He might never know. All CJ could think about as the world screamed in blue and red flashes around her was that Josh might never learn about Donna. Her hands were clinging to Josh's desperately as the paramedics ripped open his shirt and frantically started to assess the damage to Josh's chest. There was blood everywhere, CJ looked down at her own hands and saw them shine with the sticky, red liquid. Another paramedic came rushing to the scene and CJ had to shift positions to stay out of her way. She didn't relinquish her grip on Josh's hand. The paramedics were speaking to each other quickly with medical jargon CJ didn't quite understand. She turned her head to glance at Toby and Sam behind her and she saw them staring with the same blatant horror she was.

With a closed fist crushed to his mouth as he held onto his wrist with the other hand, Sam couldn't take his eyes off his best friend. Toby was stood perfectly still next to him with his hands outspread by his sides. CJ glanced down and saw Toby had blood dripping from his fingers and splattering the pavement below. Josh's blood. The same blood that was coating her hands now. Charlie was sat on the ground, with his knees bent in front of him, he was staring at his hands.

CJ jumped as a backboard was dropped on the other side of Josh with a clatter. The paramedics never told her to let go of Josh's hand as they transferred him to the board, so she didn't. She felt Josh squeeze tighter as he cried out in pain at being taken from the pavement.

"It's fine Josh," CJ tried to say, feeling the utter falsehood of her words immediately. "You're going to be fine!" She cringed, but saw Josh's eyes flick up towards her. She saw the panic in them and she kept going.

"We're going to get you to the hospital and you're going to be just fine," CJ tried to assure him while keeping her own voice from shaking.

"O-okay," Josh stammered. CJ felt her eyes well up with tears and she had to look away from him. She was thinking about Donna again and about the child Josh might never come to know. A part of her wanted to tell him here and now about the baby. He couldn't die without ever knowing, surely?

CJ took another look at her friend as they were rushing towards the ambulance and shook her head.

"Josh, you need to hang on. There's so much we need to tell you. Please," CJ started telling him almost pleadingly as they all piled into the ambulance. Toby and Sam shot quick decisive words at the paramedics as they attemptted to limit the number of passengers. Charlie pushed his way in too. CJ saw Josh's eyes roll up towards her again. He had a neck brace on and a paramedic was placing an oxygen mask over his nose. Josh reached up his right hand to pull the mask away something and slurred back "tell me what?". The rest of the group also looked at CJ in question.

The paramedic besides CJ immediately smacked Josh's hand away and replaced the mask.

"Mr. Lyman, you need to keep that mask on," she said sternly. Her partner was currently inserting an IV into Josh's arm.

The next 20 minutes of CJ's life passed by in a blur. There was a never-ending amount of doctors and nurses shouting instructions and orders and medical terminology at each other, the noise of the sirens seemed to be never ending. She felt her heart break for what felt like the thousandth time as she heard the desperation in Sam's voice as he followed alongside the stretcher carrying Josh, assuring Josh he was still next to him.

Suddenly Leo was there and he had to take in the news that the man he basically viewed as a surrogate son was flickering dangeroulsy between life and death. They learned that not only had Josh been hit, but the President was in surgery at that very moment. Though they had been assured the President's wound wasn't nearly as critical as Josh's the incessant worry kept pounding away beneath CJ's ribcage.

Within minutes of arriving to the ER, Josh was being carted away up to surgery. The rest of the staff could only watch helplessly as their now unconscious friend was taken away from them. The unspoken question was on everybody's mind, was that the last time they'd see him?

He might never know. CJ's mind had returned to that tragically unfair statement. The fear CJ had seen in her friend's eyes was haunting her. In the ambulance ride over, she had heard the paramedics tossing out tons of medical jargon she didn't understand, but she had gotten the gist. Single gunshot wound, collapsed lung, loss of consciousness. Tears were filling her eyes as the horror of the situation washed over her again and she stood, taking a deep breath.

Toby was watching her warily from a few seats away. When CJ muttered something about needing some air, he followed. She never even realized he was behind her until she found a quiet place in an empty hallway.

"Hey," Toby said quietly, not wanting to startle her. CJ's head whipped around at his voice.

"Hey," she replied back. She let her back fall against the wall and looked up at the ceiling.

"Toby," CJ started, her tone morose. Toby looked up at her and simply nodded.

"I know." The two remained in silence for a while before Toby spoke up.

"CJ?"

"Yeah."

"What did you mean in the ambulance?"

"What?"

"You told Josh he needed to hang on so we could tell him about something."

"I-" CJ suddenly felt panicked. "Toby."

"CJ," Toby said soberly in that knowing way he did. He sighed gruffly before continue. "Is Donna pregnant?" CJ stared at him in shock, floored.

"Toby-"

"That's why you were so pissed today," Toby pressed on. At CJ's baffled look, he continued. "I talked to Josh today. He told me about him and Donna sleeping together." Toby paused. "About two and a half months ago."

CJ stared at him wide eyed, amazed how quickly he put the information together.

"How did you-"

"He told me that they broke it off. What else would crop up now? What else would be so important that you had to tell him when he was strapped to a gurney with a bullet hole in his chest?" Toby's voice had dropped to a soft whisper, his words coated with emotion. CJ marveled at the sight. Seeing Toby this emotional was not something she was sure she'd ever seen before.

"He doesn't know, Toby," CJ told him, her own voice breaking now too. "What if he-" Toby held up a hand.

"Don't, CJ."

'But-"

"Don't!" Toby repeated more firmly. CJ sniffed a few times and nodded.

"Donna and I are the only ones that know. You can't let her know you figured it out. At least not until," CJ paused again to take a deep breath. "Not until she can tell Josh."

Toby nodded and ran a quick hand to wipe at his nose.

"Come on," he said imploringly, an arm outstretched towards her. "We should get back."

The two of them walked slowly back to the grim waiting room side by side. Nobody really looked up at them when they entered. Everybody was too lost in their own thoughts. CJ was so lost in her own vigil, she didn't even notice when a rush of blonde hair entered the room in a hurry.

"Is there any word on the President?" CJ looked up and felt a fresh sliver of pain dissect her chest. Donno didn't know. She didn't know how much her world had been drastically altered in the last few hours. How had nobody thought to call her? She mentally kicked herself.

"The President's going to be fine," CJ said after a moment, with a small but genuine smile. She watched as Donna practically melted with relief and CJ couldn't bear to be the one to break Donna's heart so severely. Seeing the anguish on CJ's face, Toby cleared his throat. The room turned to look at him and CJ felt grateful, but her moment of peace lasted only seconds as she watched Donna slowly digest the news and collapsed into a chair behind her. She reached out an arm to try and comfort her friend, but she wasn't even sure Donna registered it. CJ didn't miss Donna's hand as it slowly crept up to her stomach and the fresh horror of the night washed over her once more.

Josh might never know.