Chapter 8
Walls
After that night, the Queen simply could not help herself. She would sneak glances at the woman, who had chosen to stay, even when threatened to be turned into a meal. She would watch through her mirror as she transformed into her beautiful human self every night and then slept by the lake. What really tore at the Queen's heart was the way Miss Swan looked at the moon; it was as if she were begging it to stay forever.
One of those nights in which the Queen settled on her bed to watch the woman, she was surprised by what she saw. The breathtaking woman had been strong for too long and finally broke down and as she sobbed, Regina saw how another white feather darkened.
The Evil Queen was not one to deprive herself of what she wanted. She always got what she desired, one way or another and that night she wanted to visit Swan.
She wanted to touch her, to have Swan's head on her lap and run her fingers through the silky golden hair. She wanted Miss Swan to finish what she had started all those nights ago. She hadn't forgotten Miss Swan's smell or how her lips had burned when their mouths had been a breath apart.
Regina used magic to appear at the lake and she slowly walked close to the woman that had apparently cried herself to sleep. She quietly made her way to the woman and bent her knees to get a closer look. She was on her side, right at the edge of the water. The Queen noticed even asleep, tears still spilled from her eyes and she sobbed quietly. She touched Swan softly, running her fingers down the woman's face. The woman's hand raised and magic blasted the Evil Queen backwards only stopping when her black collided with a nearby tree. The Queen growled at the pain and scowled at the woman whose eyes had just opened.
"You say you do not wish to die, yet you do this to me?" The Queen said in a growl-like voice, standing and magically taking the pain away from her back. The other woman stood, taking in the once again nightgown clad Queen.
Regina awaited an answer, but she could not shake the thought that she had not expected that behavior. She had been asleep…maybe she had not meant to hurt the Queen. Maybe swans don't like to be touched.
What bothered the Evil Queen the most was that the woman simply looked at her, and then away. Not an ounce of an apology or regret on her face. The woman just stared at the moon.
Anger swelled up inside the Queen.
"Look at me and tell me what the hell just happened!" She demanded, her yells making the blonde flinch.
"Leave me." Was Swan's only answer. Then she sat at a log and even though she faced Regina, she didn't look at her, she looked at the sky.
Regina took a deep, even breath. She wanted to kill the woman as much as she wanted to comfort her. Reason taking over her, she simply opted for sitting next to the golden haired beauty.
Regina looked at her, thinking that maybe it would make her uncomfortable and make her talk, but she got nothing. Emma didn't look at Regina for she had chosen to close her heart to the woman, but Regina could see right through her. Swan's walls were as high as the ocean was deep, but the Queen's decision to help her and get her through this had the exact same intensity. She'd bring down those walls if it were the last thing she were to do.
"Swan," She tried, reaching to touch the woman's shoulder, but she shrugged her off.
Emma knew that with just one word or even a touch she would break down and she was not letting that happen again. She was not weak; she was not a damsel in distress. She would save herself and that's how it had to be.
Regina felt even more anger boiling inside her. How dare she resist the Queen?
"I know what you are doing, Miss Swan." She began. "You are putting up walls, pushing me away." She finished in a whisper. Then with a smirk she added, "I am going to destroy those walls and when I do, I'm going to show you that I can help you. I'm going to save what's left of you, Miss Swan." Regina said and even though it was no sinister plan, it sounded like a threat. To her surprise, a black feather of the many, many that had grown fell onto the ground. The woman looked at the fallen feather and then at the Queen, finally.
"What was that?" The Evil Queen asked as the emerald eyes looking back at her were full of surprise. Swan must have realized what she did and looked away again. "I'm trying to help you, Swan. Answer me! " She yelled finally losing her cool and using magic to force the woman's body closer and her eyes to her own.
Emma just stared into furious deep brown eyes and hoped to hear that voice one more time. Even if it yelled at her. Regina's voice calmed her, made her feel serene. Only the Queen's presence made her feel at peace. She wondered was touching her would do.
Using magic of her own, she liberated herself and looked down at her chest and waist, where the feathers had begun to gather. Then she began to count.
"Thirty-six" whispered Emma, looking at the Evil Queen, whose eyebrows relaxed and then furrowed in confusion
The Queen looked at beautiful Swan with sad eyes, not understanding what she was to do about this situation. Why had the other fallen and how did she make the rest fall as well?
