part one
"Are you mad?!" she hollered, before he urgently shushed her. She lowered her voice to an angry whisper instead. "You can't leave. That's suicide!"
They were crammed inside a broom closet on the Star Destroyer. She had been walking back towards her bunk in the Lower Quarters when he grabbed her and pulled her into the dimly lit closet.
"Come with me," he replied.
"No! What's gotten into you?"
He removed his white helmet and leaned in closer. "It was my first time being deployed today."
"You really shouldn't take that off," she said. She'd done it far too many times before and gotten her fair share of punishments. But the way he was looking at her now, seeing the determination in his eyes, she knew that there was no changing his mind.
"I can't just kill innocent lives. I don't want to be a pawn for the First Order anymore. I watched BD-1909 die in my arms, and no one cares! Phasma is already onto me, she'll have me executed for not firing my blaster tonight. A whole village, did you hear? He ordered an entire village to be slaughtered, like it was nothing." His hushed voice cracked at the end. He grabbed both of her hands and she could feel him trembling.
"If Phasma knows, then you need to go now," she said. "But I can't go with you."
"We'll run away, far, far from here. We'll try to find our families, yeah? We can go wherever you want, just please, Rey."
"Shh!" She cautiously peered through the small slits in the closet door. The coast was clear. "I worked so hard for this, you know I have. I trained and slaved away in order to be a fighter pilot. I can't risk my job if we get caught."
Finally, he sighed. "Alright, fine. But how am I going to escape if I can't fly a ship?"
She perked up, remembering the rebel prisoner they dragged in earlier. "I know where you can find a pilot."
She led him upstairs to the interrogation room where the prisoner was still strapped in. Standing before the door, she glanced down both ends of the hallway before quickly giving him a hug. "I'll miss you," she whispered.
He held her tightly. "One last chance to change your mind?"
She stepped away and shook her head. She tapped the nose of his helmet. "Stay safe, okay?"
And that was the last time she thought she would ever see FN-2187 again.
But, alas.
Not even two minutes later, alarms rang out throughout the Star Destroyer. Captain Phasma's sinister voice came on over the intercom: "Backup personnel requested at the hangar bay immediately."
Turning on her heels, she sprinted towards the hangar. The scene that met her there stopped her in her tracks. The rebel pilot had managed to start the engines on a TIE fighter, but did not manage to detach from the landing dock. A growing crowd of Stormtroopers were shooting at the rogue fighter while the fighter's gunner (presumably FN-2187) shot back aimlessly. She groaned as she tried to fit in with the surrounding guards. How in the stars would she get him out of this one?
Then the guards readied the large turbo blasters, aiming the guns at the TIE fighter, which was still struggling in the air to rip away from the chain. She calculated the odds in her head. It was not good.
Suddenly, something flickered inside her. Sheer panic was settling in, but this flicker was something else. It was stronger than fear, stronger than anger. She thought, maybe if she had gone with him after all, maybe she could have pulled off the escape unscathed. If her best friend died because of this, she would never be able to forgive herself.
The small flicker she felt grew into a greater sensation that spread through her body, starting from her heart and pulsating down her limbs. It burned through her veins like fire. Her vision glowed red. She didn't remember ever feeling this before, and yet it was oddly familiar. As if the sparks had always been within her, but they were only now igniting into flames.
Somewhere nearby, General Hux called out the order for the turbo blasters to fire. The fighter surged into the air in one last attempt, but the chain remained in place, dragging them back.
She squeezed her eyes shut and the culminating energy shot out of her like an erupting volcano.
The power of it sent her stumbling back a few steps. When she opened her eyes, everything was in wreckage. The entire landing dock structure had fallen to pieces, which finally allowed the rebel pilot to speed out into space. The impact also knocked every other person in the hangar off their feet. Everyone looked around in confusion, murmuring to each other.
Frantically, she spun around the room. Maybe they won't know that it was her. Was it even her? Surely she wasn't capable of...whatever it was that just happened. But to her dismay, she soon realized that she was the only person still standing. Sadly, it was too late to dramatically drop to the floor and feign ignorance.
When she turned back towards Phasma, she felt her stomach drop in dread. Kylo Ren had appeared and both Phasma and Hux were speaking with him. She tried to use this opportunity to slip away, but right at that moment, Phasma turned and pointed straight at her.
"Step closer." Kylo's voice was deep and reverential. Not loud, but impossible to miss.
She took a tentative step in his direction.
"That was an order, JA-0946!" Phasma barked at her angrily.
She hurried the rest of the way until she stood before Phasma, Hux, and Kylo. Instinctively, she assumed her "being reprimanded" posture—feet together, hands clasped together in front of her, head looking down.
