Chapter Twentyfour: Greetings from a Stuffed Toy

It was an afterschool activity called hollow hunting which Ichigo was concerning himself with these days. As he and Rukia made their way through the streets he tried to suppress his worry. What if someone found his body. He'd thought they had hidden it well, but maybe they hadn't hid it well enough.

'So where are we headed now?' asked Ichigo.

'A young girls spirit is about to come under attack.' said Rukia 'You'll have to be ready.'

'Great.' said Ichigo 'Looks like I'm fighting demons now.'

'A piece of advice, Ichigo.' said Rukia.

'Yeah.' said Ichigo.

'When you attack the mask, come from behind.' said Rukia 'Otherwise you might see the person they used to be.'

'Gotcha.' said Ichigo.

Then they saw her. She was fleeing down the street and being chased by an ogre like monster which lumbered after her. It roared.

'There she is.' said Rukia.

'Help!' cried the girl 'Help me please!'

'Hang on kid!' said Ichigo, rushing at the hollow.

The beast drew closer and closer and as Ichigo ran at it he realized what he was doing. What was he doing here? He wasn't qualified to fight monsters. But then, if he didn't, no one else could.

The beast swung at the girl.

'Get down!' cried Ichigo, pushing the girl down.

He felt the wind as the beasts arms swung over his hand and he rolled away with the girl, getting distance between them. The beast followed.

'Ichigo! Use your sword!' cried Rukia.

His sword. Right, he had to kill this thing. This ten foot tall monstrousity with teeth bigger than him. Ichigo readied his sword and barely rolled away as the monster groped for him. It was now or never.

He slashed at the hand. There was a horrific shriek and the limb broke off. The monster reeled back. Ichigo rushed at the leg and slashed it. It fell backward and as it did Ichigo leaped into the air and brought down his sword. It cleaved through the mask, through the face beneath and deep into the beasts heart.

With a final shriek the beast faded away.

It had happened so quickly. He'd hardly even realized he'd been doing it. He hadn't even had time to feel scared. Then again he'd felt scared when attracting the attention of one of these monsters when he didn't have powers.

Maybe he'd gotten it out of his system.

'Gotcha.' said Ichigo, smirking. 'Hey kid, if you don't want to go through that you'd better hurry up and pass on.' And he kneeled by the heart and tapped her with the back of his sword.

She closed her eyes and faded into light.

'You did that quite beautifully.' said Rukia.

'All in a days work I guess.' said Ichigo, trying to seem cool. 'Let's go home.'

The next morning before school Ichigo looked at what looked like a candy dispenser. He raised an eyebrow and glanced to Rukia. 'What's this?'

'This is a soul candy.' said Rukia 'It is a spirit which takes control of your body while you're hunting hollows. That way we can avoid attracting attention.'

'Great.' said Ichigo. Then it hit him. 'Wait a pill with a soul?'

'Not a soul.' said Rukia 'A soul candy. They don't really have souls. Just take it.'

'Fine.' said Ichigo, taking it. He drew out the candy and swallowed one down.

Instantly he was shunted out of his body and stared at it. It was standing tall and the posture instantly changed. He looked… chipper. 'Ichigo Kurosaki reporting for duty.' said his body 'Early to bed, early to rise, always on time.'

'That is a terrible impression.' said Ichigo 'Also this seems… unethical.'

'What do you mean?' asked Rukia.

'Well I mean creating a sentient life form just to temporarily hold your body and then spend the rest of the time trapped in a small pill seems really kind of sick is all.' said Ichigo.

'They aren't sentient Ichigo.' said Rukia 'They're just a preprogrammed personality. It isn't as though they are really alive.'

'Well am I sentient?' asked Ichigo.

'Don't be stupid Ichigo.' said Rukia 'Of course you're sentient.'

'Why?' asked Ichigo.

'What?' said Rukia.

'Why am I sentient?' repeated Ichigo.

'This is silly.' said Rukia 'We both know you're sentient.'

'But why?' asked Ichigo 'Prove it.'

'You're intelligent and are self aware.' said Rukia 'Your soul is part of the cycle of death and rebith. When you die a soul reaper will perform a lonso on you and send your spirit to the soul society. A soul candy isn't like that. They don't have souls.'

'So I'm sentient but the mod is not.' said Ichigo.

'Yes.' said Rukia in annoyance. 'Obviously.'

'Okay so your third criteria is that the soul candy doesn't have a soul.' said Ichigo 'But let's talk about criteria one. Is he intelligent?'

'…Yes.' said Rukia after a moment. 'It has the ability to learn and understand and adapt to new situations.'

