Thank you, YosoSan, for your support and your permission to use your OC! I promise I'll try to make it work the best way possible. Also, who said that having twins won't guarantee more children than that? Buuut, let's allow Maiko a couple of months first, and then some more to give birth, and we'll deal with the baby making machine that is Takao after that ;)
People, go read YosoSan's Opposites Attract story, btw. It's somewhat of a prequel for Takao Kazunari and his precious Mai-chan. It also explains the mysterious character you'll see in Midorima's head in the next chapter, as well as some of his mannerisms. Actually, you know what? Go read all her KnB stories, period. They're nothing short of awesome!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own KnB! I do own, though, a healthy dose - or so I like to think - of imagination concerning its characters, and I regret none of that!
MAIKO AND TAKAO ARE UP IN THE PROFILE DESCRIPTION, BTW, SO GO TO MY PROFILE TO CHECK THEM OUT IF YOU WISH!
Punched. The most famous ex-model of Japan, punched in the face. And by his flatmate, nonetheless! Oh, Kazuya thought he was going to be sick!
He hesitantly raised his eyes to the males crouched over Kise's unconscious form, and his face considerably paled. Fuck!
The tallest of them scowled at the - pretty much - undressed state of the woman who had assaulted the blonde. Recognition flared in his eyes, but his scowl remained in place "Hayashi, I knew you are a sick bitch who is fucked up in the head, but I never thought I would see you taking it to a whole new level. Care to explain why I shouldn't slap assault and indecent exposure on you? What the fuck are you wearing, anyway?"
The woman in question boredly cocked her hips to the left, placing a hand on them and scratching her ear with the other "Officer Aomine, do you kiss your wife with that mouth?"
Kazuya's stomach was tied in knots. The stupid idiot was sassing a policeman! He started mentally counting his money to see if he would be able to bail her out of jail later tonight.
To his surprise, though, the tan brute grinned "Fuck you, bitch. My woman likes my mouth just fine."
She raised her hands in mock disgust "Too much info there for me, officer..."
Aomine's grin faded only a little. It wasn't like they were friends or anything. She could remember his name only because he was the one catching her in weird acts, places, clothes and hours 90 % of the time - he would hold her in custody for a couple of hours every time, locked up in a cell, and then he would let her go, with no criminal record. After the first ten times, he had come to understand she was doing it all for inspiration, so he let her be with just those few measly hours in lock up. "Seriously, though, what are you wearing?"
For the second time that night, she blinked and looked at her dress. The way she forgot about crucial details as this never ceased to amaze the blonde photographer. "Oh, this. I'm a hooker. Got raped a couple of times, then killed brutally", she shrugged. "The usual stuff."
Kasamatsu choked on his own spit, while Kazuya sighed and Aomine with Takao burst in laughter - which effectively managed to wake Kise up, who groaned at the pain while carefully trying to stand up, all the while blinking. Once his vision cleared, he did a double-take, and nearly pounced on the writer with little stars in his eyes "You... You're Hayashi Junko! Oh, wow, I can't believe it! I'm a big fan of yours, Hayashi-san! A big fan!"
Junko scowled, trying in vain to pry her hands out of the enthusiastic male's ones, his cocoa butter and lavender smell making her wrinkle her nose from the sweetness "Yeah, look, I'm not exactly the person you of all people should come that close to - "
"Will you please sign my book? I have one of your classics, Horseman on Fire, in my car. Pretty please?"
"Listen, pal - "
"Oh, please, none of this now, you can call me by my name, I call you by yours, right? It's Kise, Kise Ryota. The kanji in the last name is for yellow, please don't forget that when you sign my autograph, OK?"
Her scowl dropped at his words, and she seemed almost... confused? She quickly regained her usual "captain obvious" stare, and turned to her flatmate, pointing at her "big fan". "Oi, Kazu... This is not Kasamatsu. I punched the wrong guy."
"Gee, you think?!", Kazuya scolded her. "Do you have any idea who this guy is?!"
"Duh...", she rolled her eyes. "He just introduced himself, duffus..."
He facepalmed, and gestured to the pilot "This is Kise Ryota, ex-teen model and one of the most famous icons of Japan". He waited for any sign of recognition, and when he saw none, he remembered he was talking to a woman who pretty much gave fashion as much credit as she did romance - none. Figures. Trust Junko to be buried under tons of books instead of teen magazines even during puberty. "Never mind", he sighed. "Point is, you assaulted a guy who looks nothing like your initial target in the first place. How many times do I have to tell you? Think, don't hit. Jesus, and you're supposed to be a master of words...". He pointed, albeit reluctantly - as he still didn't want anyone to get hurt - , at the composer "This is Kasamatsu-san. How you managed to confuse our neighbor to a teen idol is beyond me...". He bowed in apology to the ex-model "My deepest apologies for dragging you in all this, Ryo-san".
The bluenette blinked "Wait... You know him?"
"I am a photographer, Jun", Kazuya reminded her with a disapproving stare. "I did some shoots with him when I was still a beginner and he was near the end of his modeling career."
