A/N Another chapter! I hope you guys like it, it has one of my favorite scenes so far. Thank you to the reviewers, it's so nice to get feedback:) And a super thanks to MamaBear for reading these scenes over a ridiculous amount of times and making suggestions on my notes and all the great stuff you do.
Happy reading!
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Chris sat quietly at the Seven's usual table, facing the door and waiting for Vin to make his way over from the bar. People were getting rowdy, laughing and singing, showing off, but the crowd left a circle of space around where the man in black rested, seemingly without even really thinking about it.
When he'd rode into town earlier Josiah had been standing on the church porch waiting for him, the relaxed smile on the preacher's face letting Chris know the news before he'd pulled Pony to a stop in front of him. Didn't keep the big man from announcing it, voice booming, "Our wandering lamb has returned home, a shepherd in rawhide leading the way."
Funny how relief still shot through him, for all he'd known from that smile. Funny how all the ways this could've ended bad kept running through his head.
Vin needed to hurry up with that bottle. Not that Chris was going to be getting drunk tonight, well, at least not until the day was a lot later and something else wasn't liable to jump up and bite him in the ass, but a good stiff drink was exactly what he needed. He grinned a little as he saw Vin finally start weaving his way back from the bar, blushing as one of the girls stopped him, running a finger down his arm. Vin's cheeks went a deep pink and he murmured out his answer while still inching his way towards the table, but Chris noticed the pleased look in his eyes and the way he glanced back over his shoulder before he sat down.
"Reckon you're a regular hero," Chris teased, nodding his head towards the woman and earning himself a scowl from the still pink cheeked tracker. Inez had sung the man's praises when he'd told her Ezra had been found and it seemed the story was going to get him attention for awhile. Knowing this town there'd be a version where the boy had been kidnapped by bandits floating around before too long. People would be amazed to see Vin up and about, after hearing how he'd nearly died and all.
"Ya jealous, Larabee?" Cracking the seal on the whiskey bottle, fancy enough that Chris had a feeling it was a reward from Inez-Vin was too tight fisted to spend nearly half a day's wages on one bottle-Vin grinned cockily at Chris. Chris snorted, showing what he thought of the tracker's words then snagged the bottle the second he put it down. Vin muttered something about greedy old men, but let him, and, making a note to get him back for that old comment, Chris poured a good two fingers of the amber liquid into his waiting glass.
Vin got quiet after that-thinking quiet, not just not making noise quiet, because Vin was silent half the time anyway. Not only didn't speak just to hear himself talk, but for a man who needed activity as much as he did could sit, still and calm, whether watchful or content, for far longer than even those who knew how still he could be would bet on.
Though, the thought bringing a small smile to Chris's lips, Ezra certainly would know better than to take that bet. Boy might be as foolish as any other in some things, or worse, considering today, but he could spot the odds of just about anything in less time than it would've taken most folks to figure out what they were looking at.
Not that that was necessarily a quality you wanted a thirteen year old to have.
A slight shift of his friend's shoulders brought Chris's attention back to him, and, leaning forward to catch Vin's eye, Chris quirked an eyebrow in a silent question. It took a moment for him to get an answer, Vin a little reluctant, but eventually the younger man muttered, "Imagine if Eli hadn't said anything?"
Chris had had that thought, that what if, running through his head a couple times since Ezra had been found. Wincing a little, he inclined his head slightly, acknowledging the possibility and the fear it put in the pit of his stomach. On the one hand, he knew what ifs and could've beens often did nothing but torment you, but on the other, with Ezra safe, thinking it over might give them a way to prevent it. Stop it from happening again.
Well, once Buck got what had happened out of the kid they could take care of that pretty easy. Buck would have first go, of course, but Chris wanted to have his say. Had to have been something somebody said to him, boy was fanciful, but not the type to conjure a fear like that out of nowhere. They'd get to the bottom of it. If nothing else, making sure Ezra didn't even think about leaving town without a canteen, no matter how upset he was, had to happen. Today had likely taught him that, but if it hadn't, Chris figured one of them asking him if he had it if he so much as looked in the direction of the desert would likely get the boy so sick of it he'd just start carrying it all the time. Which, with the mischief he got up to wasn't a bad idea in the first place.