Through the corner of her mask, she saw Phasma pull up her files on her datapad. "JA-0946, nineteen years of age, fighter pilot. She has seven previous infractions: four for removing her helmet without permission, two for referring to herself by name, and one for flying a fighter without authorization."
"How did someone who flew a fighter without authorization end up becoming a pilot?" Kylo asked. She raised her head to sneak a glance at him. He almost sounded impressed.
"Well..." Phasma hesitated, like it pained her to say this, "...she was quite good at it."
"Anything else?" Kylo asked. He began to walk a circle around her, scrutinizing her up and down. She fidgeted under his gaze.
"She was in the same cohort as the defector who escaped, FN-2187. They trained together their whole lives."
"She must be executed at once," Hux said. "Look what she did! She damaged the entire hangar and helped the Resistance hostage escape!"
But Kylo was not paying attention to Hux, he was only focused on her. "Did you really do this?"
All of a sudden, he stuck his hand out towards her head and she felt an uncomfortable pulling sensation in her brain, like he was trying to suck her thoughts out. She'd seen him do this before, but had been fortunate enough to have never been on the receiving end until now. She strained against the pressure.
Then just like that, it was over. He brought his hand back down and the pulling sensation disappeared. Her shoulders sagged as she caught her breath.
"I'll handle it from here," Kylo said curtly before he grabbed her wrist and walked off with her in tow. She blindly stumbled after him, needing to slightly jog in order to keep up with his large, fast strides.
Behind them, Phasma and Hux protested but Kylo ignored them. His grip on her wrist was surprisingly gentle.
He led them towards his personal ship, parked on the other side of the hangar. Thankfully, it remained intact. As they passed the other Knights, Kylo nodded towards them. "Take us back to Starkiller."
The Knights and several officers scrambled onto the ship, preparing it for travel. She followed Kylo towards the back of the ship where there was a private room lined with shiny black walls and red leather seats. With a wave of his hand, the sliding doors closed behind them.
Her heart raced at the prospect of being alone in close proximity to Kylo Ren. She had never spoken to him before, but the rumors whispered by other Stormtroopers terrified her. This man was notoriously ruthless, heartless, and the strongest Force user after Snoke himself. She would take Phasma berating her any day over facing the wrath of this man.
"Take off your helmet," he said.
She didn't need to be told twice. She hated wearing the damn helmet, it felt like there was never enough air to breathe. Still, she did not trust him. After releasing the airlock and slipping the helmet off her head, she gave him a wary look. "Why?"
"So I can see if you're telling the truth."
"Why don't you just do the mind reading thing again?" She raised her hand to his face, copying his previous move. His hand caught around her wrist and pulled her hand back down. She immediately looked away, regretting her actions. Now she's done for, gone on and mocked him like the idiot that she was.
If he was offended, he didn't show it. "Was this the first time you used the Force?"
She opened her mouth but didn't know what to say. Up until now, she had avoided thinking about what it was, but now he's said it aloud and there's no point in denying it. She was one with the Force. And if she was really honest with herself, she had always known this, deep inside.
"Yes." Her response came out barely more than an exhale.
"All these years, it has been hidden inside you," he said, "waiting to finally be awakened. I've never seen anything like it."
The ship jolted slightly as it lifted into the air, flying out of the Destroyer hangar. Soon, the ship jumped into lightspeed.
Nervously, she wrapped her arms around her helmet in front of her chest. "So, am I in trouble? Another thirty electric lashes?"
"No," he replied quickly. "In fact, you will never be punished by Phasma again. I'm relieving you of your Stormtrooper duties."
"What? Then what will I do?"
"You will work for me. I'll help you, I'll teach you how to use the Force." He stepped closer, leaning down to stare intently at her. "I'll show you everything you want to know."
It was too surreal. For her entire life, only three good things have happened. The first was meeting FN-2187. The second was passing the aptitude test to be assigned to a Star Destroyer, rather than stuck on patrol duty on some destitute planet. The third was becoming a fighter pilot, because she had never felt as free as when she was flying. But Kylo's offer was a level of freedom she never even dared dream of.
"How do I know you're telling the truth?" Her breath trembled as she spoke.
She hadn't expected him to, but he removed his mask and she saw his face for the first time. Long black hair, darker than his cape. Lips pressed into a permanent frown. But his eyes...they were tired, yet they were kind. Where she expected malice, she saw the earnest truth.
They consulted with Snoke. Hux wanted the girl executed. Kylo wanted to make her an apprentice.
"She is untrained, but she is strong, I could feel it," Kylo explained. "She brings so much potential to the First Order."