'Like school?' asked Ichigo.
'Yes.' said Rukia.

'But what is a soul?' asked Ichigo 'What does that mean? Is a soul merely a collection of ectoplasm which makes up the core of our being?'

'A soul is who you are Ichigo.' said Rukia.

'Really?' asked Ichigo 'Well who I am is determined by my memories. By what I do from this day to the next. By what choices I make. If that is to be our criteria for a soul, and this soul candy passes.'

'It isn't really learning!' said Rukia 'It isn't capable of thinking or reasoning on its own. It exists only between the time when your body swallows that pill and when it coughs it up. Its a machine.'

'A machine which can learn and adapt during its function, then?' guessed Ichigo.

'Yes!' said Rukia, not entirely comfortable with the situation. Why did he have to ask this weird questions. 'Humans have created computers which can adapt to certain situations. But they don't think.'

'Fine.' said Ichigo 'Let's move on to criteria number two. Why am I self aware?'

Rukia thought of all her lessons and came up blank. She thought some more. 'Because you… aware of yourself. When you look in the mirror you think "thats me?"'

'You, soul candy, what is going on now?' asked Ichigo.

'Um…' the soul candy looked a bit lost. 'you guys are talking about whether I am alive or not. Whether I count as a person or a thing.'

'Hmm, he seems pretty self aware to me.' said Ichigo.

'I… I don't know… ' began Rukia. She was saved by a beeping noise. 'We've got orders! Come on quickly!' And she dragged Ichigo off.

No sooner had the soul reapers left and the mod soul began to run and jump. He leaped from building top to building top. He attracted stares, but enjoyed every moment of it. Finally people could see him! He existed!

'This is so amazing!' he cired 'What a bunch of bores! I can run so fast!' And he laughed.

Eventually he got to the school. But he didn't bother to go through the front door. Why would he? He leaped to the top window where he recognized his class. Then he opened it.

As he entered he saw people staring at him. Girls staring at him. Incredibly pretty girls staring at him.

'Ichigo,' said the dark haired girl, Tatsuki was it. 'what are you doing?'

'Wow, all of the girls in this room are incredibly hot.' he thought. Then he saw the orange haired beauty near Tatsuki. 'And oh my god! Those boobs! They're the size of melons!'

He surged forward and took the girl, Orihime by the hands, drawing near. The knockers on her chest were gigantic, practically bursting out of her school uniform. And those big innocent eyes and auburn haired. 'Hello lovely Lady. Let me be your knight in shining armor.'

Tatsuki got behind him and hauled him back. 'Ichigo, knock it off!'

The mod soul craned his head backwards and looked at her. 'You're not so bad yourself.'

And then he kissed her.

What then ensued was like the awakening of a sleeping dragon. Tatsuki Arisawa grabbed the mod soul and threw him against the wall, smashing him through several desks. She moved with a vicious speed, rushing at him with bloodlust in her eyes.

Before the mod soul could move she grabbed a desk and began to wail at him, smashing him downwards repeatedly. He felt his bones cracking and screamed in agony before everything went black.

Ichigo cut the hollow in half with a perfect downwards stroke from behind. Cleaving through it he landed on one knee, misjudged his balance and hit the ground. 'Ow.' he said, getting up. 'Landings aside that was easier than last time.'

'Hollows vary widely in strength.' admitted Rukia 'But don't let your guard down. All of them are dangerous.' She eyed Ichigo's sword oddly. She kept doing that.

'Why are you looking at my sword?' asked Ichigo.

'Um, well it's just, uh,' Rukia paused 'I've never seen a soul reaper who wielded such a long sword.'

There was a long awkward silence. '…Yeah I'm just going to let that pass.'

There was a ringing sound. Rukia drew out her soul phone. 'A call. Kisuke Urahara. What? What do you mean you didn't sell me a soul candy! Damn it Urahara I am sick to death of this! We just put it into Ichigo's body!' She hung it up.

'What is it?' asked Ichigo.

'It turns out we're not talking about a soul candy here.' said Rukia 'Urahara sold us a mod soul.'

'What's the difference.' asked Ichigo.

'Soul candy's aren't sentient. But mod souls, mod souls are.' said Rukia 'They were artificial souls created. The idea was that they could be implanted into the dead to serve as foot soldiers. But Central Forty Six deemed the project unethical and ordered the specimens destroyed.'

'What?!' said Ichigo. Was she serious?

'What's wrong?' asked Rukia, surprised at his anger.

'Rukia, please tell me that I did not hear you right.' said Ichgio 'Please tell me that the Soul Society did not create an entire race of sentient beings, change its mind, and committ genocide on them.'

