A/N: Hello :) Another chapter closer to finished, just the epilogue to go now. I hope you guys like this one, the ending took forever, but I think it should be satisfying! Thank you to the lovely reviewers of last chapter, your encouragement really helps. And to MamaBear for reading all of this like a million times and having great suggestions.
*.*.*.*
Somehow, despite that dry, dry well Nathan still found himself riding out to the Raley place; a lantern held aloft as night had come full on by now and the moon was just a sliver, a sheepish looking boy trailing after him.
He should be sheepish, with that fool plan he'd rattled off about sleeping in the livery and leaving his poor mama to worry herself all night. If Josiah hadn't torn such a thorough strip off him Nathan might have added a few meaningful words of his own, but as it was he just concentrated on making sure the pool of light was covering enough ground that they could easily pick their way along.
They were nearly to the small farm, the house just visible over a low rise, when a quiet, but hopeful voice piped up behind him, calling, "Mr. Jackson?" Nothing else, even when Nathan cocked his head the boy's direction. Pulling up on the reins just enough to slow Brevet, he looked properly at Eli.
"We're almost to your place." Eli was tired, no doubt, and maybe even a little cowed, but he seemed just fine beyond that. Nathan figured he should talk to Mrs. Raley and let her know what had happened, but after that his responsibility would be done and he could head towards his own bed.
Right about now even that extra cot he kept for when the clinic was full up sounded good, his bed sounded like heaven. If the boy could just keep until he got him to his mother…
But in the pale lantern light Eli was biting his lip, looking like whatever was on his mind was about to burst out of him. With an internal sigh, Nathan nodded at him in encouragement and waited. "While, I was thinking…Mr. Sanchez and you were right, my ma would've been awfully worried if I spent the night in town." A hint of a bashful smile, one that looked an awful lot like one of Ezra's practiced innocent faces-Nathan wondered if they were comparing notes-and the boy blurted out the rest of his hope, "And even just knowing I was planning to might scare her pretty bad, and I'd sure hate to do that…" The boy trailed off, expression hopeful and Nathan just stared back. Yep, that well of patience was dry as a bone right about now.
"I know you aren't asking me to go along with lying to your Ma." Eli's mouth opened in protest, but Nathan cut him off. "That would be a wicked thing to do, and neither one of us is doing it." Just plain done, he faced forward on Brevet and clicked his tongue to get the horse moving again. He listened to make sure Toby's footfalls were continuing behind him, but didn't look back at Eli.
Lying.
A grimace crossed his face as he considered whether that was one bad habit Eli had picked up from Ezra.
Buck used the hand Ezra wasn't half on top of to brush the hair out of his boy's eyes, the usually carefully combed strands hanging loose as his cousin sagged onto him. He was rewarded with an annoyed grumble, the word infant squeezed in there, probably the usual complaint about not being one; Buck had thought the kid had nodded off, but it seemed he wasn't quite there yet. Which meant he should probably hold in the sigh the size of the Grand Canyon that wanted to escape out of him.
He'd known from watching that being a parent was about the hardest thing a person could do. Most joyful thing, but that didn't keep it from being so hard it could kill you. Thing was, Buck swallowing the lump in his throat at the memories, when a child was raised up from the start with nothing but love and kindness poured into them, folks who would've tried to yank the moon down from the sky if he asked, there weren't so many scars and broken promises to trip on. Ezra didn't have that blind faith that the people taking care of him wanted what was best for him, and why should he? Buck didn't know Maude that well, and at first he'd figured life had just been awful rough. God knew that for all his mother had tried, she hadn't been able to protect him from everything, hadn't been able to shield him from the bad side of growing up in a brothel. Most folks wouldn't have believed there was a good side.
The more Buck got to know his cousin, the more he wondered if Maude had even tried. Had even bothered. She might not've made a living the way his Mama had, but Maude was from the 'fallen' side of the family, he never would've met her otherwise, and he'd wondered just how she made her living-her stories didn't hold water when you really thought about them. A week or two of Ezra around and Buck found he had a good idea, and gambling was only a small part of it.
A soft snore hit his ear, but Buck didn't move. He told himself that he was worried about waking Ezra up, but the truth was he just didn't want to let go of him yet. The kid was fine, or would be with rest and staying out of the sun, but this had been too close. Anything could've happened, and for all he didn't want to, a scolding, if a little one, on going off into the desert without telling anyone, especially without a canteen, was in Ezra's future. Buck couldn't let it go, couldn't even say he really wanted to, not when he'd scared him this bad. Of course, that didn't mean he was looking forward to it either.
