AN: If you thought the last chapter was bad, this is where shit hits the fan! Shout out to the homie JordanPhoenix for giving a brilliant idea for Jake's scheme in this one! This one closes the theme park adventures...leading into Miles' revenge plot against Lyn hehe. Tiny lime towards the end in case you wanna scroll past it, starts inside the car!
Till then, I'll catch y'all on the flip side. Working on FT as we speak so hopefully I'll be able to crank out the next chapter of that soon! Hope you guys enjoy!
DJJ680: Yeah, don't screw with them. Not in your best interests.
JordanPhoenix: Lol, it's probably not permanent. Probably. Well, I told you it was foul xD. And I thought how to make things even worse and boob juice was the answer ahaha. Definitely, she's the town bicycle lol. She admits it herself in canon which makes it even better to me haha. Who knew they could be so savage? Damn, they should have given her an atomic wedgie, considering they threw her into the outhouse...
Ohohoho. Cactus butt will have too much fun lol in this one xD.
Jack54311: Well, you're gonna see, friend. That's...a part of it. But not the whole kitten kaboodle. Hehe, yeah it might not be pretty. Ayup, spite spite. Because regular milk's a bit boring...in my head it was a bit symbolic since I feel she's probably taken some poor women's boyfriends on plenty of occasions. I'm also crazy.
Wincing, Jake pressed his cowboy hat down. "It's a done deal. Meet me there at the photo booth in...about 20 minutes once I get all these prickly points out."
That said, the cowboy limped out of the cactus greenhouse and vanished from sight.
"So, we're going to this photo booth now?" Lyn asked him. She already knew the answer, of course. Miles couldn't resist competition. He was serious to begin with, but when it came to a challenge, something about them lit a fire inside. He had to win at all costs. If there was anything childish about him, it would be that.
Miles would show Jake Marshall that he wasn't any coward and reign supreme over him in a day of terrors he had helped to create.
"Oh well, at least we can take pictures," Lyn sighed.
If she had asked him to take pictures with her, he probably would have flat out said no. But of course, when something this ridiculous popped up, he would agree. Typical.
Together they ventured towards the end of the park, in the direction of the petting zoo, a bit further down. The little shack of a building read Wild West Photoshoot out front, so they had found the right spot. Inside, it only had 2 other amusement park goers with a photographer taking pictures of the pair in western attire. Before you could get to the photo station set up, there was a front desk they needed to approach first.
"Y'all here for shoot?" the person at the desk asked as they chewed some tobacco and spat in a can.
"Yes."
Reaching into a drawer, the ruddy faced man pulled out a stapled pack of papers and a pen.
"Here buddy, read through the terms and agreements first, then sign off on it. Give back to me when you're done. Then you can go get what's left in the costumes in the back, through the side door on the right if ya walk down. After that pair is sorted, you can take your pictures next."
Miles nodded as he took the papers and started reading through them. For a packet of 6 pages, there was a lot of material to read. And to be frank, he didn't feel like reading more than he had to, especially with the text being so small. So after skimming the pages for a couple of minutes he signed his name and had Lyn sign hers. He passed it back to man with the browning teeth in the front desk.
"Thanks. Well, congratulations. Not many people go through it."
"How hard can this be?"
The man laughed. "A cocky one, eh. Well, it's not for the faint of heart, I suppose. But if you have the guts to make it work...I'm sure it'll turn out great."
Miles didn't particularly care for taking photos but even he didn't think it'd be that challenging. Just what was so scary about these photos? Were they cursed or something?
"Let's go check out the costumes!" Lyn said dragging Miles along by the arm towards the door on the right side, not too far off from the front desk. Inside, it was akin to a closet storage area, but with a giant mirror in the center of the room as well as racks of clothes to choose from.
Lyn locked the door and gravitated towards what was assumed to be the rack of women's clothes, with all sorts of dresses down from cute, elegant, and even sexy. Not being a huge fan of dresses in general, she opted to keep it simple by picking a red and black poofy dress with ribbons and glove set.
Miles was rather unlucky when it came to selection. Not like he was particularly thrilled about dressing up, but the men's clothing was quite plain...the shirts were mostly dark colors and designed to make one look like a pirate, in his opinion. On top of that...it appeared that normal pants were out of the question.
"What's taking you so long?" she asked as she started to strip down and climb into the dress.
Miles flushed as he looked at his abysmal options. "There aren't any normal pants."
"Huh? You're not serious, I see pants right there," she said cocking her back to look at the rack.
The man sighed. This must have been it. This must have been the challenge Marshall meant… Shaking his head, he lifted the 'pants' up and showed them to Lyn.
"Would you call these normal?" In his hands, he held up a pair of pleather assless chaps.
The girl gaped, but then she started howling in laughter. "...Omg. You have to wear it! Put it on!"
"Absolutely not! I'm not exposing myself like that!" he protested as his blush deepened. He had far too much dignity for something so disgraceful to be donned on his person!
Lyn was still cracked up, but not so much that she couldn't egg him on. "But aren't you gonna lose if you don't put it on and take a picture?"
Miles gritted his teeth. He had to prove Marshall wrong. But on the flip side, to do so was to make himself look idiotic… Sadly, his desire to win and prove himself was taking over his sensibilities.
Grumbling, he threw off his clothes, while Lyn giggled the whole time.
"Would you mind?"
"Mind what?" she asked trying to sound innocent as she snickered.
"Stop looking at me," he demanded. She always took delight in his plights and by God it drove him nuts!
"But, I'm going to have to look at you regardless for the photo-"
"Just turn around!" he snapped.
She chuckled as she did what was demanded. "Jeez. So sensitive."
The prosecutor groaned. He was almost done, minus the awful pleather eye sore he was slipping on. Why did people wear this to begin with? If he wanted to show his ass, he would have just went naked. If he didn't want to do so, he'd keep his pants. There shouldn't be an in between.
Yet, here he was, showing his bare butt cheeks for the world to see in a cheaply made get up best suited for strippers at a Chip & Dale… what was worse was how his junk was also on display, as though it were wrapped up by a dominatrix. . . It really was a punishment.
Lyn turned around to take a peek. "Pfftt!"
