.

Sadly, it it now getting close to the time when they must depart Rivendell.

Let's see if they go out with a bang...or a whimper. ha ha.

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Chapter 153

~X~

After a lengthy discussion, Kili and Tauriel decided to wait and not tell anyone that they were now expecting a child, at least until they returned to Erebor. Tauriel was worried that if the others knew of her condition, they would treat her differently while on the journey. Kili had of course voiced his own concerns over her continuing on to the Shire, suggesting that they both remained in Rivendell until the return trip home…or perhaps even stayed until the baby was born. Tauriel was quick to put an end to that line of thinking, reminding him that an elf carried for a full year, and how disappointed his family would be if he chose to stay away that long.

Tauriel patiently, yet firmly, explained just how safe their little one was while tucked within her, that she wasn't some fragile piece of glass and neither was their young one. Still, it wasn't until she did promise to be very careful and take things easy, that her worried husband finally calmed down and agreed that they would continue on as planned. Besides, if truth be told, Kili really wanted his brother to be the first to know about their upcoming baby, and since they would not be seeing him again until fall, keeping Tauriel's pregnancy a secret, was a must. Still, when they were alone, the two couldn't help but talk about all the things they had to look forward to with the coming of their little one.

"He will be the best archer east of the misty mountains," Kili insisted. "I'll make sure of that."

"And she will grow to be fluent in both Sindarin and Khuzdul," Tauriel added.

"Wait…" Kili interrupted, looking at his wife expectantly. "Didn't you once say you would be able to tell if our child was a lad or a lass before it was born?" Kili asked. "Does that mean you already know, and that's why you just said she?"

"I will know within a month or so, yes…but not this soon," his wife admitted with a shy smile. "I only said she because you said he. I don't want our little one to get the impression they would not be loved, simply because we might favor one title over the other until we are certain of its gender."

"You know I will be happy either way, right?" Kili insisted.

"As will I." Tauriel leaned in and kissed him soundly, loving how he returned her affection quite ardently.

"Careful, my love," Kili teased once they parted. "It was actions like these that got you in a motherly way in the first place."

"And I couldn't be more happy about it!" she laughed, throwing her head back in joy.

Just then there was a knock at their door, signaling that the grand dinner Elrond had planned for their final evening was about to start.

"Shall we, my wife?" Kili asked, standing up and offering her is arm.

"But of course," Tauriel nodded. "I find that I am starving."

"Well, you are eating for two now," Kili reminded her in a hushed whisper, careful not to speak so loudly that anyone who might be listening could hear. They both exchanged delighted smiles as they headed out the door and down to the dining hall.

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It was a wonderful evening, with lilty stringed instruments being played in the corner, a roaring fire in the nearby hearth, and plenty of delicious food. And even though Thorin and Dwalin grumbled over the lack of a lively tune, everyone had a marvelous time.

Near the end of the party, Kili excused himself and slipped away to the refreshment table, looking left and then right, before pulling out his little brown bag of herbs. Oh, this will be so much fun, he chuckled to himself. He had just sprinkled a bit of the ground up plants into two drinking goblets when a hand came down upon his shoulder, causing him to jump.

"Easy, Kili, it's only us," Elladan laughed. "Rivendell is completely safe, no orcs or goblins could breach our boarders and thus get to you here."

"Good to know," Kili chuckled in return, looking from the twins to the goblets and then back again. "Might I pour you each a drink?"

"Wine for me," Elrohir nodded.

"Grape juice, please," Elladan requested.

"Coming right up," the sly dwarf nodded, reaching out and pouring the appropriate liquid in each glass. He quickly swished them around just a bit, aiding in the dissolving of the herbs, before handing them to each brother. "There you go."

"My thanks, young prince," Elladan nodded, taking his goblet and heading back to their dining table. Elrohir however remained, sipping at his wine as he glanced over the many dishes before them.

"Have you tried these?" he asked, pointing to some strange red looking vegetable that appeared to have been seasoned and dried. "They are quite tasty."

Kili, ever the adventurous one, reached out and popped the item in his mouth, chewing only three or four times before his smile faded and tears began to sting his eyes. He began to cough and sputter, swallowing half of it while the rest was spit out into his hand.

"HOT!" he cried, his voice raspy from the burning food. "My mouth is on fire!"