"Yes, I could sense it through the Force. Train her, then bring her to me. I worry for her draw to the light." Snoke paused before narrowing his gaze onto Kylo. "I worry for you, as well."
For the next two days, he taught her in his personal training room. It was in his private chambers on Starkiller Base, under an obscene amount of security, including a special set of doors which could only be opened with the Force. Trust was not a First Order virtue.
They stood on opposite sides of a steel table. He placed a mug in the center of the table. "Focus."
She zeroed in on the ceramic mug, felt the Force grow from her core, and willed it to pull the mug towards her. The mug began to shake, creating a soft tapping sound against the table. Ever so slightly, it lifted in the air and—smash! The mug burst into pieces.
He waved all the stray shards off the table and into the bin beside it, which was already half full of other broken mugs.
She huffed in frustration and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Can't we do something else?"
"No. You need to refine the raw energy inside you. This is the first step." He placed a new mug on the table.
Leaning onto her elbows on the table, she rested her chin in her hands. "All I do is destroy," she muttered.
He didn't say anything and she thought maybe he didn't hear her, but when she glanced up, he was looking at her with a strange expression. Almost endearing. He always took his mask off when they were alone together in the training room. She preferred it this way, but it also made her wonder if that was why he wore the mask in the first place: to hide his eyes.
He moved to her side of the table, reaching his hands towards her before stopping. "May I?" he asked.
She nodded and he stepped behind her, gently placing three gloved fingers on each temple at the sides of her head. "Try again."
She narrowed her eyes, focusing on the mug. The tips of his gloves were cool against her skin. She beckoned the Force and all too soon, it was swelling uncontrollably inside her until—
"Stop." His hands abruptly clamped down on her shoulders, pressing downwards. The surge inside her simmered out. The mug remained in one piece, for now.
With a deep breath, she turned around to face him with a questioning look. "So what am I doing wrong?"
"You are afraid," he said. "Your mind keeps going back to when you first used the Force."
His words brought back the memory of watching the TIE struggle and watching the turbo blasters prepare to obliterate the ship and her best friend into smithereens. She thought of all the times she had wanted to run away when she was younger, when the training had exhausted her to the bones, when she cried silently at night missing her parents who she couldn't even remember. She only stayed because she knew the First Order would find her and they would kill her, shooting her in the back while she was still running. This perpetual fear, it shaped her entire being.
"You don't have to be scared anymore," he continued. "Leave the past behind you. No more rules, no more commands, no more pain. Your life will be better now. I promise."
She tilted her head to the side, scrutinizing him. "You can't promise that."
"I can." His voice was steady and confident. No one has ever protected her. The only reason she's made it this far was her own tenacity and willpower. Who knew her guardian angel would come in form of a villain in disguise?
"What's your name?" he suddenly asked.
She froze. "JA-0946."
"No, your name." The edge of his lip quirked up, amused. "That was one of your infractions, right? You referred to yourself by name."
The last time she got caught for it, she got fifty electric lashes to her forearms. It took three days for her hands to stop shaking afterwards. But now, under the security of his new promise, she felt the courage to say it once more. "Rey. I don't remember where I came from and I don't remember what my parents look like, but I remember my name. It's the only thing I have left."
"A name is a powerful thing," he agreed.
They were interrupted by Hux's voice through the intercom. "We tracked the droid."
He grabbed his mask and briskly walked to the door, undoing the multiple levels of security. Just as he was about to step out, he turned towards her expectantly. "Well, are you coming, Rey?"
She quickly ran after him, hiding a secret smile as he led her through the winding corridors. She just might follow this man anywhere in the galaxy.
They boarded one of the transports along with the Knights. She saw the Knights in passing, but they never spoke to her. On the other hand, General Hux spoke to her far too much. His holo was projected inside the transport as he updated Kylo on the success of the Starkiller in annihilating Hosnian Prime. His eyes flickered to the side when he caught sight of her standing behind Kylo.
"Excuse me, who gave you clearance to leave?" Hux yelled.
"I did," Kylo replied. "She's coming with me."
Hux balked at this. "You're taking her? Out onto Takodana? She is nowhere near prepared for a field mission!"
"Do you command this ship or do I?" Kylo shot back before pressing a button to shut off Hux's projection.
As the transport descended into the trees, she peered out the window in awe at the surroundings. She pressed a hand against the cold glass. "I didn't know there was this much green in the whole galaxy."
When she finally looked away, Kylo was wordlessly staring at her with that strange expression again. He has done this a lot ever since they first met. Staring at her like she was wonderfully mad.
After they landed, she leaned over to him as they waited for the walkway to lower. "Why do we need this droid?"