Miles scowled turning a shade of red so dark it would put blood to shame. "I told you not to look!"
But his whine went ignored, the woman just laughed until she couldn't breathe. Miles was so uptight, he would have never worn anything so ridiculous without such a challenge. Perhaps, she'd need to egg others on to provoke Miles more often in the future.
Embarrassed, the prosecutor lowered his head in shame and scurried out of the room and into the hall. He couldn't wait to get this over with so he could just go home.
The other couple taking pictures had already left the spot for pictures, so Miles took place in front of the camera waiting impatiently for Lyn. He noticed the back drop had been changed to resemble a wedding scene, with a white gate and aisle with pews.
Jake Marshall walked down with a smirk, looking at the mess that Edgeworth was. "Well pardner, color me surprised that you went through with it...and that outfit."
"Hn...Of course I would," he managed to force out barely.
Soon, Lyn emerged from the hallway past the previous couple returning their costumes in the dressing room, to where the funnily dressed men were standing. A stripper and cowboy cop in the same location was a sight to see.
"Ah, so I see the bambina didn't get cold feet."
"Why would I? My dress is cute...unlike what Miles is wearing," she quipped.
"Heh. I agree with that a hundred percent, missy," he said adjusting his hat. "But now that everyone is here, let's get this show on the road."
Marshall pointed the camera man with a snap. The man behind the camera nodded and smiled, prepared to take the best shots.
Jake turned his attention to Miles. "Do you pardner, take this bambina to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
Miles rolled his eyes. He got the idea now. Humiliate him by getting dressed up in this stupid get up, ham it up, and take a picture to commemorate this awful experience. Jake Marshall was a clever son of a gun. "Sure."
He continued with a wry smile, turning to Lyn. "And do you bambina, take this pardner to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"Um, I guess so. This stick in the mud would be a mess without me!" she grinned.
Miles looked at her. "What planet are you on? You have that backwards. You're the mess here. I'm the one keeping it together."
"Well, you'd be as fun as waiting for paint to dry without me!" she protested.
The camera man had been shooting off many shots between their squabble excitedly.
Marshall took a swig of the mysterious liquid in his flask before moving out of the way of the barely interested couple. "Well, you may now kiss the bride hehe."
Miles inwardly groaned. He didn't like displays of affection in public, let alone wearing such a bloody horrible outfit...but a challenge was a test of his manhood and one he refused to back down from. And well, he didn't mind kissing Lyn obviously.
Inching closer to Lyn, bending down slightly, going in for a brief peck on the lips.
"I now pronounce you man and wife," Jake grinned. He called out to the people passing by, walking around outside. "Can we get a round of applause for the newly married couple?"
The people outside hollered and whooped like it was no one's business. Lyn and Miles flushed in response.
"Well, I guess you ain't so yellow bellied after all, pardner," Marshall smirked.
"That wasn't as bad as you painted it out to be," Miles remarked. "Embarrassing yes, but it's just for show-"
Marshall took out his knife, grooming himself. "Oh, that was a real ceremony, pardner. I'm also an ordained minister."
"...What?"
"Yeah, I mean, I had to pass the time somehow before I became a detective again," he laughed. The cowboy, reached into his coat and waved his certificate in the air. "Here's my evidence, if ya don't believe me."
Oh God.
Oh dear God.
"W-wait a second! We're actually married?!" Lyn yelled.
Marshall...this bastard! He had tricked him! It was one thing to shoot someone with a paint gun, but to trick them into marriage?! This godforsaken park was going to be the death of him! He didn't want to be married! He didn't even believe in the institution of marriage! And he got married in this hellhole park, in front of spectators with this outfit showing his ass! Why did he come ?!
"You!"
"Yes?" Amused, Marshall smirked as he put his possessions away. "I forgive you for earlier. This was priceless."
Miles was fuming too much to respond. The cowboy gave him a pat on the back before walking off into the sunset. "Enjoy the newlywed life, pardner. I hear it's a hoot."
For some time the two of them stood in stunned silence.
"This is all your fault!" Miles boomed, glaring at Lyn.
"What?! My fault?!" she asked incredulously. "You didn't read the fine print! I have told you over and over you needed to get your vision checked!"
"My vision is fine!"
"You sit at home and read all those legalese books in tiny print!" she snapped. "You're straining your eyes!"
"I told you, I can see perfectly fine!"
"You just have a grudge against glasses, don't you?"
"Oh, don't start this." She would incessantly go on about how glasses were the best fashion accessory in the world.
"You don't need to feel bad about wearing them! Glasses are sexy and add personality!"
"I DON'T NEED ANY CORRECTIVE LENSES!"
"Says the man who has gotten us married! I didn't see the documents, because Mr. prosecuting genius wanted to do it and then neglected to the damn thing he's normally paid to do on a regular basis!"
"Grr..."
Lyn ran her fingers through her hair. "Oh my God...this was so not my idea of a perfect wedding!"
"I never wanted to be married to begin with," he said rubbing his temple.
"Well, thanks for reading everything so thoroughly!" she remarked. "Always nagging me to make sure I read each and every detail, you hypocrite!"
"I want a divorce." This was entirely too much.
Lyn, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt in a surprising display of strength. "You listen to me! You're not turning me into an unwanted 25 year old divorcee! You're annulling this when we get back home!"
"As much as I would love to this instant, the courthouse isn't open until Monday."
"Ack! This is terrible!" she said shoving him back. "I can't believe I married you!"
"And what's that supposed to mean?" he asked repressing his urge to explode. "I'm quite sure I'm marriage material unlike some people."
"Oho, so you're saying I'm not marriage material?" Lyn questioned. He had some nerve. "Perhaps, you're right. I might be a bad match for someone like you, who is lacking any sense of excitement."
With that she stomped off, back towards the dressing room. Sourly, Miles followed behind, not because he wanted this conversation to go on, but mainly to get out of this stupid outfit away from the rest of the world. As she didn't hold the door open for him, he had to quickly grab hold of it before it slapped it right in the face. Gnashing his teeth together to prevent himself from cursing, he forced the heavy door open, slamming it shut behind him.
Lyn was already removing the costume, unlacing the back of the dress.