"Oh, forgive me!" Elrohir cried, concern spreading over his face. "Here, eat these quickly, they will sooth the burn." Out of nowhere he produced a dish of purple berries, pressing it into Kili's hand as the dwarf began to shovel them into his mouth. After a few moments, a sigh of relief replaced that of his gasps of pain, the berries having worked wonders. "Are you all right now, Kili?"

"Yes…much better," he nodded, wiping at his eyes where they still stung. "What in Mahal's name was that?"

"A dried pepper, yet I had no idea you would find it so distasteful," the elf insisted, looking rather apologetic. "It is considered a delicacy among my people, yet I fear perhaps not to dwarves."

"If we could only convince our enemies to eat a few of those, we would have no need to go to battle…ever!" Kili laughed, finishing off the little bowl of berries. He also couldn't help but smile as he watched Elrohir drain the last of his wine, setting the empty cup down before he suggested they both return to their table. Oh, yes…this was going to be a hoot, he thought as they both headed off.

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The following morning, Kili's eyes popped open with excitement, even before the sun had peeked out over the mountains. It was still rather dark in their room, but Kili could sense that Tauriel was sound asleep beside him. Normally that was a bit out of character for his elven wife, yet with as late as they stayed up the night before, as well as the addition of the babe she now carried, Kili could easily understand her need to rest.

He had been sleeping with her back to his chest, his arm around her waist and her silky red hair tickling his face. Oh, how Kili loved his wife's hair, and he nuzzled in a bit closer as he breathed in deeply, letting the fresh scent wash over him. However, as much as he wanted to remain in the warmth of the bed with Tauriel, there was something he had to see. So, gently extracting his arm from around her, he slipped quietly out of bed, careful not to awaken his sleeping wife. Kili dressed as quickly as he could in the dark and then headed out of their chambers. He walked over to Thorin's room, and then Dwalin's, knocking lightly in hopes of not waking their wives. When the two warriors answered, Kili motioned for them to follow him, the wide grin and urgency of his request causing them both to comply curiously.

"What's going on?" Thorin whispered, a little worried, yet mostly intrigued.

"Yah, what's with all the secrecy?" Dwalin insisted, still in his bare feet, not having taken the time to put on his boots like Thorin had.

"You'll see," Kili chuckled, stopping at the end of the hallway that led to where he knew the twins slept. "Give it just a few more minutes."

"Kili?" Thorin said in a warning tone. "What did you do?"

"Just wait," he insisted, the wild grin never leaving his face.

And sure enough, before Thorin could speak another word, a loud cry of shock and horror was heard from behind one of the fancy carved doors. It was followed by the sound of scrambling feet, as one of the twins – Thorin could never tell which was which – came running out into the hallway in alarm. This was followed by two more doors opening nearby, and out came the other twin and Elrond himself, both of them shrugging on their outer tunics.

"What is going on?" Elrond demanded, scanning the area for any signs of danger. Yet when his eyes fell upon the younger twin, any further words died on his lips as his eyes grew wide in utter surprise.

"Elrohir!" Elladan gasped. "What is on your face?"

"A BEARD!" he screeched, tugging at the dark hair that ran the length of his jawline and hung down to the middle of this currently bare chest. "I have grown a beard overnight!"

"And it looks quite fetching on you too!" Kili stated with a loud bark of laughter, drawing the attention of the elves at last.

"YOU!" Elrohir accused, pointing his finger at the doubled over dwarf prince. "You did this…admit it!"

"Proudly," Kili acknowledged with a sweeping bow.

"But…how?" Elladan asked, stepping forward to examine his brother's rather thick facial hair.

"Simple," he beamed. "It's nothing but a mixture of strange herbs, or so I was told. And as for how…well, it was only a matter of slipping it into your drinks last night at the party, allowing time to do the rest." He suddenly stopped laughing and looked over at the second twin, just now realizing that he was not sporting anything on his chin at all. "Hey…why didn't it work on you? I put the same amount in your glass as I did your brother's. What gives?"

"You put these herbs in the glass of grape juice you gave to me last night?" Elladan asked, his eyes growing even wider than they had before. When Kili nodded, the elf began to sputter and laugh, nearly choking as he tried to catch his breath and speak.

"What's so funny?" Thorin questioned in a worried tone, having caught on to the prank, but suddenly sensing that something must have gone horribly wrong. "Why did your drink not produce the same results?"

