Doctor Ruth Ellingham, in her capacity as psychiatrist, had seen every shade of human behaviour at Broadmoor psychiatric hospital for her to know that there are depths to the human psyche that occasionally defy the closest and most intense scrutiny. Her brilliant mind had long ago learnt to filter the babble of irrelevant noise that went with exploring the human experience and had found ways to discern, in the midst of it, the essence of the person: what it was that drove them to do and say the things they did, what drove them to feel and act on the emotions they experienced; or not act at all, as sometimes happened.

What she was observing now however, was different, in that this time there was no psychiatric patient with outrageously deviant behaviour in front of her. Nevertheless, the person she was observing was just as complex, because there'd been so many layers to peel away before she could get to the essence of the man. And the man in question was her beloved nephew, Doctor Martin Ellingham, who now sat opposite her at her kitchen table, his meal hardly touched; his eyes sadder than she had ever seen them. And she'd seen them sad several times before. Haggard was a word that sprang to mind. What she was observing now, was a man close to breaking point, and he'd come to her for help.

"Much as I'd like to be your therapist Martin, I can't. It's against the rules and for a very good reason." Her voice was gentle but firm. "I can't be expected to be unbiased, can I?

He looked up briefly, then busied himself with folding his napkin, but not before Ruth had seen the despair in his eyes. When he eventually spoke, his voice was hardly above a whisper.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Aunt Ruth. Everything I do or say just makes things worse in Louisa's eyes."

Ruth drank the last of her wine and carefully put the glass down as she thought of how best to say what she wanted to say. Usually she would just come out with it in a clinical, logical way, much like Martin always did, but looking at the state he was in, she knew that this would not help matters. She sighed inwardly and instead asked, "What is it you really want Martin?"

He didn't look up. "I want Louisa to stay…for her to be happy." His voice was low.

"And why is she unhappy?"

He rubbed his hand over his eyes. "I don't know…she confuses me."

Ruth remained silent. It was a tactic that never failed to work when she was interviewing patients. They would quickly grow uncomfortable with the silence and most times they would begin to talk just to fill it. One learnt a lot like that. Martin wasn't like most patients though. The silence stretched interminably as he folded and re-folded his napkin. But eventually he did speak.

"She says that we should be apart until we've sorted out our…differences. But I'm not exactly sure what she means by 'differences', or what I'm supposed to do. Every time I say something it just seems to make things worse." He rubbed his hand over his eyes again. "And if I don't speak for fear of upsetting her, she gets even more upset."

Ruth still didn't speak and Martin fiddled with the spoon next to his plate. When he spoke, his voice sounded almost despondent.

"She says one thing, but often means another entirely."

Ruth could only imagine what went on when Martin and Louisa 'talked'. He was by nature a man of few words and when he did speak it was usually in literal, logical terminology. Louisa on the other hand was more animated and chatty. It was at best an unbalanced line of communication and, at the moment, she was willing to bet there was hardly any physical communication either. Or she assumed there wasn't, given the current circumstances.

"Martin, when last have you shown Louisa any physical affection?"

Martin frowned and cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the question.

"Uhh…what do you mean?"

"When last have you held her, made love to her...that sort of thing?"

"Aunt Ruth!" he spluttered, "That's…none of your business." A faint blush crept up his neck.

"So...not recently then." She watched him fidget, his brow creasing as he glanced up at her.

"It is a relevant question Martin; I am not just prying into your private life."

Ruth got up and switched on her espresso machine. Perhaps if she wasn't sitting opposite him he would open up a little.

"Umm…Louisa has made it clear that she doesn't want me near her." His voice was low. "She's moved out with James Henry... found a place up near the school."

Ruth could hear the hurt in his voice. He adored his son and she knew it was hard for him not to be near him. She set two espresso cups under the nozzle of the machine and pressed the button. Soon the rich aroma of coffee wafted into the air.

She placed a cup in front of him and sat down again. "I'm sorry to hear that Martin."

"Yes."

"What happened this time?"

Martin gave a sigh, then mumbled, "Infant vaccinations."

Ruth's eyebrows shot up. "Infant vaccinations?" Of all the reasons she'd been given for the breakup of a relationship, infant vaccinations had to take first prize.

"Yes...I…err…I mentioned to Louisa that I had given James his…umm…his first inoculation."

Ruth could just imagine what happened next.

"And she asked why you hadn't consulted her first?"

He looked surprised. "Yes…how did you know?"

"Martin…even I would want to know that given the same circumstances."

Ruth could see him grappling with the logic.

"Well…I thought it was a simple thing. A child needs to be inoculated at specific times in their infancy. James Henry had reached that first stage. I am James' father and a doctor; therefore it was logical that I should just do it with the minimum amount of fuss." He looked up at Ruth. "I couldn't see there being a problem with that...but clearly I was wrong."

His hands came together and he twisted the ring on his left hand.

"Louisa exploded with rage. She wanted to know how I could go ahead and do something as important as that without talking to her first. How dare I make unilateral decisions about our child? I...I just thought..." His voice petered out.

Martin could still hear the conversation in his head as if Louisa was in the room with them. She'd stood in his consulting room with her hand on her hip, her eyes blazing with fury.

"How could you Martin."

