AN: It is now officially Valentine's Day in my time zone, so here's some family fluff (and a side of faberry drama) to celebrate/distract from/get through the day. I hope you all have a great day, regardless. It is Friday.
XI
Hugo knows.
Quinn gets no insight into what Rachel feels about that truth from that message alone, but she's assuming it didn't go as terribly as Rachel thought, or Quinn would have received a panicked phone call in the middle of the night. Quinn has so many questions about how he knows, but she forces herself to ask what's most important.
Is he okay? Are you?
He thanked me.
Huh?
Exactly my response. I'm not sure what to make of it, but I'm going to talk to him about it some more today. See where his head's at.
And yours?
Mine?
YOUR head. Are you okay?
There's a long wait for a reply, and Quinn rolls over in bed, listening for any signs that Lex or Sasha are moving about. It's not exactly early, and her little one is usually up and about already.
With a heavy sigh, she rolls herself out of bed and prepares to face the day. She's oddly exhausted, which is strange, because she's sure she got at least seven hours of sleep. There's a part of her, she knows, that wishes she weren't having a text conversation with Rachel, but rather talking to her face-to-face. She wants to be able to touch her and feel her warmth.
Quinn wants.
When she finally leaves her room, she finds Lex lying on his stomach on his bedroom floor and sketching on a spread of white sheets of paper. Sasha is laying beside him, her eyes barely open, and Quinn's heart melts at the sight of them.
"Hey, Kiddo," she greets.
His head snaps up. "Morning, Mom," he mumbles through an unexpected yawn.
"You been up long?"
He shakes his head, shifting into a seated position. "I had a dream, Mom," he says. "We were at the park with the ducks and I was feeding them."
She almost rolls her eyes. "Oh, really?"
He nods eagerly. "You always tell me it's your job to make my dreams come true."
Quinn laughs. "You're too smart for your own good, did you know that?"
"I did."
She blows him a kiss. "Come on, let's get some breakfast and you can keep trying to convince me to leave my air-conditioned house just so you can feed birds."
Lex scrambles to his feet. "Mommy," he says, his eyes doing that puppy-dog thing that makes her weak. "The ducks are so cute."
Quinn sighs, already knowing she's going to be venturing out. "Breakfast," she grumbles, and he just knows he's won. She realises she's going to have to develop more of a tolerance to it, but she'll give him ducks.
It's all he can talk about as they have cereal for breakfast, Quinn quietly promising they can grab lunch at Rose's before they head to the park.
It's only after she's done the dishes that she checks her phone again, finding texts from Louisa and Rachel, and a handful of emails from Lindsey.
Rachel first, of course.
I think I'm relieved, the text says. I was so worried he wouldn't approve. He's never known me with anyone but men, which wasn't even what I was most worried about, if I'm being honest. It's the fact it's you, because it's obvious he loves you, and I've been worried that our starting a relationship would align us differently. I didn't want to be accused of stealing you from him.
Quinn thinks there's more Rachel wants to say, but it's perhaps a conversation to have when they're in the same place, which is why Quinn decides it's best to lighten the mood.
Well, there's more than enough of me to share, so neither of you have to worry.
That's reassuring. Also, you're an idiot.
If you want to spend some alone time with H today, just say the word and L and I can come get Little Bug and take him to the park with us. I've been guilted into going to feed the ducks.
Would you really do that?
Of course.
I still can't believe you actually exist.
Quinn smiles a little as she sighs, wishing Rachel could have had better experiences so she wouldn't believe that Quinn is anything special. Quinn doesn't think she is, anyway. This is just how she is in a relationship. That's it.
Well, I do, she texts back. What time should we pick him up?
Whenever you want.
Quinn checks the time on her phone.
I promised Lionel some Rose's for lunch, so maybe after?
Sounds perfect. Can't wait to see you.
Ditto, Cherry.
Rachel surprises her with a kiss to the cheek as soon as she steps out of her car a few hours later. An automatic smile spreads across her face, and she's aware she's acting like a lovestruck fool.
The girl she likes is showing her she likes her back. It's everything.
Hugo is practically bouncing behind Rachel, his smile so wide Quinn's convinced it has to hurt. As soon as Rachel has moved on to hug Lex, Hugo rushes at her, almost winding her.
Quinn puffs out a breath, a hand on his head. "Well, hello to you, too."
Hugo just squeezes her tighter, and Quinn glances at Rachel, who looks equally bemused. Of all the reactions Quinn expected from Hugo, this isn't it.
Anyway.
She's not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, because he could have reacted entirely differently to the very idea they're in a relationship.
Hugo eventually lets her go, and Quinn looks around for Max, who is just stumbling out the front door, determined to make it on his own.