"Because, King Thorin," Elladan was able to get out at last. "I had not procured that glass of juice for myself. I was sent to fetch it for someone else."

"And just who might that have been?" Dwalin demanded, his lips curling up in a wide grin as he began to imagine who else might have fallen victim to Kili's prank.

However, all signs of mirth were quickly erased from everyone's faces when a cry of rage was heard from down the hall.

"KILI!" came the unmistakable angry voice of Tauriel. "KILI, if you had anything to do with this, you better run!"

And much to Thorin's amusement, the lad actually took a few steps as if he were about to do just that. However, Dwalin reached out and took hold of the back of his tunic and held him in place, just as his wife came storming around the corner, and much to everyone's shock…Tauriel was now sporting a very lovely six inch red beard!

"I had been sent by Lady Tauriel to fetch her some juice to drink," Elladan revealed, though in truth the explanation was no longer necessary. "It would appear that your prank has turned on you…or rather, your wife."

"Kili," Tauriel's voice was low and full of venom. "Why have I awoken this morning with a beard?" Each word coming out between gritted teeth.

"I…I…" was all the young dwarf prince could say as he stared at Tauriel in astonishment. "You…"

"Have a beard?" she finished for him, pointing at the long hair. "That is rather obvious! My question is how and why! Have you any idea what I look like?"

"You look…amazing!" Kili spoke up at last, his expression turning from fear to delight as he pulled out of Dwalin's grip and hurried over to her. Tauriel's hair had always fascinated him, marking it as his favorite physical attribute of hers. Yet now, to see her with a beard, something even to this day many of the more mature dams sometimes grew after they wed or had children, Kili was beyond intrigued. "I…I never imagined you with a beard before, but, I have to say, it's rather… stimulating!"

"Kili, you can't be serious!" Tauriel gasped, stepping back from her enamored looking husband. "I have whiskers…on my face!"

"I can see that," he grinned, reaching up in an effort to touch it, yet she slapped his hand away, causing him to pout.

Just then Bergie, Marigold, and all the children came racing around the corner, apparently having heard Tauriel's shouts, and come to investigate.

"Oh, my!" Marigold gasped, skidding to a halt, her youngest in her arms and supported on her hip.

"Auntie Tauriel," Frerin cried out, pointing towards her chin. "You look like a dwarf!"

"I know!" the elleth replied loudly, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration. "Care to explain why that is Kili?"

"It would appear, my dear, that you have been the hapless victim of a prank your husband had meant to play on my sons," Elrond explained, stepping forward. "The glass of juice you asked Elladan to procure for you last night, had been tainted with some hair growing elixir it would seem."

"Oh, you are in so much trouble, Cousin Kili," little Rose said in a voice reminiscent of her mother.

"I begged you not to go through with this, Kili!" Tauriel hissed, her fingers now in her new beard as she scratched at the irritating hair. "Oh, this itches so much! How can you all stand it?"

"Don't worry, my love," Kili was quick to inform her, the appeal of seeing his wife with facial hair quickly fading in the face of her ire. "It doesn't last long. While it does make a beard grow overnight, it will all fall out before sunset. Honest."

"And exactly where did you obtain such a potion, Master Kili?" Gandalf asked, having seemingly appeared from nowhere, and was now staring at the dwarf prince very sternly.

"I…I asked Radagast for something to help my own beard grow faster, a few years back," Kili admitted with a look of embarrassment.

"Radagast couldn't grow carrots in a garden, let alone a decent beard on a dwarf!" Gandalf stated adamantly.

"I know that now," Kili admitted rather unhappily. "But when he gave me the little bag of herbs, he swore that it would do the job. I was ecstatic at first, when I woke the next morning with a beard that would rival that of Balin's…but by the end of the day, it all fell out, even what little I originally had to start with. It took nearly a week for anything to grow back, and Fili couldn't stop laughing at me the whole time."

"Was that the week you came down with some undisclosed illness, locking yourself in your room, and unwilling to let anyone in to visit you? Not even your amad?" Thorin questioned, fighting to keep a smile off his face.

"Yes," Kili said, hanging his head in shame.

"So, does that mean I will be beardless as well by this evening?" Elrohir asked, stroking the hair on his face in a thoughtful manner. "Because, suddenly, I'm starting to like the feel of it."