"Your form of excitement," Miles continued on, "is rarely the type of excitement any sane person would hope for."
"While your excitement involves reading law books getting a hard on for legislation in your office, right?"
"That's hardly fair and you know it-"
"What's hardly fair is that you're trying to blame this all on me," she said, folding her arms momentarily stopping the removal process of the dress. "Yes, I agreed to come because you know, I thought maybe something nice could happen! And that maybe, it would be fun to do something together!"
"You call this fun, woman?!" he huffed. "Being up on Saturday, forced to listen to atrocious singing, in a filthy car, to eat garbage too foul my body to handle that I had to release it in an outhouse, to be arrested, and then forced to pretend to be with some harpy, is not my idea of fun!"
"Oh come on, it wasn't all bad! At least, you got to blast Oldbag! You can't tell me that wasn't fun," she sighed.
"Maybe the only 'fun' thing."
Lyn ran a hand through her hair. "Man, you're so uptight if I shoved a piece of coal in your butt cheeks we have a diamond in a fortnight, I swear... "
He rolled his eyes. "Yes, and you're about as loose as explosive diarrhea."
"Ugh, fine. You're right. It sucked! It was a terrible day!" admitted Lyn. "But you're the dimwit who got us married, not me!"
If there was anything that sucked the most for Miles Edgeworth, it was making a serious error. Of course, she was right; she did not look over the papers nor was egged on by Jake Marshall to come to this 'photo booth'...so, he was forced to look at his own stupid mistake. But as he'd been griping about the whole day...none of this would have happened if Lyn had the gall to turn Gumshoe's invitation down.
They undressed in silence.
Lyn knew it was a shitty day for him, but he was not blaming her for the unwanted marriage! Not like she was staying in this world anyway, and doubted they'd ever do anything of the sort, but this was utterly disappointing in more ways than one. She always imagined her wedding day to be, well, beautiful or at the very least...normal!
This was one of the most stupid absurd things that could have possibly happened... being a mrs. Would that make her Mrs. Edgeworth? ...No. That in itself was just weird. As much as she wanted to get back at Jake for this, she feared he'd simply one up them again and curse them with an even worse surprise. Hanging up the dress now fully clothed, she figured it was best to just suffer for two days as wife to Mr. Bossy and fix this immediately Monday morning.
Putting her feelings into a sigh, she left the room without so much as a glance at her now husband. She went down the hall and was about to walk by the front desk until she was stopped by the photographer.
"Hey Miss. Don't forget your pictures!" he said as he passed her the developed physical copies of the photographs.
"Thanks," she muttered, wondering if she should burn these. But on a quick cursory glance, Lyn quickly changed her mind. Miles looked like such a fucking idiot that she needed to keep them. It maybe was the only good thing about Marshall's trick. Lyn shoved the pictures into her pocket. If Miles saw them he'd demand she throw them away.
How annoying, the demon prosecutor thought to himself. His now wife should be grateful that her day was superior to his. She had so little to be upset about he was rather offended. Yes, he had made the mistake of getting them married, but the other things? She had no right to complain!
From the distance, he saw the man behind the camera passing Lyn pictures. Oh no. She couldn't keep those. Those could be blackmail material for her. He thought of the various ways she could attempt to make him do her bidding. Or just how she could potentially embarrass him...
No, those pictures, must be destroyed.
As fast as he could, Miles barreled towards her like a truck. Lyn noticed him at the last second, and barely, just barely turned on her heels fast enough to make a daring escape.
"Give me those pictures!"
"No! They're mine!"
She ran as fast as her legs would carry her, but they could only take her so far. Lyn only managed to get as far as the outside of the saloon before Miles grabbed her by the arm. Curse his long legs!
"Heh...hand them over!" Miles demanded.
Lyn tried to wriggle free of his hold, shaking her head furiously. The prosecutor pulled her close, and dug into the pocket in which the pictures were sticking upright. She wrapped her hand around his wrist, but she didn't have nearly enough strength to wrestle the images back. Snatched from her, Miles threw the pictures into the nearest trashcan as far down as he could.
"No one will ever see these. Ever again," he said with relief.
Lyn was fuming. If she had the strength to fight him seriously, she probably would have. "You...you suck!"
"I can't trust you with those pictures. Who knows what you'd do with them."
"I wanted them for myself, you big jerk!" Lyn said, looking into the deep dark depths of the trashcan full of rancid food. There was no way she could salvage them.
Miles folded his arms. There was just no way, she'd simply do nothing with those photos. It was Lyn he was talking about. "Like I'd believe that…"
"Ughh! You think you know everything, don't you? I wanted it since, you know, you rarely take nice pictures."
He blinked. Just what world was she living in? Those were the most humiliating photos he had ever taken to date! "How in God's name are those nice pictures!?"
"But now that you've said that, it's certainly not going to stop me from telling people about it!"
"You wouldn't dare…"
"Why not? You've already painted me as untrustworthy! I'll just ring everyone I know and say: 'Miles Edgeworth secretly LOVES wearing assless chaps!'" she laughed with the rife with sarcasm. "Oh, but it's fine, no one would believe it anyway since you're so anal a 10 foot pole would have nothing on you!"
"Oh, hardy har har! Marriage is one thing, but being married to someone off their rocker is another!"
"Huh? Me crazy? You only think it's crazy cause you. Are. So. BORING!" she said hands cupped. "I mean overly serious people like you will go crazy eventually by being so serious! I'm trying to help!"
"Well, it's not working! You have already driven me crazy!" His world of order, logic, and serenity had been completely disrupted because of her. "It's always some mess you pull me into and I have no way to be prepared!"
"Yeah, it's called adventure! Life doesn't come with a roadmap all neatly prepared! And you try to control everything like...like...you're the fun police!" she said folding her arms. "Oh, someone's having fun and trying to invite me? You're under arrest!"
His patience was wearing thin. Of course, he knew that life wasn't predictable. It would be madness to attempt to control every little thing. But he would prefer to have an idea of what was happening, a plan, an outline, whatever you called it...just for a sense of security. Without that, he felt adrift at sea, wandering aimlessly pulled by tides in all sorts of different directions. Sometimes, you couldn't just 'wing it'. Some situations required thought and planning...consistency! With her, he wouldn't know what chaos would erupt nearby. He was fine with adventure, but in small digestible portions. NOTHING like whatever the hell they were facing now. It grated on him how she expected him to be fine with such insanity when it was clear he needed a little less excitement, and a little more calm.
