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Chapter 3: McKinley 101
Finn stood up to get the door, and a couple of seconds later, they heard voices. Finn came back into the living room, this time followed by Quinn, Brittany, Santana, Artie, Flint, Luke, Jeff, and James. Brittany ran over to the loveseat, where Blaine and Kurt were, and jumped into his lap, before giving Kurt a kiss on the cheek. The other Warblers stared, while Blaine simply chuckled, since Kurt had told him about his "straight" phase.
Brittany smiled at him. "I missed you dolphin, every since you went and lived at Hogwarts with the other birdies. But now, you have your own curly dolphin." She turned to Blaine. "I like you curly dolphin, but if you hurt my dolphin, I will not like you so much. He has soft baby hands and was a great boyfriend the week we dated, when he wasn't capital-G gay."
Blaine smiled at the girl, while the other Warblers simply looked confused. "I wouldn't dream of it Brittany."
"Um, why does she call you a dolphin Kurt?" Jeff looked confused.
"Brittany is very innocent. She views the world in a special way. She calls me her dolphin, since she says dolphins are gay sharks. It's her way of talking about anyone that is gay. Though she doesn't mean it maliciously." Kurt whispered to the Warblers.
"So," Santana said, smirking at the Warblers. "How many of these prep-boys that you hang out with Porcelain, aren't gay?"
Kurt sighed. "The only ones who are gay are me, Blaine, Nick, and Jeff. Though Wes is in love with his gavel and has a 'bro-mance' with David. Don't scare them too much Satan, they aren't used to girls."
The Warblers looked uneasily at each other. What had they gotten into?
The doorbell rang again and Finn went to answer it. This time, he came back with Rachel, Puck, Sam, Mike, Tina, Mercedes, Lauren, Wes, David, Seth, Nick, Ethan, Cameron, and Trent.
"So," Kurt said, standing up. "Now that everyone is here, we can start our Surviving McKinley: 101 lesson."
"Kurt," Wes broke in. "I love that you are doing this for us, but I think we will be fine. After all, McKinley is just another school. It can't be that much different from Dalton."
The New Directions, along with Blaine, Kurt, Nick, and Jeff chuckled to themselves.
"That's why I need to do this for you guys." Kurt explained. "None of you, with the exception of Blaine, Nick, and Jeff, have ever been to a public school before. You have no idea how it works. The biggest thing you have to worry about is bullying. This can include things as big as dumpster tosses, though I highly doubt anyone will have to deal with that, and being locked in a porta potty, to slushy facials."
"What's a slushy facial?" Ethan asked.
"At McKinley, they sell slushies for ninety-nine cents in the cafeteria. The jocks like to buy them, and throw them in the faces of losers, like us glee kids." Mercedes explained.
"It feels like being bitch-slapped by an iceberg." Kurt elaborated. "But don't worry, us glee kids always help the others clean each other off. But always have a change of clothes in your locker."
By now, the Warblers were starting to get concerned. What did Kurt deal with at this school?
"There are also performance numbers." Rachel continued. "We always perform in public spaces, but the other students aren't very accepting of us."
"I had a shoe thrown at me." Mike deadpanned.
"But," Tina said, grinning. "It's not all bad. The New Directions are a family. We are always there when someone has a problem. Like when Quinn was pregnant last year, and we sang to her. If someone is slushied, and a New Direction is nearby, they will help clean the other off."
Kurt now turned to the Warblers, a serious expression on his face. "I know you guys, and I know you will try to stand up to the Neanderthals for what happened to me. Don't. Blaine, I'm looking at you." His boyfriend smiled sheepishly. "They are all bigger than you, and challenging them will only make it worse. I'm looking to make it through this week in one piece, thank you very much."
"But," Sam said, eager to change the conversation to a more happier topic. "You will be fine if you listen to what we say. You can talk to any of the New Directions, not just your host, and we'll make sure you are doing fine. You're Kurt's friends, and you took care of him for the past few months, we want to thank you for that."
Kurt blushed embarrassingly, as the other New Directions shot out their agreements. Blaine looked at his boyfriend. "Okay, let's not embarrass Kurt too much."
Kurt smiled thankfully at his boyfriend, before standing up. "Thank you Blaine. I vote that we play Truth or Dare, so both groups can get to know each other."
The group nodded their affirmatives and organized into a circle, before looking to Kurt.
"We should set down some ground rules. First, don't do anything that can get you into too much trouble with my parents. Carole is in the other room, and Dad is coming home any time now. Second, no skipping truths or dares. And third, no repeats. You have to be original. That sound good?"
The group nodded their agreements, and Quinn spoke up. "You should go first Kurt, since it was your idea."
Everyone else nodded and cheered, until Kurt finally relented. "Okay fine, I'll go. Wes, Truth or Dare?"
Wes grinned. "Dare. I'm not scared."
Kurt smirked. "Relinquish control of your gavel for the rest of the week. I know you brought it. Though why, I don't know."
