Hi guys, I'm in love with this chapter!
Nine
I paced back and forth, I'm sure all of Freedom had heard the immense crash of guns and explosions. The only problem was, no one knew who had caused it. It could have been the intruders or the rebels. I looked out the window, the dark sky only made me more nervous. Kai had been gone all day and for all I know he could have died. I was running out of finder nails to bite and my back was starting to hurt from pacing. I fell onto the couch and absentmindedly ran a hand over my stomach. Baby had been restless and kept tossing and turning. It was a strange feeling but always amazed me and made me smile. She'd been kicking but not hard enough for Kai to feel yet.
I sat for a few minutes but stood and began pacing again. What if he really was dead? I couldn't raise baby on my own. I couldn't live without him. My breath shuddered as I thought of all the bad things that could have happened. I went to the kitchen and got myself a glass of water. But after that went straight to the bathroom because of the baby pressing on my bladder. When I finished I went back to pacing in front of the door. After another ten minutes my pacing broke when the door opened and I flew into Kai's arms. He held me and kicked the door closed behind him with his foot.
"I thought you'd died when you didn't come home," I said into his neck, "I thought you'd died, I...I..." Tears formed in my eyes and wiped them away with my thumb as Kai proceeded with shushing me. I pulled back and brought his face towards mine. His lips were soft against mine and sent a warm shiver down my spine. I laced my fingers into his hair and his arm wound around my back. The other was lost in my hair, pulling me closer. His hand on my back slid beneath the hem of my shirt and my hands traced down his neck. After a moment I pulled back slightly and took in a needed breath, his heart was thumping beneath my hand. His hand moved from my hair and tipped my head back by my chin. He placed a soft kiss on my forehead, then the tip of my nose.
"It's okay, I'm okay," He said softly. He squatted down and each of his hands held my stomach, "And how's Lani?" I smiled, I loved that he just talked to her like she was a she and was already here.
"Absolutely restless," I sighed as I said it. Kai stood and wrapped me in a hug, I leaned into him," What happened?"
"Well, there was a bullet proof car thing, me and Theron got explosives from the core building," I tensed as he said it, "Well, it was pouring when we got back to the wall so we waited an hour or so while it cleared. Then we...blew them up." I pulled out of his arms and looked at him questioningly. He couldn't be serious, had he thought that there might be other Prime Makers in there. Now their Freedoms would have no one. His eyes held pain and confirmed my question.
"No, why did you do that?" I asked him, my tone slightly loud. I stepped back from him so there was a good two feet between us.
"Nine, you don't get it. We couldn't just go talk to them, we couldn't shoot at them." I ground my teeth. He wasn't wrong, but who knew what they were here for. Maybe they just shot the three people to show what they could do, had he thought of that?
"No, I get it...you just killed innocent people!" My voice was rising with each word, "And did you even consider that there could have been Prime Makers in there? That you could've just put thousands of people in danger?"
"Nine, the other Prime Makers are probably worse than Eridian, and maybe their freedoms are better off without them!" He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, "Why do you think it's always up to you to save everyone?"
"No! Don't you dare tell me that caring for people is wrong!" I was practically yelling now and I only hopped the walls were thick. Kai took a step forward and I stepped back.
"Nine-"
"No! You don't just get to brush it off. YOU KILLED THEM!" Kai stood stock still and stared at me. I felt a fresh set of tears coming to the surface. How could he have just killed them? And Theron, just going along with it? I knew he wanted what was best but surely he'd been thinking of the consequences of his actions. Surely he'd been thinking about the other Freedoms, right?
"Nine, I know you're mad," I glared at him, "But what do you want me to do now. They're already dead."
"How can you just say that?" I accused, "Are you stupid? Those people could have just been told what to do and didn't have a choice!"
"Stop pushing all of this on me! Sure they could've just been ordered to do it but you should know of all people, that everyone has a choice." He ran a hand through his hair and I could tell he was angry, "Why do you always blame yourself for everything that happens around here? The only thing you need to worry about right now is Lani but you just take on everything else."
