AN: Jeez, I'm finally back! I've had a lot to deal with in my life, so sorry for the delay. With this one up, I'm nearly done with the next FT chapter so I'm slowly getting back on track. Hope you guys are amused by Miles' revenge plot in this one! Dumb? Probably. But Lyn deserved it lol. The punishment maybe is twisted in a way like the amusement park revenge, but in a different way.
JordanPhoenix: Yeah, this turned out to be interesting revenge scheme! As always, thanks for your writing expertise and brilliant ideas when it comes to the writing process! I never thought I'd get this one done haha. But the result, I'm good with lmao.
Jack54311: YUP. That type of maid outfit ;). I figured she deserved her comeuppance, so here it is lol!
DJJ680: Good! Hmmm, probably not long hehe.
Downstairs Miles was already present and waiting in the living room on the couch. As he eyed her up and down with an unknown intent, Lyn flushed under the scrutiny of his gaze. She had come to familiarize herself with the intensity of his looks, but it made her feel twice as vulnerable to be viewed in such a... dumb outfit. And what was worse is that she couldn't figure out what he was thinking- his ultimate plan for her today. After that wonderful wake up call, she knew for sure Miles shouldn't be snubbed for his ability to take the piss out of her.
"Yes," he mused to himself aloud. "This was the best look."
"Um...so are you just gonna stare at me all day?" she fidgeted.
Miles raised a brow. "Are you questioning me, servant?"
"No, I -"
"I'll do whatever I please with you. Is that understood?" His tone was unexpectedly no nonsense and more authoritative than usual. Without much thought she found herself bending over backwards already.
"Y-yes, sir."
With a smirk, he picked up the daily paper on his table. "Your first task will be to make me a cup of tea."
The girl nodded, muttering a yes sir as she shuffled into the kitchen.
A cup of tea? It couldn't be that difficult. She had made plenty before. Well, of course, before she was living with Miles she made tea the average way with a tea bag. But Miles was having none of it. She learned that if she wanted tea, she must do it the "proper" way. Lyn found the kettle, filled it with water from the sink, and sat it on the stove with the flame set high. Once it had come to a boil, she brought out the lavender colored tea pot. From the neatly organized cabinet above, she reached for the tea leaves, spooning into the pot first, followed by the hot water from the kettle.
This was so extra for a cup of tea, when she herself would have just opted for a simple teabag. But Mr. Snob would spot the difference from the bag and tea leaves in a heart beat, as Lyn had tested this once before. No matter what, she couldn't get away with laziness around him. But one of these days she would find a way to cut corners. Though, she doubted it would be today.
Once the tea was ready, she poured some into a cup with the strainer to separate the leaves. Feeling happy with her work, she added some cream and a few teaspoons of sugar for good measure. Carefully walking as to not trip over herself, she returned to Miles in the living room holding the tea on tiny saucer.
"Here you are, sir," she said as politely as she could muster, still annoyed she had to do this.
Miles took the tea, and had a sip. Just as quickly, he sat the cup down, mouth curled into a frown.
"Servant," he began sharply.
Oh boy. She felt the wrath of criticalness approaching. "Yes, sir?"
"There is far too much cream."
Too much cream? Seriously? She had barely put a dribble in there!
How badly she wanted to protest, but Lyn sucked in her teeth and as gently as possible spoke. "...I'm very sorry. Shall I make another one?"
"Yes. Only 2 creams. 1 spoonful of sugar," the demon prosecutor said as he hastily returned the cup to her.
Lyn nodded as she took the tea back into the kitchen and sipped it herself. There was nothing wrong with this tea. It was freaking awesome, and no she wasn't just simply saying that because she made it. She sucked at making many things, but even she could make a cup of tea. But wanting to move on with her day and life she dumped it. Stupid Miles, the picky bastard, she thought.
Once more she made another cup as he requested and brought it back with a plastered on smile as to avoid cursing at him. "Here you go, sir. I did just as you asked."
Unimpressed, he took a sip. "Servant!"
"Y-yes, sir?"
"What. Is. This," he said shaking his head. "This is disgustingly sweet. I know that perhaps you have a terrible sweet tooth, but I do not. My taste buds are offended."
"Sorry, sir. Very sorry. I understand, I won't make that mistake again!" she said head bowed. But it wasn't so much out of servitude as it was to prevent him from seeing her face which was beginning to contort in rage.
"Tsk. Do it again. This time, right," he said as he once more returned the saucer and tea cup to her.
She nodded furiously as she returned to the kitchen, gritting her teeth.
Lyn returned forcing a smile so hard, she feared her lips would fall off. She passed him the tea for what she hoped would be the last time.
He took a sip yet again and this time sighed. "A milky mess, but I suppose this will do."
She could feel her eye twitching. She made all of those cups of tea just how he asked! "Shall I make it again, sir?"
"No, I believe this is as good as it's going to get," he complained.
Breathe, she told herself. Breathe...she mused before she snapped and lost her cool.
"Is there something the matter, servant?" he asked with a smirk.
"Such an ass," she muttered under her breath.
"What was that?"
"N-nothing," she grinned wanting to cry on the inside. "I'm totally happy to serve, even if it's not to your liking hahahah..."
"What did I say about violating the rules?" he tsked. "There are no warnings, just punishments."
"H-huh? Wh-what are you gonna do...?" Shit. He hadn't specified the punishment, but she watched him as he was reaching for something under the couch. And like pulling out a rabbit out of a hat, what emerged was what appeared to be this giant brown paddle.
"Come over," he demanded.
Nervously, she shuffled over a couple feet closer to the demon prosecutor.
"Now, bend over."
"B-bend over...?" she flushed.
"That will now be 3 flanks for disobeying orders."
"S-seriously?! You're gonna hit me with that thing?!"
"4 times, now. You can keep talking, up to you," Miles remarked dryly as he brandished the heavy looking instrument.
Pouting, Lyn did as she was told, feeling a cross between embarrassed and nervous. That didn't look like the fun type of pain.
Without warning, the demon prosecutor whipped her behind with the paddle. Unable to control her voice, Lyn howled from the searing sting. Miles didn't give her any breaks and continued to reward her with 3 painfully unfun attacks. Sniffing and wiping her teary eyes, she forced herself to stand upright. Her ass was on fire. And seeing as Miles was keeping his word, she would do her damnedest to not break anymore rules.
