Twisted into Lacey knots ch.14
Dark Lace Part 4
Shoutout to Cinders and brimstone for her spot on guess about Lacey's disorder. I couldn't give it away until I posted this chapter. Also shoutouts to my reviewers. You are the most important piece to my writing puzzle because though I know where I want the story to go your opinions help shape the tone I use to get there please keep it up and Enjoy...
Lacey sat up in her bed and Danny laid his head down in her lap. He looked up at her questioning but silent waiting for her to speak.
She began by stroking his head. Her eyes looking away from him, becoming haunted and distant.
A few days after I yelled at you my parents found out about us". That night I was in a really bad place. It hurt me so badly saying what I said to you even though I knew I had to in order for our plan to get Archie to tell the truth to work ". "I was thinking about how I didn't stand up for Jo when we were little.. or for you when you came back and the expression on your face that night at Johnnycakes kept haunting me. but then all hell broke loose, and I couldn't take anymore"...
"What" Lacey said out loud looking at her phone notifications. When she clicked on it, it brought her to the video of her and Danny.
A classmate had tagged her in the video and shared it with most of the Senior class.
Oh my God, she thought as she watched herself removing her bra. In the comments section she read posts from random and not so random people saying that she was a slut, a hoe and a jumpoff and making lewd remarks about her body.
While she tried flagging and reporting the video the front door slammed shut and Clara ran upstairs and walked by her room quickly without peeking in to say hello".
Nervously she glanced up as Clara walked by again with the house phone in her hand headed to her mothers room but Lacey was too busy reading the comments and being genuinely mortified at the sheer number of people, many of whom she'd never even interacted with who suddenly hated her. Later on she would regret that she didn't stop what she was doing.
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT SAMUEL? Lacey heard her mother scream a about 10 minutes later into the phone "MAYBE IF YOU WERE AS CONCERNED ABOUT YOU'RE FUCKING CHILDREN AS YOU ARE ABOUT FUCKING NONE OF THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED?
As Lacey sprinted into the room she saw Clara standing in the corner crying. When Lacey went to comfort her Clara turned away from her and ran to the other side of the room glaring at her.
"Mom, what's going on". Lacey asked getting a sinking feeling in her stomach. Why are you and Dad arguing"?
Her mother took a deep steadying breath and looked at her."Were Arguing Lacey Danielle Porter" she said sternly before advancing towards her "because a Certain Young Lady Was Caught On Camera having Sex With Danny Desai".
Lacey felt the floor drop from under her and she couldn't control the panic that was beginning to set in. "Listen Mom .. I was going to tell you..I
Lacey could hear her the bass of her father's voice as his Anger rattled the phone in her mother's hand.
Irritated Her mother held up her index finger at Lacey letting her know to wait before she continued yelling at her father.
"SPARE ME THE FUCKING SOB STORY ABOUT YOU AND WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH THAT'S KEEPING YOU FROM BEING A FATHER OKAY SAMUEL". "Here's A Newsflash" she hissed "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK".**
Her father was screaming something and Lacey heard him say her and Clara's name in the background."I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU OR MITCH OR WHAT HE FUCKING THINKS ABOUT ME AND WHAT I NEED TO DO WITH MY FUCKING KIDS".
"YEAH YOU GET A LAWYER BITCH AND I'll SEE YOURE CHEATING ASS IN COURT". She screamed out. She slammed the phone down enraged and threw it loudly against the wall.
"WHY LACEY"? she snapped at her
"Why would you do this"? And when the hell were you going to tell me? "When I found out from Tess or Karen, or some other nosy busybody in this Suburban Swamp because Clara found out from her friends so God knows who else knows about this". "You could've saved us all a whole lot of embarrassment by coming clean earlier". "Now look what's happened". "Because you didn't I was blindsided and your father is threatening to take you and Clara away to Seattle".
"I'm sorry" Lacey whispered heartbroken by both the idea that being with Danny had caused so many problems and the idea of never being with him again.
Well It's Too Late for That". "I Need To Talk To My Lawyer But This Conversation Isn't Over". We WILL talk later" her mother said rubbing her temples as she walked out of the room.
Lacey turned towards her baby sister, "Poo I'm so sorry" she choked out tears running down her face.
"STOP"?!DON'T call me that". Clara said from the other side of the mattress. Her hand was up in the air and she was looking away from Lacey with so much contempt and disgust that Lacey's heart shattered into a million fine pieces.
"THAT name is reserved for my sister who had self respect and and Class"."That stalker is why you left Archie" she sobbed "to be with... HIM"?.
"He's so creepy" she said shuddering "You know I caught him sitting outside your window watching you sleep last week. "How sick is that"! "He killed his Aunt and Your best friend and you don't think you're next". "I'm So Stupid". "I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I EVER WANTED TO BE LIKE YOU" she blurted out and ran from the room.
Lacey grew antsy she ran her hands up and down along her arms but she was unable to stop the feeling that everything was closing in on her. She grabbed her keys to leave knowing she would catch Hell later but she had to breathe.
When she reached her car she saw Whore written on her door with opened condoms littered all over the hood. She screamed out in frustration placing her head in her hands so noone could hear her.
Sweeping the debris onto the ground she got in the car and drove to Danny's house because he was the only person that she had left.
As she walked up she spotted him through the bay window sitting next to his mom on the sofa. His hair was tousled down around his shoulders and he looked relaxed and happy. She looked on as he laughed appearing like the normal 16 year old boy she had always imagined he would be. He stopped for a moment gazing around sensing Lacey but she quickly hid herself, and suddenly it became clear what she needed to do.