"Don't bring our child into this! Kai, I just care about everything that happens around here because I lived here. I knew what it was like before all the rebels and everything. I knew that people were happy here, but everything changed when I left. When I left Eri inflicted curfew, she tore Freedom apart to find me. So yes I do blame myself for what's happening now."
"But you had to get away; you understood that you could never live here. Maybe it was a good thing that you left and now the people here have had a taste of what lives supposed to be like."
"Kai, just..."I growled, "You killed them when you had no reason too..." A tear slid onto my cheek and I knew I needed to get away from him. When I looked at him I saw innocent people that he'd killed. I went to the door and he grabbed my arm as I passed in an attempt to stop me. I pulled my arm from his grip and pulled the door open. I stepped out of the apartment without looking back at him. I slammed the door shut and took off up the stairs.
When I reached the floor that Pua stayed on with her parents I turned down the hallway. I was breathing heavily because the trek up the stairs was a lot more exhausting with a baby. I found there door and knocked; only hoping it wouldn't be Ara who answered. I was a mess with tear stained cheeks and flushed face. Luck was on my side; Miri opened the door and took me it. I stepped forwards and she pulled me into her arms. Her hand rubbed up and down my back as the few tears left slowly slid down my face.
"What happened?" She asked me softly. She led me over to the couch and sat me down. She placed herself next to me. I looked down at my hands as I began to talk.
"Kai and I got into a fight," I told her, she was like a mother to me and I knew I could say anything to her, "Well, he told me about what happened today. There was this bullet proof car that was trying to get into Freedom. He decided that the only thing they could do was blow it up." My breath shuddered but no tears fell.
"I told him there could have been Prime Makers in it and their Freedoms would probably plunge into chaos. But then he accused me of blaming myself for everything, then he brought baby into it..." Miri looked at me with a concerned face before pulling me into a hug.
"Nine, its okay. You and Kai were bound to get into at least one fight and now it's happened. But one fight isn't enough to change your love for him right?" I nodded, "Good, so you'll figure out a way to forgive him and you'll find a way to get past this." I nodded again and pulled out of the embrace.
"Thank you... did you and Ara fight?" I asked her. They seemed like a fairytale story but I knew that there must have been something's that weren't perfect.
"Yes, a lot in the beginning but after we'd have Kai and Pua we always worked things out before it got bad." She smiled as she said it and I knew talking about probably brought memories back. I'm sure her and Ara just think it's silly now and in a few years me and Kai might be laughing at this.
"For now," She started, "You should sleep, you can stay here tonight. Rest is best when you're pregnant." I nodded and she got up to go find blankets. I laid down on the couch and pulled one of the embroidered pillows beneath my head. Miri returned with a soft blanket that she draped over me. She left to go to bed herself. Though I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep much tonight. Baby was kicking and punching and by the feel of it, doing somersaults. I rested a hand on my belly and felt a kick beneath my hand. I gasped, I hadn't been able to feel a kick from outside yet. I wanted so badly to go tell Kai but I knew I couldn't face him right now. Baby kicked again and I smiled, just four months to go.
Kai
She slammed the door behind her and I knew I'd messed up. I ran a hand down my face in frustration. I knew she'd gotten mad so easily because she was pregnant but she still didn't know half the situation I was in. I wondered where she'd gone, either to see mom or Pua. I could tell she was really upset that I'd killed them, and I knew she hated the idea of me being a killer, but there was someone trying to get into Freedom, they'd shot three people already, what else could we have done. I needed to do something besides stand here. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep no matter how late it was. I left the apartment and ran down the stairs. I pushed open the doors and felt the chilly air crawl along my skin.
I took off running down the street and didn't stop. I ran for at least an hour before I felt exhausted. I kept running though. There was a burn creeping into my legs and it was a good distraction from Nine. I ran past the wall I'd been on not long ago and felt a pang of guilt. My steps slowed until I was at a complete stand still. Now I was blaming myself for everything that happened with me and Nine. Had I damaged our relationship forever? Would she forgive me?
After a moment I decided to go back home. I climbed into bed and felt utterly alone without Nine beside me. I knew I had to speak to her tomorrow.