"He howled like a banshee when I tried to pick him up," Rachel says, looking amused. "I told him Quinn's coming to get him, and that's what you get."
Quinn can't stop her grin, and she takes off towards her little guy, hearing him shriek in excitement when he recognises her. She swoops down to lift him into her arms, delighting in his pure joy. She holds him above her head, flying him through the air.
"So, I hear you're spending the afternoon with us, huh, Bug?"
His hands automatically reach for her, and Quinn is so in love with this baby boy. She doesn't think she could stand a life without him, and she's trying not to think about if it would ever have to be a possibility.
Nope.
Quinn walks back to where her car is parked in the driveway, Rachel and the boys hovering. She moves to the backseat, opening the door, and then freezes. "Damn," she says under her breath.
Rachel appears at her shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"Car seat," she says, frowning slightly.
"Easy fix," Rachel says, taking her own car keys out of the back pocket of her jeans. "Take my car, and I'll take yours."
Quinn's brow furrows. "Or... I could just move the car seat."
Rachel immediately shakes her head. "If you want to spend the next half an hour trying to figure out how to unclip, and then clip that thing again, be my guest," she says.
Quinn grumbles under her breath. "But, my car."
Rachel pats her shoulder. "This'll be the ultimate form of domesticity," she says. "Look at us, even swapping cars. What will the locals think?"
Quinn turns to face her, expression serious. "What will the locals think?" she asks. "I mean, that kind of thing sends a certain message, doesn't it?"
"Well, I mean, the one person I was really worried about now knows, so I find I care exponentially less," Rachel lets her know. "If you'd like to tell Louisa and Jane, please do. I know you've been holding off for my sake, and that hasn't been fair on you."
"Hey."
Rachel pinches at her hip. "Stop being so nice about it," she says. "You've been so patient, and I want to acknowledge it."
Quinn shrugs. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"
Rachel nods. "It's perfect."
After another kiss to her cheek, Rachel lets her go, Max strapped into his carseat in the backseat of Rachel's Volkswagen Tiguan with Lex and Sasha. It's a different kind of drive for Quinn, just a little smaller, but so smooth.
"I like this car," Lex says, and Quinn has to agree with him. "It smells like Rachel."
Quinn glances at him in the rearview mirror. "And, what exactly does she smell like?"
His brow creases in thought. "Flowers," he finally says. "And strawberries."
Quinn hums in agreement. "She does."
Lex is quiet for the rest of the drive, his hand held out for Max to play with his fingers, and Quinn looks at them through the mirror one too many times, because, seriously, how can she not?
When they get to the park, Lex is revved up to maximum energy, and Sasha is practically feeding off of it. Letting them loose seems like the obvious play at this point, so Quinn makes sure his cap is secure on his head, and then sends him off, Sasha trailing behind, his little guard dog.
Quinn keeps one eye on him, taking her time getting Max ready with his own little floppy hat. "Are we taking a walk, Little Bug?" she asks, bent over him as she unclips him from his car seat. "Going to test those legs out on some real terrain, huh?"
"Rachel?"
Quinn's head snaps up, and she looks to the sound of the voice, squinting in the sunlight until her eyes settle on a couple she knows to be Kurt and Blaine, and their daughter. They're standing just behind the car, dressed for their own afternoon at the park.
"Oh," Kurt says, clearly surprised to see her. "My mistake. Just saw the car. Is Rachel around?"
Quinn bristles slightly, because she's honestly never talked to him before. "No, she's not," she says, and then returns her attention to Max, who is starting to get antsy. "Sorry, Bug," she murmurs, and then lifts him right out and into her arms. She steps away from the car to close the door, and she's faced with two stunned faces and a completely distracted third.
"That's Max," Blaine says, a little unnecessarily.
Quinn looks from Blaine to Max, and then back to Blaine. "It appears so, yes," she says. "Say hello, Baby Lamb."
Max lifts an arm in what could be considered a wave.
"Why do you have Max?" Kurt asks, looking utterly confused.
"We wanted to come to the park," Quinn answers, locking the car and pocketing the key.
"Why are you driving Rachel's car?"
"The car seat," she says, as if it's obvious. She moves towards them, and then right past them. "Take care," she says, and then just keeps walking, just knowing Rachel is probably going to get an immediate call about this. She should maybe warn Rachel, so she sends a quick text once she's got Max set up in what Lima has decided counts as a sandpit.
Quinn can feel eyes on her as she settles on a small picnic blanket and watches her boys play, both of them blissfully unaware. Lex is running around as if he's hopped up on some kind of drug, and Max's face is adorably scrunched in concentration as he piles sand.
Quinn's phone buzzes in her hand a few minutes later.
He beat you to it. That was definitely an interesting call.