"I hope that you've learned your lesson. Otherwise, I have more where that came from," he said as gripped the paddle of doom all too happily.
Lyn swallowed hard. She really should watch herself or else she'd lose any feeling she had in her butt by the end of this ordeal. "O-of course..."
Edgeworth chuckled, just eating this all up. "While your tea needs work, there are other ways you can appease me."
With a fake smile as a way to prevent another onslaught and to perhaps feel less pain, she asked, "And what ways would that be, sir?"
"Your next task will be cleaning the entire kitchen."
Inwardly sighing, the cheeky prosecutor began to stagger back to the kitchen.
"But before that, servant, I left a meal for you in the refrigerator. I suggest you have that before such intense work."
"...Oh, thank you so much, sir," she replied as happily as she could muster. Admittedly, Lyn did like when Miles made food, since he was actually skilled at cooking, but seeing the circumstances of today, she was fully aware there'd be some catch.
Lyn continued on into the kitchen, now scoping out the fridge. Carefully, she pulled it open in anticipation of something unholy popping out to get her. But to her relief, there was nothing to cause a jump scare or the like. Just the usual suspects, milk, eggs, vegetables, leftovers. But the note sticking to what appeared to be a plastic bottle of some ...green liquid and a plate of plastic wrapped food caught her eye.
She pulled them out and sat them on the table.
The note read: For the servant's nutrition, which has been severely lacking. Here are healthier options.
The girl paled. This quite possibly was her worst nightmare. The plate was full of raw celery, carrots, broccoli and cucumbers, without even so much a trace of dressing! On top of that, she realized the drink was one of those detoxifier things she'd see Miles drinking. And whatever he was consuming, she was aware it was more healthy (and probably gross tasting) than not!
Lyn thought to just have one of the dreadful choices before her, but that drink seemed like a smoothie and the vegetables were dry by itself. . . That jerk had planned every inch of this out.
Damn you, Miles.
Hesitantly, she unscrewed the lid of the bottle, shoved it into her mouth, and chugged. But not for too long as she quickly tore the bottle away from her lips coughing and sputtering. It was awful! It had left a strong burning sensation in the back of her throat and a bitter taste that had settled on her tongue. "The hell is this shit?"
"Oh?" Of course she said that as Miles emerged from the living room with the cup of tea.
"N-no! I meant it what the heck...was that...shiiiitake mushroom!"
But it was too late. Miles shook his head, dropped his dishes in the sink and emerged with the evil paddle. Within the short span of a minute her bottom was bruised once more.
"Ugh..."
"This is a green smoothie. Quite nutritious unlike the things you put into your body on a regular basis. Be grateful," he said tapping a finger against his brow.
"I'm SO grateful. Thank you SO much."
Yet, Miles didn't leave her in any peace, instead he took a seat at the table. "Continue your meal. Since you're acting like a child, I should see to it that you finish all of what I made."
Lyn bit her lip. She wanted, no needed to swear. Or maybe she just needed to murder Miles. But returning to feigning happiness, she smiled as she slowly placed herself in the chair beside the evil man, and tried the drink once more. Unable to withstand the terrible celery, apple, ginger and kale flavors, the girl opted to down the whole thing at once. Painfully after that, she had the dry veggies. They did nothing to take away the overpowering healthy taste. It just went to show that being healthy would always be terrible. In the corner of her eye, Miles was sitting there smirking the entire time enjoying the spectacle as though she was his entertainment.
"How did you enjoy the meal?" he asked tongue in cheek.
She sort of wanted to puke. "Mhm. It was quite...delectable."
The man chuckled. "I'm glad you think so. But your break is over. Again, your assigned task is cleaning every inch of the kitchen until it's spotless. The cleaning supplies, as I'm sure you already saw, are in the corner by the fridge."
"Aw- I mean, I'm excited and ready to get to work haha."
"As you should," Miles said exiting the room. "I expect the best so don't slack off."
Once Lyn was certain he was out of the room and out of hearing range, she sighed and whispered a couple of curse words to herself. How much more of the day could there be, she wondered.
On the floor was a scrubber, as well as a mop in a bucket of water. On the table was a pair of yellow rubber gloves and a sponge. Gods, she hated cleaning. She thought to cut in half the cleaning time by only focusing on the most unclean areas, so getting the dishes, cabinets over the stove, counters, the table and the fridge first. And...meh. The walls and floors. So...she essentially had to do the whole kitchen to begin with. No shortcuts.
Turning over her shoulder to make sure the coast was clear, she quietly sighed to herself. This was a pain in the ass especially for a lazy person like her. She grabbed the gloves, not enjoying the strong smell of the rubber and slid them on.
First, she scrubbed down the stove with all the elbow grease she had. Next, she wiped and disinfected the counter tops and cleared and cleaned the kitchen table. For some time, she focused her efforts on emptying the fridge of old food, organizing and creating space, and cleaning surfaces inside.
By that point Lyn was tired. She figured the next easiest route for herself was to wash the dishes in the sink. She turned the warm water on and poured the soap onto the sponge. Out of everything to do, doing dishes was simple enough. And honestly, sometimes she didn't mind doing them. Especially with some music, she could somewhat get away from the monotony of the chore with it. Reaching in one of those incredibly small pockets on the front of the dress, she pulled out her phone and hit shuffle.
My body is your party, baby
Nobody's invited but you, baby
Oo. Body Party was a fun one! Well, fun if you wanted a sensual grind, Lyn mused.
I can do it slow now, tell me what you want
Baby, put your phone down, you should turn it off
'Cause tonight is going down, tell your boys is going down
We in the zone now, don't stop
There was just something about the beat to this song she liked. Slow, but not too slow. Sexy, but not over the top. It wasn't a try too hard vibe. Ciara was able to sound sweet and also range sultry, and that made it more fun to sing.
You can keep your hands on me, touch me right there, rock my body
I can't keep my hands off you, your body is my party
I'm doing this little dance for you
As she scrubbed the dishes on the under water, she couldn't help but sway from side to side, having fun pretending to be a sexy singing as she swung her hips seductively from side to side. Anyone who ever listened to this song and claimed never to dance to it, let alone feel like a stripper or some equivalent was a damned liar.
