*beep, beep, beeeeeeeeeep*
Me: Clear! *zap* It lives! IT LIVVVVVVEEESS!
Oooookay jokes aside, since it's been so long since I last updated, I should probably explain why it's been so long: I actually was all set to begin writing and posting this story in a nice, orderly fashion...and then I got into a car accident in October, which completely threw me off; I was already busy with college and everything, but after the accident, I just couldn't find the time AND energy to write at the same time. Hopefully, I can finally begin writing in a more orderly fashion, but at least one of my professors is trying to make me die of stress, so we shall have to see. I should at least get some more chapters uploaded before the end of the month. With that out of the way, enioy!
The past few days had been surprisingly peaceful in Gotham, New Jersey. Gotham was one of the most infamous cities in all of America, and rightfully so. Its crime rate was off the charts, and the corruption of the cops and the politicians had basically become common knowledge long ago by this point. And then there were the supervillains. They were popping up prominently in Coast City, Metropolis, and New York as well, but from 'Two-Face' to 'Killer Croc' to 'The Joker', Gotham had a large and colorful army of rogues tearing the city apart nearly daily. But the past few days saw a level of peace that the city hadn't seen in a long time.
And no one hoped to jinx it.
A young man, looking to his early twenties, walked up to one of the bankers at the bank near his apartment. All he needed was to withdraw some money from his account and then he'd be on his way out.
"How can I help you?" the banker, a middle-aged Latino woman, asked him.
"Um, yeah, can I just get $40 out from my checkings?"
"No problem at all." The banker replied. "Just swipe your card down below."
The man looked at the thing and began to swipe…only to take back the card when he heard screams coming from outside.
Everything at the bank came to a halt as everyone turned around to hear the screaming. The screams began to get louder, and it sounded like more and more people were losing their shit every second.
The person closest to the front doors, a balding elderly man, opened said doors to find out what the hell was going on.
There were loads and loads of people running, just as he had expected to say. But he was taken completely aback when a green energy blasted across the area – and a few seconds later, the screaming came to an abrupt halt. And replacing it was laughter.
The old man had been caught in the blast, and so he began roaring with laughter as well. Everyone else in the bank, who had been spared from the green blast, just looked at the man with looks of utter bafflement on their faces. An elderly woman, presumably the man's wife, ran towards him and held his arm.
"Honey, what is going on?! What's going on?!" She cried out.
She wasn't the only one who wanted to know what the hell was going on. The entire bank did as well. There were murmurs and cries of panic abound, and finally, the lady looked out the window and saw…them. The Joker and Harley Quinn.
The Joker was a towering and lanky man, about 6'4 or 6'5, but that was the least noticeable thing about him when his hair was pure lime green and his skin was as white as a piece of chalk. He sported a sinister grin that sprang from one ear to the next, and he held a giant yellow staff in his hand. Harley meanwhile, donned a black and red clown jester suit with white makeup all across her face, and she bore a smile almost as wide and dastardly as the Joker's.
They were the most dangerous and feared criminals in all of Gotham, if not the entire country. Joker looked around at all the citizens in view, who were laughing manically it. He loved this. He relished in it.
A black-haired man in his early 40s grabbed Harley by her chest and laughed manically in her face. She pushed the man away and swung at him with her giant hammer, knocking him out.
The Joker did not acknowledge what had just happened. He instead continued to look straight ahead. "Look at them, Harley. Just…look at them all."
Harley chuckled. "It's wonderful, isn't it, Mistah J?'
"It sure is. It surre is."
Then police sirens could be heard, and Joker and Harley turned around to see five police cars arrive on the scene. They came to a halt, and about ten cops came out of the cars, every one of them armed and readied.
The Joker didn't look like he was taking this seriously in the least. He merely let out a hearty chuckle. "Ah, if it isn't the oh-so-pure law of Gotham!" He spattered out, with a tint of sarcasm as even he had to be aware of Gotham's rampant corruption.