Quinn sighs, glancing around and spotting Kurt and Blaine a few metres away. Kurt is looking at her, but he immediately turns away when he notices her looking. Well.
Are you okay? she types back to Rachel.
I have no regrets.
Okay.
Are YOU okay?
Quinn considers it. She hasn't given much thought to what it'll be like to be openly and publicly out in Lima. She worried before the move, given this is Ohio, but there's quite an open community here. While not necessarily accepted wholeheartedly, Quinn reasons, there's a sense of ignorance towards homosexuality.
Quinn would take that over hostility.
This entire time, she's been so focused on the way Rachel feels about people knowing they're together, that she's managed to forget about herself.
I'm okay, she eventually says. Nothing's really been confirmed. I'm not ashamed of my sexuality. I'm not ashamed of you or what we have.
And, what is it we have, Miss Fabray?
Forever.
Quinn is aware she's blushing, so she knows Rachel must be as well.
Anyway, she texts again. Stop talking to me. This is your day with Hugo.
She gets hugs and kisses in response, which lifts her mood to an astronomical level. It's really the reason she feels brave enough to call Louisa. It's been awful keeping her friends in the dark about her new relationship - she did the same thing with Blair - but her reasons are different this time around.
Today is the day, and now is the time.
Louisa answers on the fifth ring, "Stone."
Quinn rolls her eyes. "Hello, I'd like to report a kidnapping," she says. "My best friend's gone missing."
Louisa chuckles. "Hello, asshole."
"Hello, my love."
Louisa snorts. "This is a surprise," she says. "Is everything okay?"
"Everything's great," Quinn says, and it's the truth. "So."
Louisa hums in response, sounding a little distracted by something. "So?"
"I have news."
"Is it the kitchen? Is it done?"
"What? Um, actually, it is done, but that's not why I'm calling." Quinn rolls her eyes. "This is big news, Blue," she says. "The biggest."
Louisa seems to hear something in her voice because her breathing shifts and Quinn knows she has the woman's entire attention. "What is it?"
Quinn barely takes a breath before she says, "I'm happy."
"What?"
"I'm so fucking happy, it's actually disgusting."
Louisa digests that. "Oh, my God, did you get laid?"
Quinn laughs. "No, I didn't," she says, and, if she sounds a little disappointed by that, it's her own problem. "The possibility is there, though."
"Oh?"
Quinn breathes out. "You know, for a while there, I wasn't sure I would ever get over Blair," she confesses. "Not because of the actual relationship, but because of the way it ended. Just learning to trust again and put my heart on the line and all that. I didn't think I would be able to do it, not so soon, but - "
"But?"
"There's just something about her," Quinn says, sighing dreamily.
"Are we talking about a certain petite brunette?"
"We are."
"Did something happen?"
Quinn sighs again, and she suddenly feels so young. She never felt any of this with Blair, or with anyone before her. There was no excitement; there was no burning desire to gush about her to all her friends.
There's just something about Rachel.
"Quinn?" Louisa questions.
"I'm in love," she blurts. "We're dating. The kids know. I'm so fucking happy."
Louisa is quiet on the other end.
"Lou?"
"I'm sorry," she says; "I'm still processing. That's a lot."
Quinn waits, trying her best not to let Louisa's lack of reaction dampen her mood. It just feels as if something's not exactly right on Louisa's end, and Quinn isn't sure how to ask the question when she's just confessed to being stupid happy.
Still, she asks, "Blue, is everything okay?"
"What?"
"You seem... off," she points out. "What's up?"
"Nothing," she says. "Just work, you know? Surprises popping up here and there."
"Oh, okay." Quinn leans back, feeling unsettled. She looks back at the sandpit where Max is making a complete mess of himself and his clothes, and then searches for Lex, who is practically leaning over the pond to get closer to the ducks.
Perhaps she should call Jane and find out if something's up.
"Blue?" Quinn asks. "You still there?"
"I need to get back to work, okay," she says. "I'll call you later and we can talk about this some more."
Quinn barely has time to reply before Louisa is dropping the call and leaving Quinn even more confused. There have been times when she's felt like there's some kind of disconnect between them, and this is one of those times.
It was a little difficult for Quinn when Louisa and Jane first started dating, having been the link between them for so long. The idea that they hung out without her was something that took a while to get used to, but she's managed it. It also wasn't fun being the third wheel, and being this far away from them isn't helping, either.
Quinn makes sure the kids are all settled before she dials Jane's number.
Jane picks up on the fourth ring. "Quinnie."
Quinn rolls her eyes. "Hello to you, too, J-Rod."
"To what do I owe this unexpected call?" she asks.
"Just wanted to check in," Quinn says. "How's Buttercup?"
"She's a menace," Jane answers. "Three-year-olds are so exhausting."
