This fic is now in hiatus until after NaNo or until I catch up with Book of Names.
Episode Twenty Three – Sympathy for the Devil
Lucifer had decided to take Friday off from his watch of Supernatural and spent the whole night in the club, living as much as he could vicariously through other people before he got into fictional him in the show. And since fictional him just got released from his prison cell in Hell, things were definitely looking like they would take off hard and fast and not in any way that is good or fun.
He knew right off the bat he was going to hate his fictional Supernatural counterpart, simply because he is the big bad guy of the season. He held out hope that by the end, fictional him was back in the box and not out and about on Earth.
It made a different change to real life, that was sure, in which things were the other way around.
Also, he was fed up of having to think fictional in front of his own pronouns and name.
Ella was there with the season 5 box set in her hand ready to go. The first disc had been inserted and he was staring at an unnamed episode. He blinked. "Uh, it's not telling me anything."
She grinned. "Here."
She handed him a paper pamphlet that showed the episode title and pouted. "Why? The other seasons had them on the actual episodes in the menu. This is stupid. Also, the episode is called Sympathy for the Devil. I hate it already."
Ella laughed at that one. "Yeah, I figured you would. Come on, push play already!"
With a moan of defeat, he hit the play button, hoping this would at least be entertaining.
He watched the beginning scenes with fictional him getting out of Hell and couldn't help it. He grinned. "Hah! I am massive and impressive even as a being made of pure light and Grace. I am awesome to behold. Also, how is Dean and everyone on that plane still living, or if living have eyes?"
Ella blinked, stared at Dean looking directly at the huge column of light that was fictional him rising from the convent and frowned. "Huh. I have no idea, but yeah. Also everyone else in the town and surrounding areas for that matter. Wow, I never thought of that."
He chuckled. "Well, now you are. And my fictional death count has started already, just by escaping the box. And do you have any idea how much it sucks to have to put fictional in front of your own name? This is my life."
She snorted and giggled into her hands, before patting him on the shoulder and urging him to push play again.
He did so, actually interested in what was to happen. After all, right now fictional he had no vessel and was just floating around earth trying to find one.
He paused it again once he found out Castiel had been blown up by archangel and turned into soup. "Well, that sucks. And is also very gross."
Ella nodded. "Oh yeah, poor Cass has it bad in this show too."
He smirked. "Of course. He is with the Winchesters."
She punched him on the shoulder, but at least this time she was grinning while she did it. "Shut up and push play already."
He pushed play for a short time, only to stop it again when the angels arrived. He blinked at the screen. "Huh. So, when did Chuck start knowing when angels were near?"
Ella shrugged. "It's probably from meeting the archangel on babysitting duty and not of any choice on his part. Being around angels tends to set off an alarm in a prophet's head. They just know things. Which is, if you think about it, the entire point of a prophet."
He gave her that one. "Huh, true. Okay, that makes sense."
He pushed play again.
He stopped it again very shortly after to glare at the vessel of Zachariah. He was really beginning to hate that guy. "I'm sorry, did he just blame Sam for the apocalypse? Yep, I knew it. it's already started. Not only is Dean going to blame the shit out of him, even though he is the one that kick-started it so that the apocalypse could start in the first place, but now everyone else on this planet is going to blame him for it. I hate this show and the way it craps all over Sam when things aren't his fault."
This time the punch to his shoulder was harder and it came with no added smile. "Shut up and push play."
He rolled his eyes but did as he was told. He was already majorly pissed off with the direction this season was going.
He paused it again after Nick was visited by a woman with blood on her face after some very vivid hallucinations. "Wait, was the woman fictional me?"
Ella snorted at him adding on the fictional, but he guessed he would just have to get used to that. "Yep."
He nodded. "So Nick is his vessel then. Huh, okay. What was with the blood in the bed?"
"You will learn that very shortly when next we see him. You've got to remember angels have to test and woo their vessels into saying yes. Fictional Lucifer uses psychological torture to get his vessel to say yes. That and using that silver tongue of his."
Lucifer perked up. "Ooh, do you think I have a silver tongue thing? I can get away with a lot, after all."
Ella wiggled a hand in front of her. "Eh, I don' know if I would call it a silver tongue more than people just automatically feel like telling you things, because of your whole desire mojo making them want to bare all."
He grinned at that. "Ooh, do I get to see you bare all?"
She smacked him across the top of his head with a loud laugh. "You little devil. Come on, put the show back on."
He turned back toward the television and hit play once again.
He paused it when Becky refused to stop touching Sam even after he asked her to. "Bad touch. Stop bad touching Sam. Also why is her username Samlicker? That's...no. Also did she just orgasm while touching him? Just by touching him? I don't like this Becky. I think fictional me psychologically torturing someone is more polite than Becky sexually harassing Sam."
Ella grinned. "Oh, trust me, things with Becky get worse. And I mean way worse. You'll hate her later on. Thankfully, way later on."
He nodded. "I somehow don't doubt it."
He paused it at Bobby disowning Sam and just stared. "Okay, demon or angel, because that right there? That is not Bobby."
Ella frowned. "Not saying."
He sighed. "Well, it was worth the try. I know your spoiler policy."