"So you didn't want James to be innoculated? Louisa, we've spoken about this before. The myth about autism and the like is absolute rubbish...studies have shown…"

"No Mar-tin, it's got nothing to do with side effects and don't you dare quote studies at me...you should have told me you were going to do it!"

"I'm confused. So you did want James to be innoculated? So why are you so upset?"

"Ohhh...you don't get it, do you? You never do…"

She had stormed out of his consulting room and into the kitchen where she'd gone about preparing supper with barely controlled fury. Neither of them could eat much and James picked up on the tension and fussed more than usual.

"Louisa...I didn't mean to upset you...I just didn't think it was that much of a…"

His words dried up as she'd looked up from her plate and fixed him with a stare that was almost resigned.

Martin came back to the present and looked over at his aunt.

"She also brought up the time I'd made a date for James' christening, even though that was months ago."

Ruth remembered that time very well.

Martin tried to see the connection between the christening and the vaccination. He conceded that he had set the date for the christening without actually talking to Louisa first but, in his own defence, he had looked at her diary and seen that the date was free. He'd been free too and it was the only date in the following three months that the vicar had been free as well, so it was a logical decision. He thought he was doing the right thing and still couldn't understand why she'd been so upset.

Ruth felt for Martin. She was after all an Ellingham too and could quite clearly see the logic in his actions. What Martin failed to understand though was that it had nothing to do with the christening or the vaccination, but everything to do with leaving Louisa out of the process. Ruth had no doubt that Louisa would have agreed with Martin's planning in both instances, had he discussed it with her beforehand.

Ruth looked at her nephew's dejected posture. His usually ramrod straight back seemed stooped and his head was down again.

"Martin, I can't be your therapist but as your Aunt I am going to give you some advice which, as you know, I don't normally do. It has a nasty habit of coming back to bite one, but in this case I am going to do it anyway."

She paused, trying to find the right words.

"From what I have observed, Louisa is a fiercely independent person. She's had to cope with abandonment…"

Martin's head shot up, "How do you know that?"

"People talk…and I'm a good listener," she said with her lopsided smile. "Louisa has fended for herself since she was very young, and now she is your wife and she expects you to at least include her when it comes to decisions that affect the family. What she needs is a partnership, not some eighteenth century patriarchal relationship. When you make this kind of decision and exclude her from the process, she feels disempowered. As if her opinion doesn't count."

"But it's not like that at all…of course her opinion counts." He looked even more confused. Then he frowned and lifted his chin. "And I'm not patriarchal. That's utter rubbish."

Ruth raised her eyebrows.

"Louisa loves you Martin, there's no question about that…but she's not willing to give up her right to be a part of any decision-making affecting James Henry's life. All she probably wanted was to be present when you administered the vaccination."

She leaned forward so that she could look into his downcast face.

"Include her Martin, she is after all James' mother and she does have a say in his upbringing."

"Mmm...yes."

"And another thing…" Ruth got up, taking her cup to the sink. "You need to start paying your wife some attention."

Martin frowned. He always gave Louisa his undivided attention when they were together.

It was as if Ruth could read his mind. "No Martin…I don't mean when she's talking to you…I mean as a man pays attention to the woman he loves."

Martin squirmed on his chair and a faint blush rose from under his collar. He cleared his throat and dropped his chin.

Ruth turned to face him and leaned against the counter.

"It's all in the little things, Martin. It's not just about sex - although, of course, that's important too. It's more about touching her often to show affection. It's about taking her out to dinner occasionally, complimenting her and making her feel special...that sort of thing. Wooing doesn't end when you get married you know. It's even more important as time goes on - it's about creating anticipation and making each other feel wanted. It's about little glances - little touches. Women in particular like that."

She gave a wry smile. She could see Martin's confusion and that he was uncomfortable hearing her talk like that. When he remained silent, she asked, "Don't you want to touch her, Martin?"

His head dropped even lower.

"Of course I do," he said softly. "I can't bear to be apart from her and yet all I seem to do is drive her away…"

Ruth saw him blink and swallow hard as he tried to control himself.

"Oh God…" He covered his eyes with his hand.

Ruth didn't move. Even though she wanted to, she knew that if she went to comfort him it would embarrass him and he would withdraw. So, she busied herself with rinsing cups and waited until Martin eventually regained his composure. He wiped his face with one of the pristine handkerchiefs he always carried on him.

"Umm…an emotional response to a stressful situation...mmm," he mumbled, still not looking up.

"You don't have to explain. Whether you'd like to admit it or not, you are a deeply sensitive man who loves his wife very much and frankly, I'm surprised that you haven't reached this point before now."

She sat down again and laid her hand on the table next to his.

"Martin…if you want Louisa back, you are going to have to show her you're not going to give up. You have to take the initiative and show her how much you love her."

He swallowed hard but said nothing.

"Saying 'I love you' is a very good thing but showing her is even better. That's a powerful thing. Don't hold back. 'Go for it', as Al would say."

Martin looked up and Ruth saw a spark of hope in her nephew's eyes and noticed for the first time just how expressive those eyes were. She patted his hand, then stood up.

"You'll have me blubbing next," she said gruffly. "Now go home and work out how you are going to show Louisa what a loving and attentive husband you can be."

Martin's mouth lifted slightly in what could almost pass as a smile.

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