I get home, and collapse on the couch. Then I remember my clothes aren't as comfortable as they could be, and so I get up off my precious couch and drag myself to my room to get my pajamas. I change into them.
I go back and flop down on my couch. Just then, the door rings. I groan and debate for about three seconds whether or not i should open the door. I decide to open it. I grab my wand on the way to the door.
I open it, and nearly close it again. The person at the door was none other than Sirius Black.
He tackles me in a hug, his arms tight around my waist, head on my shoulder. He slams the door with his leg, and shouts, "You stupid idiot! Why wouldn't you tell me?! You KNOW I'd do anything to help you, why the fuck wouldn't you have told me about that?!", then he lifts me in his arms bridal style and places me to sit on the couch, flopping down next to me, before I even have a chance to take a breath.
He stares at me expectantly, like 'get talking' or something. Eyes well up in my tears. I've missed him so much, and I don't know where to start explaining.
His expression softens when he sees my eyes full of tears. His beautiful, coffee bean brown eyes, gold around the edges, gaze into my dark green ones, and he says, "I'm sorry," quietly.
I open my mouth to speak, "I…" but never finish that sentence, because the tears began flooding out of my eyes. Sirius embraces me, and I sob into his chest.
He strokes my hair comfortingly, and places his head on top of mine. We stay like that for a while, till I calm down. When I do, I remove my face from his chest and sit up properly.
I try again, "I… I don't know how to say it."
"Say it the way you thought about it," he says.
"You were in danger, love," I manage to say.
"You know I would die for you!"
"I had no choice!"
"C'mon baby, there's always options.'
"Like?"
"First of all, aren't you an expert at Occlumency? I mean, Legilimency, not so much, but you're an amazing Occumulens! I mean, when you're trying. Right now I can judge just based off your expression that you're going to say something to counter what I just said."
"..."
He smiles at my silence.
"Voldemort is an expert Legilimens, see," I finally say.
"You should have told me."
"He would have killed everyone I love!"
"But the Order would have protected them before Voldemort even found out"
"How do you know?"
"Well sometimes, baby, a little bit of optimism is necessary."
I glare at him. He laughs.
Did I mention that that absolute git is my fiancee?
"No other options were available at the given moment, love," I reply.
He puts his arm on my shoulders, and pulls me closer to him. I lean into him and wrap my arms around his waist.
God, how I missed this. I missed his touch, I missed his beautiful eyes, his gorgeous smile, his silky black hair, his soft lips, the way he looks at me. His laugh is my favorite song.
I miss his arms around me, I miss our long talks.
I miss him.
Suddenly, I break down again, and start crying once more.
"What's wrong baby?" asks Sirius.
"I just realized how - *sob* - how much I need you," I reply.
"You don't need me… You just think you do," he murmurs, just loud enough for me to hear.
I look up at him, "What do you mean?"
He sighs, "You're strong on your own, you don't need me. I'm just... here. Always. I'm always here for you, but, in reality, you don't need me."
"What, you don't love me?"
He kisses me in response.