"Swan, I—What the hell are you doing?" She exclaimed as Emma began to pull at the black feathers, screaming in pain. Blood ran down under her breasts and waist continuing its journey down her body. The Queen didn't know what to do; she just watched Swan scream in pain. Regina reached forward; trying to pry the woman's hand from another pair of feathers, but the other woman stood and shook her head.
"I—I cannot let them grow any longer." She sobbed, looking down at the black feathers in her hands and at the ones she had pulled out. tried to stop the swan from pulling her beautiful feathers. The Queen could hear the clinking and rubbing of armor for her guards must have heard the screams.
"This is not the way, Miss Swan." Regina whispered, standing and taking the other woman's bloody hands. "Look at you, you're drenched in blood." The Queen tried to clean everything with her magic, but to her surprise, the magic did not work on her. When Regina looked back into the woman's green eyes, she saw they had turned angry.
"Do not touch me! I don't need your pity. Your Majesty. I can do this…I can do it on my own." She spit at the Evil Queen, shaking her hands off.
"Just what the hell is wrong with you? Do you think the Evil Queen just helps everyone that stumbles into her castle? DO YOU THINK I DO THIS FOR OTHER PEOPLE?!" The Queen all but yelled at the woman, whose response to the Queen's growls was a flinch.
"With a name like that who in their right minds would think you'd be helping people? Of course I know you do not give away charity. I hear the screams of the many men and women you torture and kill, Your Majesty." Swan said, smirking savagely at the Queen, who glared harder, stealing a glance at her castle. "Yes, I know exactly who you are. I am no fool, which is why I know you cannot help me. You cannot help someone you do not understand." The Queen's eyes softened and with them, Emma's heart. She could see Regina was just trying to help her. Perhaps she felt the same way about her. She had gone every day to see her, even if they did not speak. That had to mean something.
"Then make me understand." Regina whispered. "I want to know what happened to you, who you are. I want to help you." Emma hated that Regina got through to her with her soft-raspy voice and her engaging eyes. Regina was no good at putting up walls when it came to Emma, but neither was Emma when it came to Regina.
She tried one last time.
"I do not need you, Your Majesty." Emma said. The Queen nodded and stepped closer, taking Emma in. The Swan just could not breathe.
"No, Miss Swan, but maybe I need you." The Evil Queen whispered, her lips just a breath away from Emma's. "Help me understand. Help me understand you so that we shall destroy this curse, Miss Swan." Regina said again in a harder tone, not taking Emma's lies anymore.
Emma reached for Regina's hand and put it on her chest.
"Pull one." She instructed. The Queen shook her head, but Emma insisted. "All magic comes at a price. A little bit of pain from me will be enough make you understand. You must know it will hurt…when you know everything." Emma warned, but Regina's mind was made up.
Regina took hold of a black feather and looked into Emma's emerald eyes, pulling at it. Emma moaned in pain as the thing was stripped from her already sore flesh. More blood ran down her body as well as Regina's hand.
"And now?" The Queen questioned handing over the feather.
"Give me your wrist." The Queen obeyed.
Emma pressed her forehead to the other woman's as she looked down at the wrist she held. Regina looked at Swan, admiring how beautiful she was, how close she was.
"I'm sorry." Emma whispered, glancing into Regina's eyes and then back down at the wrist, pressing the feather into Regina's skin.
"Ah! Oh, Swan!" Regina said, the pain making her knees weak. "What are you doing to me?" She whispered, looking down at her wrist. The feather was becoming part of her skin, curving into her flesh; a tattoo.
"Now you will know what I've felt and feel what I will feel every day after this night." Emma whispered, panting with the pain she had also felt.
The Evil Queen stepped back, feeling her heart beat harder and faster with the rush of emotions running through her. Now they were linked, connected in a way no one else would be and it gave them both a feeling of euphoria.
The only way they stayed on their feet was by holding onto each other.
"Who are you?" The Queen demanded breathlessly, her forehead against Emma's. "Tell me why I feel like this."
"I cannot answer that." Swan answered, pulling away. The Queen looked down at her wrist and saw the feather, dark and stunning against her olive skin. "Perhaps you should ask the beast that did this to me, you know who he is." Regina looked up at Miss Swan and narrowed her eyes.
