Chapter 13

We walked back to the apartments, neither of us saying much. I had my hands in my jacket pockets, pulling it down in front of my crotch to hide the fact that my dick was straining against my fly at the thought of kissing Arthur. I got so worked up thinking about it, that by the time we reached my door, I thought I'd come in my pants the minute our lips met. I almost dropped the key when I tried to unlock the door, then attempted to stick it in the lock upside down. Arthur waited patiently beside me, not saying anything. If I'd been him, I'd have been laughing, and not with hysteria.

Finally, I got the door open and led him inside. He took off his jacket and hung it up. I did the same, my back turned to him while I untucked my shirt at the front so it would cover my obvious arousal.

"You want more coffee?" I offered.

"No."

I thought if I led him into the living room and invited him to sit down, I'd feel awkward, as if I was setting the scene. It was stupid. When I thought about it, I'd only ever kissed Gerry, and the kid I got to know in school. I didn't kiss when I paid for it, and Betsy had run a mile before things got to that stage. Now, I just wanted to get into it.

I turned to Arthur, cupped his face in my hands, and pressed my lips to his. His lips parted, but at first he didn't seem to know what to do. He stayed completely still, letting me kiss him and not responding in any way. I drew away a little, then went back in with a gentle caress. Gradually, he relaxed and kissed me back, hesitant and clumsy. He lifted his hands and rested them on my back, encouraging me to press closer. I slid my arms around him and guided him backwards until he was against the wall.

He felt so thin in my arms. I could reach almost all the way around him, and feel the ridge of his spine, his ribs, and his hipbones. Wherever I touched, I felt bones through his clothes. I ignored it, and slid my tongue into his mouth. He hesitated, unsure what to do, but then he responded, his tongue sliding against mine as he copied me. A soft moan came from him, muffled by our lips. I hummed with pleasure, and pressed my body harder against his. He must have been able to feel my erection, but it didn't seem to worry him. He held onto me tighter, and his response to my kisses grew more heated. I moved my hips, desperate to grind against him, but trying not to let things get too out of hand.

Arthur groaned, and dug his fingertips into my back. He shuffled his feet, parting his legs so I could move between them. He was hard. I felt it against my hip, and I broke the kiss with a groan. My heart raced. I turned my attention to Arthur's neck, and gently nibbled beneath his ear. He arched his neck back and rested his head on the wall, gasping as I bit harder. I rolled my hips in an effort to get some friction, and my balls pulled up. Shit, I was close. I tried to slow things down, returning to Arthur's lips with more gentle kisses.

"Travis." His tone was filled with frustration. "Don't stop." He pressed his lips harder against mine, and sought my tongue with his own.

What the hell. I thrust into his mouth and crushed his lips. I rubbed my lower body against his, grinding my dick into his groin. He moved a little and suddenly his erection was against mine, frustratingly separated by two sets of pants and underwear. But it was enough for both of us. He jerked and shuddered in my arms, then pulled his mouth away from mine to breathe. The feel of him coming pushed me over the edge, and I spilled hot and wet into my underwear. My instinct was to pull away now it was over, but I quelled the urge and thought about it. What would he want? He'd never even kissed before. Things had gone a lot further than he probably anticipated. I stayed where I was and held him close, my cheek resting against his as we caught our breath. "You okay?" I murmured.

"Yes, that was—" He laughed softly. "Wow."

I grinned, and kissed his jaw. "You liked that, huh?"

"Yes. You must want more, though."

"Arthur." I nudged his cheek with my nose, then pulled my head back so I could meet his eyes. "You know I haven't done much before. I'm not in a rush. This is good."

"But you've had sex, right?"

"A handful of times with Gerry. And a couple of times—" I paused. "I'm not proud of this, but I paid for it in New York."

"It's okay."

"My point is, I never had a proper relationship, and I'm not in a hurry with you. Yesterday, I wasn't even sure if you wanted to go on a date with me."

Arthur grinned. "I'm assuming now you know I did."

"You assume right. I hope I haven't blown my chances, and that you'll agree to another one."

"You'll have to ask me some time and find out." Arthur's smile widened, and his eyes shone as he gazed into mine.

"I'll do that. Much as I hate to do this, I'm gonna have to get changed and go to work."

"I know." He leaned closer again and brushed his lips over mine. "I'll see you soon?"

"Do you want to have breakfast with me tomorrow? I'm a lousy cook, but I could throw together some bacon and eggs."

Arthur nodded. "I'd like that. What time?"

"Seven?"

"Okay." He slipped out of my arms, took his jacket, and let himself out.

I headed for the bathroom to clean myself up. When I caught sight of myself in the mirror, I had a grin a mile wide on my face. I definitely wouldn't be writing any details of our date in Dr Kane's journal. Maybe in my personal one.

