A Kiss in Ba Sing Se: Lovers

[A/N: This is an A/U story. Toph's injury has led to some moral dilemmas for Katara. It is a time of revelation and soul searching for all.

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or titles to the characters of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Wholly owned by NICK!]

Chapter 5

DIM

Toph rolled over as her hand lands on the empty side of the bed. It feels cool to the touch.

Katara must have been up for a while.

"Sugar Queen, where are you?"

"I'm right here, Toph. You should go back to sleep; the sun isn't even up yet."

Toph shook her head. "That doesn't matter to me: day, night, all the same when you're blind. I rather spend the time with you. Why don't you come back to bed and we can snuggle and talk."

Katara looked over at the smiling, welcoming earthbender. How long will it be before you end up hating me? How long before you remember what I did to you, Toph?

"My mind is just too busy to sleep right now, Toph," Katara excused herself. "But you, on the other hand, need your rest if you are going to get better. I think the doctor said sleep would help all your memories return."

Toph shrugged her shoulders. "Hey Sweetness, maybe I forgot them for a reason."

"For a reason? What reason could you possibly have for forgetting?"

"I don't know; I forgot," Toph replied with a mischievous grin.

Katara began to laugh. "Well, you still have that quirky sense of humor."

"So, Sweetness, what's bugging you?"

Katara moved from the chair to sit on the bed. She starts to comb through the earthbender's thick raven-black hair with her fingers. "Well, Toph, I will be leaving today."

Toph swallowed hard. "Leaving, for where?"

"The South Pole. My dad is getting coronated chief of all the southern tribes and also Prime Minister of the north. They are trying to unite the nations. Can't do that with the south being broken up into a bunch of little tribes."

Toph faced away from Katara. "Uh, that does sound important. When will you be back?"

"In about two months. We have to go south, and then north, for the other ceremony."

"You said we, Katara. Is Aang going with you?"

Katara sighs. "Don't sound so sad. Only Sokka and me are going. Aang has a lot of Avatar stuff to do. They are still negotiating with the independent states. Him and Zuko have been knee-deep in scrolls for months."

Toph rubbed her chin. "I have an idea. Why don't you send Aang to the south pole, and you stay here with me?"

"As appealing as that sounds, Sweetie, I don't think that will work. I'm being honored as well, and I haven't seen my grandparents in almost a year. They have a big building project going on, and dad wants Sokka to look over the plans as well."

"Is Suki going with Snoozels?"

"I don't think so," Katara answered with a sinking feeling.

"Are they fighting?"

"Something like that, Toph. They had a big fight, and I was the cause."

Toph turned so that they're face-to-face. "Oh, I know. Did you finally tell her that you want to get your freak on with him?"

Katara's jaw dropped open. "What? Of course not! He's my frick'n brother! Why would you say such a terrible, nasty thing, Toph?"

"I'm just teasing you, Sugar Queen. I would never tell anybody that. That would just be mean, like spreading fake news."

Katara's eyes drop to the floor as she recalls the previous night. "That's right, Toph, fake news, should never be spread."

"Katara, who are you in love with?"

"Don't you remember Toph? It's Aang. I've loved him like, forever."

"When I ask myself that question, there's like this dim memory in the back of my mind. It's like looking through wet sand, trying to see with my earthbending sight. All fuzzy, no details. This is all so frustrating. I could have sworn you were in love with Haru for some reason."

"Haru? Haru doesn't like girls. He's into the boys, well men."

Toph nodded her head, gingerly. "And… what's the problem? You're the manliest person I know, Sugar Queen."

"No, Toph, that's you. Remember that play we saw on Ember Island?"

"Oh yeah. That's right," the earthbender snickers. "I remember now, he and that Boulder wimp hooked up, didn't they?"

"Now, you remember?"

Toph placed a hand on her forehead as her smile evaporated. "My mind – it's all a jumble, Sweetness."

Katara strokes the top Toph's head as the healer's hand is encased in water that starts to hum and glow. "That's why you need to get your rest Toph. Everything will be better when you wake up, I promise you."

"Sweetness, - ahhhh – I'm starting to feel so sleepy," Toph says with a long yawn as her foggy, jade eyes begin to inch closed. "I guess I will lay back down."

"Good call. I'll lay here with you too," she replied, staring up at the ceilings wooden slats.

"Thanks, Katara. I just want to tell you; I love you."

The earthbender's words trail off as the induced sleep takes hold. Katara's blue eyes hold a mixture of sadness and hate.

Aang went out on the balcony seeing that he could not get to sleep. It was a cool and damp morning, making its presence known as the sky slowly lightens. A mixture of hazy purple and blue tones paint the far eastern horizon contrasting the star-filled ebony canvas of the fleeing night.

"Ah, Avatar, you're up early. I would think that you'd be still sleeping after being up so late two nights in a row," Iroh said with a warm smile.

Aang turned around and gave the old general a courteous bow. "As an airbender, I like to greet the morning breeze. Often it is the only peaceful time of the day. Why are you up so early if I may ask?"

"This is my usual hour. I have to prepare for the day and my customers. A teashop doesn't it run itself," Iroh laughed as he stepped beside the young man. "It is like you say; often, this is the only peaceful time of the day. Is Zuko still asleep?"