'I… Ichigo you have to understand the original plan was to place the mod souls into gigai.' said Rukia 'But for some reason the mod souls couldn't interface. The only host they could take were real bodies, alive or dead.'

'How the hell is that their fault?!' asked Ichigo.

'The Soul Society is in charge of maintaining the balance between the worlds.' said Rukia 'Our responsibility is so great that-'

'Lady, I don't care if you are led by the God Emperor of Mankind and are the only thing standing between the world and a host of eldritch gods who seek to tear the universe asunder! No one has the right to commit genocide!' snarled Ichigo.

'The very nature of mod souls was immoral.'
'But they never had a choice did they?!' asked Ichigo. 'Did they?!'

'I…' Rukia couldn't find a way to answer.

'Were they exterminated because they went around killing people?' asked Ichigo 'Or was it because you didn't like the idea of despoiling dead bodies?'

'I don't know.' admitted Rukia.

'Well then maybe you should ask some fucking relevant questioned before you declare an entire species evil by nature!' said Ichigo 'Evil comes from choice! They didn't choose to be born! If there was something evil about their design than you should have killed the people who commissioned them or built them or someone who actually had something to do with the process!

Now come on, let's find this mod soul before anything else gets hurt. We'll start with the school.'

They ran on in silence. Rukia had no idea what to say. She'd never seen Ichigo this angry. And she didn't like the way he questioned everything. The Soul Society was improving, far better than it was before. So why did he keep pointing out problems?

They came to the school and found an ambulance in front of it. That and several police cars. Tatsuk was being escorted into one of them. Well there's the school. 'What the hell is going on?'

'Ichigo look!' said Rukia.

Ichigo's body was being carried on a stretcer into one of the ambulances. He was heavily bandaged. The doors shut.

'That's me.' realized Ichigo 'Jesus Christ what the hell happened?'

'I don't know, but this could be trouble.' said Rukia 'I'll ask.'

She ran up to Orihime who was outside crying. Rukia put a hand on her shoulder. 'Orihime, what is happening here. Why is Ichigo unconscious?'

'He came in here through a window.' said Chad 'He was acting all weird and he started flirting with Orihime. Then Tatsuki tried to restrain him, and he kissed her.'

'WHAT?!' roared Ichigo.

No one heard him of course. He was still a soul reaper.

'What happened then?' asked Rukia.

'Tatsuki smashed him in the face with a desk.' said Chad 'She went berserk. I've never seen her like this. It was like she became a totally different person.'

'Will Ichigo be okay?' asked Rukia.

'I don't know.' admitted Chad 'But he didn't seem like himself either.'

'That wasn't Ichigo.' said Orihime suddenly.

'What?' said Chad.

'I can tell.' said Orihime 'That wasn't him.'

Rukia made her excuses and she and Ichigo left. 'This is bad. I'm going to have to work overtime to cover this up.'

'Get me on the phone with Hat and Clogs.' said Ichigoo 'Now. Then go and heal me.'

Rukia dialed the number and handed him the phone.

Ichigo put it to his ear as Rukia ran after the ambulance. He tapped his foot as the ringtone chimed in his ear. Finally someone picked up.

'Good morning, this is the Urahara Shop-' began Urahara,

'Listen to me you psychotic bastard!' said Ichigo. 'My best friend has just been arrested and thrown in jail because of the stunt which your mod soul pulled! Get your shit together, grab a memory wiper and fix this!'

'Relax Kurosaki.' said Urahara 'This kind of stuff happens all the time. It'll be a hectic afternoon but at the end of the day you'll be fit as a fiddle and Tatsuki will be back in school without so much as a mark on her permenant record.'

'It better.' said Ichigo.

'Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'd better head out.' said Kisuke 'Oh, and good job on the hollow hunting.'

'Shove it.' said Ichigo, before hanging up.

The mod soul awoke. The last thing he remembered was being beaten into unconsciousness by a desk. Now he saw the soul reaper girl from before That chick really had overreacted. A kiss was nothing more than a form of greeting.

'…That rose has thorns.' he muttered.

'What did you expect?' asked Rukia 'Didn't you even try to use the memories in Ichigo's head?'

'Why should I?' asked the mod soul 'They're not mine.'

'Well whatever you think you can't just going around doing whatever you want.' said Rukia.

His head hurt way too much to argue. But the pain was going away, gradually. 'Why are you healing me anyway?'

'Ichigo is my friend.' said Rukia 'I'm not about to let his body get ruined.'