"Lyn, you are nothing but a child...No, rather a spoiled rotten brat! Perhaps you haven't woken up the reality yet, but your actions are a constant aggravation to my life! Maybe if you grew up, you would be able to see the ramifications of your decisions on others!"
Everything she did was an aggravation to him? She could admit that she would purposely do things to annoy him sometimes, but it was never out of spite, just to get him to crack a smile instead of such a serious veneer. To her, life should be fun and not so serious. There would be plenty of tragic or sad life events that would happen, so wouldn't it make sense to smile when you had the chance? She remembered the seriousness, the depressive phase she held once and just didn't want to go back there again. So, why shouldn't life be fun and exciting? ...But she supposed if he couldn't understand that about her, she'd let it be.
They didn't speak for some time, the air hanging heavy between them. Perhaps, it was for the best that this happened, Lyn mused. Maybe they weren't all that good together to begin with. Perhaps, it was just a fluke. Maybe they were just too different.
"Ah, I see," she said quietly. "Well, if that's the case, I'll be grabbing my things tonight."
"...What? Don't be ridiculous."
"How is it ridiculous? If I really bother you that much, I should leave right?"
"You idiot. You're going to be the death of me, I swear," he sighed. "No, you're not going anywhere."
"Says you," she sneered as she turned away from him, walking all the way towards the entrance and into the parking lot.
"Tch! Lyn!" Miles followed after her refusing to give up so easily. They had their squabbles, but today was probably their worst.
He caught up to her once she had made it back to Gumshoe's car.
"Would you listen for a moment?"
"What else is there to listen to?" she snapped.
Frustrated he did his best to calm himself. "You know, if you actually let me finish, it could surprise you."
"Huh. Must be hard for someone like you who's soooo boring to be one bit surprising," she taunted.
Now, it was just intentional provocations. He took a breath in an attempt to calm himself.
"Aw, what's wrong? What happened to that surprise?" she prodded continuing to push, in an attempt to push him away. "Guess you're stuffy and uptight after all."
"Lyn you-"
"Boring, boring, boring! You can't even come up with an interesting comeback, you dullard!"
Miles couldn't bare it anymore. He pressed her against the side of the car. She was taken off guard, by the suddenness and remained frozen, even without him pinning her in place.
"That is enough," he said in a tone of finality. "You will listen. Now."
It was a bad habit, but she loved to provoke and it was even worse when she was upset. But for once she wondered it was bad thing. She knew she could be an ass, and she always enjoyed seeing who would let her walk all over them or who would put her in her place. Right now, it was pretty clear which one Miles was. She could see the wild look in his steely eyes. And despite being angry with him, she felt that surge of electricity flowing between them.
"No," she rebelled, unable to help the overwhelming urge to press buttons in this moment. Her anger, fueled by her own of amusement of Miles' anger and frustration egged her on. "Make me."
"Make you...?" he nearly growled. The demon prosecutor was aware that this was a game now. Those two words were a recipe for a war. He was surely going to put this brat in her place, this bloody instant.
If she refused to handle it maturely, so be it. He yanked her ponytail back so much, it forced her to look upward. "Do I have your attention now?"
"N-no..." she boldly lied. Lyn's heart was pounding out of control. She wouldn't let him win easily despite being cornered. He had to earn his domination. "I'm...not interested in hearing a thing you say."
"Oh, I see. It's not enough for you? It's boring, hm?" he asked lowly, as he spoke into the woman's ear. Liar. She was fully captivated right now by him. Her brown eyes were trying desperately to look away from him, but they returned to look into his eyes. It was driving him crazier to say she wasn't listening. It might have been selfish, be he wanted all of her attention and if he was refused that...it aggravated him how well she knew how to play him. She was always driving him up a wall. But ultimately she was playing with fire. If she was going to push him, he would push back twice as hard. "Then let me make it fun for you."
He bit her with the ferocity of a shark, starting from the collarbone, up to under her chin. Anytime she tried to lower her head, he refused to allow it and yanked her right back into place. "Miles..."
The prosecutor released the grip on her ponytail. "Having fun yet?"
She glared at him, unused to that amount of roughness. Though it did sorta turn her on.
"You're such a jerk," she said as she pushed forward against him to bite and tug on his lips with the same coarseness, wrapping her arms around his neck. It amused him greatly, considering she was not nearly as good at is as he was. Not too long after, she forced her tongue into his mouth, but there was only so much leverage she could keep over him, as the demon prosecutor turned the tables by forcing her back against the car door tightly grabbing hold of her waist. He wouldn't let her pull away until he was satisfied with the kiss. When he leaned back, they were both panting for air.
"...And you're a brat."
"Fuck you," Lyn breathed out.
"You certainly wish," the man said pressing his fingertips deeply into her hips in deliberation.
She moaned unused to this amount of roughness. She hated how good it felt. "Gah...that's...that's no fair."
"You don't like being defeated at your own game, is that right?"
Pouting, her only response was grab hold him of by his back and dig her nails in deep. "I...I might be interested in listening."
He liked the sensation of her sharp nails against his skin, but he wasn't done with her quite yet. "Mm. And what changed your mind?"
"Ngh...just say whatever dumb thing you had to say," she said trying to avoid the obvious truth.
"You were so adamant about ignoring me before," he said in amusement. He pressed his lips right against her ear. "I'm not one to be ignored, Lyn. I require all of your attention. All of it."
The woman was put on edge now. The goosebumps were clearly forming on her arms, as she shivered at his words.
"Perhaps, I will give you the same treatment if your response isn't satisfactory," he said teasingly as though he were talking aloud to himself.
Shit. She was caving. She couldn't let that happen. "I...I want..." Damn him. She wanted to be too proud, too proud to beg, but how he had turned the tables on her in this situation was making her crave him.
"Want what? I don't have all day," Miles said flippantly.
