there and the time came to dress, Sarah helped her. In the past months, Sarah had almost become her personal maid. In the past she never had a maid and would do most things herself. Now Sarah had become some sort of a friend. She was a clever, kind girl, with a happy disposition. And she was very good with doing hair.
After Fanny had put on her gown – and it truly looked beautiful – Sarah did her hair in an intricate way. Fanny felt like royalty when she saw herself in the mirror.
A knock sounded on the door.
"It's me, Edmund. Can I come in?"
"Yes, come in. My hair is nearly finished."
The door opened and Edmund came in. "Are you ready for your special evening?" He asked.
Fanny smiled. "I think so. I am a bit nervous though."
"All will be well, I dare say."
Sarah finished her hair and Fanny stood up.
"Fanny! You look stunning!" Fanny blushed and looked down.
"Truly Fanny! You will be the belle of the ball." Then he laughed. "I know one person who will not be able to keep his eyes off of you."
"Edmund!" Now Fanny blushed furiously.
"Sorry Fanny, I will stop teasing you. But I know it is the truth. He is coming, is he not? But, I came here to give you something." He opened his hand and showed her a beautiful necklace. "I remember that William sent you a cross for your birthday last year. Maybe it would fit with this?"
"It is beautiful, Edmund! Thank you so much!" Then she continued: "I think it will fit. I had not found anything suitable yet to go with the cross." They tried and the cross fitted very well on the chain.
"Now I have two to wear," she said. "Mary let me choose one of hers yesterday."
"Mary? How extraordinary, that we had the same idea!" He had a dreamy look, which then turned sad. "What is the matter, cousin?" Fanny asked.
He sighed. "I asked her to dance the first two with me. She told me this would be the last time she would dance with me. When I asked why, she said she does not dance with clergymen. And since that is what I soon will be, she says that she will not dance with me anymore after this day." He sighed deeply.
"It pains me that she is still so disparaging of my profession! I've tried to talk about it various times, but she just changes the subject."
"Edmund, her upbringing was so different. I think it takes a long time to lose some things that one learned in the past. I do think she has changed since she first came here. You are a good influence to her. Just give it time."
Edmund seemed to brighten up. "Thank you Fanny! That is sound advice!"
She smiled at him. "Try to forget your problems today and just enjoy the evening. I do hope for you that something will change in the future. She told me she could have gone to London with her brother, but she chose to stay here, which I believe says a lot in your favour."
"Speaking of which, shall we go downstairs? Let's see which guests have arrived."
Fanny felt nervous again all of a sudden. She knew Mr Crawford would be there. How would it be to see him after the time he was away?
Edmund took her arm and together they walked downstairs. In the hall Sir Thomas, Lady Bertram and Mrs Norris were already waiting. A gasp came from Sir Thomas.
"Fanny, you look absolutely beautiful tonight!" She blushed as he came towards her and kissed her hand. "It will be a privilege to be seen tonight with my very handsome niece."
Fanny did not know what to say. Her aunt Bertram also made a compliment. Fanny caught a look of anger and jealousy from Mrs Norris, who then walked off without a word.
Guests started arriving and once more, Fanny felt very shy. There were many people who she didn't know.
Then Mr and Miss Crawford arrived.
"Ah, Fanny, your dress looks fabulous on you!" exclaimed Mary. She gave her a half-hug.
"You look very lovely yourself, Mary," was Fanny's shy reply. Then Mary went on to greet Edmund and his parents and Fanny caught Mr Crawford's eyes. He stared at her with open admiration. She looked down, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze.
"Miss Price, you are gorgeous!" He took her hand and kissed it. "How good to see you again," he continued.
"Welcome back, Mr Crawford," she managed to say. He smiled. "I am glad you approve of my return." She blushed, but did not reply.
"Now, I see it is already getting busy, so I will have to be quick. I dare say you will not be without a dance partner all night. If you wish to, would you allow me a dance with you?"