Vin shifted in his chair, boot scraping a little on the floor and drawing Chris's attention back to him. Man was staring down at the table, but he wasn't really seeing it, thoughts too heavy for that. Chris watched him for another moment, then, voice not much more than a murmur, let a, "Hey," drift across the table. When Vin's clear gaze met his, he said simply, "He's home. He's safe." That got him a nod, a bit of renewed relief, but as Vin looked away, down at the glass he'd mostly just been holding, Chris could see shadows in his eyes again.
Still. Things would work themselves out. Maybe not right away, but none of them were going anywhere. They'd figure it out in the end.
*.*.*.*.*
His cousin a warm weight against his side, Buck was relieved that the kid finally seemed to believe him, the last lingering doubts having faded as they talked. He grinned a little sadly over the boy's last question, 'Like JD?', and just how lucky he really was. Two boys and a whole passel of brothers, man was lucky he didn't trip over them. Wasn't too long ago that Buck had thought he'd never get a chance at something this good again.
Still, just because Ezra was no longer fearing being sent away, that didn't change the fact that he'd thought it in the first place. Didn't mean Buck wasn't going to have to keep making sure he knew that was never gonna happen. Eight months wasn't that long, he knew-hell, some days it seemed like Ezra had only gotten to Four Corners yesterday. Other times, though, it felt like he'd always been here. Like there had been a spot waiting, just his size, in their little band of lost souls. Buck knew darn well it wasn't just the newness of it that had had Ezra so ready to believe they'd gotten sick of him, that having him around was trouble. Would be a hell of a lot easier to pretend it was right now, but you didn't get to forty something without realizing that sometimes doing what was easy now just meant dealing with what was hard later, when it had had time to grow. Misunderstood words or not, there were a lot more insecurities brewing under his boy's skin than he'd have ever imagined. "Ez?" He felt the boy shift, pulling away so he could look at him, and made sure his arm didn't slip off his shoulders.
"Yes, Cousin Buck?" Buck wasn't sure if the title was Ezra sticking to old habits because he was still feeling uncertain, or if it was the boy's way of staking his claim-maybe a little bit of both-but he figured another quick squeeze around the shoulders couldn't hurt.
"Those other folks, you know," He jostled his arm a bit, going for playful, "the stupid ones, you have to deal with a lot of those?" Buck was rewarded with a brief smirk at the reminder of JD's declaration, but then Ezra's face faded back into quiet solemnity. Buck guessed he just wasn't up to putting on his 'poker face' and was glad of it. He needed all the help he could get.
"Ah have stayed with quite a few relatives or friends of Mother's." There was a pause then, the boy who normally had something to say about everything, and a lot of it, hesitated, hoping maybe that Buck would take the conversation over, but he just waited. Ezra had a tendency to want to fill up the air and Buck was hoping to get a little more out of him than that before he put his two cents in again. His cousin shifted a bit, and then sure enough, started again. "While some were certainly as doltish and crude as JD suggested, Ah do not believe all of them can be tarred with the same brush. Mrs. Dansforth was the head of a prestigious finishing school for young ladies, Ah stayed there for most of the year Ah was eight."
Ignoring the misdirection, as Ezra had certainly known that wasn't what he meant by stupid, Buck asked quietly, "Was she nice to you?" The pause before the answer came told him before any words were spoken.
"She went to great personal pains in order to educate and care for me despite it being far from her specialty or interest, and…" Buck lost track of Ezra's words briefly, his mind gnawing over the phrase 'great personal pains', wondering if that was something his dictionary swallowing cousin had come up with on his own. He didn't think so. It sounded too, not rehearsed, but it had tripped off the boy's tongue like he'd memorized it.
Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, as he didn't have a clue what to say, Ezra's stomach rumbled and reminded them of the cooling food waiting under a cover. It would still be plenty tasty, even if piping hot was a dream of the past. He nudged Ezra gently and asked, "Ready to eat, Pard?" Leaping on the distraction, the boy nodded and pulled away from Buck, attempting a grin.
"Mah stomach seems to believe it is past time."
"Can't have that now, can we?" Gently tousling hair Ezra immediately moved to fix, Buck pushed himself up and headed for their dinner.
*.*.*.*.*
Whiskey forgotten, a fierce game of checkers was now being battled out in the church's small backroom, battered board propped across a wide barrel Josiah had rescued from somewhere. Nathan's eyes narrowed in concentration before he jumped Josiah's king, making sure he wasn't missing something. Harrumphing as he saw the trap the preacher had laid for him-he knew there was a reason he'd left that piece vulnerable-Nathan moved another piece instead, creating a nice blockade and smirking a little when Josiah muttered a particular word under his breath.
A few moves further into the game, it still a neck and neck race, Josiah, head half bent over the board, stated as a fact, "Something else is still weighing on your mind, Nathan."
Not expecting that at all, his own eyes equally glued to the board and the distraction it provided, it took Nathan a minute to gather his thoughts enough to respond, leaning back in his chair as he did. Josiah was right, of course. He always seemed to be, at least when it came to what other people were feeling.
Suddenly tired, Nathan scrubbed at one eye with a palm and sighed. "You know what it is already too?" It came out a mite more sarcastic than he'd meant it to, but Josiah, looking up at him, just grinned. Then he kinged himself again, dang the man, waiting patiently afterwards for Nathan to make his next move, whether it was with words or on the checkerboard. He found both at around the same time, jumping two of Josiah's pieces without ceremony and saying plainly, "I've been feeling like I judged the Raley kid too quick. Bad first impression, and then I got protective I guess, thinking he was a bad influence on Ezra. I'm still not sure he isn't, but wild and bad aren't the same thing, Buck was right about that."
"And you were pretty impressed earlier that he came to you to help Ezra." It was a statement, not a question, as Josiah frowned in concentration, a finger resting lightly on the checker he was about to move. From anyone else Nathan might have found the presumption of how he had felt annoying, but that was just Josiah.
"I was. Doesn't change the fact that he's too wild, but like this morning-turns out, he wasn't the only one of the older boys telling scary stories to the little ones, even if his were the ones that had little Dolly up with night terrors." Nathan hadn't actually known that until after he'd gone back to the Pritchard homestead late this morning with a few packets of soothing tea he'd made up special so it wouldn't be too strong for the little girl and heard a more complete story than he'd gotten from her frazzled and upset father when he'd shown up on his porch at four in the morning. Still, he found himself cringing over what he'd said this morning, how he'd assumed it had to have been malicious, not just stupid or thoughtless.
"Which of the older boys were involved?" Josiah asked, frowning in concern. "Ezra?"
"Yes and maybe no," Nathan shook his head, "Gil said Dolly told him that Ezra made the others stop their 'fright contest' when she started to cry. But, he was still there and I have a hard time imagining he didn't join in with something involving both stories and contests."
"No, something like that would be like a flame to a moth," Josiah's voice was dry, and maybe a touch amused. "Still, I ima…"
Nathan's head came up, eyes tracking towards the sudden scraping noise from outside. Josiah, trailing off mid word, had his face set in serious lines as the two men made eye contact. It was late for someone to come by the church, but not unheard of. For someone to sneak up outside the back, though…
Josiah was closer to the back of the church and made his way to his feet carefully, Nathan right behind him. The preacher rambled off another sentence or two before they'd moved too far, not wanting whoever it was to realize they'd been heard by the sudden silence, but Nathan found he could only mutter some agreeing noises as his hand moved down to one of the knives in his belt. The last thing they needed was any kind of trouble, and, if it was trouble, the sorts of folks that would start something at a church weren't the type Nathan would ever want to turn his back on. They made it through the back hallway, trying to move quiet and smooth, but not so silent for it to seem strange. It hadn't been too long ago Vin'd had to track down a wounded coyote that had been making trouble, ate a few chickens and snarled and snapped at the Vechett boy, and it was probably a sign of how often they dealt with dangers of the human variety that Nathan found himself thinking that something like that would be preferable.