You got me so excited
Now it's just me on you
Your body's my party, let's get it started
Unbeknownst to Lyn, Miles had decided to pop up into observe the status of the cleanup. He noted the counters, table, and stove being polished, but what he noticed at the kitchen sink caught his eye most. He smirked at the display, the singing probably left more to be desired, but he was interested in how she moved so loosely.
Lyn told him she enjoyed dancing, but she had never once shown him. Whenever he'd ask for a performance, Lyn would usually brush it aside and claim she needed to prepare something or tell him she couldn't with him watching.
Boy, you should know that your love is always on my mind
I'm not gonna fight it, I want it all the time
Nearly tiptoeing, Miles approached Lyn from behind, seeing this as another perfect opportunity to mess with her.
Boy you should know that your love is always on my mind
I can't it deny it, I want you, I want you
"Is that right?" the demon prosecutor asked as he pressed his lips against her ear.
"Ah!" Lyn gasped causing the soapy water in the sink to slap her in the face. Annoyed, she took a second to regain her composure. "Sir, you've scared the living shh-daylights out of me!"
"Then you're at fault for not hearing me over your song and dance," he teased.
She flushed deeply. Had he seen all of that...? "I...I'm sorry. I'll go back to cleaning-"
The man wrapped his arms around her waist. "Dear servant, there's nothing to be sorry for. I enjoyed every second of it."
At this point she felt ready to die. She tried to focus her attention on the remaining dirty dishes in the sink, but struggled as she felt her evil boyfriend's intoxicating presence against her.
"In fact, I think you should do it more often," he said as he slid one of his hands up her chest.
"Is..." her head was emptying out. Her other thoughts had vanished as he began to tease her body. "...that right?"
Ugh. She desperately needed to turn around. But as soon as she so much as tilted her head in his direction and pulled her wet gloves from the sink, he commandeered the ship.
"Don't move," he said. "Keep your hands there."
"But-" how she longed to touch. It was killing her.
"Continue with your assigned duties, servant. Unless, you're looking for a punishment."
She scowled. "...Isn't this...unfair, sir?"
He kissed her neck. "It's teaching you how to focus on the task at hand."
What a cheap shot, she thought. With an even cheaper excuse...
'Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
Oh dear. Lyn had forgotten that her songs were still playing. Miles was now laughing.
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me
The woman found herself wanting to shrink further into the ground at this point. She had no shame of what songs she'd left on her phone. It was just that Miles never heard a majority of the things she listened to. And of course, her shuffle sought to humiliate her today!
"What interesting tastes you have in music, servant," he whispered in her ear.
"Don't think anything of it, sir...I just like the way they sound aha..." she awkwardly laughed, trying to ignore that tickling sensation that was lighting her up on the inside. What torture it was to focus on a sink of dirty dishes now!
He slid his hands down to her hips. "Mhm. It reminds me of the truth you desperately tried to hide, meine schlampe."
Lyn flushed so hard, she thought her face were about to melt off. Furiously, she forced herself to finish up the last remaining dishes.
"Good job, servant," Miles remarked at the emptied sink. He let go of her and gave her bottom a congratulatory smack with his hand.
The girl gasped, not expecting the hit and just as quickly flushed angrily at the man.
"Now, scrub the floor," he commanded.
Moving away from the sink, she grabbed the mop and bucket.
"Are you listening, servant?" Miles shook his head. "I told you to scrub the floor, not mop."
You're kidding me.
Hiding the aggravation, she dropped the mop back in the corner by the fridge and grabbed the hand brush.
"Yes, good. Now scrub the floor. On your knees."
"You-"
Miles was wearing a shit eating grin if she had ever seen one. He only raised a brow in response.
She caught herself before she said something regrettable. "You are quite something, sir! Really! I would have never been this...creative..."
Nor perverted...
"Yes, well expect only the best from me."
He hadn't taken his eyes off her. Pouting on the inside, she slowly brought herself to the ground on her knees, feeling the air on her backside. The costume was stupidly small, and even more ridiculously exposing.
Forcing herself to endure the ridiculousness of it all, she lathered the scrubber in the soapy water and began to scrub.
"Servant."
"Yes, sir?" What now? What could he seriously want now? He was already making her clean up the long way.
"Look at me as you do it," he commanded. "And you should be using more elbow grease than that. These floors do need a very thorough cleaning."
Lyn scowled, but caught herself before she raised her head. A close lipped smile was once again all she could do if that. Hesitantly, the woman made eye contact with her evil master for the day. The smug bastard was smiling with conceit as expected, but the attention on her at this particular moment in time with her body more exposed than she would have cared for made flush even harder. At this point she could have used an icepack to cool her burning face and ears, as she began to exert more force on the floor...creating a bouncing motion for certain parts of her body...
It wasn't until some time later, about whenever she started sweating from scrubbing the ground so hard, Miles told her to stop.
"What's next...then, sir?" she panted out, happy that that was over with.
"Well..." A devilish grin crept upon his face. "I wanted you to do only a few more things."
"A few more things, my ass!" Lyn huffed to herself upstairs. Miles had given her a rather long list of chores to complete before 6pm.
Laundry?- check.
Ironing? -check.
Water the plants? -check.
Take Pess for a walk? -check.
Bathroom cleaned? -check.
Recycle sorted? -check.
Trash taken out? -check.
Pedicure? -check.
Dusting Steel Samurai collectables? -check.
She had just finished dusting his collectables, which was a pain as it was since there were SO many of them. Plus, God forbid if she dropped one or put one back in the wrong spot, in what she called his "shrine" of nerd figurines and what not.
But it didn't beat the pedicure, Lyn was half tempted to piss in the water for it, but figured it would backfire for a number of reasons. Since, well, she had to give the pedicure after all...by this point she was already exhausted. She was still forced to wear the high heels and her feet had started to hurt 2 hours into the day.
And it wasn't even comfortable to sit since her ass stung from being hit with that damn paddle!
"SERVANT!" Miles barked from downstairs.
The cheeky prosecutor sucked in her teeth. For fuck's sake ! What was it now? Every 5 minutes, he was calling for her to do something.
Dropping her dust rag on the floor, she shuffled downstairs. "What is it, milord?"
"I dropped my pen. Pick it up."
Lyn took a deep breath, but said nothing aloud. She saw the pen only a couple of feet away from the demon. Holding her annoyance at his pompous behavior, she bent over and dropped it in his lap.