'Right.' said the mod soul. He should have known it had nothing to do with him..

She finished and leaned back. 'There, that should do it for now. Just don't try to move too much-'

The mod soul leaped out of his bed and opened the window. 'See ya!

And he was home free again. Then he saw something heading toward the hospital.

Rukia rushed out the hospital while trying to keep up with the mod aoul. Trying, but failing. She breathed heavily. 'Damn it! These gigais legs can barely move!'

Then she heard a howl. A hollow was heading for the hospital. She groped for her soul phone, but realized she'd given it to Ichigo.

She had to go find him. But she'd never make it in time. Not before the hollow eat someone.

Then the beast was kicked in the side of the head. The mod soul landed and the monster turned to face him. 'Back off monster. You're not hurting anyone here.' said the mod soul 'Now catch me if you can!'

He ran but the hollow pursued. He leaped from rooftop to rooftop, just close enough to give the hollow hope. But just far enough to stay out of reach.

'He's not striking at it.' mused Rukia as she followed. 'Why not?'

Then Ichigo arrived. 'Rukia I'm here. Where's the hollow?'

'He's chasing after the mod soul! Come on!' said Rukia.

And the hunt was on.

Tatsuki Arisawa sat in a featureless steel room. There was a one way mirror and one door And nothing else. Her hands were cuffed in front of her. What had happened? Why had she lashed out like that? One minute she'd been shocked and then she'd heared whispers.

She'd flown into a rage. Now Ichigo was in the hospital and she was at a prison. She'd end up in juvenile hall at this rate. And she'd never see her friends again.

Then the door opened and a man with a cane and a striped hat walked in. 'Ms. Arisawa I presume. Somebody has a temper.'

'Who are you?' asked Tatsuki.

'Oh I'm a friend.' said Kisuke, before raising a strange device. 'I'm going to need you forget about today.' He pressed a button and smoke shot into Tatsuki's face. She breathed it in and felt her memories tugged on.

But they did not leave her.

'What the hell was that?' asked Tatsuk.

The man raised an eyebrow. 'Well this is interesting. You seem to have a lot more spiritual pressure than expected.'

'What is that supposed to mean?' asked Tatsuki.

He shielded his face with a fan. 'Nothing. Your beatdown of Ichigo Kurosaki has been stricken from record. When you get back to school no one will even remember it happened. I suggest you forget as well. Oh, and if you see any monsters come to me.'

'What, you think the police are just going to leave the door open?' asked Tatsuki.

Then the man was gone. The door was open and her hand cuffs were gone too. Tatsuki stood up and made her way over to the door. Looking out it she saw a number of guards lying unconscious on the ground. Walking through the police station she found everyone around her was unconscious as well. Every door was unlocked.

'…What the hell?' she said.

She made her way out of the police station and halted. There was a presence here. Something that felt familiar somehow. A blur of white shot past her and she looked up. There, standing on a power pole, was a boy her age. His face was pale and he wore a white half of a samurai helmet on one side of his head. His eyes were dark green.

'You… who are you?!' called Tatsuki 'What are you doing here?'

Then he was gone too.

'Am I going nuts?' she asked 'What is going on here?'

They found the hollow surging after the mod soul. Yet each time it lunged the mod soul leaped away. Rukia and Ichigo paused at the edge of the roof.

'Why isn't he fighting back?' asked Ichigo.

'I don't know.' admitted Rukia 'He should be more than capable of killing that thing.'

'Well I'll take his place!' said Ichigo, drawing his sword and leaping into the air. 'Hey ugly!'

The hollow looked up in shock. Before it could move Ichigo slashed downward and cut it in half lengthwise. This time he nailed the three point landing perfectly. He spun his sword around ad sheathed it.

'Well, that's over with.' he looked to the mod soul. 'Hey thanks for the help.'

'What?' said the mod soul 'Why are you thanking me?'

'You saved everyone in the Hospital didn't you?' asked Ichigo 'You didn't have to but you did. I'd beat you up for taking my body on a joyride but I think Tatsuki beat you to the punch. Seriously why did you do that? If you'd just pretended to be a normal soul candy you might have fooled us.'

'Yeah, until some paper pusher figured out that I wasn't.' said the mod soul 'Then I'd die. Like all the rest of my brothers and sisters. I wanted to do something with my life while I had it. You can't imagine what it was like, floating in a tank watching all the others disappear. Until at last I thought I would die too.

But something happened. I don't know what. I was saved. Misfiled.

Nobody… nobody should have the right to kill someone. No matter how evil they are. That is why, that is why I will never kill another sentient being.'