They were at the back door now, both listening for the noises that had been coming intermittently as they moved. A muffled word, maybe a curse, proved it was a person. Eyes met as two sets of ears realized how young that voice sounded. Too young, even in the wilds of the west that could make a man old, make him bitter before his time, to belong to someone looking to rob a church.
Lips pursing, Nathan pulled his hand away from his sheath. He wasn't sure why, or what the fool boy thought he was doing, but he was getting the idea that it was Eli out there, skulking around. After he'd been feeling bad for calling him a troublemaker. Nathan shook his head, weary all over again. If it was, he was letting Josiah deal with it, that boy had gotten all the patience out of him that he felt capable of today. That well was dry.
As dark as it was getting he couldn't imagine that it was any of the town youngin's back there. Josiah, rather than swinging the door open suddenly, reached out and grabbed the third of the lamps he'd lit earlier from where it was hanging, turning up the flame a bit. After sharing another look with Nathan, this one filled with consternation, he undid the latch, turned the knob and gently pushed the door open. Yep. As Josiah lifted the lantern there was no doubt about who was out there. "Eli Raley, does your mother know where you are?" Josiah's deep voice was stern, and Eli, who had been hunkering himself down to one side of the steps, up against the wood pile froze as the preacher lifted the lantern so that it shone down on him. Nathan almost snorted at the kid thinking that would work as a hiding place.
"Um…" The boy looked guilty enough to make the answer more than obvious.
He seemed reluctant to reply and Josiah pressed, "I asked you a question, young man," just a hint of a growl in his voice. Eli, gulping and blushing in the lamp light, stood straight and reached for a hat he wasn't wearing.
At night. Boy didn't have a lick of sense.
"No, sir," Eli shook his head, "I ain't been home since I came to town." Big arms crossed over the preacher's chest and Nathan was almost tempted to feel sorry for the boy as Josiah's mouth opened to let out a, no doubt lengthy, sermon.
*.*.*.*.*
After they'd eaten their fill and then some, Buck pondered on the last thing he had to say, mulling it over as they stacked dishes. Telling the boy he was family, his boy as far as Buck was concerned and always had a place here with him was one thing-telling him he wanted to make it official like, so that Maude couldn't take him away, was different. The boy loved his Ma, and while from what Buck could tell she'd given him nearly as much reason to hate her as she had to love her, she had given him reason to love her.
The thought, fierce and unexpected, 'She better love him as much as he loves her," tore through Buck's mind then and he had to fight to keep the scowl off his face. Picking up the heavy tray from the hastily cleared nightstand they'd used as a dining table, Buck carried it over to Ezra's dresser and, careful of the knickknacks spread over it, left it for later.
Sitting back down beside the watchful boy, Buck took a deep breath, then winced when the ever perceptive Ezra stiffened. "Now don't go worrying, I don't got anything bad to say."
Ezra nodded slightly, saying, "Ah was not worried, merely curious as Ah could tell you had something more to discuss." Bull, plain and simple, but Buck wasn't about to call him on it, instead chucking him on the shoulder slightly and then slinging an arm around him.
"Of course, I should've known." Ezra gave him a look, clearly seeing that Buck hadn't actually bought it and not appreciating either that or being humored. "Now, you know I want you to stay here with me. You're my family, as good as my kid, and I love you and I like you, a whole heck of a lot, and I think I got that through your stubborn head earlier. Hope so, anyway." Ezra rolled his eyes and acted valiantly as though his cheeks weren't turning red, but let Buck squeeze him without a word of complaint. "But, I've been thinking, it might be time to talk to the judge about making it more permanent like." Buck sat, holding his breath without ever deciding to, as he waited for his cousin to break the silence that was growing heavier around them. Not wanting to push Ezra, he kept silent even as it felt like the wondering was about strangling him.