"He has done much more than curse you," She whispered, getting closer. "And I'm going to find out everything." She stared at Swan intensely. "Do you have anything to tell me?"
Emma shook her head. She was not going to tell Regina the truth. How would she react? Would she actually throw her out of her castle?
"No." She answered just before the Queen disappeared.
Regina stood in her chamber, clutching at her heart. The pain was back now, pain that Miss Swan must be feeling.
Her eyes filled with tears that, she had no doubt, were the ones Swan was shedding.
The Evil Queen does not cry, she reminded herself.
But she does kill and a certain imp just made the top of my list.
She looked at her mirror and raised a hand, but thought against it. No, she was not going to speak to him through her mirror. That was too good for him.
"Rumpelstiltskin, Rumpelstiltskin, Rumpelstiltskin! ", chanted the Queen with anger.
"Well, hello, dearie!" The beast exclaimed. The Queen glared, nearing him.
"Tell me everything you know about the Swan Princess in my lake, Rumple." The Evil Queen drawled, circling the little man.
"Oh, dearie, but you already know everything. A swan during the day and a woman during night, Your Majesty. Quite simple, is it not?" He said, flashing his wrecked teeth.
"Oh, yes, but I mean where did you find her? Who are her parents? How old is she and why the hell does she possess magic more powerful than my own?" She questioned the man, stopping at his side.
"Well, because the Swan out there is the one and only product of True Love. The truest love of all the realms, dearie." Regina was breathless. Could it be? "She has lived seventeen springs, dearie…just a girl about to come of age." Rumpelstiltskin answered, his terrible eyes sparkling as he giggled and bounced on his feet.
The Queen stood in front of him.
"I cursed the golden haired girl at the age of fifteen. Should I keep hinting, dearie? I believe you already know that woman out there is the little one you once stole." Regina couldn't bear to listen to him anymore. It couldn't be true.
"No." She whispered, looking at herself in her mirror and at the feather on her wrist. "NO!"
That was Emma, her Emma. And she was going to die! The Queen was supposed to die before her, this was NOT how she planned little Emma's life to be.
She had not planned the things she felt for her either.
"That cannot be true! That Swan is a woman! She is not seventeen years old." She said to the imp, her face merely inches from his horrible one.
He shrugged comically.
"For her to become the gorgeous white swan, her body needed to resemble the woman she was to be. Do not fret, dearie. She is just like you, beautiful forever." He whispered. "She will never age…if she lives that is." He added, waving his hands around.
The Evil Queen's eyes filled with tears of pure fury as he hand clutched her chest, above her heart.
"What will save her?" She whispered and got no response, but a smirk. "TELL ME IMP!" She yelled, causing him to close his eyes and flinch.
He giggled and stepped back.
"You Majesty, how about a deal?" Rumpelstiltskin asked, bouncing with excitement.
"What is it you desire, Beast?" She asked, completely ready to do anything to save the girl she held so dear in her heart.
"If she lives, she must give me her first and last feather. They are different for the first is as golden as her hair and the second as black as your heart." He said, pointing in the direction of Regin's hand. She quickly removed it.
"Deal." She accepted. "Now tell me."
"The Dark Swan shall rise if her feathers keep darkening, dearie. After her feathers reach below the waist, she will begin to weaken. Her hair will become as white as snow and her eyes the darkest green. The woman you know will die and only darkness will live inside that body, darkness that I will absorb and use for myself. If this happens, I will become the most powerful Dark One. However, since you want to stop my fun….The only thing that can save her is a kiss of True Love."
"You twisted little imp." She spit, shaking with anger. Her brown eyes looked into his, letting him know exactly what she felt for him. "You are lucky you keep that dagger of yours safe because if I ever found it, I would run it. Through. You." She threatened, again with her face inches from his.
He mocked being hurt, placing a hand above his heart.
"Is there someone she loves? A person that can kiss her to undo your curse?" She asked, straightening and looking at herself in the mirror. She was pretty much naked in front of the imp, but she did not care. He never cared to look, either.
"I'm sure she does, Your Majesty. " Rumpelstiltskin whispered, looking into the Queen's eyes through the mirror.
The he disappeared into his own castle. He giggled and sat on his wheel, beginning to spin.
Everything was going exactly as he planned.