Wes groaned but handed the gavel over anyway, to a smirking Kurt who then pocketed it.
"You'll get it back next week when we return to Dalton, Wesley."
"This is what I get for choosing a dare with Kurt Hummel, don't I?" Wes muttered to David, who just nodded. He surveyed the room, before pointing at Quinn. "You, my good lady, Truth or Dare."
Quinn thought for a second, before choosing. "Truth. And my name is Quinn."
Wes nodded. "Okay Quinn, tell us an interesting or embarrassing story about Kurt when he was in the New Directions."
Kurt groaned. "This is what I get for taking your gavel away, isn't it Wes?"
Wes just grinned like a maniac.
Quinn thought for a second, before lighting up. "I've got one. Last year, our glee club director, Mr. Schue, brought back April Rhodes for the glee club. She was a senior when he was a freshman, and had never graduated high school. None of us were very excited about her, so she made it her mission to win us all over. She taught Mercedes and Tina to shoplift, and slept with the boys. She ended up giving Kurt muscle magazines and alcohol, telling him it was 'liquid courage'." Kurt groaned, knowing where this story was going. The rest of the Warblers listened interested, except for Blaine, who already knew the story. "He came to school drunk, and approached our school guidance counselor, Ms. Pillsbury, who's the biggest germaphobe ever. He barfed on her and said, 'oh, Bambi. I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy'. She had to have about four decontamination showers after that."
"And that's why I didn't drink at Rachel's party." Kurt commented, amidst the chuckles of the Warblers.
Quinn looked among the group, contemplating who to pick. Finally, she settled on Jeff.
"Blondie, Truth or Dare?"
Jeff thought for a second, before grinning. "My name is Jeff, and Truth. I want to see if we can embarrass Kurt more."
Kurt dropped his face into his hands, groaning, as Quinn smiled. "What is the story behind the Warblers Gap Attack? Neither Kurt nor Blaine will tell us, deeming it 'too embarrassing'."
Jeff smirked. "Well, back around Valentine's Day, Blainey here told the Warblers he wanted to serenade his crush. All of us assumed he meant Kurt, since they so obviously liked one another, so of course we agreed. Turns out, Blaine's crush was the junior manager at the Gap, but since we had already agreed, we couldn't back out. Blaine chose Robin Thicke's When I Get You Alone, which wasn't a really appropriate song to sing in public, but being the good friends we are, we agreed. We ended up performing, and Blaine's crush turned him down because he got outed and fired, and it would be illegal for him to date Blaine. And that's where the Lonely Hearts Dinner came from."
Blaine was flushing with embarrassment, while the New Directions were laughing.
"So," Santana smirked. "Can we get a reenactment?"
"But that has nothing to do with the Truth—" Blaine began to protest.
"Everyone wants too see it Blaine, and the rest of us want to do it. Just imagine you're singing it to Kurt." Wes interrupted him. "Now get to your spot."
Blaine (Warblers):
Vum Vum Vum Vum
Vum Vum Vum Vum
Oooooooh (Vara Varam)
Baby girl, where you at?
Got no strings, got men attached (Vara Varam)
Can't stop that feelin' for long, no.
Mmmm (Vara Varam) you makin' dogs wanna beg
Breaking them off your fancy legs (Vara Varam)
But they make you feel right at home, now
See, all these illusions just take us too long
And I want it bad
Because you walk pretty
Because you talk pretty
'Cause you make me sick
And I'm not leavin'
Till you're leavin'
Oh, I swear, there's something when she's pumpin' asking for a raise
Well, does she want me to carry her home, now?
So, does she want me to buy her things?
On my house, on my job
On my loot, shoes, my shirt
My crew, my mind, my father's last name?
When I get you alone
When I get you, you'll know, baby
When I get you alone
When I get you alone (Vara Varam)
(Ooohh ohhh) Come on (Ooohh ohhh)
Oh yeah-yeah (Vara Varam)
Baby girl, you the shhh
That makes you my equivalent (Vara Varam)
Well, you can keep your toys in the drawer tonight
Alright (Vara Varam)
All my dawgs talkin' fast—
Aint you got some photographs? (Vara Varam)
'Cause you shook that room like a star, now
Yes you did
Yes you did
All these intrusions just take us too long
And I want you so bad
Because you walk steady
Because you talk steady
'Cause you make me sick
And I'm not leavin', till you're leavin'
So, I pray to something she ain't bluffin'
Rubbin' up on me.
Well, does she want me to make a vow?
Check it
Well, does she want me to make it now?
On my house, on my job
On my loot, shoes, my voice
My crew, my mind, my father's last name?
When I get you alone
When I get you, you'll know baby
I get you alone
When I get you alone (Vara Varam)
(Vara Varam Vara Varam Vam Vam Vam Vam Vam) Whoah oh
When I get you alone (Yeeaaahhh; Vara Varam)
Songs Used:
When I Get You Alone: Glee Cast
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