Deacon hated to admit it, but he was relieved when Nora left the room. His chest and ribs were hurting like a bitch, and he felt like he was trying to breathe under water. It was taking a lot of energy to mask all that, and he was pretty sure he wasn't succeeding but he was determined to keep it up for the time being anyway. Nora was worried, though. He could see it in her eyes every time she looked at him. Even if she was smiling, it was there. Fear. Fear of losing him.
That was something that was going to take some getting used to; having someone actually concerned about him. Most people, including other Railroad agents, only tolerated him. Hell, the only reason he'd been asked to join them was because of the extreme revenge he had taken on those who had murdered his wife. But Nora? She put up with his bullshit and didn't seem to take any of it seriously. She'd had many chances to ditch him or leave him to fend for himself on the runs she'd done with him. She could have let that raider kill him today. She could have just left him there since he was clearly slowing down their escape. Hell, she could have killed him herself and told Des whatever she wanted to. No one would ever know any different.
She did none of that, though. She stayed right with him, and he had no doubt that if Paladin Danse hadn't shown up, she would have thrown him over her shoulder in a fireman carry, probably either hurting herself or worse because she refused to leave him. The woman was just that stubborn. She reminded him of Barbara. His Barbara. Every time he thought he felt a spark of attraction for Nora, he forced it back. He couldn't go through that again. The physical pain he was in right now, he could deal with. But that? No. He couldn't risk that. Not for himself, not for her. It was too much.
"I'm sorry, Barbara."
"It wasn't your fault, Deacon."
Deacon blinked and looked around the room. No one was there. Great. He was getting delirious. That's ALL anyone needed right now was for him to lose his damned mind.
"Tell me you understand that."
"No one is there. Get hold of yourself, man." he told himself.
"Deacon, I will always be a part of you. I'm always in your heart. But you're still alive. I'm not. I need you to fight. It's not time for you to join me yet."
"Oh, God. Barbara."
There she was, standing in front of him. Perfect, whole, just like she had been. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head, but she was still there.
"I didn't know, Barbara. I didn't know. I should have protected you. I should have...should have..."
"You need to let them help you. It's not your time, Deacon. You still have a lot to do."
He buried his head in his hands. No, this had to stop. It had to stop.
"Deacon..."