"And, for once, I am able to tell the two of you apart from a distance," Elrond pointed out, also grinning from ear to ear. "My son…with a beard. I could get used to it."

"Hey, do I look like Cirdan?" the now bearded twin asked in excitement.

"You're a bit too dark to be him, but yes…yes you do," Elladan laughed, slapping his brother on the back.

"Excuse me!" Tauriel huffed, drawing all eyes back to her. "I am so happy that you are tickled with your new growth…but I am NOT!" She quickly turned to Bergie and Marigold, a pleading look in her eyes. "Help!"

"Of course!" the hobbits replied, leaping into action. "Come with us!" And taking Tauriel by the hand, Bergie began to lead her back towards their rooms, as Marigold quickly placed Raina in Thorin's arms, shooting Kili a dangerous look.

"You better hope this is all gone by tonight, or you will have more than just Tauriel upset with you," she warned, shaking a stern finger at him before she hurried after the distraught elleth.

"It was only a joke," Kili moaned, not at all happy with how things turned out. "I didn't know Tauriel was the one who requested the grape juice…honest! I assumed that Elladan meant to drink it himself! How did this all go so terribly wrong?"

"It's because you didn't use a lookout," Flinn spoke up, looking ever-so wise. "You should have asked Frerin and me to help you, Uncle. Adad always says that pranks go wrong when you don't plan well, or have a lookout."

This caused Thorin and Dwalin, as well as the other children, to all burst out laughing at Kili. Even the elves couldn't help but chuckle at the poor dwarf's predicament, for they knew quite well, that next to a dwarf, elf lasses were best known to never forgive…and never forget.

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As it was, their departure from Rivendell was delayed, due to Tauriel and the hobbits trying, and failing, several times to shave off the facial hair. Yet every time it was cut, it simply grew back, longer and thicker. In the end, the irritated elleth resigned herself to the fact that she would simply have to wait and allow it to fall out on its own. Kili was practically falling over himself in an effort to gain his wife's forgiveness, and while she assured him she would pardon his error eventually, at that moment it was best that he stay as far away from her as possible.

So it was that by mid-afternoon, they were at last mounted up and ready to continue west towards the Shire. Gandalf would be joining them, anxious to see Bilbo's reaction to Kili and Tauriel's marriage, as well as check on his diminutive friend. As Thorin bid Elrond a fond farewell, thanking him for the hospitality, as well as begging his forgiveness for his nephew's antics - there came a sudden cry of alarm from behind him. Spinning around on this pony, his eyes grew wide once more as he stared at his youngest sister-son.

"Cousin Kili!" Rose gasped, she and the other children hanging out of the back of the wagon with mouths agape. "You're turning purple!"

"You look like you took a bath in nannel-berries!" Flinn added, pointing at his uncle with wide eyes.

"By Durin's Ax…what's happening to me?" Kili bellowed, his arms stretched out before him as he turned them this way and that, staring at his oddly colored skin. "Have I been cursed?"

It was then, in the silence of everyone's shock, that laughter could be heard coming from the elf twins. When all eyes turned to them, they could hold it in no longer, chortling quite loudly as they leaned on each other for support.

"Elladan…Elrohir, might you be responsible for this?" Elrond asked, sounding almost weary in tone.

"It is only fair," Elrohir stated, gesturing to his long facial hair.

"But…how?" Kili squawked, pulling his tunic away from his body so he could stare down at his equally purple chest. "What did you do to me? And when?"

"Remember those berries that you ate to quench the fire of that pepper?" Elrohir asked, watching as the dawn of realization hit the dwarf prince. "They were rather special ones in fact. Berries that turn you purple."

"However, it wasn't supposed to take effect until you were miles away from Rivendell," Elladan pointed out. "But with your rather late departure…well, we are now privileged to see the results of our labor."

"Please tell me it is not permanent," Tauriel begged, doing her best not to laugh, though it was getting harder with each passing moment. Still, she hardly wanted a husband that looked like a ripe grape.

"No, the effect will fade in a few hours," Elladan assured her. "Probably just about the same time your beard falls out, My Lady."

"Well, then," Gandalf nodded, rather amused by all of this. "Apparently we have not to worry, and we will take our leave of you, Lord Elrond."