'Well what do we have here?' said a voice.

The mod soul turned and then a cane was put through his head. The pill fell out and landed on the ground while Ichigo's body fell limp. Kisuke kneeled down by it and picked it up. 'I'm sorry about that Ms. Kuchiki. I'll take this back and get you a replacement right away.'

'Hold on a minute.' said Rukia.

'Hmm.' said Kisuke.

'I believe that's my property you have there.' said Rukia.

Kisuke paused. '…If you say so.' He handed it back to Rukia. 'In any case Ichigo your friend Arisawa has gotten herself a get out of jail free card. I doubt anyone could press charges anyway, given the lack of notable injuries, but its done.'

'Thank you.' said Ichigo.

'Gratitude?' said Kisuke 'Hmm, that's unexpected.'

'Don't push your luck.' said Ichigo 'Let's go Rukia.'

As they walked home Ichigo considered the situation. 'So what are we going to do with this mod soul? It seems cruel to keep him trapped in a candy dispenser.'

Rukia spotted a stuffed lion lying abandoned on the road. 'What about that stuffed animal over there?'

Ichigo blinked. 'You could try, I guess.'

Rukia put the mod soul into the body. At once it came to life. 'What the… I have a body.'

'Not the best one.' mused Ichigo.

'I'm a stuffed animal!' said the mod soul in fury.

'What the hell do you want from me, Kon?' asked Ichigo 'I don't exactly have a surplus of corpses in my basement. The stuffed animal is the best I can do. You want a gigai, go to Urahara.'

'Wait Kon?' asked the mod soul 'That's a stupid name! Why not something cool!'

'Cool names are anything but cool.' said Ichigo 'Sure it sounds fancy to have a name like Thunderroar in an anime, but can you imagine putting that on a resume? You'd be laughed out of the room.'

'I guess.' said Kon 'So what happens now?'

'You can do whatever you want.' said Ichigo 'You aren't my slave. If you want to stick around here fine. I could use your help taking care of my body while I'm fighting monsters. But I'm not forcing anything on you.'

'Fine. I'll stick around. But I'd better get some respect.' said Kon.

'If you want respect you have to earn it.' said Ichigo 'And let me tell you this. If you pull another stunt like that and Tatsuki ends up in prison because of you, I will pull that pill out of your body and crush it. We clear?'

'Yes.' said Kon in a small voice.

'Good.' said Ichigo 'I'm glad we had this talk. Woman are not sex objects. They should be treated with respect.'

Ichido Yujin awoke later that night. It wasn't just waking up in the sense of surfacing from her base personality. She was used to that. She was also physically waking up at the same time. Usually Ulquiorra got her after she'd already woken up physically at least.

Her room. She hadn't seen it like this in a while.

'You are awake.' said Ulquiorra, in the shadows.

'Thanks captain obvious.' said Ichido.

'That is not my name,' said Ulquiorra.

'Well that was a disaster.' said Ichido 'I figured you were about to go into the police station and massacre everyone.'

'I was.' admitted Ulquiorra 'I then would have destroyed the records. Tatsuki Arisawa is a valuable piece in this game. If she were removed from the game it would incovenience us greatly.'

'I guess.' said Ichido 'So how are we going to motivate Ichigo to get stronger?'

'I leave that in your hands.' said Ulquiorra.

'What?' said Ichido 'Seriously?!'

'Yes.' said Ulquiorra 'Take whatever action you deem necessary to ensure Ichigo Kurosaki accepts Kisuke Urahara's offer of training.'

'Awesome!' said Ichido 'I was getting sick of hanging out in the Menos Forest anyway.'

'You have a week.' said Ulquiorra, walking to the window.

'Hang on a week?' asked Ichido 'Ichigo is stubborn as a mule. How the hell am I supposed to get him to change his mind in that time?'

'Consider it part of your training.' said Ulquiorra 'Now it is time we began the other part of your training.'

'Right,' said Ichido 'back to the Menos Forest.'

This was going to be a long hunt.

Authors Note:

Okay we've got a prompt update for once. I know, the end is nigh right? Oddly enough there doesn't seem to have been as much interest in this story since the focus shifted from Byakuya to Ichigo. Don't worry though, Byakuya will return to focus eventually.

Also once again, Ichigo is a complete jerk in canon. Yeah Kon isn't exactly the nicest guy around post character derailment, but Ichigo treats him like absolute dirt from day 1. To the point where I honestly think Kon would have been better off being taken by Urahara. Urahara probably would have just given him a job at the Urahara shop. Which would have resulted in him being treated with a semblance of basic decency.