I've debated about posting this story for several weeks now. I don't find myself that funny as a writer, so I'm skeptical about how the response would be, but I've decided to say eff it, and post it anyway.
I got the idea for this because I was laying in bed with my husband, and he let out this giant fart on me while he was sleeping. Me, with Sailor Moon being HEAVY on my mind lately, immediately got to thinking how Mamoru would handle something like this. You don't see or even read any fan fiction where Mamoru is just...human (except in the amazing FloraOne's stories-check her out, I'm obsessed with her!). I then immediately grabbed my phone and stayed up until almost 3 in the morning writing this. I'm proud of this little one shot, and I'm finally confident enough in it to share it with you guys. I do have a multi chapter fic coming up in the next few weeks that I'm excited to share with you guys, but I need to get it typed up, and out of my notebook first (if work will ever give me the time to do it!)
I hope you guys enjoy this one-shot!
Mamoru was a man of excellent composure. At least he considered himself to be. He trained himself to never overreact to anything at all including anything that excited, disturbed, or annoyed him, which meant that he was able to keep a straight face in most situations. Even when his girlfriend, Usagi who transformed into Sailor Moon, was in any kind of danger he still maintained his composure the best he could because he knew that any kind of overreaction without any thought could have killed her at any given time. Mamoru was even able to maintain his composure when he would host study groups with the Sailor Senshi, and the girls would go on about their feminine issues- things he did NOT want or need to hear about, but given that they were all fifteen year old girls, he knew it was inevitable and being a future doctor, he needed to be desensitized some way.
Mamoru was a man of composure for 18 years of his life, and then one fateful day during a study session with the girls, he managed to lose it.
The usual group of the Inner Senshi were spread through Mamoru's apartment. Ami and Rei were sitting on the floor with books open on the coffee table, discussing the chapter they were currently studying, Minako was sitting on the end of the couch pretending to listen to Rei and Ami, while actually listening to Taylor Swift through her AirPods, which she brilliantly hid. Makoto was in the kitchen washing the dishes from the Cajun meal she prepared for them (Makoto was always trying new foods from around the world). Usagi was sitting in between Mamoru's legs while he sat in the middle of the couch, with Chibi-Usa laying right next to him, napping.
"Thank you Mako-Chan for the wonderful meal! I never would have thought that Louisiana of all places would have amazing food!" Smiled Usagi.
"You're welcome!" Makoto smiled, blushing a little. "Just wait until we try their deserts and breakfast!"
"Ooo I can't wait!" Beamed Usagi.
"As much as I love your cooking Mako-Chan, I do have to ask, did you mean to make it THAT spicy?" Asked Rei.
"Yeah, actually according to several websites, people from Louisiana are serious about their spices. They like A LOT! Think about how much you would use to cook a normal meal, then times it by ten and that's how much they use," said Makoto.
"Wow! That's insane!" Said Usagi in disbelief.
"Well, I wanted to give you guys a true Louisiana experience-at least the best one I could give you!" Smiled Makoto.
The girls continued with their conversation, while Mamoru started to tune them out. By this point, Usagi placed her head on his thigh from her spot in between his legs on the floor, listening to everyone else talk and occasionally chiming in with her own thoughts. Mamoru had began to absentmindedly rub her shoulder with one hand, and read a book with his other hand. It was then that Mamoru began to feel uneasy. He felt his stomach begin to bubble, and from that alone he knew what was coming.
Mamoru stopped rubbing Usagi's shoulder, and gently put his book down. He whispered to Usagi, "I'll be right back."
"No, don't get up," pouted Usagi. "You'll wake Chibi-Usa, and she's been a brat all day. Plus, I'm really comfortable!"
"I know Usako, but I'm just going to the bathroom for a second," said Mamoru. He knew he didn't have much time, considering these things never gave any kind of warning. Normally, he would just step away for a second, or wait until they were in a crowd to let one lose, but being that he was literally surrounded by girls, two of which would lose their minds if he left them for even a second, he had to act fast.
Usagi pouted even more. "Aww come on, just hold it just a little bit longer so I can enjoy the peace and quiet."
Mamoru looked down at Usagi. "I'm sorry, but I just can't-"
In that moment, Mamoru let out a huge, loud fart, right next to his girlfriend's face.
The room was completely silent. Everyone in the room heard. Chibi-Usa opened her eyes, awoken by the sound.
Usagi's face immediately twisted in disgust. "Eww!"
Mamoru turned bright red. He couldn't move. He was frozen. His eyes were wide, and full of fear. Mamoru had literally stared into the face of death multiple times, and he would have rather do all of it again if it meant he could turn back time to where he could erase this moment.
After the initial shock, the girls busted out laughing. Not because of the fart per say, but because Mamoru farted in Usagi's face. Mamoru didn't know that though. He then stood up, and ran to the bathroom. He then turned on the shower so he could scream. "UGHHH!" He then sat on the toilet with his head in his hands.
There was a light tap on the bathroom door.
"Not now," Mamoru blurted out.
The door opened, and Usagi walked in. "Are you okay?"
Mamoru sighed. "I will be. I just need a minute."
"Okay, then I'll sit with you until you're ready," Usagi smiled gently as she sat on the tub next to him. "If that's okay?"
"You don't have to. That was awful enough," Mamoru groaned.
"Yeah, but everyone does it. I've heard worse from Ami after Mexican on multiple occasions. Mamo-Chan, you're human. It's okay," Usagi reassured him.
"Everyone laughed," Mamoru pouted.
"Because I wouldn't let you get up, and my face was right there when it happened," said Usagi. "If anything, they were laughing at me, and how it was my fault."
"It's embarrassing," said Mamoru.
"And it's something that I'll get used to hearing, and you'll hear from me, and a lot of your patients when you become a doctor. It's only a big deal if you make it one," said Usagi.
"You're right," sighed Mamoru. "But I can't go back out there yet."
"You don't have to, but know that everyone in there loves you no matter what," smiled Usagi. She then took Mamoru's hands down from his face, and kissed him gently.
Mamoru returned the kiss, and then pulled her to him, wrapping Usagi in a hug. "Thank you."
"Anytime," she smiled.
Mamoru was a man of composure, that was one thing that was for sure. However, sometimes that composure was broken, and he would be embarrassed, angry, heartbroken, or even whiny. It was okay though because he had the most magnificent girlfriend in the world who would one day become his wife by his side to assure him that when he couldn't hold his composure, it was okay. And to him, it was everything.