How cruel. She couldn't say she hated it. It made her think of the past boring encounters where she had been put on pedestals by the biggest ass kissers she had ever seen...and she couldn't stand it. So dull and inspired. She could do no wrong for those types of men. So, Miles perhaps wasn't boring after all...she appreciated his cruelty, ice king like mentality in a time like this.
In what was a shameful display in her opinion, she caved. "I...want you to just...fuck me..."
Miles laughed, perhaps one of the very few laughs he had all day. He knew how much she hated to submit to him. It was always a loss, even if she did ultimately enjoy it deep down.
"Why should I?" he asked. "State your case. You've been quite unkind to me, pressing my buttons."
She started to sweat. "Ngh..."
"So, I want one. Good. Reason," he said huskily, yanking her hair once more.
Oh God. She couldn't lose it now. Not now... "There's something in it for you."
"Hm? And what's that?"
She dug her nails into him deeper, nearly whining. "Miles, you ass! You already know!"
Miles laughed once more enjoying the desperation stewing within her. "Your sharp tongue fails to convince me, dear wife. "
"Argh...just get in the damn car!" she demanded in frustration.
"The car? And what are you suggesting we do there?"
She looked at him eyes pleading to just end this charade and to get it over with. They both wanted it. She wasn't sure if at this point she wanted to punch him or kiss for how he was dragging this all out.
Like the demon he was, he smirked. "What makes you think we're having 'our honeymoon' in Gumshoe's disgusting car?"
"Darling husband, what is one more bad smell?" she argued.
If this were any normal circumstance, Miles would have instantly said no. But Gumshoe had ruined his day. He was tired. The parking lot appeared to be mostly vacant. And to have Lyn pleading with him to do her right then and there was enough to change his mind. He supposed he had had enough fun tormenting her...mostly.
Miles stripped the girl from his body and opened the closest backseat door. "Get in."
On command Lyn climbed inside, feeling the fire in only those two words. Shortly, he followed slamming the door shut behind him. She watched him, wondering what exactly he would do next.
"Come here," he commanded, without missing a beat. "On my lap."
Anxiously, she climbed over and did as she was told. "Are you ready to listen now?"
"Y-yes."
"I won't lie," he said squeezing her bosom, eliciting a moan from her. "You get on my nerves. And you're getting on my nerves now."
He continued feeling down the curves of her body, warming touch left upon her thighs. "It's dangerous for you to go back to your apartment, but the way you're acting is making me a bit dangerous..."
She swallowed. "Is that right...? What do you plan to do?"
"What makes you think I'll tell you?"
There it was, that haughtiness yet again. "Feh. You're still a jerk. But...I guess you're not that boring."
"Well, you are clearly a brat. But this situation isn't a pain." He couldn't say he would do anything this crazy with someone else. Rhoda was too docile to even think of a scenario like this, let alone provoke him. Lyn liked the power he had over her, but she wouldn't give in without a fight. For the women that would throw themselves at him, they lacked the same fighting spirit Lyn possessed. For better or for worse, her craziness certainly held his attention. And things were never too easy with her.
"So tell me, are you still intent on taking your things? Or will we work this out?"
"I want to work something out in the very least. I don't want to fight, well, at least not like how we were before..."
"Then I suggest we clear the air," the man said. "I will give you one free pass, to do what you please."
"Hm? A free pass? What do you mean?" she asked turning back to face him.
"I saw how you looked earlier, like you wanted to beat me to a pulp. I'll give you an opportunity to let it go."
"Haha, you can't be serious."
"Do I look like I'm joking? Or maybe you're just a weakling?"
"Hey...Don't make me prove it."
"By all means go ahead," he said somewhat interested in what she'd do.
"Well...you asked for it!" she said. With a quick hand, she smacked him across the face. Already, she could see the red mark left upon his cheek. "Ha. That did actually feel good..."
She certainly didn't hold back. The sting was present and as suspected she was pretty mad. He recalled the same intensity of when she smacked him after a case awhile ago.
"...so good that at least one more time will help some more," she smirked as she attacked once more.
It caught him off guard, but he wasn't dazed for too long so he could catch her hand before she struck again. She was giggling up a storm.
"I said one. You know, I'm going to get you for that," he threatened playfully.
"Whatchu gonna do about it? Huh?" she poked his side with her free hand. Eager to see what came next.
Miles shoved her off without warning. In her confusion, she didn't have enough time to react as she was forced down in a position that reminded her of the child's pose, with her arms stretched out before her, ass up.
She gasped being reduced to nothing, as she could feel him directly behind her.
"This is my answer, you little brat..." Without hesitation, he yanked her ponytail and slammed the palm of his hand into her ass with such a force that she cried out. He smirked to himself as he repeated the motion over and over with little pause and increasing the force of the spanks.
When he was finished, she could feel her bottom stinging as though it were on fire. Yet, she was experiencing a strange wash of pain and pleasure, that she couldn't entirely describe.
"How's that?" he asked masking her body with his as he leaned into her ear. "Being a brat, I found that to be an appropriate punishment."
His words sent a shiver down her spine. And with the light feeling of his breath tickling her ear, she felt her desire growing. "Stop it," she pleaded.
"Stop what, exactly?"
"Stop teasing me, you asshole..."
"I do what I want with you," he growled as he smacked her bottom again, causing her to whimper. "Especially considering how you were the one begging me to fuck you. Isn't that, right?"
"Hn..."
"Admit it," he demanded. "You're a dirty little slut."
She flushed, perhaps the hardest she has ever flushed her entire life. In any other situation that would be a terrible thing to hear, but now it was driving wild. She had known Miles had been holding back with her, but wasn't aware to what extent until now...
"I..."
"I won't give it to you until you admit the truth."
"I'm...a dirty little slut..." she flushed.
"Yes, you're my dirty little slut," he said rife with amusement. "And what do you want now?"
The more the humiliation grew exponentially did her wetness. "I want...your cock inside of me..."
If was music to his ears. Not only was she begging for it, she was submitting to his will. It was making him harder by the second. "Ha...meine schlampe. Once more, what do you want?"
She wanted to cry. How could only words be doing this to her?! "I...want your cock inside of me...so please! Please just do it! I can't stand it anymore..."