Nine
I'd been tossing and turning all night. Baby was even more active and I'd gone to the bathroom three times that night. Eventually I ditched the idea of sleep and sat up. Most of the rooms had a window facing the city but this room in particular was facing the ocean. The water sparkled with the reflection of the moon. The waves crashed against Freedom's rocks. It reminded me of when me and Kai were traveling to Freedom from Mahawai, the ocean looked just the same then. I recalled the one night when there was a full moon and the sky was so bright even though it was night.
It was five in the morning when baby finally settled down and I knew I could attempt to sleep. I laid back down and tried to sleep. But all my thoughts kept me awake. Would Kai ever forgive me? I knew I'd been so mad at him because I'm pregnant and really emotional but I was mostly upset that'd he'd just done it.
The sun finally began to rise at seven and so did people. Pua came out of her room with puffy eyes and crazy hair. She noticed me, smiled and came to sit beside me, "What brings your divine presence here today?"
"Nothing divine at all," I said to her, "Kai and I got into a fight last night so I came here." Her smile faltered and her eyebrows nit together in concern.
"Oh, what happened?" She asked. I told her everything I'd told Miri and at the end of the story she wrapped an arm around me, "I'm sorry. Kai can be a jerk sometimes." I laughed. Pua was good at lightening situations.
"Sometimes?" We both laughed and Miri came out of her room too. She smiled when she saw me and Pua laughing together.
"Have a good sleep Nine?" She asked me. She went to the fridge and took out some eggs.
"Anything but," I said, "Baby wouldn't stop tumbling around. And I'm starting to think it might be a boy with all the kicking and punching its doing." Miri laughed, and Pua smiled at my stomach.
"That's how Hemi was." I smiled then it saddened, I missed Hemi and Tama so much and I couldn't imagine what it was like for Miri. She'd missed most of Tama's babyhood and Hemi was almost eight now. And I knew Joramae would still be in the dark with what had happened to Catcher. And I knew when her and Hattie find out they'll be devastated. I know how close Joramae was to Catcher.
"I'm not complaining about it, but I do enjoy sleep," Pua and Miri laughed and I stood up from the couch. I went to the bathroom and went pee. When I finished I stood beside Miri in the kitchen, "Need help?" I asked her.
"Nah, you go sit." She shooed me away. I sighed and sat at a chair by the small kitchen table. I ran my fingers through my hair, attempting to comb out the knots. Pua plopped herself in a chair opposite me. She smiled at me.
"So…I had this idea." She told me.
"Oh no, what is it?" She laughed and continued.
"Well, I was thinking that your baby will need cloths, so…what if we went to the Batch Tower or somewhere to find stuff?" I hadn't thought this far ahead and I'm grateful Pua did. I'd probably end up having the baby and have nothing for it.
"Absolutely, yes. I love that idea!" She clapped her hands and I giggled, "Miri, do you want to come with us?" I wanted her to be involved with everything; she was the closest thing I had to a mother.
"Hmm," She started, "Of course! We can go after breakfast." The smell of eggs filled the house and it pulled Ara into the hallway. He gave his wife a kiss then turned towards the table. He came and sat down leaving one seat left.
"Hello Nine," I smiled, "Is Kai coming as well?" My smile faltered and Pua looked from me to him. Miri turned as well to see what was going to happen.
"Ara, I need your help here." Miri was a lifesaver. Ara stood and joined his wife. My face changed from a smile to a blank expression. Pua gave me a weak smile and I heard Miri talking to Ara in a hushed tone. I knew she was probably explaining the Me and Kai situation. Ara brought over a bowl of scrambled eggs and turned to take a plate from Miri's hands. He places a plate of buttered toast on the table and gave me a smile and a small nod. Relief flooded in and I gave him a tight lipped smile. There was a knock on the door and Ara walked to open it. Theron stepped into the room and my stomach dropped. Pua still didn't know he was here and nearly jumped out of her skin when he placed his hands on her shoulders behind her. She tipped her head back and smiled.