"I tried to tell you," Quinn quips, just so happy. "It'll get better."
"I'm taking your word for it."
Quinn settles a little, relieved that at least Jane isn't acting too weird. Well. "So, I, uh, was just chatting to your wife," she says. "I had some news for her, and I guess - just, is everything okay?"
"What do you mean?"
"She seemedā¦ off."
Jane is quiet for a long, long moment. "It's probably the case she's been working," she finally says. "It's a really bad one."
"Damn."
"I wouldn't take it too personally," Jane says. "Goodness knows I'm not."
Quinn winces. "Sorry," she says.
"Not your problem," Jane assures her. "But... do I also get to hear this news?"
"You do," Quinn says, and then she tells her.
Jane's excited squeal is exactly the response Quinn has been waiting for.
Think you can pick up pie for dinner from Rose's? Please and thank you š Marley should know our usuals.
And, well, Marley does.
The teenager gives Quinn what could be considered a particularly knowing look when Quinn places her order, Max balanced on her hip and Lex hovering dutifully by her side. Quinn resists the urge to roll her eyes, because this is a little ridiculous.
"I'll get right on it," Marley says, ruffling Lex's hair, and then floating away.
Quinn swears she's whistling.
"Mom," Lex says, tugging on her shorts. "Can we go wait outside please?"
Quinn glances at him. "Is everything okay?"
"That man is staring at us."
Quinn looks to her right, and, indeed, there's a man staring at them. A boy, really. It's Jake, and sitting opposite him is Noah Puckerman, who looks over at that exact moment. His own eyes narrow at the sight of them, and his features harden when his gaze settles on Max.
Quinn looks away, feeling the need to shield both boys with her own body. Louisa would have a hell of a lot to say about the fact Quinn has made a fair few enemies already, but it's really about the principle. Her kitchen is now complete, and she's actually relieved those men/boys had nothing to do with it.
As much talk as they are about taking her to court, she knows as well as the next person there's no way they'll win. It's as simple as that, so she's just waiting for them to run out of steam and drop it, or she's really going to go on the offensive.
Well.
"Mom," Lex says again. "Please."
"Of course," she says, shaking off her own discomfort. "Let me just tell Mars Bar we'll be outside, okay?"
If Marley recognises that something is amiss, she doesn't mention it. Just lets them know she'll bring their food out to them when it's ready, and Lex leads the way out of the diner, his fingers gripping one of Quinn's belt loops.
Quinn hears laughter coming from that particular booth, and she can't resist looking over. Her own gaze is hard and unforgiving, because it's one thing to have a problem with her, but the second her son is involvedā¦ well, Quinn has many, many ways to make a man burn.
She's been relatively polite until this point, she likes to think, but she also has a protective cop as a best friend, and Louisa is a handy weapon to have in her arsenal.
"How was your day with Hugo?" Quinn asks, glancing over her own shoulder to make sure their boys are suitably occupied, and then slipping her arms around Rachel's waist.
Rachel rests her hands on Quinn's shoulders. "I didn't even realise it was something we needed," she says, sounding thoughtful.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Rachel assures her. "I just - I just can't help wondering just how much you mean to all of us. How much you bring to all our lives."
Quinn's eyes widen a little in surprise.
"Is that too much?" Rachel asks, a little panicked herself.
Quinn just shakes her head, and then leans in to kiss her. It's meant to be chaste, but it ends up being anything but, and they only break apart when Lex says, "Gross, Mom."
Quinn laughs as she pulls away and turns to look at her son, internally relieved that he and Hugo are actually smiling. "If you wanted your own kisses, all you had to do was ask," she says, releasing Rachel and stalking towards them.
Their shrieks are possibly the best things she's ever heard.
Rachel won't stop looking at her. Or touching her. The woman just won't stop, which really isn't a complaint from Quinn, but it does give her incentive to make good on some much needed adult time for them both.
It definitely helps that Lex is now somewhat comfortable being left with Rachel's parents, and, the second they're able to carve out some time for just the two of them, Quinn jumps at the opportunity.
She has a bit of a plan.
She promised to wine and dine Rachel, which is a little difficult to do for something that's considered an afternoon date, but she's willing to work with what she's got.
See, Quinn means for it to be special; she really, really does.
They have maybe a few hours to have lunch, maybe fit in a movie or some other kind of activity Quinn was going to suggest before they have to pick up the kids from Rachel's parents' house.
Quinn has a plan, but that all gets derailed the second Rachel asks to see her completed kitchen.
Which is why Quinn finds herself pulling into her own driveway and leading Rachel into her empty house. It's very apparent Lex and Sasha both aren't here just from the atmosphere, which is suddenly very charged as Quinn closes the door behind them.
