This is a bad chapter when it comes to Dean. I don't believe most of the things Lucifer says about Dean in this episode. This is Lucifer venting. Also, due to the nature of the episode, trigger warning for Incest.

Episode Eleven – Family Remains

He was right in that Ella didn't appear at work, instead calling in sick. Though he knew she would be there that night, same as always, because she made a bet and she would stick it through with him.

Nothing bad had happened anyway, she had just needed the day off to think and get rid of any bad feelings. Or at least, that's what he figured out from what little he knew of human emotions. But as it was, he was right about that. He got home from the police station to Ella dressed in her Sunday best. He had forgotten in his enthusiasm to watch more that she was dragging him to church on Sunday nights.

She grinned softly at him. "Sorry. But I promised my priest I would introduce you to him tonight. Don't make me be a liar now, Lucifer."

He groaned, but went with her anyway. Why he had waited until the evening instead of going during the day, even though she had the day off was beyond his reasoning.

Unless she had done it for him, which was slightly frightening. Slightly.

Father Maloney though had been very wary around him, as he smiled widely at him while Ella introduced him. Seriously, it looked like the guy was going to ask him why he hadn't burst into flames as soon as he had entered the church.

It came to no surprise when he did ask how he managed to get himself into the House of God. His answer was a little bit smart, but true.

"Padre, this is a church. Worship dad all you want, but don't call it his house. It's not. Trust me, I lived there for a while until I was kicked out for saying no. If this was his house, I wouldn't be here, even with Ella trying to dragging me."

Ella had hit him on the arm as she was fond of doing lately and he grinned at her. "Lucifer, be nice."

"I am nice! Just because the truth is too hard to swallow for some doesn't make it any less the truth."

That was obviously when he was called the father of lies. He left in a foul mood after that. Ella dogging his footsteps, as he had driven them there that night.

Now they were once again sitting on his couch with the next episode ready to play. "Family remains? I'm guessing this is a ghost episode."

Ella grinned widely at him and he was glad to see she wasn't angry with him for cutting the so called intro short. "This is much more than a simple ghost story. This is actually a pretty damn spooky episode for us poor humans for reasons that will become apparent later on."

He was intrigued by that as he picked up the remote. "ooh, this sounds interesting then." He pushed play.

He was slightly annoyed by Dean working them both to the bone, but he understood why he was doing it, as it was a trait he shared with Dean. Drowning out bad things by doing good things you enjoy. Dean enjoyed the job and killing things. Lucifer enjoyed parties, drinking and sex.

He still felt like he had better coping skills, as he couldn't get drunk, therefore could he even be considered an alcoholic? Huh, he'd have to ask Linda next appointment.

Would he go through withdrawal if he stopped drinking...?

He didn't stop it for quite a while, actually, as it focused more on the bit characters, there was little for the boys to actually do. And there was a lot of episode, or so it seemed, that focused on these people from the family moving into the farm house.

He stopped it during the conversation the husband and wife were having, about hoping it a better year. He frowned at the screen and paused the program. "Wait, I know, no spoilers for big things but... what happened here? Not necessarily this family, I mean the last one? I know this one had some tragedy happen but... I suddenly feel like the reason the daughter of the old man at the start committed suicide was a damn good reason for wanting to die."

Ella grinned at him. "Yep, spoilers. On the upside, this is a one shot and all will be revealed in all it's gory detail later. Just keep on watching, Lucifer."

He nodded and pointed the remote at the screen. He lowered it again. "No, wait, what did happen to this new family, and did they know about the murder of the guy who lived there before them? I mean, it's a locked room mystery to these humans. And there's... OH. Oh that is clever..."

Ella laughed and shook her head. "Yeah, I think yo just figured something out there. Can we get back to it now, please? Before I die of old age by the time we get to the end of the show?"

He poked out his tongue at her, but pushed play again.