"Thank you, servant," he said, before flinging it across the room against the wall. "Ah, my hand slipped. Mind picking it up again?"
"Tsk! You bastard!" she snapped involuntarily.
Miles chuckled. "Go bring it back over to me, servant."
Lyn knew she screwed herself there, but she took a moment to glare at him before dragging herself across the living room to pick up his stupid pen. She aggressively dropped it on him this time around.
"Now, bend over," he demanded.
"What? That was unfair and you know it!"
"You know the rules," he said grabbing the paddle.
Growling, she did as he commanded, once again feeling the sear of the harsh surface 5 times in a row.
"Beyond that display of disobedience, I believe you're entitled to a break," he said dryly. "Have a seat."
In annoyance, she sat at the other end of the couch.
"Why are you so far away?" he asked. "You're acting like I bite."
"But you do, sir."
His only response was to smirk back. She'd have to save her snark for another time.
"Right here," he gestured next to him.
Hesitantly, she moved over, unsure of what nonsense he had planned next for her. Lyn opened her mouth to ask, but he raised a finger to her lips.
"Hush," Miles said as he turned on the TV. "Now, it's time for the best part of the day."
She only wondered what he had meant by best part of day for moment before seeing the Steel Samurai appear on the screen. The girl used a large amount of effort to stifle her groan.
"It's the 2 season marathon before the movie," he remarked. "Not a sound out of you."
"Of course, sir," she obliged frowning on the inside and smiling on the outside. She was trapped...she thought the Steel Samurai was alright, if not over the top. She had seen it so many times with Maya she thought her eyes would fall out of their sockets. And it was a marathon? That she couldn't speak during? Miles certainly had it all planned very well. Too well.
When the theme song began to play with the Steel Samurai flashing across screen, Lyn felt her soul ascending. To hell or heaven, she couldn't tell. She only knew she would die of agonizing boredom...
After endless hours of the drama between the Steel Samurai, the Evil Magistrate, and the Pink Princess, Miles finally turned off the TV. Thank God, the girl thought to herself. She couldn't take anymore of the over dramatized fights involving the power of love and friendship. It would also be nice to stand, seeing as her butt was still aching.
"Hurry up, servant. We have to get going," he said dragging her by the arm, up from the couch.
"Huh? Going where, sir?"
"Just a simple dinner party I had planned."
"...What dinner party?" Suddenly Lyn felt as though any remaining stamina she had was being poured out, sorta like emptying a bottle of water.
"Oh, did I not mention it to you?" he asked mockingly. "Must have slipped my mind. Regardless, you'll be helping me serve our esteemed guests at the party."
"What the fu-"
He looked at her with a smirk, just waiting. She took a deep breath, remembering to smile that fake smile she'd been used to doing all day. "-dge. Fudge is great haha. Hope you have fudge at the party!"
"There will be far more than that," Miles said more to himself than Lyn.
"Lovely...I'm...really excited."
"Yes, I've been looking forward to this all day, even more than the Steel Samurai" he said. "I'm sure you'll enjoy it just as much as I do."
The only thing Lyn could muster was a weak nod, ready to cry from the fear of what was to come. Miles seemed more evil in this moment, so she was certain that whatever was awaiting at the party would be worse than anything that had happened all day. It was one thing to deal with this ridiculous charade in privacy, but it would be another to have to handle this in front of other people...
Within 35 minutes, they had arrived at this small function hall inside the Gatewater Hotel, specifically reserved by Miles for this little event. Food had already been prepared and catered.
"I didn't want to poison our guests with any cooking by your hands. As a result the only thing you'll be focused on will be serving plates...as well as entertainment."
"E-entertainment?"
The demon prosecutor passed her two envelopes, sealed. "Inside are your instructions. You are not to open them until I give you the signal. The small one you'll open first, while the other larger one will come after."
She didn't like the sound of that, but put them in her front pocket anyway. He checked his watch.
"Well, well, our guest should be arriving any moment now. I'll be going to greet everyone," he said with gusto. "Actually, come along with the bread and wine, servant."
"W-what? Now...?" She hadn't had the time to mentally prepare! Appear in front of people so exposed...
"Did I stutter?" he asked impatiently. A pity he couldn't bring the paddle with him, but he figured this evening would hurt more than the paddle ever would. "Bring the cart and greet our guests...as a proper hostess would."
She cocked her head. Lyn was aware this meant something else ridiculous, but it was unclear of what type of ridiculous. "Um, sorry, sir. I know that's a requirement of some sort, but what exactly does it mean?"
"I'm so happy you asked, dear servant. It seems you're rather uneducated in what it means to have proper manners. In this case, while you say hello to our visitors, you're going to curtesy."
Huh? That didn't seem too bad. But then, she felt a breeze roll in. "H-Hey! Mi-Master! That's..."
"That's?"
Lyn flushed. She couldn't even make direct eye contact with him. "Erm...that's kind of inappropriate...if I'm being proper."
"Oh? And how so?" he asked with a shit eating grin.
Miles, you are the scum of the earth...!
"Well, sir, if I so much as lean over, my a- rear...is going to be seen..."
"Hm. Is that right?" Like the jerk he was, he leaned over and lifted the end of the dress and took a look.
"Ah!" she gasped. If only she could punch him...
He stood back up smirking. "I suppose, that's a problem, we can't allow anyone to see your rather pink heart designed underwear."
The girl turned away from him arms folded, to hide her growing embarrassment and annoyance. "Then what do you suggest?"
"I suggest you find a way for that not to be seen."
"What."
"I mean, it's not me who's wearing it," he shrugged chuckling. "Now, no more dillydallying."
Miles pushed the swinging door open and headed out of the back room and into the front, where the table and chairs would be. The dining ware they had already set, well, it was more like him barking at Lyn on how to place everything the proper way.
Taking a huge gulp of air, the girl mustering up what little strength she had left, shuffled her way through the door dragging the somewhat squeaky cart with her. She pushed the cart off to the right side of her and took the bottle of wine, pouring some into the glasses already placed on the table. It wasn't a large room, all things considered. Lyn assumed that maybe not too many people were coming to this surprise affair. Or, she hoped anyway. She had counted 8 chairs...so besides her and Miles, at least 6 other people would be in attendance (unfortunately). The room small, was painted a rouge color, hanging chandeliers, and had a long rectangular table covered by white tablecloth. It would have been a nice place to enjoy a simple meal in peace, but...