"Do…do you mean you'd ad-become mah legal guardian?" The words were very careful, very measured, none of the wild rabbit stillness he could feel in Ezra's frame making it into them. As much as Buck had wanted to be holding the boy when he asked, now he wished he were facing him, so he could see into those eyes that could tell you more than Ezra's face ever would. Either one would be fine with him, adoption, guardianship, none of it would change who Ezra was to him, or his spot in their family. Just make it so nobody, not even his mama, could yank him away.
"That's exactly what I mean. I meant it when I said this is your home, pard. If I was your legal guardian it'd give me more say in how you're brought up, and make sure I can keep you here-"
"Even if Mother comes for me." It was a statement and a question, something to be yearned for and something to be feared, and this time every bit of that came through in Ezra's voice, and Buck wasn't sure what to say, squeezing the boy closer to him as he racked his brain for the right words.
"Well…yeah, pard," He finally got out, stumbling over the words more than he liked. "I'd never stop you from seeing her, I know you love each other and she's your family as much as I am." Not more, not after eight months of Ezra worming his way into Buck's heart, but as much as, that he would give Maude. "But not only do I just plain want you here with me and the rest of the boys, I get the feeling that traveling around all the time doesn't quite agree with you the way it does her. That you want a home, and I, I wanna give you one. Not just until she comes back, but forever." Buck knew that Ezra had been pressed against his side a second ago, but suddenly the boy was burying himself in his chest, squeezing himself as close as he could go. Not saying anything, just pressing himself close and breathing hard. Buck adjusted his arms so he could hold the boy properly, but wasn't too surprised that only a few seconds after he managed that Ezra started to pull back, looking at his knees, embarrassed. Been a lot of emotion and affection going around for the slightly reserved boy, and Buck pulled away some himself, letting one hand drop to his side as the one closest to Ezra moved to rest lightly on the back of his neck. "Guessing I can take that as a yes?"
"Ah believe that would be quite satisfactory." His head barely moved, but eyes still a bit too nervous for Buck's liking, even with the hope he could see pooled up in there too, looked sideways at him, watching his face and Buck let his smile widen, eyes crinkling at the corners.
"Well, alright. I'll get a letter sent out to the judge tomorrow. For now, if you aren't too sleepy, why don't we play a hand of rummy before turning in?" To Buck's surprise, there was no easing of shoulders or a quick grin sliding his way, followed by a request for poker. Instead, Ezra looked first blank, then as though all the air had been sucked right out of him.
When the quick grin came it was brittle, fake, and when Ezra said, "Ah appreciate the offer, but fear the draw Ah feel towards Morpheus would prove a fatal handicap to mah abilities, and thus must turn down your gracious invitation," Buck listened carefully to every word, and then shook his head, not buying it, and shifted around just a bit so he could look at Ezra more head on.
"I don't think so, Pard. What's wrong that you aren't telling me?" The question of why he didn't want to tell him, Buck kept to himself, even as it tugged at the tip of his tongue. His feelings weren't what was important right now, though he wouldn't lie to himself that they didn't sting a bit. Ezra had already gathered himself from the surprise of either not being believed or played along with, and was giving Buck a far too convincing innocently confused look as he shrugged his shoulders.
That the yawn that escaped him a moment later was completely natural would have sealed the deal if Buck had been buying into the act at all. Luckily for Ezra, he wasn't. "I can't help if you don't tell me, Ez." For just another moment his cousin kept the almost too perfect act up, but then Ezra sighed and it slipped away like a shadow when the candle moves.
"Ah lost mah cards. They're gone forever." A resigned, defeated mumble added this new misery to Ezra's day and Buck ached for the kid. Those cards, somehow still in decent shape after years of being carted around in Ezra's pocket, meant the world to him and Buck wished like anything he could fix it for him.