Hard, that's what it was. Looking after a kid. Harder than tortoise shell, and not as easy to polish up pretty, either.
Still worth it.
*.*.*.*.*.*
"Eli!" Judging from the way the woman hurried out of the porch chair she'd been sitting in and rushed down the steps, Mrs. Raley had already worried herself into a tizzy. Nathan slowed Brevet and let Eli move ahead of him, the boy swinging off Toby before the amiable horse had completely stopped. "What happened? Where have you been? You said you were going for a swim almost half a day ago!"
Eli, his face lit by the porch light now, seemed to start in surprise, and then, a guilty expression that had a lot more to it than the sheepish one he'd been wearing for a while appearing, blurted out, "I'm sorry, Ma! I forgot you didn't know I'd gone to town!" Nathan had dismounted by now, but stayed back, letting the two talk. As he scratched Brevet's nose, Nathan shook his head. After expecting the boy only gone for an hour or two, he found himself wondering, a mite uncharitably he supposed, why she hadn't looked for him-or if she had and hadn't found him, why she hadn't come into town herself? Did they only have the one horse?
"You forgot? What in the world could've made you forget? What've you been doing?" She was looking Eli up and down for injuries now, fussing at him and pushing him more into the light as she checked his arms and he tried to squirm away and insisted he was fine. The pleading look Eli sent back at Nathan reminded Mrs. Raley that she had a guest in her yard, and still keeping Eli close to her, she turned to Nathan with a tired, and just slightly shaky, smile, "Evening, Mr. Jackson. It was awful nice of you to bring Eli home."
"Evening, Mrs. Raley." Nathan tipped his hat and then drew it to his chest as he stepped forward to greet her, "It wasn't any trouble," not entirely true, but he didn't want the woman to dismiss him out of hand, "but I do think Eli has some things to tell you about why he was in town so late."
Her gaze traveled back to Eli, concerned exasperation warring with relief, and she simply said, "Well, Eli?"
The boy hemmed and hawed, blushing, and finally, voice almost coaxing his mother not to be upset, started, "Well, Ezra was real, real upset, and then he was trying to run away maybe, I ain't quite sure, but I was so worried about him-and he's my best friend Ma, and I couldn't come home until I knew he was alright!" From coaxing to pleading by the end, and Mrs. Raley bit her lip, before reaching out and stroking his hair.
"I do understand he's very important to you, but Eli, I worried about you for hours. Town isn't that far away on Toby, you could've come home to let me know where you were going to be. Is Ezra alright?" Her voice was gentle, almost the opposite of scolding, but it seemed to have the desired effect as Eli hung his head and nodded, muttering an apology. When the boy didn't seem inclined to say anything else, Nathan cleared his throat slightly and gave Eli a serious, expectant look. For a second he thought he would keep silent, but then his lips opened again.
"Ma…I was gonna stay in town until I got a chance to talk to him…only…" Eli gulped, "after I knew he was in for the night…I was gonna stay until tomorrow." There was a pronounced silence and Mrs. Raley stared at her son as though she couldn't understand him, or possibly as though she didn't recognize him. Nathan felt distinctly uncomfortable. Not that he'd been at ease before, but the urge to fade back into the shadows was mighty strong as the quiet stretched on.
"Go inside and get ready for bed, Eli. We'll talk more when I come in." Her voice was still quiet, still gentle, but as she turned her son by the shoulders and gave him a small push, Eli got without another word. Once the boy was inside, door shut behind him, she turned back to Nathan, "I hope Ezra is alright?"
"A might shook up, ma'am, but he'll be alright." Figuring it wasn't fair for her to hear the bad and not the good, he continued, "Eli was actually a big help earlier on, let us know what was wrong and where he'd last seen Ezra." It was only when her face softened that Nathan realized how tense it had been.
"That's nice to know. Thank you." Then she took a step back, drawing her shawl tight around her shoulders, and Nathan moved towards Brevit, saying a quiet goodnight and receiving a soft reply as he remounted and the woman returned to the house to talk to her son.
*.*.*.*.*
It was a quiet, tense discussion. Four men sat around the table, heads bent close together and voices low. The saloon was nearly deserted, only a traveler who seemed likely to disappear up the stairs with the girl he was talking to any minute and 'ol Rudy' Turner passed out where he sat, snoring; the sound of Inez banging pots and around as she cleaned up occasionally drifting out from the back.
As the tale, not long, but complicated, came to a close, Chris found himself with the attention of three sets of eyes. He bit back a sigh. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, he wished they didn't always turn to him to make the decision, declare what was to be done. Josiah got the seeking advice, the soul searching, but when something had to be decided, they came to him.