"Welcome, Your Honor," Miles said as he bowed. Lyn whipped her head around, so fast she thought she'd snap her neck. The judge?! Miles invited the freaking judge?!
She had little time to collect her bearings as Miles glared at her sharply. On instinct, she instantly straightened herself out, standing erect as a pole. "Y-Your Honor! What a lovely surprise to see you here," she said as she slowly, but surely curtsying, feeling the air yet again on her backside.
"I must say, thank you for inviting me out Mr. Edgeworth, it's been a while since I've been to a dinner party," the judge said with a warm smile. "And Ms. Doom, it's nice to see you as well! Though, I must say..."
"H-huh?" She noticed the old man looking at her with the scrutiny of a hawk.
"What happened? I see you're all covered in bruises!" he blinked.
Miles covered his mouth with his hand pretending to cough, even well Lyn knew damned well he was snickering at her expense.
Shit. What on earth should she say? "Ah..um...I'm okay, Your Honor...I just..."
Live with a perverted jerk!
"...had a really bad fall. Yeah. A real bad fall down some stairs...Yeah..." she flushed. There was no way on earth, in heaven, or hell she'd actually reveal the source of those bruises!
"Oh dear, you must be more careful, Ms. Doom," he said shaking his head.
"I-I know, Your Honor," she said quickly shooting a dirty look at Miles who just smirked in response. "Um. Anyway, why don't you have a seat?"
Miles pulled out a chair to the left side of the head of the table, "For our esteemed guest."
The judge nodded with a quick thanks. Lyn was about to return to filling drinks, but as if that wasn't enough a parade of people were brought into the room all at once...
"This here, is where this so called party is?" asked the gruff looking man in a tattered overcoat.
"Indeed it is so! What a nice setting this is. So nice it's making my hemorrhoids do a jig!"
"I'm not late right, Edgeworth? It's not like you to invite me to one of these fancy get togethers," Phoenix said rubbing the back of his head.
"Uncle Ray is here so let's get this show started!" the idiot with the fedora clapped.
Simon scoffed. "Edgeworth sama, I do hope this will be as amusing as you said it would be."
Oh my God.
As if the judge wasn't bad enough! He had to invite Grossberg? AND Badd? Lyn swallowed hard, just seeing the other people she had a degree of respect for appearing in that...dumb...
"Welcome everyone, I'm quite glad you've all arrived in perfect time," Miles said with yet another bow.
"L-likewise..." Lyn muttered following suit, holding the back of the costume down with her hands as much as she could. Ugh! She hated Miles! He had designed this perfectly, being a sausage fest in all!
Avoiding making eye contact with anyone, she returned to filling the glasses and placing the bread on the table, while Miles was distracted with seating the others. The woman thought to wheel the cart back out to hide in the backroom for a while, and started to move as fast as she could without being noticed.
But as usual fate wasn't so kind. Miles spotted her from the corner of his eye, and grabbed her arm. He leaned over and whispered, "Nice try. Leave it by the back door until I tell you to go back."
"Ngh..."
"Everyone is seated, so go over to your seat at the other end of the table," he demanded. "And then you're going to open the first letter."
"Fine," she huffed as she snatched away from him, wheeling the cart into the corner next to the backdoor. As annoyed as she could show, she shuffled off to her seat, giving Miles the stink eye. But he shrugged it off, even being as bold to quickly pinch her ass when no one was looking. She took seat at the other head of the table, her right side Phoenix and to her left Ray.
Miles took a sip of wine, getting ready for the fireworks to begin. Any moment. And he had front row seats, having her directly across from him.
Lyn pulled out the dumb letter and tore it open. Pulling out the card, she quickly scanned it:
Since this party was my magnificent idea, I think I deserve your highest praises throughout the entire night. Any compliment will do. On top of it you will be telling our wonderful guests, just what you think of them...which isn't as nice as how you think of me.
Insult everyone at this table to the best of your ability.
Especially Wright. For every compliment you give me, you must insult him.
You'll get my cue when to begin, servant. I expect your best...
And just as quickly Lyn shoved the absurd letter back in her dress pocket. She looked at Miles from across the room, chatting with the judge. Just what the hell was she going to do with this? Literally insult the people here? For real? He was out of his stupid mind!
"So, Lyn how are you?" Phoenix asked.
"Ah! Ahh...pretty good, maybe."
He cocked one of his squiggly brows. "Maybe?"
She opened her mouth to say something normal, but she caught Miles giving her a look from the other end of the table.
"...Yeah, maybe, since you're too dumb to understand my words, pinhead," she said in pain.
The spiky haired attorney just looked at her.
"Uh...Sorry. I was just..." she twirled a lock of her hair nervously. "...thinking of how great Miles was. He's really...great at understanding me, ahah."
"Right..." Phoenix said looking at her confused for a moment before talking to Grossberg.
She ran a hand over her face. This was going to be a long night. Miles looked at her again, tilting his head in the direction of Phoenix.
Lyn groaned. "Hey Phoenix," she interjected into the conversation.
"What is it?"
"...I think you're a huge dork and that Miles is cooler between the two of you."
"Why are you-"
The demon prosecutor, shot her yet another glance. "It's because I had to like alpha males which you are clearly not."
"Hey," he said getting defensive. "If you're going to be like that I won't hesitate anymore in telling you that your outfit makes you look as cheap as a stripper on a pole."
Oof. That stung, but she had to keep going as Miles was still watching. "Not likes it matters to me, Mr. pure of heart who I would have mistaken for virgin."
Phoenix looked pissed, but before he could say anything else Miles clinked his glass with a fork. "Before we bring out the evening's meal, I thought it best we raise a glass on behalf of all attendees."
Everyone stopped what they were doing and raised a glass. Lyn was happy to have stopped picking on Phoenix, but it was only a temporary relief. Shakily, Lyn raised hers having a bad feeling about where this was heading.
"Lyn, why don't you do the honors? I'm sure you have a lot of strong feelings about everyone here."
She wanted to cry. "Haha...of course...I do..."
All eyes were on her like a spotlight on stage. "Where to start... haha...um well, Miles...um, it's really awesome you planned this whole thing."
