I head home after a meeting with the rest of the Order of the Phoenix. Some of them were friendly, others were still rather hostile. Dumbledore keeps them from attacking, and i'm grateful. I could probably take three of them on single handedly, but not more than that. None of them really, truly, scare me… Except for one person.

A person known as Sirius Black.

I'm not scared because of his appearance, no no - except maybe when his eyes narrow at me, making him looking like a dog about to attack, but that doesn't frighten me too much. He's rather good looking, after all. Back in Hogwarts, we were in the same year and most of the girls were swooning when he was around, and tried to slip love potion into his pumpkin juice and the like. Even my fellow Slytherins thought he was good looking, surprisingly enough. He is a Gryffindor after all.

I personally don't care, I've found love hurts.

Perhaps it also heals, but I haven't encountered love like that. I'm not taking chances either.

Anyway, what really scared me was the aura around him. His energy spread hate toward me, more so than the other members. This makes me feel like my heart is being shattered all over again.

The reason everyone hates me is because I am a former Death Eater.

Remember when I said some members were friendly? I meant two members, not counting Albus Dumbledore, who is the founder of the Order of the Phoenix.

Lily Potter and Remus Lupin are the two friendly ones. Lily sort of calms her husband, James Potter, and doesn't let him say anything harsh. Remus Lupin is just… a really rational, calm person.. He tries his best to calm his other two friends, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. Honestly, I don't know where Peter gets his courage. He tried to take me on single handedly and ended up knocking himself out. I don't know how, I didn't even put up a shield charm. I suppose that's what Gryffindors are like - very brawny, and don't think too much before attacking. The two obvious exceptions are Lily and Remus.

Back in school, Sirius, Remus, James, and Peter were the best of friends, and they still are. Everyone knew them, and we called them the Marauders. Girls fancied them, but James was taken with Lily. He asked her out for years and she didn't say yes until 7th year, when he finally "deflated his head" as Remus puts it. Just a bit of background information.

Anyway, the reason I stopped working for Voldemort… is complicated. I mean, technically I still am working for him, but I'm a double agent. My job is to tell the Order what Voldemort is up to.

Surprised I say Voldemort instead of You - Know - Who? Let's just say I have no more respect for him. I am scared, definitely, but I think everyone secretly is, despite what they say. Imagine coming home from work and finding that the Dark Mark was cast over your house. What would you find inside? Everyone in the house dead, that's what you'd find. How terrifying would that be?

Did I explain properly what Death Eaters are? No? Well, you probably know this by now but Death Eaters work for Voldemort, who is the most powerful evil wizard in history.

But Kiara, you might say, why would you work for someone as evil as that? The reason is, I was threatened. My entire family and someone special that I will not name was endanger. What was I to do, except cooperate with Voldemort and hope he keeps his promise in not killing my friends and family. The only catch was, if I told them I was threatened, they would first be Crucioed, then Avada Kedavraed, which is to say tortured, and then killed.

And yes, my name is Kiara, thank you very much. Pleasure to meet you. I hope you stay alive. Don't die. It's not good for your health, y'see.

So why did I join the Order of the Phoenix if that's the case? Well see, I messed up on a mission for Voldemort once - I was supposed to kill a certain wizard - but I let him get away. The Dark Lord found out about my failure, and, thinking that I was a traitor, killed my family.

That's my reason from coming back to the light - and I'm not blind, I see what Voldemort is doing. Killing humans because they are different. I suppose he's, what do you call it, racist.

The funny thing is - he isn't pureblood, but thinks purebloods are the best, and kills any person that isn't pureblood - along with people that defy him, of course - which is to say, half bloods, muggleborns, and muggles. Half Blood means that the witch or wizard has two magical grandparents, and the other two are muggles - non magic people. Muggleborns are witches and wizards that have no magical grandparents, and a muggle doesn't have a drop of magic in their veins.

I'm off to another meeting, this time with the Dark side. There is a meeting for Death Eaters, see, and I'm afraid I have to attend.

I apparate half a mile from the place, as instructed - by Voldemort. I then turn into my illegal animagus form, meaning that the Ministry of Magic doesn't know about it, - a white fox with extremely dark green eyes that almost look black - and race towards the abandoned building we were going to meet in. I transform back into human when I am on the doorstep. I enter the building -

"Hello Ms. Mills, how nice of you to join us," a voice - Voldemort's - mocks. And yes, my last name is Mills. Kiara Mills. Again, don't die.
"Hello my lord.." I reply, keeping my head bowed as we are supposed to - as a sign of respect.
"Come sit next to Severus," he says, gesturing at Snape - a hook nosed man with black beady eyes and greasy black hair. I nod and slowly walk over to my place, taking a seat carefully. Bellatrix snarls at me - I barely notice. It's impossible that her and Sirius are related - except for maybe the features, and hair. But otherwise, it's basically black and white. He's kind, humorous, and charming, while she on the other hand is vile and cruel - bloodthirsty.

Sitting next to her - Bellatrix - is her husband Rodolphus Lestrange and her sister Narcissa Malfoy. Next to Narcissa is her husband Lucius Malfoy. Out of the four of them, only Narcissa isn't a Death Eater. She's still part of meetings and the like, because of her husband and sister, and pureblood beliefs.

The meeting starts. Everyone is supposed to give an update on how their missions are going. The Dark Eaters rather remind me of the Order of the Phoenix members - they both shoot glares and generally act hostile toward me. I suppose I'm something of an anti hero to them.

It's over. I head back to my tiny apartment.

Again, don't die.