"Out like a light and sleeping like a baby. He seems to be able to sleep anywhere."

Iroh chuckled to himself. "Believe it or not, there was a time that he wouldn't let himself rest at all. I thought that he would leave this life before me. He was always so edgy and nervous; it made me nervous too."

Aang nodded. "I remember those days. He always looked like he was about to fart but just couldn't let out. He wouldn't smile, even at my best jokes."

"A sense of humor isn't something that comes naturally to my family, Avatar Aang. I had to work at understanding humor as I grew older," Iroh admitted. "It was easier attacking this city than learning that."

Aang looked over at the smiling older man with surprise. "Wow, that's hard for me to believe that you had to develop a sense of humor. You always seemed to be happy whenever I saw you."

"Trust me; I was a severe young man. In fact, I was much more serious than Zuko. Oddly, it was the death of my son Lu Ten that changed to me. It's funny when you lose somebody you love, your life can gain something it never had. Other's things you thought were important become meaningless."

"I get that. Before I ran away from the Air Temple, I thought my freedom was everything. But when I woke from that iceberg, I would give anything to see my people again."

"It is good you kept your sense of humor even through all that Aang. Who would have blamed you if you became bitter and hateful?"

Aang rubbed the stubble on his unshaved head. "My teacher, Gyasto, once told me, 'No matter how big the tree of hate gets, its roots are always close to the surface so that the winds of revenge will topple it on those who seek its shade.' Or something like that."

Iroh placed a hand on chin in thought. "I wish I had been told that before I ended up losing my son. You were fortunate to have such a wise teacher, Avatar. I was told that hate and revenge are the legs of the strong. I learned later how weak and brittle those legs truly were."

Aang placed a hand on the older man's shoulder. "But now, you've been a great teacher to all of us. I know I have learned many things. We could not have won the war without your wisdom."

"But I wasn't wise enough to save my brother, or my niece, or all those people on both sides that lost their lives as that tree fell."

Aang shuddered. "Wow, that was the first time I really understood what he meant!"

"Pain can help us grow wiser if we don't get bitter first, Aang. That is where humor helps. We should never take ourselves too seriously."

"I understand that one. When I can't get out of my own way, I usually end up doing something stupid."

The Dragon of the West lets out a huge belly laugh. "Now that surely is a wise saying! May I repeat it, Avatar?"

The Avatar's face flushed a crimson hue. "By all means, if you want to. It doesn't sound all mystical and wise-ish, but go ahead. I don't think anyone has ever asked to quote me before."

Iroh roared once more. "Then let me be the first! I'm sure many others will follow."

Aang finds himself caught up in the old general's infectious laughter. They laugh and giggle until both are out of breath.

"Whew, uh, uh, hard to believe you didn't have a sense of humor, uncle. Zuko told me even when he was young; you would tell him all kinds of jokes."

The old general closed his golden eyes as he shook his head. "I wouldn't call those jokes now. I'm ashamed of myself for even saying them, especially to a child. They were more a reflection of my dark soul."

Aang gazed over at the now morose man. "How can a joke be that bad? I used to hear all kinds of jokes when I traveled with my teacher."

Iroh opened his eyes to stare into the Avatars. "My father, Azulon, was quite fond of dead airbender baby jokes, and I had a lot of them. Apparently, in his day, hunting airbenders was considered a sport. Children were used as bait to lure out the adults."

Aang clenched his fists tightly. "Sorry, I asked."

Iroh sighed loudly, watching the anger play out on the young man's face. "It is I who must apologize. My family… my people have caused you so much pain."

Aang takes in a deep breath. "It's okay, uncle. You, Zuko, and even Ursula have all apologized many times. Yeah, it still hurts, but I don't think of any of you as being those people."

Iroh bows at the waist. "You are too kind, Avatar Aang."

The smell of the freshly brewed tea draws Katara out of the bedroom. She approaches the table were Aang, and Iroh sits as the tea steeps. "Mmmm, that smells so good. May I have a cup?"

Iroh greets her with a smile. "Of course you can, I'll.."

The waterbender holds up a hand. "I know my way around here. I'll get it. While I'm in the kitchen, anything else?"

The tea was complete by the time Katara returned with her cup and a tray of toasts and jams. What she hadn't anticipated was Toph and Zuko were also sitting at the table.

"Sorry Katara, can you bring out two more cups while I prepare a bigger pot," Iroh requested with folded hands as if pleading.

As the waterbender places the tray down, she forces a smile. I think we're going to need some more food as well. I'll slice some of that cured hog-boar ham and make a quick scramble with those duck-hen eggs. Zuko, you, Aang, and Toph can start on the tea."

Aang stands, "Toph, Zuko, you guys start. I'm going to go help Katara in the kitchen."

"Hey Buddy, I can help Katara. You help Toph," the Fire Lord offers.

"That's okay, Zuko; I have something I want to talk to her about."

"I don't care who takes care of me," the salivating earthbender declared, "Feed me!"

"Okay, okay, I'll pour you a cup and get you some toast and jam, princess," Zuko conceded.

