In which Lucifer finds out Anna is a fictional sister. Ella learns more about Hell and Lucifer's shitty life.

Episode Ten – Heaven and Hell

Ella was on the couch by the time he got in. He had been running late due to an interview he had been dragged into that afternoon with Chloe. The Detective saw fit to knock off work at 5 instead of 3 because Dan had the small human that night. He forgot they switched weekends with the child. So, he had to work the whole shift like most humans, because of being in the middle of a case.

She grinned widely at him. "Part 2, dude! Come on over here and sit down. I got it ready to go."

He glanced at the screen on his television and grinned widely back. Oh yes, this was hopefully going to be as fun as the last episode. And he'll find out how Anna ends up surviving, because he knew she would somehow.

He flopped himself down next to her, grabbed the remote she nicely left on the coffee table for him and pushed play on the episode named Heaven and Hell.

"Ooh, do we actually get to see in canon Heaven and Hell in this episode, outside Dean's five seconds chained up shot of it. Which, by the way, is highly inaccurate unless that happened to him before he died."

Sh winced at that. "Yeah, memories, got it. Eww. Now I'm imagining that actually happening to him and ugh, nope."

He grinned and nodded. "Yep, my thoughts exactly."

He paused it pretty damn quick. "Wait...they consider Anna worse than a demon?! What is this girl?"

Ella shifted beside him "Just watch, Lucifer..."

He stared at her. "Ooh, you don't want to answer. This is more than spoilers. You're afraid of my reaction."

She sighed. "Just...watch it, Lucifer."

He shrugged and did as she said, turning it back on.

He blinked at the screen during the title sequence. "Wait, did she just banish angels like they were demons? Did she send angels back to Heaven? How?"

Ella sighed. "Angel Banishing sigil."

He chuckled at that. "Yeah bet that would work just as well as the demon traps. Not at all."

She grinned at him. "I bet."

He laughed at Sam's "Dean, you're confusing real life with porn again" line, because he could totally see Dean doing that.

He grinned widely at Pamela being alive and well and commenting that Sam's arse was tight enough to bounce a nickel off.

He paused it again when Anna said she was an angel. He frowned. "Wait... she's an angel other angels want dead for being an abomination worse than a demon? Wow, they don't even think that badly of me! Harsh. And why the memory problems?"

"Oh, you find that out soon enough. And yeah I thought you would freak when you found out she was an angel."

He blinked at her with a confused frown. "Why? And who is Anna anyway? Anael?"

Ella shook her head. "Nope. Anna is apparently just Anna. That's her human name anyway. She goes by that the entire time she's in it. Oh, and Anael actually turns up in season 13. And is a totally different angel. And helps you out a bit too for that matter. Smart cookie, she is."

He grinned. "Aww, nice to know my sister has my back. Wait, she's not evil is she?"

She shook her head. "Nah, just pragmatic. She does what is best for her, even if the best is to be close to you."

"Huh, okay."

He pushed play again, feeling better about where this was going. Now she remembers she's an angel she can... he paused it again. "Wait. She's human! She aged like a human, if she had an actually childhood."

Ella nodded. "Yep, keep on watching, Lucifer."

He sighed. "You're saying that a lot this episode."

She grinned at him. "No spoilers on major plot points from yesterday on, remember?"

He moaned, but pushed play again. "Yeah yeah, I remember..."

He paused it again after hearing she disobeyed and winced. "Ouch. Oh, poor Anna."

"I'm guessing that little worse thing you can do is true then?"

He nodded. "Oh yeah, I said no to Dad and got thrown in Hell for it. I would hate to see what would happen to an angel that said the same thing after me. I wouldn't be surprised that there is a death sentence hanging over her head. Mum told me there may have been one over mine. I didn't believe her at the time and still don't but...my punishment was severe enough as is and Hell only needs one ruler..."

"Then what to do with those who disobey afterwards. Ouch, yeah, I see whee you're coming from. That sucks."

"Welcome to my crappy family life. But hey, they got something right, yay..." he pushed play, before Ella could say anything else.

He paused it after the talk between Sam and Ruby about Anna. "Wait, so she ripped out what made her an angel and she became the baby? I...don't understand this at all. That's not how miracle babies work. Or angels for that matter. We just are as much as humans just are."

Ella shrugged. "Yeah, that one never made much sense to me either. And since an angel is their grace in this show, you'd think ripping it out would kill them. But if an angel is in a vessel, they can survive and become human with the body if the Grace is taken out. If the Grace is destroyed though, the angel dies."

He nodded at that. "Okay, that made sense, it's just the miracle baby thing that doesn't."

She patted him on the shoulder. "I know, man, I know."

He pushed play again.

And he paused it again not soon after. "Wait, these angels apparently don't feel things? But.. wait, on the Halloween episode Castiel said he felt doubt. So Heaven has literally put a ban on emotions, here? Like, it's become immoral to feel anything other than what they're told. Wow. That's just...wow, so wrong."

"Oh yeah, angels can totally feel, it's just not really allowed much. It really sucks. Any angel that falls in this show falls because they feel too much and can't just go back."

Another point hit him and it hit hard. "Wait, angels can't have sex in this universe?!"