She grinned. "Yep. Now shut up, push play and maybe I won't start calling you sweetie every time a spoiler is wanted by you."
He grimaced at even the thought and couldn't push play fast enough.
He was soon shown that it was a demon and not an angel and felt proud at knowing Bobby well enough to know he was being OOC by telling Sam to get out.
He paused it again when Bobby fought the demon inside him and stabbed himself to stop it from killing Dean. "See, that right there is Bobby. He'd do anything to protect his family, even kill himself for them. I hope he isn't dead though, because I love bobby."
Ella grinned at him and rolled her eyes. "Yes, I hear your love for him."
He paused it again after he found out Nick's kid died. He stared in horror at the screen. "Is fictional me seriously doing this?! I am using a man's dead child to torture a yes out of him to get it to stop? I hate fictional me so much."
Ella patted his shoulder. "Fictional you likes psychologically torturing people, if that wasn't plainly obvious. It's his favourite game I think. They're practically torturing themselves, he gets into their heads that well."
"Fictional me is a horrific monster."
"Yep."
"I hate fictional me."
"Yup."
"I hope fictional me gets his arse handed to him and gets thrown back in the cage." He nodded and pushed play again.
He immediately grinned seeing that Bobby was still alive.
He rolled his eyes at hearing about Dean being Michael's sword. Before thinking on it a bit harder and started laughing. "Oh, Michael is in for a Hell of a ride trying to get Dean to say yes. And now I am imagining Dean as a vessel and eww. Michael, you have better taste than that."
Ella chuckled at his side. "Pretty sure Dean calls himself a condom for Michael at one point very soon, and yeah, it is hilarious."
He grinned at that before pushing play.
He blinked and pushed pause after Castiel put a spell to hide the Winchesters from all angels right onto their ribs. "Holy crap, Cassie came back with a vengeance and got an up in awesome. You go fictional bro of mine!"
Ella snorted at his side. "Yeah, Cass is so my favourite. Well, him and Crowley, but he doesn't come into it until near the end of this season."
He frowned at that name. "Crowley, really?"
She laughed. "Yep. Now let's finish this episode. I've got stuff to do tonight, since Dan and Charlotte didn't drop by tonight.'
He frowned. "Yeah, it was a good thing they didn't. Spoilers running wild."
She laughed. "Yep."
He pushed play again, wanting to know what happened.
He paused it to rub at his face when Nick said yes and took Lucifer in. "Yes, okay, fine. Contrary to popular belief, I don't lie. That son of a bitch taking on my name on the screen... He tortured someone to the point where telling the truth would make him say yes. Except I didn't love Dad so much he decided to punish me for it. I have no idea where that came from."
"Oh, uh, Fictional Lucifer hates humans and when God created humans he ordered angels to love them as much or more than God. Lucifer refused, because he didn't like them and didn't want to love anyone more than God."
He blinked. "Well that is even more screwed up than what actually happened. And my mum told me that dad tried to kill me and Hell was the compromise. That's how screwed up this is!"
Ella nodded at his side and rubbed at his back in soothing circles, as if to try and calm him down from what he had just watched and heard. It didn't work too well. Yeah, he was really going to hate fictional him. He already did. More than he hated himself even, and that was saying something.
He pushed play to try and stop his thoughts from spinning out of his control. Thank dad he had a set at nine to do that night to try and forget the absolute crap going through his head.
He rolled his eyes at Dean telling Sam he couldn't trust him, but knew the episode was right at the end so let it play through. He pushed stop and turned off the television once it ended. "Well, you're right. I hate this season already. Also, Dean is a lying sack of shit."
Ella raised her eyebrows in surprise at that one. "What?"
"He just told Sam he can't trust him anymore. Dean hasn't trusted Sam since near the beginning of first season. As far as I am aware, there never was any trust. So why the hell would he tell Sam this now? Oh yeah, because he blames him for everything. I am so fed up of his crappy attitude towards Sam."
Ella sighed, got up and walked to the lift. "Well, I will leave you to your Dean and self hatred while I just walk out of here. I have places to be. Don't wait up!"
He groaned. "I have a set tonight and I can just tell it is going to be played very angrily tonight."
Ella grinned. "Well, have fun with that. Maybe you'll put the piano to good use and get out some of your anger before the show."
He blinked and looked to his personal piano and shrugged. "I might actually do that if I am going to get through my set tonight."
Ella waved. "Well, see ya! I am going on a date."
"Traffic cop again?"
She grinned. "Yep."
He grinned back. "Well, have fun."
She waved at him and gave him a playful wink as the door closed behind her, leaving him alone. He went to the piano, set on playing for an hour before heading downstairs himself.
He needed to let off some steam and flying wouldn't cut it right now.
Note - I haven't watched any of season 14 yet, so any information about Nick in this story up to this point is as far as both Ella and Lucifer knows. Ella also hasn't watched season 14, because she waits for it to come out on DVD. I know Nick is in it, but not anything about him. Considering this story won't be updated for a good long while now, I will probably have watched it by the next chapter.
Headcanon - Lucifer is much more emotive using music than he is with his words. If he's particularly on edge or angry during a therapy session, sometimes Linda will whip out a roll up keyboard for him to hammer at until he is calm enough to get to why he is so touchy with words and not music.