"It has the map to Luke Skywalker."
"You mean he's real?" she asked. "The Jedi are real?"
"Of course they are."
Outside, there was already a battle ensuing before a collapsing building. She stood on her tip toes, trying to see who the Stormtroopers were fighting against. Was this the Resistance? She had never seen them in person before.
"The Resistance is loyal to a nostalgic past but ignorant to its flaws," Kylo explained. "Do you know how many famines there were under the New Republic? Planets were starving to death because wealthy politicians couldn't negotiate a trade deal. Under our Supreme Leader, the First Order will bring unprecedented prosperity and order to the galaxy. But the Resistance refuses to let the past die."
She heard the relentless fervor in his voice. She was familiar with this doctrine, but rarely heard anyone speak of it with such conviction.
His hand rested on her shoulder, pushing her back down firmly on her heels. "Try to sense the droid, Rey. Find it with your mind."
She closed her eyes and felt the Force expand across the forest. But then there was a loud cry and she opened her eyes to see an explosion that sent bodies flying. She closed her eyes again, restarting her search. but the battle kept distracting her. So many were dying.
Then, she felt a strong bond in the Force connecting into the battlefield. Kylo was looking out into the distance. His hand, still on her shoulder, squeezed tighter. She found who he was looking at, an old man standing next to a Wookie. The old man similarly stood entranced, staring back.
"Kylo?" she asked tentatively, touching his elbow. His grip on her shoulder was starting to hurt her.
The connection quickly snapped and he let go of her. He turned away, marching into the forest. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her along. She looked back over her shoulder before they slipped into the trees. The man was still watching them. But she could tell he was hoping it was someone else who looked back.
Deeper in the forest, she could finally sense it. He gave her a silent nod and ran off further ahead. They were going to trap the rebel and the droid from both directions.
The rebel saw Kylo first, then Rey. He raised his blaster and she raised hers. Kylo activated his lightsaber.
"Who's this, your new girlfriend?" the rebel jeered.
"Give me the droid," Kylo demanded.
The rebel looked back and forth between them. He switched to point his blaster at Rey, then back at Kylo, then back at Rey.
Finally, the rebel made up his mind who to shoot at and she ducked just in time, feeling the blaster bolt skim by above her head. She started to panic. Hux was right, she was not ready for this. A day and a half of training and shattering her way through the cafeteria's entire mug set did not prepare her for this. She was better at shooting from a fighter; this was much too close for comfort.
As Kylo and the rebel continued dueling, she caught sight of the droid hiding behind a bush. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and focused. Gentle, gentle, she repeated to herself. But all too soon, the energy gathered inside her much too strong. She opened her eyes, trying to stop it, but it was too late. The force emanated out of her uncontrollably.
"No!" Kylo sent a strong wave over to her, knocking her backwards. It also shifted her focus just enough that it was a nearby boulder that exploded, instead of the droid. The giant rock blew apart to pieces.
One of the pieces hit the rebel in the head. He fell to the ground, unconscious. She slowly walked closer, until she could see the slight movements of his chest rising and falling. She breathed a small sigh of relief.
Kylo had managed to immobilize the droid. He picked it up awkwardly from the ground before shoving it to her arms. He marched back towards the transport without another word. He didn't scold her for almost destroying their only source of valuable intel. She almost wished he had. She hung her head and followed him back out of the forest, carrying the lifeless droid.
The battle still continued as they returned. She nearly tripped when she saw who was now leading the charge for the Resistance. There, wielding a blue lightsaber, was none other than her best friend. For a split second, she was ecstatic to learn that FN-2187 was alive and well. Then, that joy was replaced by overwhelming dread. What was he doing here? And where the hell did he get an old Jedi lightsaber?
At that moment, he looked up and locked eyes with her across the field. They both froze. Two best friends, both finally out of their Stormtrooper suits, both suddenly thrust on on opposite sides of the war.
Giving FN-2187 an apologetic look, she ran after Kylo. She reached up and tapped the back of his shoulder. "Kylo, are they going to stop?"
"Stop?"
"We have the droid now," she said. "They can stop fighting?"
When he turned around and spoke to her, all kindness had disappeared from his voice. This was not the same man who saw the fear inside her and promised a better life. This was the tyrant she had grown up fearing most of all. "I overlooked your role in helping the traitor escape. I will not overlook a second misstep."
Their transport departed from the planet. Still holding the droid, her arms encircling its spherical base, she walked close to the window and watched more and more people die. She prayed on the stars that FN-2187 was safe. She kept watching until they were high enough that she could no longer make out the individual figures. She kept watching until a fleet of Resistance jets appeared over the horizon.