Of course, the rest of the time he was damn glad they did, because for being capable, competent men, they could get into more trouble than the wildest pack of kids you'd ever meet.
Sighing, he shifted in his chair and then said quietly, resolutely, because it was the only thing that could be said with the (word phrase for more guilty than he ought to be) look on Josiah's face and Nathan giving him soulful eyes, hoping Chris would know how to fix it, "Don't see that it was anybody's fault. Just bad timing."
The shifting look on Nathan's face told Chris he disagreed, and biting back a bit of frustration-what, did the man want him to blame him?-he listened to what he said to say. Surprisingly, Nathan's words didn't match his face, not directly anyway, "I just can't get over Ezra thinking we were talking about him for so long. Hours. It should never have happened."
Chris nodded. That was true enough. "Still." That wasn't quite enough, wasn't exactly whatever Nathan had been looking for, but it settled him a little, the man leaning back in his chair with a small sigh.
"Reckon he'll need a bit a spoilin'." Vin's voice was calm, but resolute, and got him a small chuckle from Josiah and a surprisingly firm nod from Nathan.
"Don't know that I'd've put it the same way brother, but I reckon(?) I agree with that. The child needs to be enfolded in our care until he can no longer doubt it." With that Josiah, who was already a bit past tipsy, swallowed about half his beer. "On that note, I think an early night might aid me in that." Pushing himself back from the table, the preacher wobbled just a bit as he got to his feet, waving off Nathan's appraising eye.
"Thinking the hangover will be gone by the time Ezra drags himself out of bed?" Chris asked, voice dry, and had to chuckle at the grin and nod he got back.
"Exactly."
*.*.*.*.*
JD fought a yawn as he stumbled back towards his room, eyes blurry with sleep and bladder a lot happier than it had been before his trip to the back of the boarding house. The light still being on in Ezra's room, peeking out between the door and the floorboards, had his eyes scrunching together in confusion. He stared, then shuffled that way. Maybe Ezra had fallen asleep reading with the lights on, but maybe he'd woken up and couldn't fall back asleep. When he got to the door there was another problem. It was closed, and JD grimaced as he pictured knocking on it and waking the kid up. Biting his lip, JD shifted from foot to foot, more awake now.
He should probably just go back to sleep, his room and a mattress and blankets to bury himself in were waiting. Only, his more awake eyes showed him that Buck's door was ajar and there was a little light coming out from it too, and blinking to clear his sight, JD headed that way. He kept his footsteps slow, not wanting to wake Buck if he was asleep anymore than Ezra (or cranky old Mrs. Hill, who'd yell so everybody else would be awake and cranky too, JD knew from experience). Nobody was in Buck's room, but the light was drifting over from Ezra's anyway, the door that connected them hanging open, and with a yawn, even though he figured they'd probably just both fallen asleep in there, JD crept over to peek in, planning to go right back to sleep once he'd assured himself everything was alright.
Only for Buck, who was tucking blankets around a fast asleep Ezra, to look up at him the second his head bent around the doorway, surprised and then concerned as he patted the blanket covered lump and pushed himself to his feet.
"What are you still doin' up, pard?" Buck crossed the room as JD shrugged, eyes moving over to Ezra and then back to Buck, who was smiling a little now. "He's just fine, I promise." JD rolled his eyes, because jeez, when had he said he was worried?
"I know." He shrugged again. "But the light was on…" Buck, stepping back into his room now, caught JD about the shoulders, and to his utter embarrassment, pressed a very whiskery kiss to his forehead when he was close enough. "Buck! I'm not a baby!" Buck just laughed a little and shushed him, jerking his head back to the still open doorway behind them and starting to walk towards the hall, towing JD along with him for the journey.
"No, but as you tell me every time you're angling for the last piece of pie, you're still growin', and sleep is pretty darn important for that." Getting the message, even if he rolled his eyes again for good measure, JD nodded, opened his mouth to say goodnight and let out a jaw splitting yawn. "Yep, definitely time for some shut-eye, kid. I'll see ya in the morning."
"Night, Buck." Buck squeezed his shoulder before letting his hand drop, and resisting the urge to scrub at his eyes with a fist, because Buck already treated him like he wasn't much older than Ezra half the time, he made his way down the hall to his own room. JD pretended not to notice Buck watching until he was all the way inside.
*.*.*.*.*.*
*.*.*.*.*.*
It was a quiet, tense discussion. Four men sat around the table, heads bent close together and voices low. The saloon was nearly deserted, only a traveler who seemed likely to disappear up the stairs with the girl he was talking to any minute and 'ol Rudy' Turner passed out where he sat, snoring; the sound of Inez banging pots and around as she cleaned up occasionally drifting out from the back.