He motioned slightly with his hand for more. The girl bit her lip. "And yes, it was quite the amazing...plan for such an amazing man...haha."
Cringing, she moved on, as he seemed satisfied with the description. "...To Simon, who is...a pretty big weabo, figurine loving, subs are better than dubs dweeb, I hope you marry your 2D waifu because she'd be the only one to tolerate your weird behavior."
The judge's eyes were like saucers, Grossberg was sweating up a storm, Phoenix's mouth hung wide open, Ray had his hands up, and Badd, just stroked his chin.
"Bah, what would you know, baka? 2D is certainly more quality than you right now," Simon shot back. "You belong in one of those dingy maid cafes!"
Lyn coughed. "Anyway...To Mr. Grossberg who's only defining character traits are hemorrhoids, being gay lovers with Redd White, and blackmail."
"...I knew it." Phoenix muttered under his breath.
"Knew what m'boy?! That is not true!" Grossberg paled. "My goodness, my hemorrhoids are on fire now because of you!"
But Lyn avoided eye contact and moved on. "To Ray, who is...kind of a jerk and a little creepy sometimes with offering everyone hugs."
"Hey, I'll tell you that everyone likes my hugs! They come from a place of peace and love!"
"And to you...Detective Badd."
Badd stared at her, pulling out his mirror. "Go on."
"...You're really scary."
"That all you got, kid?"
Lyn just nodded, she wasn't going to fuck with Badd, he'd decimate her in a second. Miles didn't even protest it, only covering his mouth to hide any laughs that might slip out. "To Phoenix..."
"What now...?"
"...who is always an idiot outside of court, and maybe a bigger idiot inside. It's really...a wonder how you solve your cases. If at all. Since you've had teenage girls bail you out repeatedly with your blind guessing..."
"I'm sure you would have gotten along well with Godot since he loved insulting me just as much."
She couldn't even bring herself to look at the attorney who's games she adored, looking down at the ground. "Um, and lastly to the judge..."
The judge watched intently, like a child with his eyes stuck to the TV.
"Erm, who's head is so shiny you could see your face in it. He looks like Mr. Clean and can't judge worth a dime...he flip flops so much, he makes Mitt Romney seem decisive! Honestly he kisses the prosecution's ass more than me!"
The judge looked at her blankly for a while. "Ms. Doom..."
She closed her eyes, waiting for the biggest verbal lashing of her life. "...I must say, that was hysterical!" he said breaking out into raucous laughter. "I love a good roast!"
At his laughter, the dinner party seemed to feel a little less tense. The others were still giving her the stink eye, but they were laughing slightly amongst themselves.
"...Cheers," she said as she awkwardly drank some wine.
The other guests followed suit. Lyn left the table, grabbed the cart, and scurried into the kitchen. That was way too much! To be fair, she needed to grab the main course to serve for dinner, and needed to be back here anyway. But holy hell it felt like she was pulling teeth!
After a couple of minutes, the backdoor swung open. "Need help, my lovely servant?"
"You can help me by going away, you ass!"
Miles just chuckled. "Good work so far, but it's not over yet. After dinner you're going to read the final note."
"God, can it be any worse than what just happened?"
"...Depends on your perspective."
"What do you mean by that?"
But the evil man didn't respond, just gave a small laugh and helped prepare the girl prepare to bring out the food.
After the serving was complete, dinner and the dessert that followed remained relatively uneventful, minus everyone at the table glaring at her or passive aggressively tearing her apart within ear range coughphoenixcough.
"Now, before you all depart for the evening Lyn had one more thing she wanted to say to you all," Miles said.
Once again, all eyes were upon her like some kind of exhibit in a zoo. "Haha oh boy...did I ever..." Lyn said as she reached into the pocket and took out the other note. This was like a whole damn speech it was so long!
She took a breath, before she doomed herself yet again to be a jackass.
"While, I roasted you, you still suck at roasting me. I will prove it by tearing myself a new one, better than any of you could ever accomplish."
"Is that, right?" asked Phoenix dripping with sarcasm.
"I think we ought to test that for ourselves," Grossberg.
Lyn was sweating now, but she opted to keep the character of the letter. "Gentlemen, I assure you, your roasts suck. Now, shut up and listen to my roast of myself. Anyway-if you thought my insults stunk..."
She looked off to the side with a groan. Of course, Miles had written this and was going for the kill immediately.
"...I'll show you how I really stunk up a dinner party just like this one, through my awful gassy farts. That's right, I passed flatulence so bad that it cleared an entire room full people. People were dying at the party that night, but if you weren't murdered brutally as some of the attendees were, you would have been killed from the two Taco Bell Chalupas I ate. But that's not the worst of it."
People were now laughing hysterically at her. She wiped her face, the red tint visible on her face.
"When I am drunk, I ..."
She smiled, but it was an awkward smile with a head tilt that screamed please murder me now. Miles mouthed at her to continue reading. She shook her. He didn't relent. She winced an continued.
"...I am as horny as a rabbit...in heat...I can't help myself. Give me a drink and I'm ready to...to..."
The demon prosecutor was waiting for this one. He had thought it out for the longest.
"To...beg and plead like the little... bitch I am," she said. She couldn't determine whether to cry or laugh, since she wouldn't deny its truth...minus the group of people she was reading in front of.
Simon cackled like a maniac in response, while that even managed to elicit a chuckle from Badd.
"I am so lucky to have Miles as the most patient, sexiest, boyfriend ever because he...ooo..."
"No," she weakly laughed. "I can't."
'Say it,' Miles mouthed. 'We aren't going home until you say it.'
She shook her head with fervor.
'Do it!'
'Fuck you,' she mouthed back from across the table.
"...because he never minds when I call him... daddy."
The room went dead silent for a moment.
"Wow, I had no idea you were so kinky, Lyn sama," Simon barked slapping the table in hysterics.
"Ah, yes, this reminds me of my youth like the scent of fresh lemons."
"Uh, well..." Shields along with the others, minus the judge, looked at Grossberg not wanting to know anymore than they did at that moment. "Uncle Ray doesn't know much about that stuff, but it would explain the maid outfit..."
"Kinky? Like those knots you get in your back? Sounds rough," the judge said in concern.
"Real rough," remarked Badd licking his lollipop.
"No, Your Honor, it's..." Phoenix began, as he turned pink. "Never mind."