Smirking, he felt her up from her breasts down, until he reached the clasp to undo her shorts. Once that obstruction was removed, he looked on in amusement. Her white panties were utterly drenched. He slid them down and taunted her heat with his fingers. She squirmed as he plunged them in and out. "Come on...I don't want your fingers..."
Heh. Miles undid the fly to his jeans. He had barely done anything, barely touched and yet... "Meine schlampe, be quiet. I know what you want."
"Hurry up..."
"You're greedy," he said as he plunged inside without warning. She whimpered at the suddenness, feeling full.
"Miles..."
He draped himself over her a bit more. "Didn't I tell you to be quiet? Such a child...what will make you behave? ...Hm. Open your mouth."
Quietly, she obliged opening her mouth wide, to have his three fingers forced into her mouth.
"Now, suck."
Flushing, she did as she was commanded, noticing that his fingers were a peculiar mix of salty and sweet.
"Do you like that, my little slut?" he asked as he thrust harshly into her, causing her to release a muffled moan. "That's what you taste like this very instant."
Her skin was on fire. That...that was her...she had no idea that's what that tasted like...
Holding his hand on her stomach, he kept a rather fast tempo as he continued to move in her. It was a shame that there was so little time, for if there was more he would have tormented her far more thoroughly. But this was just as well. He wouldn't admit it to her, but doing this in someone else's car and in public was getting him off to a certain degree...though not as much her needy pleading, for to him it was just like winning a hard sought after prize.
With the intensity of speed ramping up, she was beginning to feel dizzy, the knot in her stomach large and present, just waiting to release. Yet, with the fingers in her mouth the most she could do was moan...so she opted to suck as hard as she could on his fingers.
The sensation gave him goosebumps. He was close...and seeing as how his little slut started wet to begin with he assumed she was on her way to satisfaction as well. His traveling hands teased her curves for a moment, before sinking below her stomach right to her clit. And being the mean demon he was, he was far from gentle...
"Mmphhh!" This guy...it was like he hit the right note on the piano! That hazy feeling was hovering over her, and with the pressure on her clit in edition to the deep thrusts, her body gave way, knot untangling so much that she bit down on his fingers.
Miles weakly laughed, noticing her shakiness and how she'd lowered her body slightly down. "You came, my little slut? Well, your going to again because I'm not finished..."
He pushed faster and faster until eventually he came, bringing Lyn with him once more. This time it felt as though she had been ejected from her own body and into outer space. Panting, he slowly pulled out of her, leaning back into the car seat. Trembling nonstop, Lyn just dropped face down into the backseat. Damn Miles...once was good, but twice made her feel like she'd been knocked out by Mike Tyson!
No one spoke for some time, basking in the devilishness of the act.
"Miles..." she breathed. "Why the hell are you so mean?"
"Hm? Shouldn't you be fulfilled now, whiny brat?" he smirked in reply.
Lyn crawled over to him and kissed his cheek and then his neck, or so he thought as he realized a bit too late that she was sucking the skin. He shoved her off of him, but she only laughed. "Too late muahaha. I think it looks good on you."
The demon prosecutor rubbed the now sensitive area over his neck in annoyance. How dare she give him a hickey...he was going to move to retaliate but she spoke again. "You made me really sore...so I hope it hurt a little."
"Ah, well you've failed in that case. A hickey is not even comparable to the damage I've given you."
She pouted. Stupid Miles always winning. But it would be rather boring for her to win, she wouldn't admit it outwardly but things like this were always tests of strength for her. A boring guy would let her think she's won. But Miles would just destroy her without mercy and she was into it.
"I...did we really do that?" Lyn asked fidgeting with her fingers.
He took a deep breath, suddenly realizing how worn out he really was. At least he was satisfied. "Indeed, it was no dream."
"Do you think they'll notice?" she asked.
"Probably. But I doubt Gumshoe would have the gall to ask us if we did anything," he yawned.
Miles had a point there. We were friends, but we did have a higher level of authority over him. In a way, this was sorta fucked up. But at this point, she didn't care. The deed was done.
"Tired?"
"It's been a long day," he mused. "Are you suggesting you aren't?"
She shook her head. "How could I not be after that?"
He gave a small smile in response. It was strange how this had even happened to begin with but he couldn't say he regretted this part.
"...I'm sorry about the wedding. I should have read more thoroughly," he started. "On top of that, I am also sorry for my harsh words earlier."
"It's...okay. We can fix it Monday," Lyn sighed. Then she gave a smile of partial amusement. "Though, it's not as mean as what you said a little while ago."
"The difference being, you liked it," he remarked smugly.
"Yeah, well...anyway..." There was a red tint spreading across her cheeks. A gentleman in the streets, but surprisingly foul under the sheets. Or in this case, in the parking lot of some poor sod's car. "I'm sorry too. You're not really boring...just interesting in your own way."
"So, are we quite done with this debacle now?"
"Ya. It's only cool to be mad for so long, right?" she chuckled. "But have to admit it turned into something fun."
"...I concede." He would not deny that, unless it's excruciatingly awful sex, sex was always fun.
Seeing that they were cool again, she hugged him. With a sigh, he returned it. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Lyn started laughing quietly to herself.
"I'm almost half afraid to ask, but what is so funny?"
"Isn't it just ironic how Gumshoe invited us on a double date that started to tear us apart rather than bring us together?"
Miles considered it. From dealing with Angel and Jake to the unplanned wedding... Gumshoe was the true enemy at the end of the day. He invited them to the park and from there it spiraled downhill fast. He wasn't at all sorry about the lingering smell this car would have for a week if not longer.
"Speaking of Gumshoe, what happened to them?" Miles asked. "After the saloon we didn't see him or Maggey at all."
"Huh. You're right. Maybe they're out having a ball?"
"Hmph. Lucky them if that's the case."
Well, they should be done by now, Lyn hoped. It was starting to get dark. She looked out the back window of the car. Speak of the devil. The two of them were making their way back to the car about maybe 15 feet away now. Gumshoe's figure was impossible to miss, so it was definitely them.
"They're coming now," she said in a hushed tone. Coming to her senses, weakly she pulled up her bottoms, feeling mildly uncomfortable due to the wetness. But it was only a small price to pay.