I didn't work so long that night. I wanted to try to get a couple of hours' sleep before I had breakfast with Arthur, so I dropped off my last fare at one-thirty and went home. I took only one sleeping pill, which of course didn't have much effect. I tossed and turned, unable to relax, and eventually got up again and wrote in my journal. It was the early hours of Tuesday and my next appointment with Dr Kane loomed.

I went back to bed at four and closed my eyes. What seemed like minutes later, I woke with a start at the sound of knocking. My first thought was that I'd been screaming, but I hadn't been torn from a nightmare. Then I glanced at my watch and saw it was seven o'clock.

"Shit!" I leapt out of bed, dragged on a pair of jeans over the underwear I'd slept in, and hurried to the door. "Sorry, Arthur," I said as I pulled it open.

"Did I wake you up? I'm sorry. I can come back." He bit his lip.

"No, come in. I didn't fall asleep until four." I reached for his hand and tugged him inside. "I didn't want to oversleep so I only took one sleeping pill. Then I couldn't sleep for hours."

"I didn't sleep much either." Arthur smiled shyly.

"Something on your mind?"

"I was thinking about you." Much to my surprise, he moved closer and kissed my cheek.

I turned my head and brushed my lips against the corner of his mouth. "You want to go and sit down? I'll just freshen up. Then I'll make breakfast."

Arthur went to sit down, and I grabbed some clothes from my bedroom before heading for the bathroom. I took the fastest shower in history, brushed my teeth, and made for the kitchen.

I made coffee first, and took Arthur a mug before I started on the food. I was a terrible cook, and I watched the bacon like a hawk so I wouldn't burn it. I fried the eggs and managed not to overdo them, but I was so busy trying not to ruin them, I burnt the toast and had to scrape the black bits off. I slathered on some butter and took the plates into the living room.

"Thank you. This looks great," Arthur said.

"No, it doesn't, but hopefully it won't taste too bad. I burnt the toast."

He chuckled. "I leave my toast in too long on purpose. I like it to taste of something. Penny hated it like that. She used to tell me one minute on each side was long enough, just enough to warm and crisp it up."

I tried not to eat too quickly, but I was starving and had cleared my plate before Arthur had eaten one piece of bacon and his egg. He picked at the food, taking tiny bites and poking it around the plate. For a moment, I thought he wasn't enjoying it, but then I remembered he had always struggled with food. I wanted to ask him about it, but wasn't sure how.

"You can ask, you know," he said, as he nibbled slowly on the corner of a piece of toast.

"I don't want to upset you."

"You won't. I trust you. Can I smoke?"

"Sure." I grabbed my pack of cigarettes from the table, lit two, and passed him one. He took a long drag on it, blew out the smoke, then took another bite of toast.

"You know what's in my file. I don't really remember any of that. My mind blocks it out. I know they starved me, though. I lived in care homes after that, until I was sixteen. I was bullied." He gave up trying to eat the toast and put his plate aside. His hand shook as he lifted the cigarette to his lips.

"You don't have to tell me." I took his free hand in mine.

"No, but I want to. Dr Kane would be pleased." He barked out a laugh. "Do you have an appointment today?"

"Yes, at eleven."

"Mine's at ten. Maybe we could go together."

"I thought that. We can go in my car. Then if it's tough, we don't have to face the train or walk."

Arthur nodded. "Thank you. That would be good." He drew hard on the cigarette again. "The other kids in the homes—and there were a lot of homes—didn't understand me. When I got upset and laughed, they called me a freak. I'd get beaten and other stuff. I didn't have much of an appetite because I was scared all the time. The times I was able to eat properly, they'd call me a pig and tell me I'd get fat. They picked on me even more, and I'd be sick." He rubbed a hand over his face. "On purpose."

"Hell, Arthur," I groaned. "I'm sorry. You don't do that now, do you?"

"No. Not for a long time. But I can never eat much. Penny used to nag me about it and it made things worse. I think it's just habit, but I get full quickly. Then I feel sick and I don't want to be, so I stop eating." He took another cigarette from the pack, and lit it from the first. "You must think I'm disgusting."

"No, I don't." I let go of his hand and slid my arm around him instead. "None of what has happened to you, or the way you are, is your fault. I told you I like you, Arthur, and nothing you tell me is going to change that. I'm not going anywhere."

He leaned against me and rested his head on my shoulder. "You're the first person to ever make me feel like I'm worth something. Life wasn't worth living before I met you."

I kissed his temple. "I feel the same. When I walked out of Arkham, I wondered what the point was. I wished they'd let me die in New York, instead of going to so much trouble to fix me. Now, I have you and it all seems worth it after all."