She nodded. "Thank you, yes. Edmund has asked me for the second. His first two are with your sister."
"And who is opening the ball with you?" Fanny coloured again. "I do not know. I think my uncle." Sir Thomas heard this. "If you wish to dance the first with Mr Crawford, then please do! As long as you allow me a place on your dance-card as well." Fanny gave him her card and he filled in his name for the third.
"And may I have the opening dance then, Miss Price?" Mr Crawford asked with a laugh, although Fanny could see he might be a bit nervous about her answer.
She smiled at him. "You may, Mr Crawford," and curtsied. The resulting smile took over his whole face and Fanny thought it looked very endearing.
There were now other guests to greet and soon many spaces on her dance-card were filled.
Then Sir Thomas opened the evening by welcoming them all to Mansfield Park and told the evening was in honour of his niece's coming out.
Fanny blushed when people applauded.
Then music started to play and couples were formed.
Mr Crawford came, took her hand and leaded her towards the dance floor.
The dance was everything Fanny could wish for. It felt so natural to be dancing with Mr Crawford. He was very good at it and she felt as if she had never done anything else. All of her attention was focused on the man opposite her and his was on her. They did not speak much and if they did it was no deep conversation. But their eyes conveyed much more and Fanny felt like she was floating on air.
Too fast the first two were done.
Mr Crawford smiled at her. "You are a very good dancer, Miss Price."
She coloured. "So are you, sir. Thank you for this dance."
After the short interval, Edmund came and claimed her for the next dance.
"You looked well together, Fanny!" He said. "Did you enjoy the dance?" Fanny ignored the first part of what he said, for she did not know what to say to that. "Yes, I did enjoy the dance. It went so fast! And how was your dance with Mary?"
"I think it went well," he said. "She did not mention her earlier comment and I did not want to talk about it. Instead we had other things to speak about." When they came back together in the dance, he said: "There are quite a few people looking at you. You will not want for a partner tonight!"
"No, my card is nearly full I believe."
Fanny enjoyed their dance and soon more dances with others followed. Fanny noticed there were various types of men wanting to dance with her. Some were genuine in their interest. Others only saw her beauty in the same sort of way as Mr Nicholson and Mr Rushworth had. These dances felt particularly long. During one of those dances Mr Crawford stood next to them with his dance partner. He nodded a few times encouragingly to her. They even managed to exchange a few words. It helped Fanny to feel strong and determined again. For the rest of the dance she managed to counteract any unwanted attention from her partner. The man therefore hastily walked off after the dance was finished.
Fanny sat out the next dance. She felt a little fatigued from the unusual exercise. Mr Crawford came and sat next to her. "Are you resting a little?" She nodded.
"Would you like some drink?" he then asked. She smiled. "Yes please."
Soon he was back and they talked. "Are you not dancing this one, Mr Crawford?" Here she saw him actually blushing. "I have decided to skip this one. The next one is the supper set. With whom are you dancing it?"
Fanny looked on her card.
"Ah it's still empty."
He now seemed to blush even more. "I will not ask if you do not deem it appropriate…"
She saw he looked a bit uncertain. She understood what he was saying. Dancing two sets with someone meant as much as admitting to a courtship. Would she want that? Her feelings had already changed a little towards him. And the dance with him had been amazing.
She blushed when she answered: "I believe you may ask." Then she looked away, suddenly a bit bashful at her forwardness. But when she turned back to him, his face was beaming. "Miss Price, may I dance the supper set with you?"
She smiled: "Yes you may."
They talked of other things. When the previous dance was ending, Mr Crawford suddenly said: "Your aunt does not look happy." Fanny followed his indication and got such a foul look from Mrs Norris, that she immediately turned away.
"She does not like this ball. When my uncle talked about organising it for me, she said it would be too much honour for me and that I did not deserve it. But my uncle went through with it and ignored what she said."
"Ah," Mr Crawford said. "So she does not have as much influence on him as you thought."