If Rachel were any other person, Quinn might even go so far as to say that this was an attempt to seduce. Nobody just wants to see another woman's kitchen, right?
Well.
Quinn gets her answer as soon as they step into the kitchen, her pride at her creation practically bleeding out of her. She's barely had a second to gush about all the changes she's made before Rachel's mouth is on hers, claiming her.
It's rough and demanding, and Quinn takes a moment to catch up, seizing control of the kiss.
Something about the two of them in kitchens, apparently.
Quinn pushes her against the island, desperate to touch and feel. She's warm to the touch, skin soft and mouth pliant under her own.
Rachel slips her hands under Quinn's shirt, determined, and Quinn saves them both the trouble by lifting it right over her head and chucking it somewhere behind her.
For some reason, this is the moment they realise there's no going back if they decide to continue.
"Are you sure?" Quinn asks, breathless and panting.
Rachel nods. "Never been more sure of anything," she says, which probably isn't true, but Quinn will take it. She immediately lifts Rachel up and onto the island, forcing her backwards until she can climb on after her.
"Right here?" Rachel asks, excitement in her voice.
Quinn kisses her in response, her right hand working on the buttons of Rachel's shirt. "No better place," she murmurs, which is probably also not true at all, but who cares?
Like with many things in her life, Quinn is thorough.
She listens to every sound Rachel makes, watches every move her body makes, and responds accordingly, hands and mouth working in tandem to give Rachel the greatest experience she's ever had.
Obviously, she succeeds.
After, Rachel says, "I really like what you've done with the place," sounding sated and so thoroughly satisfied, and Quinn laughs and laughs.
Quinn, admittedly, has been expecting some kind of panic from Rachel, so when the woman drops off the face of the earth for two entire days, Quinn tries not to take it too personally.
It kind of hurts, though.
She was already wary of taking that kind of step in their physical relationship, and she thinks she should have done more to make sure Rachel was more comfortable with it.
Looking back, she really should have made it more special.
Well, they started on the kitchen island, but they eventually found Quinn's bed - a number of times.
Quinn still flushes at the thought.
The way she worshiped Rachel's body, and Rachel explored hers with a kind of wonder, as if she couldn't believe Quinn exists. The idea that Rachel is as taken with her as she is with the brunette still catches her way off guard. It bubbles within her, threatening to explode on a daily basis.
But, well, today, it's dampened, and she wonders if Lex can tell. He also seems a little subdued, and Quinn wishes her moods didn't have this much effect on him. They've talked about it quite endlessly, but there's only so much she can say and do to prepare him for a mother who isn't always visibly happy.
Quinn schedules a Skype call with Jane and Christine for them both, in an attempt to lift their moods, and it definitely seems to work. Talking to New Haven has always had a particularly positive effect on Quinn, and Jane even says that Louisa's managed to close her rather hairy case and things are almost back to normal.
Quinn wishes for normal, and she gets something not quite close enough when she checks her phone after the call ends to find a text from Rachel.
Are you free today?
Quinn, feelings still justifiably stung, is tempted to tell her no, she's busy, but she's above being petty and she actually misses Rachel and the boys.
We can be, she eventually replies.
And, instead of a reply back, Rachel shows up mere minutes later with Hugo, Max and Marley in tow, and says, "You're coming with me," her eyes solely on Quinn.
What Quinn expects and what she gets are two entirely different things.
Quinn is still confused about what's actually happening, and she's currently sitting in the passenger seat of Rachel's car. Which she willingly got into, though she still has no idea why.
Rachel walked in, entourage in tow, and Lex asked, "What's happening, Mom?" to which she didn't have an answer.
"I'm borrowing your mom," Rachel told him, and he merely shrugged and just let Quinn leave. Just like that.
If Quinn weren't so tense, she thinks she might be more aggrieved that her son was so okay with swapping her for Max, Hugo and Marley. Not that she blames him, really, because the three of them are much cooler than she is. That's never been in doubt.
In the entire time they've been together - which, admittedly, hasn't actually been that long - Quinn hasn't ever felt this disconnected from Rachel. Even before it all started, Quinn understood her, but she feels lost and confused now.
She thinks one thing, but the nervous energy radiating off Rachel tells her something else.
They really, really need to talk.
Rachel drives them to her house, probably for the privacy to have whatever conversation they apparently need to have. Quinn's confusion and lingering anger and hurt has ebbed to a dull ache, and she thinks she'll be able to have an actual conversation about this now.
Without being accusatory or handing out ultimatums, at least, because that's apparently what she's good at.
It's really their first conflict as a couple, though she can't say it's really any kind of actual conflict. Just, they had sex - a lot of it - and then Rachel left Quinn in the dark for two whole days, allowing her to think the worst - which she definitely did.