Back on the Starkiller, Kylo took off walking faster than ever, in a manner that implied he did not want her to follow. "What about the droid?" she called out.
"Take it to the lab," he replied bluntly.
She began walking to the lab but then hesitated. She headed down a separate walkway to find Hux. He was surprised to see her come up to him and even more surprised to her carrying the coveted droid.
"There was a man, back there in the battle. Part of the group that had the droid. He kept looking at Kylo and Kylo kept looking back. Do you know who he is?"
The general's face lit up in a sinister grin. "Oh, you don't know. That man is Han Solo."
She balked at the name of the legendary smuggler and pilot. But then she shook her head. "Why does Kylo care about an old Rebellion war hero?"
Hux leaned in closer, so the passing guards and officers couldn't overhear. "Because that's his father."
She thought about it all the way to the lab. The lab was empty except for two analytical bots. She set the droid down on an examination table and then softly placed her hand against its white and orange base. Kylo would be outraged if he knew what she was doing, yet curiosity got the better of her.
Gentle. Gentle. Patience. She breathed deeply, reaching out to find the Force a different way, without fear. She remembered the beauty of the trees, the fresh scent of the air, the gentle breeze on that sunny day.
This time, the Force left her palm in a soft caress, rather than its usual punch. The droid lit up, beeping awake.
She laughed in amazement, clutching her hands to her chest. For the first time since she's discovered the Force, she had fixed something rather than damaged it.
The droid immediately rolled down from the table, landing with a small bounce, and whirred in circles around the room. Thankfully, the door was closed and out of reach for the small droid. After knocking over several stools and stands, it burrowed underneath the table, hiding behind some toolboxes. She sat down in front of it. "Hey. I won't hurt you. I promise."
The droid's head moved side to side, scrutinizing her. She scooted closer underneath the table. She noticed its antenna was bent, so she helped straighten it. The droid beeped back in appreciation.
"Can you tell me what it's like?" she whispered. "The Resistance?"
Leia was at Poe's side when he woke up in the med bay back at the Resistance base. He was already talking a mile a minute before the nurse could finish wrapping the bandage around his head. "General, I saw him."
She nodded gravely and sighed. "Yes, Han told me."
"And the girl," he added.
"Girl? What girl?"
"She's a Force user, and a strong one at that. She did this to me!" He gestured to his bloody, heavily bandaged head.
"Another Force user?" Leia looked away, her eyes flickering back and forth rapidly, deep in thought. "Do you have any idea who she is?"
"Her name is Rey." Finn walked up to them, answering her previous question. "Or JA-0946, technically. We grew up together. She's never shown signs of the Force before, but the other day...I thought it was too crazy to be true, but I think she caused that big explosion that let us escape to Jakku."
"Then it proves that she's trained," Poe continued, "but I'll admit she scares the shit out of me. Now that he's taken her under his wing, General, what the hell are we going to do? The First Order has Snoke and two strong Force users and the map to Luke and...and we have nothing."
"Not nothing," Finn said. He handed Leia a lightsaber hilt which she could recognize from anywhere. "Maz gave this to me."
She looked at him and at his eager eyes and could sense the subtle pull of his own Force energy. It was diminished from years of suppression, but his heart was pure. You can always train power, but it was impossible to change someone's heart. (Almost impossible.)
She handed the lightsaber back to him.
The lieutenant brought up the projection of the map recovered from the droid. They were inside the bridge of Starkiller Base and all the officials gathered to inspect the map.
"This is it?" Kylo said, walking around the projection. "The map is incomplete."
"This is all that was contained on the chip," the lieutenant confirmed. "We ran a comparison and these planet systems do not match anything in our database. We believe the Resistance may have the rest of the map."
In a rage, Kylo raised his hand and the lieutenant as lifted out of his seat, fighting against the Force's stranglehold on him.
Hux stepped forward. "So, it is a good thing then, that we have discovered the Resistance base's location."
Kylo hated when this happened. When Hux gloated because he had more information, always trying to undermine Kylo's authority. With a flick of his fingers, he released his hold on the lieutenant who fell back onto the floor. Hux stepped over the lieutenant and brought up a different holo projection: the planet D'Qar.
Standing up straighter, Kylo barked out his orders. "I will retrieve the rest of the map and then we destroy the entire planet."
"And what of the rebels?" Hux intentionally said this to push him. They both knew that both of Kylo's parents were likely on D'Qar.
If he didn't have his mask on, his face might have betrayed him. But here, through his mask, his response was curt and cold. "Take no survivors."