I knew Theron was also with Kai when they blew up the car and I felt my frustration reaching out for him as well. Pua stood from her seat and turned to give him a kiss. Pua knew that he'd been with Kai when they blew up the car but she didn't show any signs of anger. I felt somewhat jealous. She didn't care what he'd done…and my and Kai just got in a big fight about it. Theron took the last seat and Miri brought over a plate of grapes. Ara gave up his seat for his wife and soon we were all eating. I piled food onto my plate as I was famished and I began to stuff my face. Miri stood beside me, she looked at me with a mouthful of food and her eyes told me she was about to laugh. I glared at her and she covered her mouth to hide a smile.
"Oh, shut up," I told her with food still in my mouth, "Baby is eating everything, I'm starving." She laughed but not loudly enough that it'd draw attention to me. After I'd finished my food I went and rinsed my plate clean under the tap water and offered to do the other dishes. Ara brushed me away and took over. Me, Pua and Miri all got ready to leave. I had to go downstairs to get some shoes and though I didn't want to there was no possible way to avoid Kai. I trekked down the stairs and when I reached my floor went the door. I tried the door knob and it opened, Kai hadn't locked the door. I swung the door open and stepped inside. Kai was nowhere to be seen but our bedroom door down the hallway was closed so I assumed he was there. Luckily my shoes were by the door and I didn't have to go find them in my room.
I slipped my feet into the beaten up tennis shoes I'd gotten in the rebel village. I closed the door behind me and found Miri and Pua waiting in front of the door. We all headed down the last few stories together and by the end of it I was questioning why they hadn't just put an elevator in. I stood and caught my breath for a minute before heading up the street. I knew it would be a long trip with the pace I was going. We made our way down the street towards the Batch tower; I couldn't wait to see what we could find. Though I'm sure it'll be white and gray.
Finally we came up to the building and Pua held the door for me and Miri. I went around the front desk and knew there would be a file with all the floors. I spied a red folder that had floors written on its spine with a black marker. I pulled it out and found a list of all the floors. I traced my finger down the list and was nearing the end when I found it, Fosterer sup. I knew it stood for fosterer supplies. The floor was #4 so I went to the elevator with Miri and Pua following close behind me. I pressed the correct floor button and we began to travel up.
When the door opened in front of us we stepped out into a hallway, "So this whole floor is stuff the Fosterers use," I told them, "We should look around the whole floor." Miri and Pua nodded and Miri pointed to the hallway behind me. I turned that way and the three of began walking down the hall. There was a door coming up on our left. I turned towards it and twisted the handle, the door opened. We all stepped inside and took in the contents of the room. There were shelves lining the back wall and a long, continuous table wrapping around the rest of the walls. The shelves were floor to ceiling and each of them had a label on them. The first read, NewB. The second read 6mos. The third: 1yr. The firth: 2yr. And so on. Each shelf appeared to be full of clothes and blankets. I stepped closer and my guesses where right.
I stepped to the NewB shelf and pulled a little white vest from the shelf. My heart melted, it was so small, and even though it was only white it was so cute. I scanned the shelf and was put out that there was only white. Further up the shelves though more gray appeared. The blankets on the shelves were also white. There were two kinds of blankets on the NewB shelf. There were thin ones that seemed to be like the ones Miri used to swaddle Tama. There were also think ones Miri would use to keep Tama warm when he was sleeping.
Pua stepped next to me and let out an, Aww, before pulling a blanket off the shelf. She opened it and it opened, I smiled. I could imagine baby in all of this. I nodded and pulled more baby vests into my arms. We'd need more than one. I had seven or eight in my arms. I carried them over to the table and dumped them. I returned to the shelf and pulled some of the thin blankets off the shelf and took them over to the table as well. After that Pua brought some of the thicker blankets over as well. Miri was bringing over some bigger vests from the 6mos shelf and I headed towards that shelf. This shelf didn't have the thinner swaddling blankets but instead some tiny gray sweatpants. I grabbed a few and deposited them on the table along with the array of other items.
"I think we have enough clothes for a while," I told them, "We can always come back." They nodded. We had ten blankets all together and eight NewB vests, nine 6mos vests, and eight pairs of 6mos sweatpants.