And, now, here they are.
Rachel pulls into the driveway, and then leads the way into the house. Quinn follows in silence as Rachel makes a pit stop in the kitchen to fetch two bottles of water and then directs them to the main couch in the living room.
Quinn almost wants to put more space between their bodies, but she also wants to be close to Rachel, even if they're not touching. She can still feel the heat of her, which is both reassuring and irritating, because she really doesn't want to be affected by it, at all.
There are a lot of emotions.
"I'm sorry," Rachel starts, and Quinn's frown deepens. It's not an unusual place for this talk to start, but Quinn needs to know what the apology is for. Does Rachel even realise what needs to be apologised for? Does it matter?
"I - I think we should have talked about it first," Rachel adds after a long moment, and Quinn watches her carefully. She seems so much smaller like this, tiny in a way her personality should never be.
"I agree," Quinn says.
Rachel looks up, a little surprised that she doesn't have to explain it more. Quinn has always managed to surprise her. "I'm sorry I freaked out."
Quinn sighs. "Freaking out is fine, Rach," she says. "I just wish you'd talked to me about it. I'm your partner now. You can talk to me about anything. I want and need you to."
"I know," Rachel sighs. "I just - I guess I'm not used to it."
Quinn waits, patient and focused.
"There have been two people before you," Rachel says quietly. "Finn - Finn was my first, in senior year of high school, and also my most recent, I guess. But my all-important first. We'd been dating on and off since we were sophomores by then, and it just felt like time, though I can't be certain I really wanted it." She pauses and licks her lips. "Brody was different. It was - I guess it was just sex at first. I liked him more than he liked me, definitely, and then I fell pregnant, and things just kind of happened after that. It was a relationship, sure, and we were determined to make it work, but it felt so, so hard."
Quinn audibly swallows, recognising that feeling.
"But, with you, it's so easy," Rachel says, and there's a hint of disbelief in her voice. "I like you, and I like having sex with you and being with you and existing in this relationship with you. So, so much, Quinn. It's just that it's nothing I've ever experienced before." She drops her gaze. "So I panicked."
"Because of the sex?"
"Because the sex makes it real," Rachel clarifies. "I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?"
"I can't even imagine what you were thinking," she says, running a hand through her hair.
"I thought you were panicking because I'm a woman," Quinn informs her. "Not because you're just now figuring out you're in your first decent relationship."
"We both know it's a lot more than decent, Quinn."
Quinn manages a tiny smile. "Are you okay now?" she asks. "Did you talk to someone?"
Rachel flushes. "Would you be weirded out if I told you I talked to my Daddy about it?"
"No."
She blinks in surprise. "Well, I did," she says. "He, uh, struggled more than my Dad, with the whole gay relationship thing. Not that that's the part that scares me. It's the - "
"The what?"
"The forever part."
Quinn's eyebrows shoot up to her hairline.
"Is that too much?"
Quinn reaches for her hands, holding them both in her lap. "It's not," she says. "I'm feeling the same things, as well."
"But you've actually had decent relationships before."
"Perhaps I have," she agrees. "But that doesn't mean this isn't all still new to me, too. Every relationship is different. What we have is different to anything I've experienced before, as well, but - "
"It's forever for you too, isn't it?"
Quinn's thumb rubs over her knuckles. "Is that too much?"
Rachel shakes her head. "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you like the adult I'm supposed to be."
Quinn kisses her cheek. "Well, you are barely taller than our sons, so..."
"Har har."
"Are you okay now?"
"I think so," she says. "I just - I guess I just wanted to talk to you, alone, and make sure you know I'm in this. With you."
Quinn blinks. "Make sure I know... how?"
Rachel's gaze drops to her lips for a beat. "Well, I was planning on showing you," she says.
"And, what exactly were you planning on showing me?"
"Just how much I want you."
"Which is how much, exactly?"
"This much."
Quinn barely gets a breath in before Rachel is scrambling into her lap, their lips meeting in a feverish kiss.
Oh, Quinn thinks, that much.
Later, Rachel says, "I got close that time."
Quinn hasn't managed to catch her breath, but she still asks, "What?" because she's quite certain she got Rachel there.
"I told you I'm going to get you to use my actual name," Rachel says, lifting her head and propping it up with her elbow and hand. Her chest is heaving, her hair a delightful mess, and she's sure there are parts of her body that are still tingling. "I almost got it out of you that time."
Quinn grins tiredly at her. "Oh," she murmurs. "Does that mean you've given up?"
"Of course not," Rachel declares, lifting the sheet and rolling right back onto Quinn, both of them groaning at the touch of bare skin. "I won't stop until I get it out of you," she vows.