He'll be alright, she told herself. He'll be better off. They all would. Poo would be with Dad, and Mom would finally have the perfect child and freedom. And Jo... she would forgive Lacey and eventually Danny, and she would take care of him and finally he would be safe.
That night she laid in her bed swallowing her sleeping pills one by one imagining they were candy...
I tried to kill myself and I almost succeeded but even as I was trying to let go you wouldn't let me". She stated taking a lock of his dark hair and wrapping it around her finger ." I FELT you trying to reach me that night, and somehow you brought me back.
When i woke up I was transferred to an upscale private mental facility in Manhattan. At first I kept willing myself to die. There wasn't anything left to live for. I eventually dealt the best way I could by making friends...
"Mrs. Porter I've had several reports from the staff nurses that you are refusing to eat and take your medications.
It had been 3 days since Lacey had arrived and as she laid in her suite she couldn't help noticing the overnight psychiatrist Dr. Kurtz looking her over.
"I'm not hungry" she replied turning her back to him.
"Regardless Mrs. Porter we have a responsibility to make sure that you're nursed back to optimal health" He said reaching down and massaging her shoulders.
Still facing the window Lacey scooted to the other side of the bed away from his touch.
"Now if you do not eat" he said suddenly less agreeable. "we will have to feed you intravenously and I for one would hate to Force".. He said seemingly relishing the thought "a beautiful young woman like yourself to do that but the choice is yours.
At the suggestive hints in his voice Lacey and Lace began an internal dialogue. Lacey just wanted to be left alone and so did Lace they just kept disagreeing on the best way to go about it.
When Dr. Kurtz alerted her saying "Mrs. Porter it's almost time to take your medication. What would you like to do"? they decided that she could control the situation or she could let it control her.
"Dr. Kurtz" Lacey turned around close enough to see the Doctor. She watched him eyeing her as he sat down eagerly near the edge of her bed. "Maybe we can come to an agreement" she heard Lace say before she slipped away into her safe place...
"I even made some allies...".
"Hey Lacey or is it Lace today" Dante the back door guard joked sweetly trying to see by their code whether she wanted something or she wanted to leave for the night. "Its Lacey " she said chuckling "but who knows the night is young.
" Well Lacey you always have a sweet tooth so what kind of candy do you want"? he asked. Lacey wanted to fantasize about Danny tonight uninterrupted and she wanted to do it without the confusion she usually felt after taking her antidepressants. "How about Gummi bears" she said smiling referring to her code for ecstasy. Andre smiled back and she hugged him tight shoving her meds in his pocket. He gave her a wink and walked out the back to head to"the store"...
"Thats all I really remember but It seems like ever since I saw you yesterday I woke up again after all this time...
Lacey, Lacey wait up" a familiar voice called behind her."Danny" Lacey thought as she turned around feeling her heart constrict.
It's good to see you" she offered finally as she perused his face slowly, taking in his soft lips slightly parted, his cheeks flush and his wavy dark hair struggling to free itself from its binding a tendril sweeping across his eyes as they stared at her questioningly. .
"She Bit her lips feeling a twinge of desire and softly returned a stray lock of hair back behind Danny's ear. Danny's charming heartbreaker smile greeted her tentatively in return.
"Umm.. Its good to see you too". "You look really good" he said, but it was Lacey who couldn't help noticing how handsome Danny looked. The long sleeved Letterman Jacket he wore over his green and white soccer Uniform made him look confident and.. more sexy if it was possible. He wore knee high socks that framed his lean muscular legs and every so often to Lacey's glee, her eyes would catch a glimpse of his hand as he pulled at his soccer shorts quickly adjusting the slight bulge in his pants.
His dark eyes were large and tender as they looked into hers and Lacey felt herself becoming lost in his gaze then he touched her and everything changed. She could see how easily he could still manipulate her when the seconds with his hand gently touching hers began to feel like hours.
She allowed Lace to take over and protect her because she was still too weak to protect herself .
"And now I'm afraid Danny she said because if I lose you again this time"."It really will kill me".
"Lace you won't lose me" he said burrowing into her hand "I'm here".
"You don't understand" she said sorrow marring her features. She paused taking a deep breath to explain this thing about her that she always knew to be true.
"You said you see me as this amazing, confident, world changing person but I'm not".
"I'm weak and afraid of disappointment and full of self doubt"."The truth is the girl that you knew, when we were little wasn't even me half of the time".
"Do you remember back then when I would take charge."I was the no nonsense, protector, the fixer" she continued her words becoming more pronounced.
"That was never me" Lacey admitted sadly "That was Lace". Danny looked up at Lacey furrowing his brow in confusion trying to dissect what she said. He kept quiet though sensing that Lacey would lose the nerve to finish what she needed to say if he interrupted her.
The anxiety began rising in her under his piercing gaze and she dreaded the pity and loathing he would feel towards her once he knew how imperfect she truly was. She was so afraid that their perfect moment of peace would end once she told him, that her body began to tremble.
Lace became distressed but Lacey continued embracing the dread and the fear by telling her that she had to do this.
Her muscles began clenching in her throat making her forthcoming words difficult to say
"Danny I'm not complex or mysterious or a puzzle". "I'm just terribly flawed and damaged and I always have been".
"I have a form of something my doctors call Dissociative Personality Disorder". "Its when a person has different personas or identities that alternate controlling their behavior".
"Lace is my other identity she's the one you need. She's the one you were in love with and the thought of you not loving me.. the real me would kill me". "This time I would truly die" she said placing his hand over her heart.
He lifted his head off her lap looking into her intensely. Lace felt the tears welling up in her eyes and she closed them waiting, knowing that his rejection of her would be kind. He would stay with her until she assured him that she would be fine before walking away and out of her life for good...