"Fire!" One of the officers shouted out, and every police officer began shooting at the Joker. But all he did was wave his hand around, and each and every bullet disappeared in a spectacle of green flames.
The Joker shook his head. "I say, Harley, the cops sure do get a bad rep these days." He then proceeded to hold out his staff towards the policemen, who simply stared at him with stunned looks on their faces. "Let's cheer them up a little!"
He let out green blasts of fire against the officers, who simply stood there for a moment before they began to laugh maniacally.
"I must say, Harley, it's not every day a god breaks you out of jail and grants you magic. But that surely makes for a fun day. Why –"
"It sure does, puddin!"
The Joker's smile finally disappeared and he looked down at Harley with a scowl on his face. "Harley, I was not finished! Now, why don't you zip it and let me finish my damn sentence?!"
Harley sighed and looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry, Mistah J."
"You better be. As I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted…why, I can just see Batsy charging over here alone and honestly thinking he can beat me alone! I can't wait for that. That'll be hilarious." Then the Joker looked around himself, curious. "Say now, where is my dear Batman?"
His question was answered when, a few moments later, he saw the Batmobile roaring through the streets. "Ah, perfect. A little later than I would've liked, though. I'll make sure to scold him for his tardiness."
The Batmobile came to a quick stop, and Batman jumped out of his vehicle, looking at the Joker and Harley with his usual scowl.
"Ah, there you are, Batsy. You're late, you know! I am not one to accept tardiness!"
Batman did nothing to acknowledge what the Joker had just said. Instead, he simply grabbed out one of his Batarangs and flung it towards Joker's leg.
Joker, however, was undeterred, and simply pointed his staff towards the Batrang, causing the latter object to go up in the same green flames as the police officers' bullets.
"Ah, I see what you did there, Batman! Tried to take out my leg, you son of a bitch! But I'm afraid that just won't work! I have been granted extraordinary powers! Powers that have changed the game completely! Now, let's finally hear the Dark Knight laugh!"
The Joker grinned again and aimed towards Batman, letting out a green blast. Batman, however, pressed on the left side of his head, causing a black mouthguard to slide across his mouth, protecting the only exposed part of his body. He then proceeded to dodge the blast – barely.
"What is all this, Joker?!" Batman demanded to know, genuinely taken aback by the Joker's staff.
"Oh? You expect me to just waste time spilling all the details right here, right now? Batsy, you are the World's Greatest Detective, are you not? Figure it out for yourself. Assuming you can dodge my staff for any –"
Before he could go on, he felt a Batarang rope swing around him, and he was now entrapped in Batman's batarang rope. Harley rushed over to break him free, but she found herself entrapped upon another rope moments later.
"The jig is up, Joker." Batman said, as he then began to charge towards the two clown-dressed rogues.
Joker shook his head. "You know, Batman, even you have your limits. You've never really fought a magical foe before – by yourself, I mean."
Before Batman knew it, the ropes both went up in green fire. Batman didn't want to admit it – he truly, truly did not – but he was unprepared for the event that the Joker would equip himself with magical weapons. But he also had an ego to maintain. Part of him wanted to just contact the Vanguard for help, but most of him refused. The Joker was his mess and his problem to solve.
He decked the Joker in the face, but the blood that dripped off of Joker's mouth vanished quickly, which Batman chalked down to being the work of his magic. He did not know what to do.
But then, the clouds of Gotham began to darken. Batman, Joker, and Harley all simply looked up in the air, the latter two confused. Batman, however, had a solid idea of who was coming to town for a visit – and sure enough, it proved to be none other than Thor, who leapt down to the ground with all his might.
"Oh my." Was all the Joker said in response to the God of Thunder's arrival. "Looks like we have a special guest today."
"Thor!" Batman than yelled out, getting his divine ally to turn his head towards the Caped Crusader.
"Hello there, Batman. I've come to offer my aid."
"…Why, exactly?" Batman truly was confused as to why Thor just up and popped into his city.