Quinn's grin turns saucy, and her hands slide over Rachel's bare back. "If that's meant to be some kind of incentive for me to fold, I'm afraid you're mistaken."
Rachel rolls her hips as she settles more comfortably. She kisses Quinn's cheek just once, and then rests her chin on her own forearms on Quinn's chest. She's ready and willing to go again, but there's something just so perfect about lying here like this, the warmth of Quinn's body and the easiness of her smile surrounding her.
Quinn tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and allows her fingers to linger. "What are you thinking about?" she asks, her voice quiet.
"Nothing, really," Rachel says. "Just how happy I am right now."
"Because you just had two orgasms?"
Rachel pinches her skin, and she yelps. "No," she drawls, and then very deliberately pauses. "Well, not only that."
She traces Rachel's cheekbone with the tips of her fingers. "What then?" she asks, oddly curious.
"You," Rachel whispers. "Just you."
"Me?"
"You make me happy," Rachel confesses; "and I can't say I've ever been before."
Quinn blinks, unsure what to make of those words.
"Every part of my life has been some kind of struggle," Rachel elaborates. "A fight. Something I've had to work so damn hard for, or bend myself out of shape to keep." She meets Quinn gaze. "But not you."
Quinn feels her own heart skip several beats. "I think you and I remember the start of our interaction very differently."
Rachel pinches her again, getting no reaction this time. "That fight was against this," she murmurs. "Because this life with you, it's nothing I've experienced before, and it's terrifying." She sighs. "You scare me so much."
Quinn's mouth twists mournfully. "I wish you wouldn't be so afraid of me."
Rachel kisses her, long and slow. "You have many wishes, don't you?"
Quinn allows the mood change, and says, "And one of them is currently lying on top of me."
Rachel beams at her, and then swoops in for another kiss that's definitely leading them somewhere. "Say my name, Quinn."
Quinn laughs, loud and so damn happy. "Make me."
It takes nearly nineteen minutes for Rachel to convince Quinn they have to get out of bed and face the rest of the day. Quinn grumbles and complains, but Rachel tempts her with her body and a shower, and Quinn is sold, following after her like the goddamn flapjack she is.
What is wrong with her?
It's probably the sex brain.
Something like that.
It takes her a ridiculously long time to recover, really, because Rachel is consistently stunning without even trying, and now that this aspect of their relationship has been unlocked - frankly, the door has been obliterated, at this point - Quinn isn't sure she'll ever get enough.
Still, they have children to return to, and, as much as she enjoys having Rachel all to herself, her favourite moments are when they're all together as one big family.
"Reckon the boys will want pizza for dinner?" Rachel asks as she searches through one of her drawers for a t-shirt for Quinn to wear.
Quinn stands, watching her, just in her cotton shorts and bra. "If you'd just been more careful with my shirt," she teases.
Rachel glances at her over her shoulder, and then quickly looks away. "I promise I'll sew your buttons back on."
Quinn laughs. "If you can even find them."
Rachel finally locates a t-shirt that will probably fit her. "Ah hah," she declares, spinning around. "This should do."
Quinn steps closer to her, reaching out for the navy item in her hand. "This isn't going to be something completely embarrassing, is it?" she asks, using both hands to hold out the t-shirt in front of her, and then gasping. "Baby, no."
Rachel actually giggles.
"I am not wearing anything with Yankees on it," Quinn says, firm. "I'd rather walk around in just my bra."
"And get arrested?"
"We're literally just going to my house," she argues. "I'll stay ducked down in the car. Surely you have something else."
Rachel just shakes her head.
"Why do you even own this thing?" she asks, scowling.
"My Dads bought it for me when I first moved to New York," she says, pouting. "They thought I'd like it."
"We have to burn it."
"Why are you so against the Yankees, anyway?"
"Blue," is all she says as explanation, and then hands the t-shirt back to her. "Please can you find me something else? I'll even wrap myself in a towel until I can put something on at home."
Rachel exaggerates a sigh, and then turns around to keep searching. She eventually locates one of her old NYADA t-shirts, worn and faded. She's sure it even has a few holes in it, but, once Quinn slips it on over her ridiculously toned body, it's suddenly the greatest item of clothing Rachel owns.
"I don't think you're ever getting this back," Quinn tells her. "It smells like you."
"I'm surprised it doesn't smell old and musty," she says. "I don't think I've worn it since I was pregnant with Max."
"I'm pretty sure I have none of the clothes from when I was pregnant," Quinn says, running her fingers through her hair like a makeshift comb.
Rachel traps her bottom lip between her teeth, looking thoughtful. "Would you ever want to be pregnant again?"
Quinn blinks. "Are you asking if I want more children?" she asks.
Rachel can't look at her as she nods her head yes.