He spun on his heels and stormed out of the room. Emotions swirled in disarray inside him; this was his biggest weakness, Snoke had said. Always so quick to anger, so furious that it blinded him. But underneath the anger was a deep ache, constantly gnawing at him. An ache threatening to overpower the anger, threatening to tear him apart.
When he reached his chambers, he hastily waved his arms to bypass the security protocols. The second the doors shut behind him, he ripped off his helmet and threw it against the wall. He stood there fuming, staring at the floor.
After a few tense moments, his raging thoughts were interfered by a soft tapping against his shoulder. He looked over and was surprised to see, of all things, a mug with a hot, blue liquid floating steadily in midair.
He hadn't noticed she was in the room until now. She walked over, barely able to contain the beaming smile across her face. He could feel the happiness radiating from her. His anger gradually fizzled out.
He grabbed the mug from where it floated and wrapped his hands around it. The warmth was calming. "I haven't had warm milk since I was a child."
She grinned. "I could sense you were upset. And warm milk fixes everything."
"My mother used to say that." The words slipped out before he could stop it. The deep ache returned.
She reached out, as if to touch his arm, but then pulled back. "Your father is the famous war hero from the Rebellion and your mother is...?"
"The Republic's favorite princess."
Her eyes widened and her mouth narrowed into a small 'oh'.
"How did you..." she struggled to find the words to ask the question he knew she wanted to ask. "How did you first learn to use the Force, then? Who trained you?"
The ache was growing stronger. He fought the urge to crush the mug with his hands. "Snoke did," he lied.
"Right. We don't have to talk about that." She pointed emphatically to the mug in his hands, the mug that was most definitely still in one piece, despite both of their destructive tendencies.
He drank the milk from the mug and wiped his mouth against his sleeve, something his mother would have yelled at him for. Rey let out a small chuckle at his boyish actions. "You did...uh, good." His words were painfully awkward. He'd spent so long with Snoke and the First Order, he'd forgotten how to give compliments.
Hearing his awkward compliment and seeing his perplexed expression, she tilted her head back and laughed.
He'd forgotten what actual laughter sounded like, too.
The plan was to get the droid and blow up the Starkiller.
Leia watched the Resistance pilots jump into their X-wings and fly up towards Starkiller Base. The last to depart was the Millennium Falcon. Finn, Han, and Chewie would be in charge of ground ops and rescuing BB-8.
"General," Finn said as he clutched the lightsaber tightly in his hands. "I still have no idea what I'm doing."
"What to know a secret? No one does," she replied with a smile. "Just trust your instincts."
Suddenly, Chewie called out from the cockpit. They all hurried inside as Poe's voice patched through: "Incoming TIE fighter."
They peered up towards the sky. A single black fighter was entering the atmosphere.
"Should I come back?" Poe asked. Then, there was the sound of gunfire in the background. The rest of the TIE fighters had launched to fend off the aerial attack.
"No, we need you to lead the squadrons. We need every one of you out there for this plan to work." Leia locked eyes with Han. "We can handle Ben."
Han nodded, placing one hand on Finn's shoulder and one on Chewie's arm. "You guys go. I'll stay."
He didn't take her with him this time. She was still a liability, sure, but his quest also seemed deeply personal.
As a result, she now lingered along the back of the bridge, watching the commotion as the generals and captains barked orders to the fighter pilots above. Hux kept screaming, his face turning redder than his hair. Monitors beeped and voices shouted over each other. Through the windows, there were bursts of explosions as yet another fighter was hit and engulfed in flames.
She felt all the sounds blur together and fade away. What were they even fighting for? Rushing to steal intel from each other, rushing to blow each other up first. The galaxy was so big; there was more than enough space for everyone. Yet both sides wanted to conquer it all.
Sometimes, she thought maybe everyone kept fighting in wars because they simply didn't know how to live without one.
All of a sudden, she was knocked off her feet as BB-8 came careening into the room, rolling between her legs. She stuck her hands out to catch herself using the Force.
"How did the droid get in here?!" Hux shrieked. "He was disabled!"
An analyst watching over the security cameras stood up. "The defector and the Wookie are in the west sector."
She got back to onto her feet as even greater havoc ensued. Hux ran after the droid who comically evaded his grasps. The droid found what he was looking for, retrieving the chip containing the map to Skywalker and inserting it back into its base. When Hux ran after it again, BB-8 came to a complete stop, causing Hux to trip over its body and fall headfirst into the laps of two analysts.
She pressed a hand to her mouth to hide her laughing. BB-8 whizzed by, giving her a friendly beep.
"Stop laughing and go after it!" Hux hollered.
The remaining Resistance members watched the Falcon lift off, passing by the TIE fighter as it landed before the base. They gathered inside the base, just behind the doors, holding weapons at the ready. But Leia held up her hand to hold fire. She peered through the viewfinder to watch her son outside, exiting from the fighter. Her heart grew heavy.