As the tale, not long, but complicated, came to a close, Chris found himself with the attention of three sets of eyes. He bit back a sigh. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, he wished they didn't always turn to him to make the decision, declare what was to be done. Josiah got the seeking advice, the soul searching, but when something had to be decided, they came to him.
Of course, the rest of the time he was damn glad they did, because for being capable, competent men, they could get into more trouble than the wildest pack of kids you'd ever meet.
Sighing, he shifted in his chair and then said quietly, resolutely, because it was the only thing that could be said with the (word phrase for more guilty than he ought to be) look on Josiah's face and Nathan giving him soulful eyes, hoping Chris would know how to fix it, "Don't see that it was anybody's fault. Just bad timing."
The shifting look on Nathan's face told Chris he disagreed, and biting back a bit of frustration-what, did the man want him to blame him?-he listened to what he said to say. Surprisingly, Nathan's words didn't match his face, not directly anyway, "I just can't get over Ezra thinking we were talking about him for so long. Hours. It should never have happened."
Chris nodded. That was true enough. "Still." That wasn't quite enough, wasn't exactly whatever Nathan had been looking for, but it settled him a little, the man leaning back in his chair with a small sigh.
"Reckon he'll need a bit a spoilin'." Vin's voice was calm, but resolute, and got him a small chuckle from Josiah and a surprisingly firm nod from Nathan.
"Don't know that I'd've put it the same way brother, but I reckon(?) I agree with that. The child needs to be enfolded in our care until he can no longer doubt it." With that Josiah, who was already a bit past tipsy, swallowed about half his beer. "On that note, I think an early night might aid me in that." Pushing himself back from the table, the preacher wobbled just a bit as he got to his feet, waving off Nathan's appraising eye.
"Thinking the hangover will be gone by the time Ezra drags himself out of bed?" Chris asked, voice dry, and had to chuckle at the grin and nod he got back.
"Exactly."
*.*.*.*
"Don't go eatin' all the bacon, now," Vin protested, swiping another slice off the platter before JD could grab them all.
"You already had four pieces!" Vin responded by shoving the crispy piece of meat into his mouth all at once, JD's glare belied by his twitching lips, but it didn't keep him from smacking at the tracker's shoulder.
"Knock it off." Chris snagged his cup of coffee out of the way of the roughhousing and scowled. Vin grinned back, still chewing on bacon, and JD, much to Ezra's amusement turned and offered him one of the slices out of his coveted pile. Despite already being nearly full, he accepted it with gracious thanks and then set it on the edge of his plate. The gesture was appreciated, but he didn't actually want to eat bacon that had been in anyone else's hand. Besides, he was saving room for his last biscuit.
Looking around at the cheerful-mostly-chaos surrounding him, Ezra found he was not entirely sure how to cope with the excessive way his…he refused to allow his cheeks to color as he finished the thought…family was doting on him. Buck was on one side of him, JD on the other, and even those who rarely ate in the boarding house were either across from him or around the farther edges of the long bench seats. They were all but putting on a show. It was really, he thought as he spread preserves on the top of a biscuit, almost humorous, if it weren't quite so discomfiting. In addition to his previous plans with Vin, he now had a fishing outing with JD in his future, and Chris had suggested a moment ago that Ezra might like the book he was finishing, 'Rob Roy' by Walter Scott and offered to loan it to him.
Of course, bringing up literature was always a risky subject around JD, and, bacon no longer a distraction, he scrambled in his jacket pocket for a, "Real wild, real exciting tale, Ez-I'm sure you'll like it," and pulled out his newest dime book. His description of it growing more colorful as he waved the book in the air, Ezra wasn't surprised as the others started finishing their last mouthfuls and taking their leave. As JD started reciting from, "the most interesting part, his head nearly gets clean chopped off," Ezra started eating his last bites of biscuit quicker himself. Apparently a grasp of grammar was not only unnecessary for a dime book, it was simply not allowed. It was the only possible explanation for the condition the tale had been allowed to be published in.
"The lead was flying thick, Ace Bandanna somersaulting through the air and landing without a scratch on him, and…"
Josiah walked down the street with a hand resting lightly on Ezra's shoulder, the hustle and bustle of the small town flowing smoothly around them-except for those who stopped to inquire about his young charge. Ezra seemed unsure whether to revel in or be mortified at the amount of attention he was receiving, and instead opted for his dignified gentleman routine. Which, Josiah stifled a chuckle, was always amusing, though he would never dream of telling the teen so.