"Lovely. Just act normal, like we just got here," Miles rolled his eyes. It was foolish to think especially sitting in the man's vehicle, but he wished they hadn't returned. It would have been nice to enjoy a bit more serenity, but alas fate was against him. Quickly, he adjusted himself. Or...tried to.
"Fuck..."
"Huh? What's wrong?" It wasn't like Miles to curse at that level. But she soon saw the problem.
"Ah! Jesus! A-are you okay? That looks..." she covered her mouth. Ugh, it looked excruciating!
Of all things to happen, especially now! There couldn't be a worse or more painful sensation than a man's private parts caught on a zipper. And if there something more, he didn't want to know.
Lyn looked back out of the window- they were getting closer.
"H-hey, they're almost here! Do...you need help?"
"No!" he snapped, red in the face from the pain. "Don't touch it!"
She truly felt bad for him, but he knew best about his junk and how to handle it.
The side door opened as Maggey and Gumshoe were happily chatting away. Lyn quickly maneuvered to place her head in Miles' lap, to make sure nooooo one saw that painful display.
"Well, they weren't too bad," Maggey said climbing in, shutting the door.
"Yeah, guess so. Thought her cane was a little scary though..." Gumshoe replied, slamming the drivers side door shut. He turned to face the couple in the backseat. "Hey! How was your day? We missed you guys since we got stuck on the rollercoaster for half the day."
Maggey sighed. "I'm sure my bad luck had it in for us...But on the plus side we met a really nice couple up there!"
"Minus that weird fox kid they had talking about...OGs?"
"Oh, I see," Lyn smiled forcibly, doing her best not to move. The Kitakis liked Westerns? "Well, maybe you'll have better luck the next time you go. We had a great time! But uh, we got a bit tired so we headed back to your car to wait for you here."
Miles grimaced as he gave a slight nod, still attempting to perform the jaws of life on his downstairs problem.
"Well good! We oughta do this again sometime," Gumshoe beamed happily as he began to turn around.
"Mmph!"
"What was that, Mr. Edgeworth?"
"Don't mind him! He... would just prefer that next time, we'd pick a location," Lyn laughed awkwardly.
"Ahh, sure that sounds great," the detective said, turning his back to them.
Oh thank God. Now, all that was left was-
"Hey, do you guys smell something strange?" asked Maggey.
"...Yeah, you're right," Gumshoe said taking a whiff. "I really gotta clean her out soon."
"Obviously, I've been telling you to do it for a while, gummy. But this is a different smell entirely...sort of like se-"
"Yeah, well, you know the funny thing was, it smelled like that when we came in here a couple of minutes ago. Super weird, right Miles?" Lyn played it up as best she could.
She could still feel Miles trying to adjust himself. Jeez. She started to wish he would just let her help so they could have an uneventful ride back already...
The man winced as he forced out an answer. "In...deed..."
"Hmm..."
"Well, let's just get some air in here for now. I'll give it a deep clean later," Gumshoe said, hitting the buttons to roll down the windows.
Yeah, you'll need one, the girl thought to herself. With Maggey and Gumshoe finally, both looking forward, Lyn sat herself up. In a couple of seconds, the engine revved up, and the radio started blaring:
Once upon a time not so long ago...
Oh god, anything but this, Miles thought. He recognized this dumb Bon Jovi song off the bat, and he didn't need it now...
But as if Gumshoe hated him, the large man bobbed his head up and down and turned the volume up even higher than it was as Maggey clapped her hands excitedly. As he backed out of the parking lot and onto the highway, him and Maggey started "singing" if one could even call their guttural sounds that.
Tommy used to work on the docks, union's been on strike
He's down on his luck, it's tough, so tough
Gina works the diner all day working for her man
She brings home her pay, for love, for love
She says, we've got to hold on to what we've got
It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot for love
We'll give it a shot
Then the pair of them looked at each other at a red light and wailed:
Woah, we're half way there
Woah, livin' on a prayer
Take my hand, we'll make it I swear
Woah, livin' on a prayer
Taking a breath, Miles looked down once more at the horror. He had managed to almost remove it...but it seemed he needed one more good yank. He swallowed hard, imagining the painful sensation...but if he didn't he'd surely be noticed. And worse than noticed, still living in extreme discomfort. One hand holding his dear friend with the other holding on to the evil contraption called a zipper, he found himself frozen.
Tommy's got his six-string in hock
Now he's holding in what he used to make it talk
So tough, it's tough
Gina dreams of running away
When she cries in the night, Tommy whispers
Baby, it's okay, someday
"You have to do it!" Lyn whispered, as she watched the shaky hand hesitating.
"You don't think I know that?" he hissed back.
"If you don't do it, I will!"
"No!"
"Then hurry up and get it over with!"
We've got to hold on to what we've got
It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot for love
We'll give it a shot
He wouldn't admit it, but she was right. And he really didn't want her to touch this. She might break him. Wincing, he held his breath and took a plunge into tomorrow, giving the evil device a forceful tug.
"NGHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he yelled out. Lyn nervously looked down; at least that problem was solved. Painfully so, but solved.
Woah, we're half way there
Woah, livin' on a prayer
Gumshoe and Maggey started cheering. "Yeah, Mr. Edgeworth!"
"Didn't know you had vocals like that sir!"
Miles was red in the face, leaning back on the seat. He hadn't known he could yell like that either, though he wasn't sure what irritated him more: the fact that his privates were stuck there to begin with or the fact that they believed him to be partaking in their impromptu karaoke sessions, enjoying the song.
Take my hand, we'll make it I swear
Woah, livin' on a prayer
Livin' on a prayer
He wasn't at all religious, but sometimes Miles wondered if a god existed and if he just hated his very existence. How much pain could one man endure in a single day? He leaned his head against the window with his eyes shut, trying his best to drown out the singing. That awful noise! But at least his privates had been salvaged. If not painfully so. With any luck, he wouldn't be sore for too long. His only solace now was that Lyn, actually showed that she indeed had a heart and didn't take part in singing until his ears bled. If he were to pray, he'd only pray for the radio to break down, but he was certain that the gods weren't that kind.