Ready to die, Lyn pushed forward with the reading. "You haven't lived until you-"
Miles you egotistical maniac!
"-you've...you've had a taste of Miles. I am very lucky that he's chosen me, maybe the gassiest, horniest person around, I praise the gods every day for the opportunity and laugh at those who never got ..."
...
...
"...daddy's big prosecutorial cock... Thank you."
At that the room went silent, but then Simon started the slow clap dying of laughter, the applause followed as Lyn scurried into the backroom to hide herself from her own very existence. She figured she'd remain here until she died because she had no intention of ever facing those people again!
Eventually, her alone time was interrupted by her evil boyfriend close to 10 minutes after the fact.
"You did well, dear servant," he smirked.
"You...!"
"I think most of our guests enjoyed the dinner."
"What? No they didn't! They weren't happy with me at all..." Minus the judge, but the judge was just being his ridiculous self not realizing the truth, thankfully!
"And that's where you're wrong," called a deep voice entering the room.
"Lawyerpants?"
Ray rubbed his hands eagerly. "Yup. Miles let me in on the joke. I helped provide some of the ideas."
"What!"
Miles tapped his temple with his index finger. "Simon knew as well, excited for the opportunity to see you humiliated for fun."
Simon, you ass! I should have known he would have willingly taken place without reward being the sadist he is...
"I think you picked the best costume, Miles. Far cuter than my first pick!" Ray laughed as he clapped his hands together.
The prosecutor dramatically bowed. "Why, thank you. I like to believe I have exquisite tastes."
Lyn could barely believe this. They had conspired against her, even down to the stupid maid outfit?!
"Hrgn...you jerks!" she stomped. "I hate you!"
Ray extended his arms. "I know what could make you feel better."
"You are out of your mind!" she said, stepping towards Ray in a rage. "I know what will actually make me feel better...one huge fist to your face!"
"Eep!" the attorney raised his hands up in defense. Miles grabbed Lyn's arm preventing her from going after Ray. "Hey, hey, there's no need to be so mad. You actually looked sorta cute when you weren't enraged..."
"Don't you dare call me cute!" the girl yelled, as she started to twist free of the hold. "Miles let go of me! I'm going to give him a 'real' hug!"
"...Not today you won't, Doomsday!" Ray said as he backed away and ran through the door. "Have fun taming the beast, Miles!"
Bastard! Miles had finally released her, but she couldn't chase Ray in heels, not when her feet were killing her. She would get her revenge upon Ray one day. Just wait.
The demon prosecutor shook his head at the display in amusement. "A pity not of our guests were so well informed."
Lyn gasped. "Wait...you don't mean...not everyone knew? ...Grossberg, Badd...Phoenix didn't know?"
Miles only responded by breaking into laughing.
"Omg! You're not serious! You're not!" But he never stopped laughing. Angrily, the girl shoved him. "Miles, you asshole!"
Jesus! She had had a glimmer of hope that if those two idiots knew, then so did everyone else! But Miles had squashed her dreams. Badd was a guy who wouldn't take any bullshit, the judge thought it was a roast, but poor Phoenix! Miles had her decimate the poor man the whole evening!
"You had better explain everything to them!" she jabbed.
"I already did," he said wiping a tear from his eye.
"Ooo...I'm glad this over with. I just want to bury my head in the sand..." Lyn sighed.
"Actually, you have only one last chore for tonight."
The girl looked at him blankly. "I'm sorry, but WHAT? What more would you have me do, SIR?! Hasn't this been enough to satiate your needs?!"
"No," Miles replied bluntly.
"I...I refuse! I've had enough!" she said, finally snapping as she threw her hair piece on the ground, folding her arms. "I'm tired! Of this outfit, this day, of you and-"
The girl was silenced by the hasty pressing of warm lips against hers, a kiss delivered in a manner that could devour her whole in one fell swoop.
Once he broke it off, she turned away from unable to cope with the extreme surge of anxiety, embarrassment, and eagerness all at once. It was only him who could make her feel so angry and frustrated and turn it on its head with his vulgar actions. But she liked it. Anyone else would probably be too kind. And she respected and needed a man who would go out and take what they wanted. It was hot. And it was still crazy to her that he wanted her.
He refused her shyness as his warm hands had held her face, forcing her to look directly at him. The demon prosecutor looked down at her with devilish delight. "There's just one thing I've been dying to do all day."
Suddenly, there was a huge knot in her throat. With reluctance she posed the question. "...And what's that?"
"You."
Lyn flushed as she recognized his tone of voice.
"Are you being shy right now, Lyn?"
"Shu...shut the hell up!" she huffed. "What the hell makes you think we're doing that after what you've put me through all day, especially this dinner from hell?!"
"Oh, you poor thing. Are you upset with me?" he teased.
"Of course, I am!"
"Are you certain you don't want to? I felt your body trembling earlier-"
"You were only imagining things!"
"Really? I specifically remember when I did this-" he grabbed her from behind and felt her up. "-You were, hmm, frustrated? Needy?"
"Grr..."
"...Helpless?"
"You...you're just some stupid closet pervert with a maid fetish!"
He laughed it off. "Really? And what am I supposed to do when you refuse to show yourself under all of those baggy clothes normally?" he asked. "It only made sense to have you wear it."
"What?"
"Yes, it served two purposes."
"Well, it's a terrible outfit..."
"Don't worry, you won't be wearing it for very long."
"Miles!" She flushed at the self assuredness. Miles picked her up, bridal style.
Lyn sighed. She simply couldn't keep up the resolve to be fully angry. Especially not when she was being held like this. And especially not when he hadn't finished, let alone started, when he was getting her riled up. ...Stupid Miles. She'd kick his ass later when she was less tired and less interested in some kinda reward for a day like this.
"I hate you," she grumbled in annoyance as wrapped her arms around his neck. "This...had better not be a waste of time..."
For a change, he did not smirk, but rather gave a small, albeit gentle smile.
"It won't."
After coming home and after an even longer night, morning came.
Lyn stirred from her sleep feeling the shifts in the bed beside her. "Mmm...Miles?"
"Go back to sleep," he said quietly.
"Huh?" She could barely keep her eyes open. "Where you going?"
"Work."
"Nooo," she said as she squeezed him. "Why didn't you wake me?"
"Because you slept like a log. I actually couldn't wake you."