He paused again when Dean threatened to shoot the uncle to keep him with the rest of the family with a gun he didn't even have. "Oh yeah, Dean needs to kept well away from guns right now. I would not put it past him to start murdering people for pissing him off."

Ella glared at him. "Seriously dude, what?! Dean wouldn't do something like that!"

He raised an eyebrow at him. "I am betting there is at least one scene that proves he would."

She shut up at that one and shook her head. Meaning he was more than likely right. Yeah, his main problem with Dean is he was basically a psychopath with a mission. And the mission has nothing to do with killing ghosts or anything supernatural, no. It was the one lesson drilled into him from 4 years old. Protect Sam.

That was the one thing keeping Dean from going dark side. If he stopped going through what he considers a responsibility, he'd be a psycho killer...

"Ugh, Dean makes me angry. I know his type and they all end up in Hell."

Ella glared at him and punched his arm. He was so glad he had not invited the Detective to share in these nightly episodes. He'd lose an arm by the end of a bad Dean episode.

He pushed play to switch her anger on something else.

He paused it again when everyone got out of the house after the girl attacked and he stared. "Oh, wow. Huh. That is a twist. I mean I guessed the girl was a kid of the daughter who hung herself, but I didn't think she was alive because of how pale and washed out she was. She's been living in the walls. Oh! Sealed off dumb waiter. I feel like an idiot..."

Ella snorted. "Hah, good."

He pouted at her then pushed play again.

He paused it again when he found out that the dad of the girl is also her grandfather. "Oh, oh no. Have I mentioned that I have a squick a mile wide about incest? It's big. Especially with that thing with my mum going on about sex and... Yeah, no. I understand the whole creepy thing now. That...that is just not right and I feel ill now."

Ella stared at him. 'Shit, I forgot you said that about your mom, how she'd tell you about her sexual exploits. That's just... so wrong. Is this triggering you or something?"

He shook his head. "No, not so much as the whole Uriel thing. Or Dean calling his mum sexy. They were more triggery. This is just a huge no, makes me extremely uncomfortable and glad I didn't end up like the daughter in this episode. Knowing my luck, Mum might have tried..."

Ella stared at him in horror. "Holy shit. I am so sorry. Want to stop or keep going?"

He shook his head. "I'm fine, let's keep going."

She nodded as he pushed play again.

He turned it off to stare at the screen in horror. "Oh dad no. There's two of them? And there's a boy and a girl and...oh, I am getting a drink, before I throw up."

Ella giggled at him. "That really is some squick you got going there."

He glared at her. "Shut up." He got on his feet and made his way to his bar, pouring himself a tumbler full of scotch. He took a big gulp of it, before going back to the couch. He brought the bottle with him, just in case.

He pushed play, wanting to get the rest of this over with as soon as possible.

Once the episode was over, he turned it off and thought about that last scene, shaking his head. "I have no doubt in my mind he enjoyed it. None. He's the kind of person who would. And he's not enjoying it because he was able to turn the pain of Hell into pleasure to torture and kill, he's doing it because it is what he has always done and enjoyed. Dean is a killer. Only morals drummed into his head as a kid telling him to protect others is what saves them from being just as dead as the supernatural creatures."

Ella hit him again much harder than before. "Dude, no."

He glared at her. 'Yes. He's Supernaturals version of Dexter, the so called good serial killer, because he only kills criminals himself.

Ella got up then. "Nope, I'm going home because I don't want you saying anything more mean about Dean tonight."

He shrugged "That's your choice. Night."

She nodded at him but didn't say any parting words. Instead she just turned around and walked into the lift.

Now, this time he worried she wouldn't be back tomorrow night.

Note - I don't agree with most of what Lucifer says about Dean in this episode. This is Lucifer venting through a bad night.

Note - I also don't think Lucifer's mum would have done anything sexual to Lucifer.

Headcanon - Lucifer lies about not being triggered because he doesn't understand what a trigger is. It is why he ends up getting into a fight with Ella about Dean at the end. And him needing to drink to get through the episode even outside that.