The expression on Zoro's face could be described as nothing except for ugly. Her upper lip was curled up in disgust and her nose scrunched as she squinted at the situation in front of her.

"Absolutely disgusting." She noted and turned away from the cook who was currently fawning over the mermaid Camie who had just arrived aboard their ship. She was very vibrant and incredibly cute with her pouty lips and short hair. She was also very sweet, caring and an altogether very lovely person.

Zoro clenched her fists.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked over to see Robin giving her a sympathetic smile.

"Swordsman-san, patience." She advised. "Sometimes maturity is needed before certain things are pursued."

Zoro frowned, not sure what she was talking about. Nami sided up next to her as well and side bumped her with her hip. Zoro winced slightly, still recovering from her earlier wounds.

"Or pushed." Nami told her, smiling cat-like.

"Navigator-san, I really don't think—" Robin started. Nami waved her hand.

"Oh, don't be so old fashioned. They're both adults, they are just both idiots. If we let them handle this on their own, nothing will ever happen." Nami explained, gesturing to Sanji who was practically serenading the mermaid.

Zoro frowned between the two.

"What are you talking about, woman?" Zoro asked.

"Look, we all know about this tension between you and Sanji. So, I'm going to help you remedy it." Nami replied, grinning broadly.

"Tension?" Zoro asked, looking over at the cook and feel something rising in her. "He's ignoring me." Nami raised her eyebrows.

"Does that... make you feel angry Zoro?" She asked.

"Of course. He's my best friend." Zoro crossed her arms. Nami rolled her eyes.

"Yeah yeah. Best friends. Anyway, he's been ignoring you right? Why don't you give him a taste of his own medicine?" Nami explained.

"What do you mean?" Zoro asked.

"Well, you get mad when he talks to other women, right? Why don't you get close to and talk to some guys?"

"You mean… act like I'm their best friend?" Zoro pondered. It seemed like a lot of work, but at the same time, Sanji's actions were really irritating her. Could her becoming close to someone else really get back at him? It sounded stupid to her, but at the same time, she did get pissed off whenever Sanji was with others like that.

"…Yes. Exactly." Nami replied, frowning and suddenly looking uncertain. She glanced at Robin who shook her head.

Zoro nodded and looked around at her options. She saw Chopper on the other side of the deck. The deer noticed her watching and waved excitedly at her. Usopp was tinkering on some kind of invention off to the side. Wouldn't he be a good choice? He had said something before about a spark between them, then Sanji almost stabbed him. Yes, Usopp seemed like a good option.

Zoro started walking towards the marksman but was blocked by a large shadow. She looked up to see their shipwright posing in front of them.

"I couldn't help but overhear, lil she-bro. I would be honored to help you in this task of love!" Franky shouted almost too loudly over the face palm of Nami.

"Eh? Ah, alright, cool." Zoro agreed, fist bumping him. Franky wrapped an arm across her shoulders and pulled her into the ship, explaining his idea for their plan.

"I have an announcement to make." Franky said at dinner that night. They were all sitting around the table, enjoying their meal. A few of the others looked up in interest, but most of the crew just continued eating while Sanji left to grab the dessert from the back.

"What is it, br—you?" Zoro asked in a monotone voice. She was very clearly reading off of a piece of paper that had been taped onto the edge of the table.

"Oh dear, it's about us!" Franky laughed and draped on of his large arms across her shoulders. Zoro shrugged it off.

"Oh, you silly—this is stupid, I would never say this." Zoro glared at Franky who nudged her again. Zoro sighed. "Oh. You silly goose. You're going to tell everyone now? How embarrassing. Blush and hide face with hands."

They now had the attention of the entire crew who were giving mixed reactions. Luffy wasn't paying attention, Usopp was watching with confused interest, Nami was rolling her eyes, Camie gasped with glee and Brook was unable to show an expression at all.

"U-uh, y-yeah! So, we're lovers now!" Franky announced to the others, smiling and trying to wrap his arm around Zoro again.

"Lovers? I thought the plan was to be best friends." Zoro asked.

"Shhhh, just read your lines!" Franky directed.

"These lines are stupid! And what's this supposed to be?" Zoro asked, pointing at a drawing at the bottom of the paper.

"That's a picture of us kissing!" Franky pointed.

"We didn't discuss that." Zoro started ripping up the paper.

"Yes we did! Remember I said we'd smooch when Sanji entered the room?"

"That's what a smooch is?"

"Of course!"

"Is it really necessary?"

"Of course, that's the crutch of the plan!" Franky said exasperated.

Sanji came back into the room with dessert.

"Who's still hungry~?" Sanji asked as he twirled over to Camie and the girls, cutting the cake and handing out slices.