"It's your fault..." she yawned. "You're gonna buy me some new clothes after what you did to them."
It was worth it in his eyes simply for her reaction to ripping everything she wore. He smirked at the memory. "Fair enough."
Miles tried to uproot himself from bed once again, but was stopped by wiry arms.
"Lyn, I know you're tired, but I have to go-"
"Oh, no you're not. You're not going anywhere," she murmured, hugging him tightly. "It's still early...and besides you have business to take care of, remember?"
"Hm? There's not enough time for another round-"
"No, you perv, I meant the marriage thing! You promised you'd fix it today."
That was right, how could he forget? That was the whole cause of this whole debacle to begin with.
"And I know you, you're gonna stay in the office all day, and not fix it. So...you're gonna go deal with it and then come back home."
"Really now?"
"Mhm," she nodded. "So, you're not going anywhere yet..."
She did have a point. He didn't think a lunch break would be enough to resolve the issue, unfortunately.
"I'll concede for the time being," he said, placing a hand atop her head. "But this won't be a regular occurrence."
"Yeah, yeah, I know, just shut up and lie back down already, jeez..."
They laid their in silence for a while. He was content with it, until he realized he had a question.
"We never actually spoke about it, but you said you wanted to be married, right?"
"Hmm? Yeah, I do. Just, definitely not like what happened this weekend..."
"Believe me, there is no one on the planet that would want whatever that was," he said, still cringing at the memory of the park. "But why is it important to you?"
"Huh? Why are you grilling me all of a sudden?" she teased lightly. "It's...a bit personal, I guess. I've never seen good relationships growing up. And I only had one decent that didn't end in a nuclear fallout...so I kinda want it to prove to myself it's possible to be happy with someone. To have...naw, never mind."
"To have what?" he prodded.
"Nooo, you're going to make fun of me."
"I won't. Tell me."
"No."
"Tell me or I won't annul it today."
"Are you serious?" she sighed. "Ugh, fine. I've always wanted my own charming prince. To be married in a nice ceremony, like my fairy tale dream."
He had to admit he was a little surprised. "Interesting, I would have thought you'd want have a different theme, something more aggressive."
"What? Were you thinking I'd want a viking theme or something?" she scoffed. "I might like fighting, but even my tastes are more romantic than that."
"Heh. Fair enough."
"What about you?"
"I've felt that it wasn't a necessity. Just a contractual agreement between two people. You can just as easily have a life partner without," he said. "Overall, marriage doesn't really interest me."
A fair point, but she had always wanted the full works, she couldn't go without a wedding.
"Of course, you're married to the prosecutor's office, why take two?"
He rolled his eyes.
"But you know, you said that about dating too, and here we are."
"I suppose. Though, this does have an expiration date, unfortunately."
"Yeah," the girl reluctantly admitted. She tried to push the thought of saying goodbye out of her mind every time it arose.
They both went silent.
"In that case, I believe you'll find them one day," Miles spoke quietly, even though it bothered him greatly to so much as imagine her with another man.
To begin again, would be awful especially if it wasn't him or someone like him in the very least. It's not like Lyn would easily forget about Miles. Even if he could be a big jerk or uptight. In her mind there was no one that could replace him or the experiences they've had."...Thanks."
"Even so, for this moment I..." he paused feeling the words get caught in his throat. In court he could be the most eloquent speaker, but when it came to matters of emotions, he sometimes struggled. He didn't want her to leave. Perhaps it had a foolish idea to pursue his feelings in this manner full well knowing the outcome. "...want to be that person for you."
Her eyes widened for a moment at his words. It shouldn't have surprised her, but it still did. Sometimes, it seemed that it was inane that any of this was real, that she was really here and with him no less. It was even more surreal to hear simply because he kept a lot to himself.
With a smile, she planted a kiss on his cheek. "You'd make a pretty bad prince charming, ya know? You're more like my demon prince."
He flushed a bright shade of pink. Once a brat, always a brat. "Don't act like you'd be an innocent princess."
Lyn laughed. "Never said I would be. I'd be spoiled!"
"Indeed, a spoiled troll."
"Hey...!"
"And the balance in the universe has been restored," he remarked wryly as he stroked her back.
"Anyway, are you happy with your revenge now, master?" she murmured.
"Mhm. It had me think that perhaps we should have a real date for a change."
"Huh? A real date?"
"Yes, a date not burdened by Gumshoe's poor choices or other people's drama. Just us."
That actually sounded nice. "When?"
"Perhaps next weekend," he said as he kissed her forehead. "But only on the condition you behave yourself."
"You really think I'd want to do anything after yesterday? Please..." She would eventually get back at Miles. But after yesterday's ordeal...it could wait. Her entire body ached. She'd strike when it was least expected.
Miles chuckled. His revenge plot had been a success in that case. "Very well, I'll make some arrangements."
"Where?"
"I thought you liked surprises. Or is that a stretch for a 'boring' person like myself?" he asked dryly.
"Aw. Don't be like that," she pouted. "I think you're more mean than anything else now for sure."
"How flattering."
"What can I say? It's rare to see that level of wanton cruelty," she remarked tongue in cheek.
"You have only yourself to blame for bringing that out in me."
"Yeah, sure, mister demon prosecutor. The real reason that title exists has nothing to do with courts, clearly," she yawned.
At that statement, he responded by pinching her side.
"Ow! See? Demon right there," Lyn grumbled.
"Go back to sleep," Miles said pecking her lips. "Unless, you wish to experience something truly demonic."
He had said that with a sharp glint in his eye, as though he had some evil plan up his sleeve she didn't know about. "Eh?"
"I'll tear you apart," he nearly smirked. For extra oomph, he bit her collarbone.
"...Well, look at that. I can barely keep my eyes open," she said quickly turning her back to him, as she closed her eyes.
"That's what I thought." Miles wrapped an arm around her.
After all, if she didn't sleep he wouldn't sleep either. He would put her to work...although, he doubted it would be as intense as the previous night. It was something about her irritation with him that made it more fun for him. Perhaps, this is how Lyn would feel when annoying him usually? Miles had found her reactions to be priceless. Hm...She was rubbing off on him far more than he'd like to admit. But as a demon prince, he had to rule his kingdom and subjects the proper way, even if it meant scaring them straight. And he wouldn't have it any other way...