Yes, things were certainly brighter this morning than they had been yesterday. He had plans to ask Ezra's opinion about several fundraising ideas he had in mind for the church's various projects. Redirecting his more avarice tendencies to something positive, as well as giving him the responsibility Josiah had a notion boys started to crave at this age, had long been a plan of the preacher's, and today seemed the perfect time to do it.
Chris had let Buck off his patrols after yesterday, knowing he wanted to keep Ezra close. Then they'd gotten a telegraph about potential cattle rustlers to the east just after breakfast and there hadn't been a choice. Buck had been needed, plain and simple; really they all had, but with his hip still playing him up a bit and no one liking the idea of leaving Ezra to his own devices after yesterday, Josiah had gladly stepped up to watch his young friend. It pleased him to have time with the boy, to restrengthen a bond that must've become a bit frayed for Ezra to believe what he had. Swallowing a frown, Josiah couldn't help but squeeze the shoulder beneath his hand, grinning at his charge when Ezra, busy with declaring that he could write a far better story than the dime novel JD had been regaling them with passages of at breakfast, nodded his head decisively to emphasize his conclusion. "I rather think you might. A bit more fun than writing compositions, too."
Ezra nodded, pleased, and Josiah supposed that when he had the boy for lessons tomorrow he might change the topic a bit. They were nearly to the church, Josiah turning them slightly to cut around to the back porch and the inviting patch of sun that warmed it this time of day, when another boy appeared, looking keenly around from the top of his horse, both anxious and eager. From the summary Nathan had given him early this morning, he wouldn't have expected Eli to be back in town so quick, but he stilled, turning Ezra's attention his friend's way.
There was a pause as they saw each other, and then Eli was reining his horse over to the nearest hitching post and Ezra was scurrying across the boardwalk. Then they were in front of each other, Josiah unable to help smiling at their nervous-mostly hidden on Ezra's part-hemming and hawing, neither quite sure what to say, but knowing they had to make the leap.
"I'm awful sorry!" "Ah truly apologize!" The two cries came in unison, and it was clear that neither boy had expected it from the other-Ezra was facing mostly away from him, but you could sense it in his stance, and he could see Eli blinking confusedly.
"Eli, you did not do anything-"
"But I'm the one who found the snakes, and-"
"Ah was cruel-"
"Only 'cause you were so upset, I know that." Eli gave a half smile here, somehow genuine and uncertain in one and rocked back and forth on his heels.
"Ah still should not have said it, it was untrue and unkind, and if Ah could unsay it Ah would." Ezra pleading for forgiveness he'd already won tugged at Josiah's heart, but he made himself keep quiet for now, letting them finish working it out.
"I shoulda listened when you said maybe we shouldn't," Eli's eyes darted over towards Josiah for a moment, guilty, "with the snakes."
"And when you wanted to put the eggs back after we took them Ah should've acquiesced." Josiah had to fight a snort as Ezra darted his own guilty glance back at him, obviously wondering if he should not have said that, before focusing back on his friend.
Eli shrugged, "Ma was mad, but it was my idea in the first place." That, and it was at least slightly possible that his throwing that egg at JD had been revenge for that, whether Eli had thought about it in those terms or not. As touched as he found himself at the boys' earnest apologies, Josiah was fairly certain that they would be keeping the peacekeepers on their toes for a long time. Also, that as the two were now smiling at each other, tentative at first, but growing wider by the second, if he wanted to interject a lesson now was the time to do it.
Clearing his throat expectantly, he waited for them to turn to him, and spoke just a bit solemnly, "It sounds to me like the two of you have a bit of a problem backing down when you think whatever mischief you're arranging will impress your best friend. You're forgetting, I think, that you like each other plenty just for being Eli and Ezra." Josiah looked meaningfully at each boy, who, to the preacher's credit, both looked suitably impressed with this insight and then a bit sheepish. He smiled. "So, Eli, Ezra and I were going to discuss fundraisers for the church. Since the two of you are so talented at coming up with ideas together, maybe you'd like to join us? Put those creative minds to good use. When is your mother expecting you home?"
Quickly pulling out a battered pocket watch Josiah hadn't noticed him carrying before, Eli, rambling a bit, informed them, "In about two hours, that's when I gotta eat lunch and do afternoon chores and Ma said I can't go out again after them this week."
Josiah nodded, pleased that Nathan's supposition that Mrs. Raley would be keeping a closer eye on her son seemed to be true, and started shepherding them along as Ezra wondered, curious, "Why is your mother making you stay home in the afternoons?"
"Well…"