"Now!" Franky shouted. "SUPER SMOOCHES!" He pulled Zoro in and tried to plant a big wet kiss on her mouth.

He let go very quickly, however, as he felt a sword pressed against his neck. He raised his hands in surrender. Zoro glowered at the shipwright but couldn't help but glance over at the cook from the corner of her eye. She saw no change. He was still animatedly chatting with Camie, the beautiful mermaid. She huffed and lowered her sword, replacing it in its sheath, then heading out to train.

When she finished training, much earlier than usual due to her wounds, there was a cup of lavender tea sitting on the railing waiting for her. She stared at it.

After Thriller Bark, he had changed.

He had stopped visiting her after her trainings.

He had stopped their nightly conversations.

She felt…lonely.

"So… I was thinking…" Nami leaned over the swordsman who was currently doing sit-ups in the crow's nest.

"Your plan failed." Zoro replied, glaring at her.

"That was not my plan, that was Franky's plan! Look, it didn't work because it was Franky. No one would believe you two are… best friends. He's more like a brother or father. You need someone younger and preferably handsome." Nami explained.

"Whatever. It doesn't matter. I give up." Zoro sat up and wiped the sweat off her forehead.

"Really? How are you going to be the greatest swordsman if you just give up on everything?" Nami stabbed. Zoro frowned.

"That's different."

"Is it?"

The crew later arrived at Sabaody Island to coat their boat for their next trip under the sea to cross the red line. While Luffy and the others went off to get the preparations started, Zoro went off on her own despite the protests of the others. She wanted to be alone. She had things to think about and also she was certain something was waiting for her here as well.

She wasn't sure how Mihawk was predicting their movements, but he didn't seem to have bad intentions. She simply had to wander around town before being stopped by some stranger handing her a letter. She had trouble finding an actual town, but when she did it wasn't long before sure enough, she was approached.

"Zoro right? Whoa, that was quick. The guy just asked me like a minute ago." The stranger laughed, handing her the letter.

"Wait, which way did he go?" Zoro asked, wondering if she could catch the messenger.

"That way." The stranger replied, gesturing to the right. Zoro nodded, stuffed the letter in her haramaki and took off in that direction.

She stepped off the path and started going deeper into the woods. She frowned as tracking wasn't one of her talents and she couldn't discern any sort of track or footprints. Figuring since she was on an island she'd come to the beach eventually, she kept walking.

And walking.

The sun went down.

As her stomach growled, she decided to do a little hunting. In the distance she caught a flash of white fur. She started to pursue as she crouched down and started sneaking forward.

She heard a click, then a loud snap as something sharp dug into her leg and she was suddenly pulled sharply into the air.

"We caught something!" Called out an excited voice. Zoro watched as the white fluff of fur she saw earlier bounced towards her as she hung upside down from the trap.

It was a bear.

A bear was talking.

Zoro rubbed her eyes.

Still a bear.

The bear also looked shocked.

"A-ah! We caught a girl! I'm so sorry! Are you okay!?" The bear frantically asked, pulling at his fur in panic.

"I'm fine." Zoro replied, pulling out her sword and quickly swiping at the chain of the trap. She cut it off and landed easily on the ground, albeit with her leg still clamped in the trap. She reached down and pulled the trap open before tossing it aside. Some blood was running down her leg and she tested it. It was a bit weak but not anything terrible.

"Don't put any weight on it." Said a mysterious deep voice coming from behind the bear. Zoro looked up as a man approached her. He was tall, thin, and was carrying a long sword. She eyed the sword first before looking back at the man. He crouched down beside her and reached for her leg. Zoro withdrew it quickly, leveling her sword at the man's neck.

"A-ah! I wouldn't do that! Captain is very skilled! He's a doctor." The bear explained. Zoro hesitated but allowed the man to look at her leg. After a moment he stood back up.

"It's nothing to worry about, but I'll bandage it up." The man told her. "Best if a swordsman can use their feet well, eh, Roronoa Zoro-ya?" Zoro narrowed her eyes at the man who smirked back.

"Captain! Let's take her back to the camp! There are some bandages there." The bear exclaimed.

The man blinked. Then blinked again.

"Her?" He asked, eyes wide and looking at Zoro again.

"Yes Captain! Let's get her back to our temporary base. I'll carry her!" The bear walked over and offered his arms to her cautiously.

"Hold up… who are you guys? And why can you talk?" Zoro asked, looking between the two.

"My name's Bepo! And this is my Captain, Trafalgar Law." The bear introduced.

"….Never heard of you." Zoro admitted as the bear carefully tried to slip an arm around her to carry her. She swatted him away and curiously limped after Law, who had started going through the woods. Bepo followed worriedly.

"Perhaps that's best." Law replied, seemingly in thought. He was silent as they walked back.

Bepo leaned his head towards Zoro's.