Oh, we've got to hold on, ready or not
You live for the fight when it's all that you've got
Woah, we're half way there
Woah, livin' on a prayer
Take my hand, we'll make it I swear
Woah, livin' on a prayer
Lyn looked upon him with pity. She would have hugged him, but it was apparent that the demon prosecutor didn't want to be bothered with the world at the moment. She awkwardly gave him a pat on the shoulder, which was only met with a glare. So, she let him be and decided to be kind whenever they arrived home.
Woah, we're half way there
Woah, livin' on a prayer
Take my hand, we'll make it I swear
Woah, livin' on a prayer
Woah, we're half way there
Woah, livin' on a prayer
Take my hand, we'll make it I swear
Woah, livin' on a prayer
The idiots finished, hooping and hollering. "Bon Jovi is legend!"
"You're telling me! Still happy you took me to see him last year!"
"Aw shucks, it was nothing. It was a lot of fun!" laughed Gumshoe, slightly turning down the radio. Miles opened his eyes slightly at the lessening sound. Had his prayers been answered?
"No way, it was everything!" Maggey leaned forward as close as possible, until her shoulder was touching Gumshoe's and kissed him deeply.
Blargh, Miles wanted to gag at the sight. He was of course, happy that his friend had a lovely companion, but boy did PDA squick him out especially when it looked like she was eating Gumshoe's mouth whole made him want to bury himself alive. Lyn turned away from the display, grimacing. For her a quick peck was cool, but damn, they might use the car after them, with the way she was eyeing Gumshoe like a steak.
Miles and Lyn obviously had no right to complain and were well aware of the fact, having done deeds in this vehicle. However, they both felt uncomfortable watching their love fest before them. They exchanged eye contact with each other, having a silent conversation in the back.
'Gross.'
'Agreed.'
"Woah, Mags, slow down," he chuckled. "Save some for home!"
"Sorry, Gummy bear, just got carried away," she said happily running a hand over his as he rested it on the steering wheel. "Now you got me all excited!"
No! TMI! TMI! It was as though the two of them were in their own little world and forgotten about anyone in back. Miles was trying desperately to delete the imagined image of Maggey and Gumshoe getting freaky out of his mind like a computer. He began to wonder things he shouldn't wonder...Things such as does Gumshoe say Pal during the deed? Does Maggey have awful bad luck during their alone times? Could be as terrible as anything like his privates caught on a zipper? Or worse? Ugh, it might just become the next best thing to cure an erection next to Oldbag!
Lyn made a motion to slit her throat, while Miles tied an imaginary noose around his neck. There they vowed NEVER to do a double date with the two of the again. For now on, they were just always (in)conveniently tied up with work.
Another 30 minutes, too many sickeningly sweet displays to count and 5 more bar songs later, they finally, finally, made it to the outside of Miles' house. Lyn eagerly hopped out, saying her goodbyes to Maggey and Gumshoe, while Miles slowly and carefully climbed out muttering his thanks.
"Thanks for coming! Let's do this again another time!" Gumshoe said with a wave as he zoomed off.
With that, it was finally over. They watched as the rickety, now worse smelling car, left the property barreling down the street and away from them under the light of the moon. What a trip.
"We're free!" Lyn breathed, doing a small victory dance.
Miles only grunted in response as he dragged his feet to the porch, unlocking the door. Never could he have imagined this day to unfold the way it did. But now, he could finally, finally, just relax. The defeated man, shuffled to his couch and lied down without a word. He was free. Free from the park. Free from the noise. Free from Gumshoe! FREE!
It was the most undignified display Miles had ever shown, at least consciously in front of her, she thought amused to herself as she shut and locked the door behind her. Of course, she felt sorry for him, but it was rare that he ever seemed to be so tore down and exhausted, definitely not enough to curl up on the couch. It was kind of cute to see.
Smiling to herself, Lyn walked passed him into the kitchen to check on Pess, who had been excited to see humans again. She pet her for a while and then replenished her bowl with water and food. When she returned, Miles remained in the same position. Laughing quietly to herself, she walked over. "Do you mind if I sit with you?"
A muffled yes was the response.
"Aww...what would it take for you to let me?"
"You are only allowed to be near me, if you act as my pillow."
At first she blinked, but then chuckled. "Alright, boss."
Grumbling to himself, Miles sat himself up, waiting for Lyn to take a seat. She took a seat at the right end of the couch and not any sooner, did he lay his head in her lap.
It was certainly a first. He'd never put his head in her lap ever. She didn't think he was the type. But she guessed he hadn't been kidding about being over today. Poor guy.
"I'm sorry," Lyn said as she laid a hand on his head gently.
"No," he said. "You will be sorry later."
She repressed her urge to outright laugh. She knew full well she would be doomed tomorrow, but the fact that he was still trying to threaten her so exhausted was cracking her up on the inside.
"So is it too late to ask for forgiveness?"
"It passed the day you accepted that offer."
"You're savage."
"You're savage, woman," he muttered. "You had no mercy dragging me along for the ride."
"Alright, I get it I'm an evil person," she sighed, stroking his head.
"Yes," he said. "I hate you."
"Mhm."
"So much," he said as he sat up and pulled her legs up across the couch. He lied back down, wrapping his arms around her squeezing her as tight as a frightened child holding on to their doll for dear life. "That you are resigned to be my body pillow for the rest of the evening."
She couldn't move, and was effectively trapped, squished into the back of the couch. "Miles-"
He squeezed tighter in response. "Be quiet."
"But-"
"Pillows don't talk."
Lyn resigned with a sigh.
In Miles language he was saying: "I'm too tired to kill you now. So, for now shut up if you really insist on having to stay around me. Brat." Which would further translate to: "Tomorrow when I decimate you, things will be fine, but until then, I sorta hate you. You're lucky I'm allowing you to stay in my presence. It's a privilege. Also, I want a hug even though I am never going to admit to this outright, so shut up and hold me."
But after today, it was understandable that he wanted some peace and quiet. Though, for how long the peace and quiet would last, it would be anyone's guess. Knowing that a brutal fate awaited her tomorrow, she decided to enjoy this moment while it lasted, opting to wrap her arms around the grumpy prosecutor.