"I would say I look forward to your next visit," the elf lord admitted with a bit of a grin. "However, I am highly unsure my lands could survive such an occurrence." When his words elicited the laughter it was meant to, he held up his hand in parting. "May your paths be green, and the breeze be on your back, my friends. Safe journey."

And so, the company took their leave of the last homely house west of the sea, with a bearded elf and a purple dwarf in tow.

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Kili, who was feeling rather humiliated, did not dare to look anyone in the eye as he rode, choosing to lag behind and remain silent. Everyone did their best not to stare, but how could they not, for it was simply not every day one saw a purple dwarf!

Tauriel, apparently feeling sorry for her husband at last, slowed her horse and fell back to ride beside the despondent dwarrow.

"You know," she began, keeping her voice low so as not to be overheard by anyone but him. "I am glad the twins waited to implement their prank on you after we created our child." When he looked up at her in curiosity, she continued. "For I would hate to worry for a full year whether our little one would be born a natural shade…or purple."

As expected, this caused Kili to snort humorously, finding the idea to be rather comical.

"However," she added, her voice turning stern once more. "If our babe is born with a full beard, you will never be invited into my bed again!"

"Hey, not fair," Kili groused. "Since our child will be half dwarf, there's a very good chance it will have some facial hair! I hear that Dwalin was born with quite a bit of scruff on his chin!"

"Well…then, no more hair than absolutely necessary!" Tauriel amended, giving Kili a side glance, where he caught the smile she had been trying to hide. At that, the dwarf prince broke out in a wide goofy grin. For even though he had accidentally given his wife a beard, and he was currently purple, Kili knew Tauriel loved him…and that meant everything!

And there you go...another prime example why Kili should never attempt a prank without Fili. Or a lookout. Or brains. ha ha.

So...did anyone see that coming? That Tauriel would have a beard too? Not that Kili seemed to mind it...he does love her hair. ha ha.

And now Kili is not only red with embarrassment, he is purple to boot! That's what you get for pranking the twins...they get even. (and they do it before they even know you pranked them. ha ha)

Now, off to the Shire. Man, I hope Bilbo is ready for them *shakes head in exasperation*.

Guest Reviews:

Emrfangirl: Yep, a baby is a coming. No, Aragorn's mom still being in Rivendell won't have any bearing on the story, it was just a fact that she was still there at the time, so I put it in. Were the pranks to your liking? Worth the wait?

arrondissement: Yep, Kili and Tauriel deserve a baby! I just couldn't let it happy Tooooo fast, since there really has been a bumper crop of babies you know. ha ha. Hmmmm, Flinn does still think that his parents got married back when he was conceived...not five years later. As for where his dad was, and what he was doing, at the time he was living in Rohan...I don't think that has yet to come up. They kind of kept that a secret. But Flinn is not stupid, and yes, a history lesson would point out a few discrepancies, wouldn't it? They might have just told him it was due to Bina's quest for vengeance...hmmmm, I will think on it. How he was conceived would be a rather embarrassing story though...Maybe this would be a good topic to bring up when Flinn finds HIS one...and he is hit with that overwhelming urge to 'make her his'. Fili can be like..."well, son, don't go about it like I did." ha ha and then he can tell him the full story. Thanks!

abc: Glad you liked my explanation about the ring...you ask good questions! And I do love a bit of reminiscing...Ahhh, good times. Again, I will never take the story far enough to have anyone die, so I just hope that knowing the Valar won't let my characters suffer a parting is enough to ease all your minds. Yep, Elrond is great at advice...and apparently Kili is great at something else, since Tauriel is now pregnant. ha ha. Oh yes, Dis will be excited...espeicaly when this baby she can love, cuddle, spoil and then give back...unlik Lili. ha ha. Thanks!

Guest: In tears with happiness? GOOD! (so much better than tears of sorrow.) Thanks.

Guest: The company will reach the Shire in the next chapter.

Guest: Glad you liked the chapter, and I have to laugh when you said "lots of details" because THAT is what gets me in trouble and makes the stories I write soooooo long! But thanks for saying so. Yes, why do you want to cook a dwelf? Are they tasty? Is it crunchable? ha ha. Glorfindel is on an important mission, but he should be back in time for them to pass through on their way home. Yes, it is a bromance between Thorin and Glorfindel for sure. ha ha. And no, I don't blame him at all either. He is hot stuff...well, they both are. Thanks.