Han, alone, stood before him.
Rey sprinted after the runaway droid. She fired at it, but BB-8 expertly dodged everything. The droid led the chase outside. Just as she set foot onto the snow, she felt the ground tremble underneath. A huge explosion echoed through Starkiller Base and down to the planet's core.
The Resistance did it, she realized. She watched the X-wings fly off into the sky. They hit the oscillator.
Far up ahead, she could see the ship where the rebel was already waiting. Her heart sank when she realized it was FN-2187. He gestured wildly at BB-8 for it to hurry.
The droid continued rolling in the snow and she chased after it. She fired one last shot at the droid, finally hitting the target. The blaster bolt knocked off one of the side panels and sent BB-8 spiraling sideways into a snow bank. Rey sprinted towards the fallen droid. FN-2187 did the same.
The flicker grew strong within her once again.
The droid had fallen closer to him. He was going to beat her to it. She knew what she had to do.
BB-8 turned its head to look at her as inquisitively as an expressionless droid could. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I know I promised I wouldn't hurt you."
And then, she channeled the Force and struck the droid. It burst into a hundred pieces of shrapnel and wires. She immediately focused on one piece in particular, willing it to fly in her direction. She reached out and grabbed the chip from midair, still too fast for him to notice. All the scraps of the droid fell onto the soft snow and he let out a devastated cry.
He activated his lightsaber, which glowed brilliantly blue in the cold dusk, and charged at her. She made a note that Kylo really needed to get her one of those. He swung his saber at her. She moved to dodge, but it grazed the top of her right collarbone. She hissed in pain.
Using as much energy as she could muster, she thrust her hand out at him and the energy sent him flying back. His body hit a tree and the lightsaber dropped from his hand.
She dropped to her knees, breathing hard. Those consecutive Force moves had exhausted her. Still, she concentrated at where the lightsaber laid on the ground and called it towards her. Just as it began flying over in her direction, it halted and then went flying backwards as the Force tugged it back.
She gasped. FN-2187 could also use the Force. He stood with his hand outstretched pulling the lightsaber towards him. She remained kneeling in the snow, leaning forward with her own arm outstretched, pulling it back. It bobbled back and forth before slowly but surely drifting in her direction. He could also use the force, but she was stronger. She slowly rose to her feet and twisted her hand in a final pull.
Grabbing a hold of the lightsaber hilt, she activated it and ran towards him. The blue light reflected in his eyes. He looked around, defenseless.
Just before she struck him, he blurted out, "Did you know he used to be a Jedi?"
She paused, the lightsaber held high in her backswing. "What?"
"Kylo Ren," FN-2187 said. "Did you know Luke Skywalker trained him to be a Jedi?"
"You're lying." But her voice was uncertain.
"So he didn't tell you. What else hasn't he told you?"
She took a step closer. He didn't flinch. "Why did you join the Resistance? I thought you wanted to run far away from all of this."
"I go by Finn now," he said. "Remember when you gave me that name?"
She lowered the lightsaber, just slightly. It had been twelve years ago. She didn't think he would have remembered the secret name. She repeated her question. "Why did you join the Resistance?"
"I started to think, to really think, about what the First Order has done. You think they ever cared about any of us? They stole us from our families when we were children and trained us to be disposable soldiers."
She deactivated the lightsaber.
"At first, I just wanted to run away," he continued. "But then I met Poe and Han and Chewie and Leia and...and they were so full of hope. They made me believe a better life was possible, for all of us."
A better life. She was starting to understand what everyone was fighting for, after all. Ultimately, both sides just wanted a better life, but they had very different views on how to achieve it. So then, who was right?
The ground trembled again under their feet. They both toppled backwards. A large crack formed, splitting the ground right between them.
Taking the split second opportunity when she had dropped the lightsaber, he reached over to grab it and made a run back to the ship. However, he stopped after a few steps and turned back round. The crack on the ground grew wider, separating them. He reached out over the growing chasm to extend his hand.
"I don't know what lies Kylo Ren has been telling you, but there is more than one side to the Force," he said. "You don't have to do this, Rey."
She stared at him in awe. This man had worked as a janitor for years because he had been too scared to go into battle. The bravest she had ever seen him was when he pulled her into the broom closet to announce he was leaving. But, as it turned out, he has been nothing but brave ever since.
The Wookie came running from the building, shouting at Finn as he ran into the ship to take cover. Trees were starting to fall over.
"Do the right thing. Please," Finn begged, still holding out his hand.
She reached out and placed her hand in his. His face broke into a smile.