"He was actually the one who inspired me to become a pilot", Kise grinned despite the pain in his jaw, approaching the other blonde and patting him on the shoulder. "We had a long talk one evening, over cold milk rice porridge, about dreams and such, and I realized I had to follow my calling. Who would have thought you would be living with my favorite writer and next to senpai here? Such a small world it is, the one we live in. Oh, hey, how is Miyamoto-san? [1] Still as fierce as ever?"
At this, Kazuya's face fell. Kise didn't miss it "Koizumicchi?"
The writer bristled at the sight of a depressed Kazuya for the second time at the same night, and icily turned to the rest of the men. Two of them, she knew. She guessed the gruff black head, the only other one she didn't immediately recognize, was the one she was looking for. Pinning him with her infamous "Ice Queen" glare, she pointed a single, well-manicured nail in his direction "Why don't you ask him? He was the one who opened his damn mouth to the maniac."
"Hey!", Kasamatsu finally found the guts to defend himself. "If you don't want others to know about your adultery routine, then don't fuck Koizumi so loudly every night!"
He had never talked to a woman like that, and he bet that, had his mother been present, she would have boxed his ears for his manners. But this woman was getting on his rather delicate - at the moment - nerves, and her attitude really called for hostility.
Everyone looked at him funny. Why the hell were they staring? What was it that made his words so weird to them anyway?!
"Jun-chan...", Takao carefully chose his words, "aren't you... in a sexual moratorium of sorts?"
Junko snorted, her amber gaze turning to the editor "Apparently, and against my personal knowledge, not anymore. According to this dickhead, Kazu is now my sex toy or something."
Kise turned blinking, confused eyes to said male "Aren't you... gay, Koizumicchi?"
Kazuya nodded and added "And Kasamatsu-san told his theory in front of Kin-chan. He... didn't take it so well..."
"Nawwww, you think?!", Junko growled, her natural low tone making the sound - once again - scary. "He tore my damn book to pieces to show me who's the top bitch in town!"
"Wait...", Kasamatsu finally caught up. "You two... are not together?"
"What part of chick in sexual moratorium living with a gay guy didn't you get?!", both flatmates snapped at him now, glaring - it was, he had to admit, intimidating, coming from a usually indifferent woman and a kind, always smiling man.
"TIME OUT, PEOPLE!", a deep, baritone voice roared, bringing silence to the apartment.
They all looked at Aomine, just in time to see him receive a few yen notes from Takao. It was common for people in Kasamatsu's group to pay Aomine - or Kagami, when he was present - to shout like that, when one wanted to stop an argument in order to speak an didn't have the privilege - or power - of such deep vocal chords.
The publisher cleared his throat and looked Junko straight in the eyes. For the first time tonight, he was serious, and that made the writer want to straighten her relaxed stance, but she resisted. She didn't avert her gaze, though.
"Hayashi", he said in a calm tone that usually - when mixed with her last name as it was now - meant she was in trouble, "what did you just say about the book?"
The woman didn't answer at first. She knew the man, of course she did. After all, Takao Kazunari had been the only publisher tolerant enough to take her charismatic - yet eccentric and antisocial - ass under his wing. And boy, had she made some serious money thanks to him. Not to mention his wife who always helped her go through costumes for her inspiration to hit. Deciding the man deserved to know, as he expected this book on his desk in less than a month, she explained "Kazu's bitch thought I was fucking him, courtesy of douchebag over there, and went all caveman on Gateway to Hell - pay attention to the title, cause you'll never hear it again. I'm not rewriting the damn thing, and if you think you can order me to, you'd better fire me now."
All color drained from his face, as he took trembling steps back and all but fell on a chair "I had announced the release before the end of next month... I had a press statement scheduled this week... What am I gonna tell them?!"
"Oh, you didn't hear the best of it", Junko grinned in a way that reminded to all the ex-basketball players of a certain redhead. "See this?", she gestured at her outfit. "Say hello to Tagawa Hikaru, also known as Roxie, head bitch at Madame Cherrykiss's House of Pleasure, victim of... Lieutenant Suzuki."
Takao paled even more "Don't tell me... It can't be..."
"Oh, but it can", she nodded, crossing her arms. "In fact, the needle-wielding maniac ripped the paper right when Suzuki had Aki cornered in the police station."
"I told you not to call Kin-chan - ", Kazuya started his scolding, only to be interrupted by the publisher, who jumped from his chair and wrapped his hands around her shoulders in no time, his pine-scented cologne invading her nostrils.
"Jun-chan, you can't do this to me! This is a major twist in the Detective Aki series, the readers have been waiting for this for ages! Isn't there some way you can put it back together? Like, I don't know, glue or something?"
She blinked at his panicked face, and calmly removed his hands. Turning on her heels, she exited the apartment, returning a minute later with her arms full of paper shreds. Unceremoniously, she dumped the pile in his arms, smiling sweetly - it was safe to say, the look didn't suit her at all "Be my guest, boss. You'd better start gluing, I don't have much time left till my deadline."
