There was a stillness to his office as Dave walked over and joined Erin on the sofa. He sat on the opposite end as Erin, and still, she pulled away from him, the distance between them feeling wider than the small space that physically separated them. As Dave became accustomed to the sound of silence in the room, he keyed into the uneven hitch of Erin's breathing, the gasps that came every so often, the faint murmurings that were barely audible, as if she was trying to psych herself up to telling him something that was beyond her desire to do so.

"Would it help if I told you that I already know what you're going to say?"

Erin raised her head, meeting his eyes, and he saw that she was on the verge of tears. "What do you think I'm going to tell you?"

"That since I'm a perfect match for Helena, there's more to Harriet's parentage than either Alan or I ever knew. Am I anywhere near close?"

She flinched sharply, as if his words had hit too close a mark. A part of him knew that he should reach out and take hold of her hand, to comfort her, to let her know that he wasn't upset. But that wasn't exactly true, he realized. He was upset. He was furious. And from the stricken look on Erin's face, he knew that he wasn't wearing a good poker face.

"I did love Alan, in my own way. I wouldn't have married him if I hadn't. He supported me through my PhD, and my time at the Academy, but we never were blessed with children when I thought we would be. I just figured that it was my fault, because my cycles were long, and I was so stressed, that I obviously wasn't a conducive host for a viable pregnancy." She paused to take a few deep breaths, her hands pressing firmly against her stomach as if trying to prevent herself from being sick. "And then, you walked into my life, and I fell into lust."

"Even though I slept with anything in a skirt?" he asked, trying to sound flippant, but even he could hear the ire in his voice.

"I knew you would hold that against me, after Alan parroted those words to you. I said that in a moment of pique, when I was furious with him, and jealous of Susan. I knew that we were nothing more than fuck buddies, but a part of my heart was deeply attached to you already."

He nodded. "I can see that. I was getting a little attached to you at that point as well."

Erin gave him a fleeting smile before swallowing a few times. "I found myself in love with both of you, but the schisms were already forming in both relationships. The Amerithrax debacle didn't help anything, either, and I found myself unable to confide in either of you, at a time when I needed someone that I loved to listen to me."

A few tears began to roll down her face, and he just stared at Erin, feeling frozen to his seat. She let out a low chuckle as she swiped her knuckles beneath her eyes. "Erin…"

"Alan is such an asshole."

"I could have told you that ages ago."

"Then why didn't you? You could have saved me all this heartache and sorrow, and maybe I wouldn't have had to go to rehab." Her sharp gaze pierced him to the core, and he looked away, over at his desk, not wanting to stare at the raw pain and vulnerability there any longer. "David?"

"I thought that you were in love with him, and I wasn't going to come between that. Yeah, the sex with you was amazing, but I knew that we had decided to keep things casual between us, especially since you were so hellbent on rising through the ranks of the FBI. That seemed to be what made you happy, and I knew that if there was a bump in the road, you might not attain your dreams. And I knew that you were jealous of Susan. I think that, subconsciously, I started sleeping with her to push you away, so that you would achieve those goals. I didn't realise that that would also napalm our friendship, which I learned too late that I really missed."

She nodded, wrapping her arms around her leg once more. "That was a large aspect of our relationship that I missed as well. It is so very lonely in my job when you lose your two closest friends in such a short span of time. And so, I tried to be the good little wife, and make things work, but it didn't work. It just hurt us both so much more, turning him into the bitter person he is today. Though, he does have a right to that. I did cheat on him for so many years."

Erin was crying once more, and this time, Dave did reach out to touch her shoulder, his fingertips barely grazing her arm before she pulled away from him, shaking her head. "What is it?"

"You're going to hate me when you know the truth. I hate myself." Those words shook him to the core and he drew his hand back and folded his arms over his chest as he looked at her. "He always knew that I was sleeping with someone. He didn't put everything together until after we had broken things off and I was snippy about you to him."

"But he never said anything to you?" he asked, wondering just how long they had each known the truth without telling him.

"I think that he wanted to wait until he had the opportunity to hurt me the most. It should have happened when I went to my second round of rehab, since that was when I was at my lowest point in life. Instead, he waited until there was this health crisis with Helena and he smelled blood in the water between the two of us to strike."

Erin sucked her lower lip between her teeth as she glanced over at the door, her face looking whiter than a sheet of paper. Still, he needed to have the truth of her, and so he leaned forward and narrowed his eyes as he stared at her. She flinched again and pulled in on herself, away from him. "Just spit it out, Erin! We can't move forward until I know what is making you so fucking afraid!"

"He's sterile, David! He has been since before we were married! And he assumed that I didn't want children, since I was so career driven, and never thought to tell me. He knew from the first pregnancy, waited for me to say something, and when I didn't, well, he waited to see if I ever would. In time, though, he came to love the babies as his own, but he began to hate me. And it grew and festered until it spilled over in the hospital. He took great delight in demolishing my heart while you were gone, and when you didn't answer my calls, those shattered pieces were ground to sand."

Before he could say another word, in order to refute her or accuse her, Erin had scrambled to her feet and rushed for the door, her hands pressed over her mouth. If it was to keep herself from sobbing or being sick, he didn't know, as he felt rooted to the spot by the confirmation of his worst thoughts – he was a father, three times over, and that had been kept from him for far too long.