"I'm really hoping that one of us is a match, honey," Erin said as they drove home later that afternoon. "I know that you really should have gone with the team on this case, but…I'm also selfishly glad that you stayed here with me, with us. I don't know what I'd do without you."

He turned his head to look at her a little. There were fine lines of worry around her eyes, and he longed to be able to smooth them away. Knowing that wasn't possible in a moving car, he instead reached out and patted her shoulder gently. "You would somehow make it through, and land on your feet. You always manage to do that somehow."

"Only because I've had you by my side for so long." She gave him a tired smile and he smiled in return before returning his focus to the road. "I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to sleep on the way home, too."

"That is perfectly okay, Erin. You're safe here."

She gave a small nod before curling up in the seat and letting her eyes close. Dave drove the rest of the way home, mulling over what he had learned that afternoon. It was obvious that the acrimony between Erin and Alan hadn't faded, despite them being separated for more than a year at that point. It was almost as if he was holding onto some hurt from the past that neither of them knew about and was lashing out at them as a result.

A part of him wondered if Alan had somehow found out about the affair that he and Erin had carried out beneath his nose for so many years, but that was ridiculous. They had both covered their tracks quite well, and Erin insisted that Alan had never picked up on things being off between them. Letting out a deep sigh, he reached over and stroked her hair gently before refocusing on the road and finishing the trek home.

Pulling into the garage, Dave turned the car off and then turned so that he could watch her sleeping. Without thinking, he reached out and shook her shoulder, wanting to let her know that they were home. Erin came to with a start, curling up in a tight ball as she physically wrenched herself away from his touch. "Erin?" he asked quietly, and she looked up at him, giving him a fearful look that was quickly swallowed by a tight smile.

"Sorry, I think that Alan got in my head again this afternoon, and I reacted accordingly."

He frowned as they got out of the car, and as he approached the door, he thought about how Erin had shuddered when it appeared that Alan was going to come close to them, and it filled him with a bit of rage to think that Alan could have hurt his wife in any way. "Erin, did Alan ever hit you?"

He heard her draw in a low, sharp, breath as they stepped into the kitchen, and she went over to the fridge and grabbed out the orange juice carton, pouring herself a glass and drinking it down, looking anywhere but at him. "No, never, why would you ask?"

"Because of a number of factors here, darling. First, the way you shrank from him in the hospital. Second, the way you reacted to my waking you up in the car. Third, the way you're avoiding looking into my eyes as you answer me. Erin, if we're going to make this relationship work, we need to be completely honest with each other."

She gave him a small nod as she finished her juice, setting the glass in the sink before folding her hands in front of her as she looked down at the floor. "Things were very volatile after Karen was born. Some of that violence led to my problem spiraling out of control, I realise that now. And yes, I do talk about it with my therapist."

Some of the weight seemed to lift off her shoulders, and Dave stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. Erin nuzzled her face against his chest and it took a few minutes for him to recognize that she was crying. "Erin, it is completely okay to cry. You are under so much stress right now, I would be surprised if you didn't cry."

"This is going to sound stupid, but I feel like if I allow myself to cry right now, I'll never stop. And I really need to focus on Harriet and Greg right now. They have to be absolutely terrified what with Helena needing a transplant, and not knowing the outcome has to be weighing on them heavily."

He nodded as he rubbed her back in gentle circles, trying to comfort and ground her. Erin turned her head so that her breaths were fanning out against his neck. He could tell that she was still crying by the jagged feel of it. "I know that when Carolyn and I were going through everything with James, there was this gulf that opened up, threatening to swallow us whole. That managed to pull us apart, but there were fractures in our relationship already. I have the feeling that with the support of her family, including me, that this will not end up the same way. Everything will work out for good."

"You are much more optimistic than I am. After all, Alex is back, and we're at loggerheads, which is dividing my attention. I feel like I'm being pulled apart at the seams here, and that isn't good for anyone." Erin pulled away from him a little and looked up into his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Bending his head a little, he kissed her gently, enjoying the feel of her digging her fingers into his scalp. "But we need to talk a little more about things. You're trying to change the subject here."

"Because I don't want to talk to you about this. Not yet. I want to be insanely happy with you, to live out a dream in the face of two nightmares come to life. If I tell you, you might look at me differently and break this bubble of wonderful that I have with you. I don't want you to look at me like I've been broken."

"I would never look at you that way, darling," he said lowly as he carded his fingers through her hair. "I just want you to let me in a little more."

"I will, with time. There were warning signs that I overlooked, because I wanted to pretend that we had a happy family, and that everything would get better if I just worked harder. It became easier to self-mediate the pain away, until I eventually switched off that voice of reason that I had developed over the course of my career." Erin drew in a deep breath. "Self-destruction is such an easy rut to fall into."

"But you crawled out of that pit, and are stronger for it now. Yes?"

"Yeah," she breathed out as she slid her hand down his arm to take hold of his hand. "Now, how about we head up to bed? I'm suddenly exhausted, and all I want is to fall asleep in your arms, feeling your skin on mine. Okay?"

Dave knew that he couldn't refuse her request, so he squeezed her hand tightly as he nodded and brought her over to the stairs. "We'll pick up the fight again in the morning. And I promise, you will not be alone throughout this fight."