But then the ground beneath her lurched backwards and their hands separated over the growing distance. She quickly scrambled away from the ledge and ran back towards the base. When she looked back one last time, Finn was looking down at his hand.
The only thing Finn could salvage was BB-8's broken headpiece. The top was dented in and the camera was hanging out of the socket, but he figured Poe deserved to have at least a part of his beloved droid.
When we walked into the Falcon holding the head piece, Chewie let out a dejected cry.
"I know," Finn replied, "I will miss BB-8 too. But there's hope, Chewie. We have hope."
Chewie gave him a questioning look.
Slowly, Finn opened his fist to reveal the chip containing the map. It was still intact.
She paced back and forth on the Star Destroyer, waiting. Hux told her to stop several times, but she didn't listen. When Kylo finally returned, it quickly devolved a three-way screaming match.
"Why didn't you tell me you used to be a Jedi?" she asked.
He looked sharply at Hux, who only shook his head. "It seems that traitor FN-2187 had a chat with Rey. Before she let them get away, that is."
"You let them get away?!" Kylo yelled at her.
She recoiled. It was the first time he had ever raised his voice at her. "I didn't let them get away, the whole planet exploded!"
"And how did a measly squadron of rebel scum manage that?" Kylo turned back to Hux.
"Because you took too long!" Hux retorted. "Or did you want us to blast D'Qar while you were still on it? And you didn't even get the rest of the damn map!"
Briefly, she saw a flash of Kylo's memory. I know what I have to do...will you help me? It ended as abruptly as it appeared. She felt like she had been punched in the stomach. "...you killed your father?"
"Stay out of my thoughts!" he snapped at her.
"Oh, Snoke would love to hear about this!" Hux said. "Kylo Ren finally killed his pops! But what about your mother, huh? Couldn't handle killing two birds with one stone?"
"Shut up!" Kylo raised his hand and Hux was lifted into the air as he choked against Kylo's Force stranglehold.
Emboldened by her own anger, Rey reached out and overpowered Kylo. Hux fell down back onto his feet.
Kylo turned to her and she could feel him staring daggers at her through his mask. "You killed your father," she repeated.
He ignored her. "We don't need some old secret Resistance map. We'll go to the cartographers in the Outer Rim. They'll be able to decipher the map fragment we have."
"That would be a decent plan," Hux croaked out, hands still soothing his throat, "if Rey didn't destroy the map!"
"You destroyed the map?!"
She instinctively wrapped her arms around herself. For the second time since she's met him, Kylo Ren now scared her again. She didn't know which side of him was the real one anymore. One on hand, she was nothing but a cog in an evil machine she despised until that fateful day when she met him. He made her feel strong and important and alive. But on the other hand, as he stood over her now and yelled at her, she felt seven years old again, cowering in fear as Phasma scolded her to stop crying and work harder. She felt so helplessly small.
She focused on her anger, as it was the only thing preventing her from bursting into tears. "I blew up the droid with the map to prevent them from getting it." This was the first time she had lied to him.
Kylo walked closer until he towered menacingly tall over her. "When will you learn to stop destroying everything?!"
She winced at his words. For once, she was glad he was wearing the mask, because she couldn't bear it if she could see his eyes and know that he truly meant it.
"Why did you kill your father?" she asked yet again.
"You wouldn't understand."
Despite her efforts, the tears streamed down her face. "No, of course I wouldn't."
She heard the door open and close behind her and assumed it was medical droid.
"You can leave it on the table, I'll do it myself," she called out over her shoulder. It's been hours since their argument. She had run away to her room and refused to leave, even when he implored that she needed to get her wound treated. She sat on the bench facing the window, mindlessly counting the stars.
But the very human footsteps continued right up to where she was sitting. She turned around in her seat to find Kylo, carrying the medical kit. His mask was off.
Without a word, he began treating her shoulder wound, gingerly applying the ointment and wrapping the gauze. She kept looking down, avoiding eye contact. She wasn't going to be the first to apologize. Clearly, he wasn't either. She wasn't sure if he even knew how to apologize anymore.
So, she was surprised when, after he was done treating the wound, his hand lingered on the skin of her shoulder and he stepped even closer, leaned down, and placed a quick kiss on the top of her forehead. Then he turned and walked away without a word.
Maybe, just maybe, the monster still had a heart. And maybe this was the last chance to save him, before the darkness inevitably consumed him whole.
note: this is one of my favorite writing exercises where i change one important plot point and see how the differences would ripple out. and as usual, the story quickly got away from me and became way too long. part two is drafted and will be uploaded soon. part three is in progress. thanks for reading and stay tuned.