"Captain's not so good around unattractive females." Bepo whispered.

"Ahh… wait, what?"

They soon arrived at the camp. It wasn't much, just a little tent and a place for a fire. Bepo gestured for Zoro to sit down on a log and went to build a fire. Law was staring at her.

"It's not that bad, I usually just let this stuff heal on its own." Zoro told him. Law shook his head.

"It'll only take a moment." Law replied.

But he didn't move. He continued staring at her.

Finally, Bepo had finished making a fire and noticed what was going on. The bear shuffled over and put his hands on the captain's shoulders and pushed him over to Zoro, then pushed him down in a crouch next to the swordsman.

"Because Captain is quite handsome, he gets pursued by women a lot. So, he's got an aversion to them." Bepo explained, smiling.

"Shut your trap!" Law yelled at his subordinate, looking quite unnerved and embarrassed. He quickly recovered his stoic face however and turned back to Zoro.

Seeing the wound, Law took her ankle in his hands, feeling it again for any inflammation or damage. He took his time and gently cleaned and bandaged the wound. Zoro watched the man work, before she realized something. She rubbed her chin in thought. Nami did say she needed a handsome man for the plan to work. It was completely disastrous last time but maybe if it were someone like this…

"You are handsome." She noted, as if suddenly realizing it. Law froze. Bepo squealed and hugged his captain from behind.

"I want to be your best man!" The bear declared, rocking the man back and forth.

"Are you busy?" Zoro asked Law, who didn't seem mentally there anymore.

"We can make time!" Bepo replied.

"I need to bring you to meet my crew." Zoro told Law.

"A date! Meeting the family!" Bepo put his large paw on top of Law's head and made the man nod his head yes. Law swatted at the bear's hand.

"Wait, hold up. You do realize that I am already going out of my way to help you right now, right? And you're asking another favor from me?" Law asked.

"It's your fault I'm hurt in the first place. What if I never walk again?" Zoro retorted back. "Take responsibility."

"Right, Captain! Take responsibility for this wonderfully plain-looking woman's injury!" Bepo joined. He gestured to the swordsman.

Law groaned.

"We're busy, we have an auction to get to." Law reasoned.

"Ooohhh~ your first date!" Bepo crooned.

"Let's do that." Zoro replied. She glared at him as if daring him to decline.

"Fine. Maybe having you with me could be useful there. But if you're with me then you have to follow my orders." Law replied, rubbing his chin.

"Oh my gosh its going to be so much fun! Law has never been on a date before!" Bepo told Zoro, excitedly shifting from foot to foot.

"Huh. Must have a bad personality then." Zoro observed, crossing her arms. "Or weird."

"No one asked you!" Law snapped at the two.

"This is just fantastic~ Do you want to get ready? Maybe freshen up a bit?" Bepo offered their tent.

"She's fine! Ugh, let's just go." Law rubbed his temples.

"Heheh, see, Captain really likes plain girls. You're even flat-chested! Perfect!" Bepo added.

"God damn it shut up!" Law blushed slightly and swung his sword at his subordinate. He huffed and started walking.

"They'd only get in the way during a fight anyway." Zoro responded, following after Law.

Bepo gleefully skipped up and whispered something into Law's ear. Law stopped walking and frowned at the bear but sighed.

"Well if we're going to do this, might as well do it correctly." He then offered his arm to her. She raised an eyebrow.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Just hold my arm." He told her.

"Why?"

"It's a sign of… intimacy…" Law muttered, carefully looking straight ahead. Zoro raised her eyebrows.

"Like kissing?"

"Kissing? Not that far! You're quite naïve, aren't you, Zoro-ya."

"Well you haven't been on a date either." Zoro shot back.

"So?! That doesn't mean anything! I just choose not to! A pirate captain has to be careful! Who knows what woman is going to try to cut me when I let my guard down around her!" Law returned.

"Wouldn't that mean I could just stab you in the back too?" Zoro questioned, slipping her arm around his, bringing the two of them much closer than before. Law glanced at her then away quickly.

"Perhaps." He responded simply. Bepo grinned wildly at the two and pushed them forward.

"I think we can trust you. Usually only beautiful and sexy women are the ones who seduce and backstab. You seem like the type that would just attack us straight on if you wanted to." Bepo added.

"Eh, I guess that's true. I don't need to be underhanded to kick both your asses." Zoro replied, causing Law to chuckle.

"Well hopefully we'll have that attitude of yours on our side when we get to the auction." Law mused.

AN: And Law enters the scene :)

Please excuse the cliche set ups, this is a comedy after all~ And on that note, I feel like 99% of you all understand this, but just in case, the views/opinions expressed by the characters in this story are purely for comedic effect and do not mirror the thoughts and opinions of the writer ~