He stared at the scraps of paper. That was it, he was doomed! They were beyond the state of fixing, even he knew it. How the hell was he going to explain this to the public? What could he possibly say?
Oh, I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but Hayashi-san's neighbor - who also happens to be a close friend of mine - couldn't sleep because her flatmate and his boyfriend were too loud while fucking, so he made a huge misunderstanding that resulted in said boyfriend throwing a jealous fit and ripping the book she was working on in pieces. Buuut, that's life, don't you agree?
Yeah... NO! They would have his head on a silver platter before he even finished that speech!
"What on earth is going on here?", a male voice made them all turn to the door, where a tired-looking man wearing glasses and holding - wait, was that an antique hand mirror?! - was standing. "Why is there a stripper in your apartment, Kasamatsu, and why is the door wide open? If this is another scheme of yours, Takao, I feel responsible to inform you that I'm not interested."
Said "stripper" did a double-take at the sight before her. The man was tall, taller than Officer Aomine, with soft-looking green hair, and matching serious eyes behind a pair of strict-looking glasses. He had the same physique that Kise, Kasamatsu, Aomine and her boss had - were they all members of some gentlemans' sports club or something? - and his ivory, clean-as-hell suit and shirt were somewhat ridiculed by his mango-colored tie and the mirror he was holding.
Gears started turning in her mind, and she nearly wept at the muse in front of her very eyes. Halle-fucking-lujah!
"You... You're so... PERFECT!", she squealed in delight, grabbing him by his jacket's lapels and lowering him to her level. The man looked dumbstruck at her action, and somewhat disturbed at her close proximity, but she went on unfazed "I could kiss you right now! Hot damn, it's coming back! By God, it's coming back!". Letting him go, she pushed him aside, rushing out of the apartment, all the while murmuring in glee "Oh, you and I will have so much fun! I'll make you into the most terrifying bastard yet! So many people to kill, so much blood! I'm so turned on right now!"
The males left behind were staring at the doorway in disbelief. No one even commented on the fact that she had stepped over another, shorter guy with pale skin and matching aqua hair and eyes that had come inside with the green-haired megane. At least, not until he spoke up "What was that about?"
Kazuya shrieked at the sudden sound of a monotone, quiet voice and the guy who had popped out of nowhere "What the... ?! Who are you?!"
A hand clasped his shoulder to calm him down, and he turned to find a - once again - grinning Takao "Not to worry, Kazu-chan. This here is Kuroko Tetsuya, a friend of ours. He's a little... difficult to spot at first glance, I'm afraid."
The photographer frowned "Are you sure you should be smiling right now? What about Jun's torn book?"
He waved the matter aside "Oh, come now, I'm sure she'll come up with something. I'll try to hold the public off for a while, in any case. That's my job, after all. Besides, didn't you see her running after she took a close look at Shin-chan? I believe my little eccentric flower is off to make me more money with the new psychopath she has in mind. And all because our dear Dr. Midorima inspired her! Who would have thought, eh?". He patted Kazuya's back, heading for the door "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go let Mai-chan surprise me with her pregnancy."
The publisher was smiling as he said that, but his smile melted away and he froze in place once he took a good look at the doorway. A petite woman was standing there, thin arms crossed tightly over a small handful of breasts, a foot clad in a leather heeled boot tapping on the floor with obvious anger. Her pale skin was flustered from her wrath, and her adorable facial features seemed even cuter, set in a scowl like this. Her livid hair were free of her usual childish ribbon, and her amethyst eyes were narrowed in a terrifying glare. A tight, black leather dominatrix outfit covered at least her female parts, though it stretched on her like second skin.
All the men in the room cautiously backed away. This was no Junko in her busty, full form, but the little female with the generous hips was equally scary - if not scarier. The only one who apparently never got the memo of that, was the stupidly grinning black head in front of her, - either that, or he was a masochist. "So... CUTE!", he squealed, pouncing to embrace her, only to get a kick in the balls, and double over whimpering.
The rest of the guys winced and groaned in sympathy, but the woman wasn't done yet. As Takao's head was now closer to her height, she grabbed a fistful of his hair, and started dragging him out, hissing "This time you've gone too far, Takao Kazunari! You're late, you ruined my surprise, and you dare call me cute when I've done my best to look sexy and womanly and dominating! See if that gets you laid for the next month!". Before the elevator closed behind the Takaos, her last words were directed to their best man "And you, Shintaro, you freaking snitch, had better have two bucket loads of black raspberry ice cream the next time you want to step foot into my house!"
The horoscope-obsessed doctor could only shiver at this...
[1] Notice how Kise doesn't call Kintarou the way he calls most people he respects? Coincidence? I think not! It's his own subtle way to show his opinion on the male diva ;)
Well, people, that's it till I come back from Zakynthos! See ya after the end of the month!
Oh! One more thing! If you like Shingeki no Kyojin's Levi, there's a writer called Fallaby Z who's started the best ever LeviXOC fanfic of this site, and it rocks! Quirky and packed with humor, action, and slow-building romance, it also keeps Levi in-character. Go check it out, people!