She laughed and slapped him gently on the shoulder. "Trust you to go there. They can have sex...if they are in a vessel and aren't afraid of being cut off and falling. Because sex without another meaning behind it and just for fun is not a good thing. That doesn't stop angels from having sex though. Two angels in the show are well known for it, actually."

He perked up at that. "Oh, good." He clicked the play button, hoping to get more than five minutes in the episode this time.

Oddly, he felt the need to fast forward through Dean and Anna having sex. It took him a bit to realise that was his stupid emotions and brain mucking up. Instead he looked away. Maybe he should have made popcorn for tonight too, so he could occupy himself with something other than Dean having sex with his fictional sister that didn't even exist.

"Dude, this is seriously bugging you out. Hah!" Ella stated, a grin on her face.

"Shut up! It's like watching a sibling having sex with someone you really don't like. It's gross. I am not watching that."

She snorted, but got the hint and stayed quiet. He didn't look back to the screen again until after the sub par sex music was finished with.

He didn't stop the program again for quite a while after that, getting into it. Though he did like that Sam decided the best thing to do was use Ruby to get the demons there, while Dean got the angels there and make them fight each other. That was a good, solid, Sam plan.

He did pause it again right near the end though, curious to know if Dean talks about Hell or not, but right before finding out to point at the screen, smiling widely and shouted out a loud "Hah! See, this is why I like Sam better than Dean. He actually listens and decides to allow Dean his privacy when it comes to things like talking of Hell, but with Dean, he can't stand not knowing and guilt's Sam into talking about everything he doesn't want to talk about."

Ella smacked him in the shoulder again. "Shut up and turn it on. I want to see how accurate this next bit is."

That got his attention and without any further talk, he pushed the play button to finish the episode.

After the conversation was over, he turned it off. "Okay, what parts are you interested in?"

"Not the whole torture thing, I get how that's different for everyone and a demon's job, not a human soul's. No, it is more the time difference I'm interested in. In this 4 months equates 40 years. Is that accurate?"

He grinned and couldn't help but laugh, before shaking his head. "Nope."

Ella's face look relieved. "So the times are the same then?"

He grinned at her, and he could feel the look in his eyes disputed that well enough. Thinking about it too hard sometimes was enough to make him never want to go back, even to escape the mundane human life he has started for himself up here on Earth.

"Nope, the time difference is further apart. 40 years in hell would be 40 seconds on Earth. The true time difference is a year to every second."

She looked at him horrified. "How often did you get out for breaks? I know you must have.."

He shrugged. "Once every decade or so human time on Earth. Sometimes longer, depending on if things were busy or not. And they usually were. Down in Hell, I don't generally look like this all the time. I have another face under this one, which is where the stories of the Devil having red skin comes from. Except the truth is more that I don't have skin any longer. I never healed skin back again after the Fall. The red skin I supposedly have isn't skin. It's muscle. Tissue. You see bits of bone in some places. It is not pretty and generally can drive people insane..."

"That...holy shit, I am so sorry!"

He shrugged. "Eh, I'm used to it, but up here I can wear my old shape, my true form, and be happy. Up here, I can be seen and not have people scream in terror. I can do things I can't when not looking like this. My times out of Hell were filled with as much sex as I could possibly have in a day or so's time, because that was all the time I got before someone came and fetched me right back to Hell."

She covered her mouth. "Oh shit, that's right, you have all the working pats just like a human does. Losing all skin would mean..."

He grimaced at her. "Yep. And may I say owwwwwwww. I tried once. I couldn't even..."

She held up a hand to stop him talking. "Yeah I get it. Damaged muscles."

"Yep. Which means no fun."

She nodded and got up. "I need to go home now and just...not think for a while."

He nodded. "Yeah. I need to get my extraordinarily perfect arse downstairs for a set I have in half an hour. So, good luck with your not thinking. I have a show to do."

She grinned at him, but the look for once didn't seem very happy. "Yeah. Bye."

"See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, tomorrow..."

He waited until the lift had come back up before getting in it and going down to the club.

He had the feeling she wouldn't show up for work tomorrow.

Headcanon - Chloe generally works weekdays from 9-3, so she can get off work to pick up Trixie from school. On days she knows she will be late she either sends Dan, or gets one of Trixie's friends' parents drive her back home and stay over until she gets home. No school bus for this young lady.

Headcanon - Incest is one of the biggest squicks Lucifer has. It falls even onto fictional brothers and sisters :P

Headcanon - The adults in that conversation Lucifer has about his parents saying or wanting him dead was actually reversed. I headcanon God did throw him to Hell, but to keep him safe from his mother, who was pissed off about something he did when he questioned his father. His mother told him it was the other way around to get close to him again and keep him second guessing and hating his father so her plan to overthrow Heaven succeeded.

Headcanon - Lucifer while in his devil form can't have sex because his penis was also damaged and is just as scarred as the rest of him. Ouch. No, I don't believe he made himself into that, mainly because that was a retcon and I go with what the show originally gave us. Lucifer did not think himself a monster until after he killed Uriel. which means the Fall caused that damage and it is his main form while in Hell.