"We can leave this stuff here and go looking in other rooms." Pua suggested. I nodded and the three of us headed out of the room. We walked down the hall again and there was a door on our right this time. The door swung open when Pua twisted the handle. In this room though there were boxes on the shelves. There were labels on the shelved the exact same as the previous room, "What do you think it is?" Asked Pua. I shrugged my shoulders, walked to the shelves and pulled a box off the shelf. It was surprisingly light and when I looked inside I scrunched my eyebrows together. I had no clue what I was looking at. Miri and Pua came to my side. Miri pulled one of the mystery items out and realization crossed her face.
"Oh, diapers," She turned it around to show me, "They're not like the cloth ones I use for Tama, these ones are made of…well, I'm not sure." I took one out of the box and folded out some little tabs on the sides. I found another fold on them and pulled it out. It was kind of sticky and I put the pieces together. It sticks to the front of the diaper and holds it on.
"Yeah, let's take a box of these." I told them. I lifted the box into m arms but Pua took it from me. I sighed; she wasn't going to let me carry it. There were only diapers in this room so we all walked together out of the room. Pua ran ahead and took the box of diapers with the cloths in the other room. Me and Miri walked down the hall and I spied a door coming up on our left. Pua came to my side and we all went into the room. This room was filled with what Miri called binkies. They were in plastic wrapping and hung along the walls around the room. Miri helped me find the smallest size that would fit in baby's mouth. We selected a few so if one went missing we'd have a backup. We decided that they were small enough that we could just carry them to the next room instead of running them back to the rest of our stuff. The next room was filled with bigger stuff. This room had boxes of cribs. They were set up on the Batch floor but they were all stored here. We chose one, their wasn't really a decision to make as they were all gray.
We decided we had more than enough stuff to carry and made our way back to the clothes room with the crib in Pua's arms. When we got to the room we decided to pile all of the clothes onto one of the blankets and hold all of the corners so it was like a bag. I carried the clothes at it was the lightest. Pua had the box with the crib in her arms and Miri carried the diapers and we all made our way back to the elevators. We'd been here for about two hours.
"Well, I think that was pretty successful," I told them, they nodded in agreement, "And fun." They both smiled and nodded.
"I can't wait to come back here." Pua said. I laughed; she was always so pleased with such little things. If anyone saw us they'd say we'd traveled slowly on our way to the Tower but we went twice as slow on our way back. I knew that Pua and Miri could go faster but they walked slower to match my pace. When we got to the apartment I was dreading the stairs Pua and Miri took the stairs at a normal pace but I on the other hand took them a whole lot more slowly. By the time I reached the first story I was panting and I couldn't think about doing three more. Pua and Miri were smiling at me as I caught my breath.
"You…can go ahead," I panted, "I'll be there in a while." They laughed and Miri reached for the blanket of clothes and pilled it on top of the diapers so it tucked nicely beneath her chin. I gave her a grateful smile and we continued up the stairs again. By the time we reached my floor we were all panting. I had one hand on my back and the other rubbing my stomach. We walked to my door that was still unlocked. When we all pushed into the big front room that had the kitchen and living room there was no sign of Kai but the bedroom door was open. Everything was dumped on the couch for us to sort out.
I went to the kitchen and got a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with water. I drank the whole thing and filled another glass. I downed this one as well. Miri came and got one as well but Pua was too busy sorting cloths into piles to care. I went over to help her. We sorted all of the NewB stuff from 6mos and we folded all of the blankets in to a neat pile.
"Where are you going to put all of this stuff?" Pua asked me. I was quiet for a moment and that's when I heard the sound of a shower: Kai. He was here but didn't know I was. I brushed it off and made a mental map of my room, searching for a place to store the baby stuff.
"I'm not sure. We probably have some room in our closet because we don't have much stuff." After a few days in freedom we'd gone and gotten clothes, well the ones that looked most normal. Freedom didn't have any maternity clothes so I either wore shirts that were too big so they fit around my belly or I wore Kai's shirts.