Thor was quick to answer that question. "This staff your little nemesis wields…it is of Asgardian origin! I can tell by its design!" He pointed his hammer towards the Joker's golden staff, and the Joker's grin did not at all disappear with this revelation.
"Right you are, o' God of Thunder! Why, it was none other than your own brother, Loki, who broke me and my lady here out of prison and gave us this powerful staff!" Joker let out a sinister chuckle after finishing.
Thor narrowed his eyes and glared at the Joker. "For what purpose, exactly?"
Both he and Batman grew frustrated when the Joker simply shrugged. "I dunno. He literally just gave me this staff and told me to wreak havoc. And wreak havoc, I shall!"
The Joker pointed his staff towards Thor and blasted towards him, only for the God of Thunder to deflect it with his hammer. The skies, which had cleared out, darkened once more as Thor swung his hammer around. Joker's grin disappeared, replaced by a look of frustration, as he blasted towards Thor again. Thor dodged it again and levitated up in the air, with lightning roarirng down towards Mjlonir. The lighting stored itself into the hammer, and Thor brought down the lighting upon the Joker, sending him flying a few feet.
Batman wanted to take out the Joker, but he had realized that, as much as he considered the Joker his own problem, it was better to just let Thor take care of him. To that end, Batman charged towards Harley instead. Harley let out a grin.
"Hammer time, Batman!" She shouted out as she swung her giant hammer towards Batman. The Dark Knight wanted to roll his eyes at her words, but knew the better thing to do would be to just focus on taking Harley. He dodged Harley's hammer and decked her in the face, sending her back a couple feet. Harley's nose began to bleed, but this did not seem to deter her in the slightest, and she let out a war cry as she kicked Batman in the stomach, only for his suit's armor to ensure that Harley would be feeling more pain that he would.
Thor bashed the Joker around with his hammer, angry with the so-called 'Clown Prince of Crime' and his refusal to explain why Loki freed him and gave him that staff.
"Tell me, what else did Loki say to you, clown!" Thor angrily said, grabbing Joker by the neck and slamming him into a car, ignoring the property damage he had just caused.
"I've told you all that I know, Goldilocks. Now to get rid of you so I can be alone with Batman!"
Thor retained his grip on the Joker's throat, and began to fly up high into the air with the clown still in hand. The thunder and lighting in the skies began to intensify as Thor had grown tired of all of this, and once there were several hundred feet up in the air, Thor let go of the Joker. And as the Joker fell to the ground, Thor summoned up more lightning and launched it all towards the clown as he fell down to the ground and crashed onto the streets, a sight that Batman and Harely both stopped to look at for a second.
Thor levitated down to the ground, and saw the Joker struggle to get up, noticeably limping as he did so. The Joker, however, looked up at Thor and grinned, his staff still in hand.
"Huh…that totally should have killed me. But good thing it didn't."
Just then, Thor and Joker were forced to turn their heads as they saw blue beams of energy pop in, with the former knowing that they hailed from the Vanguard Tower's teleporter – and sure enough, out came Wonder Woman and Captain America teleported onto the streets of Gotham.
The Joker was now scowling. "Oh, come on! Just let me fight the Dork Knight on my own."
While this was happening, Batman was still battling Harley Quinn, who refused to go down. He had landed several blows to her, but after the latest punch, all she did was spit out a tooth before grinning and swinging at Batman with her hammer again.
While all of this was going on, a woman who looked to be in her early thirties and of Greek descent looked at all the commotion the Vanguard, the Joker, and Harley were causing.
She only smirked, and headed towards an alley, where a yellow light beamed over her, and her figure was replaced with that of a man. A handsome-looking man who sported green clothing with tints of yellow armor at the top, as well as a golden helmet with giant horns sticking out. 'She' was actually Loki, the God of Mischief.
"You are such a fool, dear brother." Loki muttered to himself before walking behind the building and reverting back to his woman disguise, smirking as he did so.