Fanny understood what he meant. She had been afraid for her aunt's influence on a decision that Sir Thomas would make if Mr Crawford had asked permission to marry her.
"No, apparently not," she only said.
Shortly after, he stood up, extended his hand and helped her up. They walked back to the dance floor where other couples started to line up for the next dance. Once more she stood opposite him. Before the dance started, something behind him caught her eyes. First she saw Mrs Norris stand up and look full of hatred towards herself. Her aunt truly seemed very upset. The next moment, Mrs Norris sat down again and grabbed her head. She sat like that for a moment and then stopped a passing footman, who helped her up and they walked away.
"How strange," she said to Mr Crawford. "My aunt suddenly seems unwell. I wonder what happened."
"What indeed?" he said, just before the dance began.
This dance seemed even better than the first, Henry thought.
He felt as happy as he had not felt in a long time. His first dance with Fanny had been divine. They seemed well matched in the dance. Despite being a rather reticent girl, she seemed to enjoy dancing and was quite proficient at it. After that, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off her. She was the most beautiful lady in the room and he lived for her smiles in his direction. Even if they were both dancing with someone else, their eyes would frequently meet.
Something had changed, it seemed. Her feeling towards him appeared different. Maybe she had missed him as much as he had her when he was away.
From the vile looks her aunt sent her way all through the evening, Henry deducted that Mrs Norris was far from happy with her niece enjoying her ball. He still did not understand what the woman's problem was.
His attention went back to Fanny. His second dance with her! She had basically agreed to a courtship! He felt so happy he could barely contain it. It was probably visible to all the room, but he could not care very much about that.
As with the first dance, they did not speak much, with words that is. His attention was on her and only her. A permanent blush was visible on her face, but she did not look away.
For the duration of the dance it felt as if they were they only people in the room.
During supper they sat near Edmund and Mary. Both of them looked at Henry and Fanny with great curiosity. Fanny just blushed and looked down to her plate. Soon they were talking about the evening.
"Edmund, I don't know what happened, but aunt Norris suddenly seemed unwell, just before that last dance," Fanny said.
"Ah yes, I think my father said something about that. He had the carriage called to bring her home. I think she said she had a headache. But do not worry about it. She will be fine soon enough, I dare say."
After supper, Fanny looked rather tired.
"Are you well?" Henry asked, when they stood up.
"Just a little fatigued," she said. "This is quite late for me you know," she smiled.
"Well, the dancing won't cease for quite a while," said Edmund, who heard what they said. "If you think you should go to sleep, Fanny, I will excuse you with my father."
She nodded. "I think I should do that. I have greatly enjoyed this evening, but now I need to rest."
Henry looked at her. He was a bit disappointed that she would leave, but he saw that she really needed her rest.
"I will go and tell my father. Good night Fanny," Edmund said.
"Good night, Miss Price," Henry took her hand and kissed it. "Thank you for our dances. I greatly enjoyed them!"
She smiled up at him. "Thank you, sir. And goodnight."
He stared after her until she had left the room.
It already seemed much emptier. He wished he could go home now.
"What are you staring at, brother?" Mary said next to him. She eyed him suspiciously.
He just smiled.
"So, you danced two sets with her, one of which the supper set! A step forward, I dare say. But, if this is her first ball, she might not know what it implies."
"She knows. And even though this was her first official ball, she dances as if she's done many in her life. Don't you think she is very skilled at it?"
Mary now laughed. "Speaks a man deeply in love. But she is quite good. You two match really well."
"I believe your partner for the next set is coming this way," he replied. "Oh, and, please leave her alone on the subject, will you?"
I am sorry for having skipped yesterday. That was a little bit of fluff this chapter. :-) Oh, about Mrs N. I am trying to write an accompanying piece for this story about her/ from her pov. I will post it when I've finished writing it. I am deliberating to weave it through this main story, but I will decide after I've finished writing both stories.