Kikyo is dead.
It was his fault. He should have protected her.
Kikyo…I'm sorry! I should have been there for you, you're dead because of me!
Inuyasha was in a daze. The others spoke quietly as they stayed behind him, their voices a soft murmur against his ears, but for once his sensitive hearing didn't register what they were saying. He didn't care to listen, he felt numb. Everything was numb.
Kikyo is dead.
They'd been chasing her for almost a month, ever since she'd convinced Kohaku to come away with her. She'd made herself a target by taking the kid. Naraku had already been after her anyway, but by bringing Kohaku and his shards along with her she'd pretty much drawn all of that bastard's attention to herself. Inuyasha tried to reach her, a whole month tracking her through the mountains…but he didn't make it in time.
Kikyo, what were you thinking?! Kohaku was safe with us! Why did you take him with you on your own?
The boy was missing. She'd hid him before Naraku arrived, just in time to pay for it with her life. Now they were running through the hills again, racing to rescue Sango's little brother before that monster found him. But for Kikyo it was too late…
Kikyo is dead.
It wasn't like the first time. The first time he'd been pinned to that damned tree, he didn't even realize that she had died until fifty years later. They'd been so angry at each other, both of them made fools by Naraku…not this time.
The events of three days ago echoed across his mind once again. They'd arrived in the valley, Naraku's miasma suddenly appearing out of nowhere. He was damaged, Kikyo'd wounded him, but not as bad as he'd wounded her. The group managed to chase him off, but it was still too late.
Inuyasha had held the dying miko in his arms, she'd looked at him and smiled.
"You came for me."
But not in time.
His resolve had been broken, he sobbed like a child. Kikyo had only given him that loving look, the same that she'd used to so many years ago…her soft lips brushed gently against his one last time, and then she exhaled her last breath…
For the next three days he'd been numb. Only vaguely aware of everyone else's presence, the same thought kept echoing in his mind, tormenting him with his failure:
Kikyo is dead.
Kikyo is dead!
KIKYO IS-
"Inuyasha?" A soft voice broke through his haze, like the first rays of dawn through the mist. Slowly he looked up.
"…Kagome." The young girl was staring at him, as though she were waiting for an answer. She must've asked him something, but he hadn't been listening. What did she want?
"Here," she tried to hand him something. It was ramen. "You haven't eaten in three days, I thought you might like this." He stared at the steaming bowl as though he were looking at nothing.
"I'm not that hungry," He mumbled and looked away, "You can have it." Her hand brushed gently against his, and suddenly he was the one holding the noodles.
"We've still got a long way to go, you need to keep your strength up…she would want you to eat." There was none of the usual argument in her voice. Inuyasha looked back and was almost surprised at what he saw in her eyes.
Grief?
Kagome was grieving?
For him?
The past three days had been a blur, but now that he thought about it he remembered that there was always a soft presence nearby. Someone quietly watching out for him, someone always trying to get him to eat, someone offering him a blanket at night, yet still giving him space and letting him silently grieve…it was Kagome. She'd kept her distance, but she'd never left his side.
And she was grieving too? But why?
Before he could say anything, she'd turned to go help Sango and Rin settle down for the night. There was no mistaking it though, from the way her shoulders slumped to the faint scent of saltwater from her unshed tears: Kagome was in pain.
Perhaps as much as him. And he never noticed until just now.
Quietly he began to eat the noodles.