"Well, let's go figure it out. Pua jumped up and held out a hand for me. I let her pull me up and lead me towards the bedroom. We went to the closet and there wasn't really much stuff in it. We moved some things to leave a good amount of space for baby's things. Me and Pua brought the blankets and cloths into the room. We stacked the blankets on one shelf and began to arrange the clothes on another. I hadn't noticed but the shower had stopped and when I turned away from the closet I almost tripped over my feet when I saw Kai. He was standing in the doorway of the bathroom that was connected to our room. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair was sparkling with water stuck to it. His tattoo spread across and I tore my gaze away from him. I headed out of the room brushing off the concerned look he was wearing.
I went back to the front room and found Miri coming towards the bedroom with the box of diapers. She passed me as I continued to where Pua was with the crib, "So, where is this going to go?" She asked me. I thought of all the places in my room, I knew I wanted baby to be close to me.
"How about on the wall next to my bed?" Pua nodded and pulled the box into her arms. We were about to go set it up but Kai walked out of the room. He'd gotten dressed but his hair still shinned. He walked past Miri and she whispered something to him. Ne shook his head, Miri huffed and he continued to the door. He swung it open, stepped out, closed it behind him and he was gone. I looked to Pua and she looked at me. I motioned for us to continue but she stayed planted where she was.
"Why don't you go talk to him?" She asked softly. Miri was in the bedroom putting the diapers away. I let out a slow breath.
"Can we continue please?" Pua shoulders drooped but she continued down the hall. When we got to the room we opened the box and pulled out but jumble of pieces. There was a mattress of sorts wrapped around what appeared to be the frame. There was just the right amount of space for it to go n the corner beside the bed. We pulled the frame over and it was fairly simple. We pulled out the four corners and pushed the middle piece down so it all popped into place. Miri brought over the mattress and laid it in the bottom.
"Hmm, it's not very soft." Miri said, she went over to the shelf and pulled one of the thicker blankets down. She laid it in the bottom and nodded, "That should work." I nodded.
"Pillow?" I asked, she shook her head.
"If the baby rolls over into the pillow it could suffocate." She told me. I made sense.
"Okay, so we're done?" I asked them. I felt fatigue crawling into me.
"Yep," Miri said, "You look tired Nine. Why don't we leave and you can sleep." I nodded and they left. I crawled into bed and barely pulled the blanket over me before I fell asleep.
I woke feeling very refreshed but empty. It was four in the afternoon and my stomach was growling. I rolled out of bed and went to the kitchen. I opened one of the cupboards and pulled out some crackers. We'd started to ration fresh food so we maybe had some for dinner. We'd frozen most of the meat we still have left. I went to the fridge and pulled out a block of cheese, I cut off some thin slices to eat with my crackers. I put everything on a plate and went back to my room. I sat in bed and eat my food in silence. Baby kicked and I put my hand on my stomach to feel. I smiled and got another kick right under my hand. I finished my food and put the place on the floor.
I sat in bed and pressed a hand on my belly to feel exactly where the baby was laying. I felt its back and head, and its legs curled up. I was broken from my trance when I heard the door open. I'd memorized him footfalls, his breathing patters and I knew it was Kai at the door. I was so sick of hating him and I knew I just wanted him back. I was about to get out f bed and go speak to him but he appeared in the doorway. We looked at each other for a minute before he came closer. I felt my breathing speed up and tears coming to the surface.
"Kai…" I started to tell him but then my face fell into my hands and I started crying. He wrapped his arms around me and I leaned into him. His hand rubbed my back and I choked out another sob, "I'm sorry."
"Me too, I'm sorry," He whispered into my hair, "I love you." My tears slowed and I clutched Kai's shirt. I pulled away slightly so I could see him. He brushed my tears away with his thumb then traces it along my jaw. His lips barely touched mine and it reminded me so much of our first kiss. I felt baby stir and suddenly remembered. I pulled away and grabbed Kai's hand. He looked confused.
"Here," I placed his hand on my stomach and I felt baby kick. Kai's eyes widened and I nodded with a smile on my face, "She kicked first yesterday." Kai came and sat in front of me on the bed. He placed his hand back on my belly and moved his hand in an attempt to get another kick. Finally baby kicked him again but harder. I laughed and Kai joined in.
"It's amazing." Kai said.
"Kai…I'm so sor-" Kai put a finger to my lips to stop me from talking.
"It's already forgotten."
See why I like it?!