"It's funny you should ask, because I've been experiencing a rather intense case of baby fever since I met Little Bug."
"So, that's a yes?"
Quinn nods. "I always thought I would have more, one day," she admits. "Just had to find the right person, because going at it alone is barely doable with just the one. You, my dear, are a fucking Saint."
Rachel seems to ignore her. "Are you saying you want more of - of your own?"
"Are you trying to ask me if I'm hesitant to consider your sons as my own the further we go in this relationship?"
"Something like that, yes."
Quinn steps right into her personal space, her hands reaching out to touch. "I'm not at all hesitant," she says. "I'm looking forward to everything our future has in store for all of us. Your boys, my boy, our boys."
Rachel kisses her, hard and sudden, fingers gripping her sides and nails digging in. She's trying to tell her something very, very important, and Quinn is hearing her.
They're both panting when they break apart, and Quinn is so tempted to go in for more. And more.
But Rachel pushes on her chest, putting some space between them, and says, "Pizza, and our boys."
Quinn absolutely loves her.
Marley stays for dinner at Quinn's insistence.
"There's plenty of pizza to go around," she says, taking out glasses from a top cabinet. "And, from what I've been told, there's a particular duet I'm expecting to hear tonight."
"Oh, my God," Marley says, covering her face. "Did Rachel tell you about that?"
"It's a free concert, as far as I'm aware," she answers with a shrug. "Horatio and the rat are also planning something, so I reckon I'm in for a treat."
"What about you?" Marley asks. "I suspect you play down your singing ability."
Quinn laughs. "Or I'm just trying to save you all from a nightmare."
"There you go again."
Quinn rolls her eyes and says, "Make yourself useful and get the juice out of the fridge."
Marley just laughs, and then does as instructed, the two of them preparing dinner alone while Rachel oversees the tail end of bath time. The house is gloriously alive, and Quinn wishes she could take a snapshot of just what she's feeling in this moment. Keep it forever.
"Quinn?"
"Hmm?"
"You're old now, right?"
Quinn glances at her. "I'm not sure where you're going with this," she says, looking sceptical.
"I mean, you're sure of yourself and all that," Marley clarifies.
Quinn blinks. "Well, I'm of the belief you're constantly learning about yourself, but I guess you could say that. It seems as if there's something very particular you want to ask, though."
Marley looks momentarily panicked, like a deer caught in the headlights, but she eventually settles, her fingers nervously fidgeting in front of her. "Is it worth it?" she asks.
"Is what worth it?"
"It."
Quinn breathes out, not entirely sure just what she's being asked. It could be a handful of things, based on her unknown career or life as a mother, but she has an inkling it's more to do with the relationship neither she nor Rachel has confirmed.
Which makes her response very easy.
"Yes."
Marley considers her answer for a long moment, and then smiles. "Okay."
"You good?"
She nods. "I'm good," she declares, which is just in time to welcome a running Lex, a stumbling Hugo, an excited Max and a super hot, crazy adorable Rachel into the kitchen.
Quinn has a problem.
Well, she has a litany or problems, but the number one being that she wants. It's desperate, bubbling within her and making her borderline delirious with something like happiness.
"Quinn," Rachel says, getting her attention.
"Hmm?"
"Is something wrong?"
"No," she answers, and she means every word. "Nothing is wrong. It's - it's all just so right."
Rachel grins at her, and then kisses her cheek. "You're being cute," she murmurs.
"I thought I was always cute," Quinn pouts.
"You're definitely something."
Quinn's eyes darken almost immediately, and Rachel looks entirely too pleased with herself. Quinn wants to reach out and touch her, but she restrains herself. "Dinner's ready," she says instead.
They pile up their plates with the various slices of the pizzas she and Rachel picked up on their way from one house to the other. They encountered Blaine while they waited for their order, and Rachel was more polite with him than she's been with any of her other friends.
Quinn suspects Rachel could be worried about it all getting back to Kurt, and possibly Santana, but she looks very relaxed in this moment. Excited, almost, and Quinn realises it's because of the music.
The way Rachel transforms when she talks about it, casually coaching Marley through a tricky part to the song they're planning on performing, and the way she closes her eyes to listen to the notes.
She's beautiful.
And, when Rachel and Marley eventually get around to singing New York State of Mind, their voices distinct next to each other but blending so well together; Quinn knows, without a doubt, that she will do whatever she has to, to make sure these two otherworldly talented brunettes reach for and actually achieve their dreams.
Even if she has to set herself on fire to make it happen. Which, yes, is as sobering a thought as she's ever had.
It helps, though, when Hugo and Lex finally take centre stage with a ridiculous rendition of the theme song from Phineas and Ferb.
Quinn reckons she'll never need another reminder of just how in love she is with her life ever again.