Maybe…
"If you lost them on your way out of town we might be able to find them, going back over your trail. Or," he corrected remembering what Nathan had said about Ezra keeping out of the sun, "Vin might be best, to make sure-"
"No," Ezra's head shook slowly, words dragging out of his mouth, "lost was somewhat of a misnomer. They are destroyed." The tight swallow that followed the words showed Buck that Ezra was trying like anything to keep himself together, and the part of him that wanted to scoop the boy close again probably wouldn't help with that, or be appreciated. Asking for details would just make him think again on something he was clearly trying to forget. Instead he rubbed the thumb of the hand still draped across the kid's neck slowly back and forth, trying to think of the right words to say.
"I'm real sorry that happened, Ezra. I know they were special to you." A shrug, harsh and quick enough it would've knocked Buck's hand loose if he hadn't half been expecting it. Buck nodded to himself. "Why don't you come with me." Not sure adding anything else would be helpful, he stood up from the bed and held out a hand to Ezra, hoisting him up when the boy reluctantly took it. Knowing curiosity would be enough now that Ezra was on his feet, Buck headed out of the room, slow enough that the brief hesitation before Ezra trailed after him only had him a pace or two behind. He wasn't sure if this would help or not, but he figured it couldn't hurt to try.
If he was wrong about that, well, he'd fix it.
*.*.*.*.*
Ezra paused in Buck's doorway, watching as the tall man marched to his dresser and pulled open the top drawer. Curiosity warred with belief that there was nothing his cousin could produce that could cut the sting of losing his most prized possession, and kept him stuck there, unable to move closer or retreat away. After a minute of searching a muttered, "Uh-huh, there you are," and Buck pulling his hand out with a small package almost entirely concealed in it had Ezra pressing forward without being aware of it, interest overtaking wariness as he realized it was still neatly wrapped in brown paper, and therefore could potentially be any number of things. Small things, to be sure. Buck turned his direction and grinned a little when he saw him hovering a few steps into the room, beckoning him forward. "Picked these up for you awhile ago, reckon now's a good time to hand them over." A present. For him.
The last of his hesitancy flying out the window, Ezra was across the floor in a minute, avidly examining the little box when Buck pressed it into his hands. Fairly certain he knew from the size and weight what it was, but not absolutely secure in his prediction, Ezra considered gently opening the package and easing the paper off to prolong the unveiling.
Then he ripped it right off instead, Buck chuckling as he watched. Exactly as he'd expected, a deck of cards was revealed. He swallowed, as even in his excitement the new package solidified that his old deck was irretrievably lost. Still, his cousin had picked these out for him, and determined to enjoy the rarity of a gift that was not for Christmas or his birthday, Ezra forced himself to concentrate on the matter at hand. Flipping it over to see the front of the box Ezra's eyes widened. He would not have expected from the slightly rough feel of the package for their to have been such artwork on the front, but a riverboat sailing down a blue that must've been the Mississippi stared back at him.
It was perfect. Faultless, even where the blue was more a muddled brown from ink smearing down from the print of the boat. Exactly the sort of purchase Ezra would never have been able to resist if he'd laid eyes on it-and Buck had seen it and known that that was so, and bought this beautiful present for him. "Thought you'd like that-now the cards inside ain't quite as pretty, but if we're gonna play ourselves a game it's time to pull them out." Still overwhelmed, staggered really by how what had been a disastrous day had turned into something almost too phenomenal to be believed, twice now, Ezra managed to toss a smile up at Buck, fingers running over the edge of the picture. Then gently, careful with the stiff paper, he eased the box open and let the deck slide into his hand.
They were new and sharp, crisp at the edges, and even if they weren't quite as high end as the deck Mother had given him years ago, even if they couldn't be quite the same, or give him the same thrill of memories, good and bad, that his old deck did, that didn't keep his heart from swelling as he glided his hands over the colorful pasteboard. He didn't miss his old treasure any less, but he almost cradled this unexpected gift close as he grinned up at his cousin. "Rummy, is it? Are you sure Ah can't interest you in a more lucrative game?"