"Milk and honey in my tea, now!" Toph demanded with a broad smile.

Zuko starts to prepare Toph's tea. "Go ahead, Aang; I got this. You and Katara probably need some private time too."

"Thanks, man."

Aang followed Katara into the kitchen. "So, did you sleep okay last night?"

The waterbender glances over her shoulder. "Did you?"

"Nah. Zuko and I talked most of the night until he finally fell asleep. I kept imagining Toph suddenly remembering you two arguing and – well, what happened during it. I could see her freaking out."

Katara swallowed hard. "Me too. She was so restless and mumbling all kinds of things."

The Avatar's left eyebrow lifted. "What kind of things?"

An irritated expression flashed across the waterbender's face. "I don't know. I said she was mumbling!"

Aang returned a curious glance. "Sorry."

The waterbender stopped what she is doing to look at him. "Aang, you don't have to be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong, I did."

"But Katara, you didn't do anything intentionally. It was an accident."

"And do you really believe that? What if it wasn't an accident, Aang."

A cold chill swept down the airbender's spine. "I can't believe that Katara. I saw how shocked and surprised you were."

"You weren't out there when she fell, Aang. Only me and Iroh saw her fall. But you heard me, us, right? You heard all the horrible things I told her, and I was trying to hurt her."

"I heard part of it. I don't know what made you so upset that you would treat her that way, say such things. But, that wasn't you; you're just not like that," he declared, hugging the waterbender tightly. "That wasn't the woman I love."

Katara's head rested on the tall, young man's solid chest. "How do you know, Aang? I don't even know who I am anymore. It's not like when we were young. I've ended a lot of people; I've done some nasty things in the name of peace. Maybe that's what I become, like my nickname, Water Reaper."

Aang stepped out of the embrace, holding her arms tight. "Don't ever call yourself that again. You are not that monster."

Katara's eyes glisten brightly, and a cynical smile twists her lips. "Monster, is that what you think, Aang? That was me on that battlefield, drawing the water out of those people and making it a weapon on that hot, dry volcano!"

Aang turned away and closed his eyes. "No, Katara, it wasn't you! You're not like that!"

"Look at me, Aang! It was me! I turned all those people into those dry husks in an instant."

"You didn't have to, Katara."

"What do you mean, I didn't have to? How many people did we lose, had we lost already? Teo, The Duke, Hippo, more than half the Kyoshi warriors, all those swamp guys, and earthbenders, not to mention Bato. What the fuck was I supposed to do then Almighty Avatar?"

Aang's head slumped forward as he covered his face with his hands. "I don't know Katara, run?"

"Run? Run where? There was no place to run, Aang! If we didn't win, the entire world would be under that maniac's control. He was still willing to do whatever it took to be the Phoenix King or whatever he was calling himself."

"But, I took his bending away."

"Yeah, and he figured out he didn't need it to be the most powerful man on earth, now didn't he? What he wasn't physically capable of doing, his machines and technology made up for. In fact, you probably did him a favor because he was more powerful than ever without his bending. He didn't need the comet either!"

"How were we to know that the Fire Nation would develop such weapons or recruit the Sun Warriors as allies?" he moaned. "Fire spewing airships and dragons, it was all too much!

Katara's body started to shake. "Too much for who? Too much for you? Why Aang? Does it offend your thinking that everybody is somehow good at heart? You saw what they did to those villages that sided with us. They didn't spare the old or the young. They fed babies to those dragons, Aang."

"I know, I remember! I'll never forget those scenes. It was like when I walked through the Southern Temple and saw everybody dead."

"But the difference back then, Aang, you got mad. This time, you just seemed a bit upset. You vetoed doing a preemptive strike, as we did on the day of Black Sun, though we had the advantage at the time. Even among such pain and devastation, you were saying you wanted to save Ozai again. Do you know what that does to the people who have sacrificed so much?"

"But Katara, I thought you understood. We had to save lives and keep our souls pure!"

"Pure! How could our souls be pure or innocent Aang when we allowed so many to die in our place? When we had the power to save so many, and we just pissed it away!"

"So, we should have just – killed them?"

"Yes, Aang, we should have just killed him, namely Ozai. When you had him the first time, taking his bending seemed like a good idea, but you didn't take his ambition with it. He simply routed it to other means. He had you figured out after that. We all did what we had to do, despite how you played it."

"So, you guys ignored my plan?"

"Yep, Sokka created a new one, and we all agreed to it, including Zuko and Iroh. In our plan, we would literally cut the head off the dragon, and that meant if we had an opportunity, we were going to kill Ozai without hesitation."

"You—you didn't trust me?"

"If I had trusted your plan Aang, me, Zuko and Suki would have died for certain. It was bad enough that Ty Lee got burnt on her legs like that. Those are scars that are never going away."

The Avatar ran his hands down across his eyes. "I know Katara. I made you all do things that I wasn't willing to do. Toph kills Ozai because I didn't want to. Sokka ends Azula, though I could have killed her a hundred times over in that battle. I'm such a coward."

That news stuns the waterbender. Katara stared at the Avatar's back for a moment before heading for the door. "Yes, yes, you are, Aang."