Chapter 15
Solicitous

.:Nya:.

'Sometimes wearing a mask for so long can make you end up forgetting who you were beneath it.'

When Nya heard this for the first time from Master Wu's mouth when he was explaining an ancient tale, she thought how could someone possibly forget who they were? Like she could remember how she used to be before her parents had died – a bright and intelligent girl. She had the memories to prove it so she immediately dismissed Wu's quote as false… all up until Jay had discovered that she was a girl.

Maybe what the quote meant was that you forget how to be the person you were underneath the mask. If Nya had the choice, she would do anything to be the old her – the old her that was bright, happy and unscarred. The old her that had her parents and her brother. But… with those three people gone, how could she ever go back to being bright and happy? Even doing some of the things she used to do back then now, she would never find joy from it. Just like the rain – she used to love it and the way it sounded and felt against her skin. Now, she hated it for the cold and gloominess it brought.

… Although Nya didn't know how to be her old self, she knew Jay was desperately trying hard to… well, she guessed make her not gloomy and depressed.

Two days had passed since Jay made the discovery that Nya was a girl and the dynamic of their friendship had shifted drastically. Never had Jay treated her like she was a frail leaf bound to crumble apart when a breeze passes by. He didn't keep asking her if she was okay, but instead, he just said if she ever wanted to talk to him about something, she could. He wouldn't force her to opening up about something if she wasn't ready to.

He also treated her nicer… which only meant less teasing from him. However, this didn't mean that he went easier on her during training which only made her more grateful. The only thing that had changed since he knew about her being a girl was allocated shower times and so on because he never wanted to walk in on her again and she definitely didn't want him to see her partly naked… even though that was a one-time occurrence.

But, Jay had also somehow managed to start conversations that Nya could easily tap into, yet it wasn't related to anything of her past. He was actually pretty good at avoiding the whole past thing. Now that Jay knew… well, most of the truth, there was no more reason for them to really talk about it.

"Okay, next question," Jay mused before flicking through the flash cards in his hands. "Who is the founder of Airjitzu?"

"Master Yang," both Nya and Lloyd answered in a heartbeat.

It was two days until the start of the tournament. Since every single team were trying to fit in physical training in the dojo, Jay and Lloyd both collectively decided that they would just focus on the non-physical elements of the tournament for these last two days – such as riddles, trivia questions, stealth and team trust exercise…

Yeah, Nya sucked at that last one the most. They did the simplest thing too… but just on another level.

Yesterday, one person would have to climb a tree about a storey high and then simply let go and trust the others to catch them. Despite knowing that they were down there and Nya was the last one to be caught (so she had seen and help catch the others), she would not let go of that tree – no matter how much coaxing Jay did as well.

"Correct. In the myth Sensei have told us about the Golden Ninja, what were the entities that would show that the Golden Ninja have been supposedly selected?" Jay questioned.

Nya looked to Lloyd and Brad. The blond had a frown on his lips with his brows slightly creased as he thought about the answer while Brad was silently muttering to himself. Nya just rolled her eyes as the seconds passed and neither seemed to come up with the answer.

"The Four Golden Weapons of Spinjitzu."

"Eh, I just needed the Golden Weapons so extra points to you for that," Jay laughed before looking at her dead-set in the eyes. "Can you name the weapons?"

"There's the sword, nunchucks, shurikens and scythe."

"But which element?"

"Uhh…" Nya murmured, mind momentarily blanking. "Sword of Fire… Scythe of Earth…? Uh… Nunchucks of Lightning and Shurikens of Ice?"

"It's actually Scythe of Quakes," Lloyd corrected.

"Why? The four elements of creation are fire, lightning, earth and ice. Why quakes instead of earth?"

"We're not Master Wu, don't ask us," Brad simply stated as he leaned back on his chair. "But can we go now? It's ten at night. I still got to finish off an assignment to hand in tomorrow."

"Just another few minutes, I want to finish these flash cards before any of us go."

"Can't we just do them tomorrow?" Brad asked with a groan.

"No, we already decided tomorrow we'll focus on stealth and team trust again until Kai can finally let go of a tree," Lloyd sighed. "Proceed, Jay."

"Okay… Master Wu have told us there are sixteen realms, Ninjago being one of them. Who can name me five?"

"Five? Ugh, kill me now," Brad groaned.

"Isn't your assignment on one of the realms?"

"Yeah, one! I disregarded all the other ones except the Underworld."

"Well, there's Cloud Kingdom," Lloyd started. "The Cursed Realm and the Departed Realm."

"Points go to Lloyd. A third of a point to Brad. Kai, can you at least tell me one?" Jay asked.

Although Jay knew she was a girl now and that her name was actually Nya, he sometimes still called her Kai when they were alone… which, to be honest, didn't bother Nya that much. All it meant was that it was less of a chance of him addressing her as 'Nya' in public or even in front of Lloyd and Brad.

"The Realm of Oni and Dragon."

"Good! Now… oh, we're on the last question."

"Finally."

"This one is a hard one and I'm pretty sure this will be a question Wu will ask, but who can tell me history behind the Destiny's Bounty, it's creator, owner and twin?"

"Are you kidding me?!" Brad exclaimed. "That's way too hard of a question for Master Wu to ask us."

"Knowing my uncle, he will ask that question," Lloyd sighed. "But… we learnt that tale a couple years ago."

"… Not really," Nya sighed. "Don't you remember?"

"Kai, if you know the answer, just say it so we can go. Don't dwell on it," Brad immediately pleaded.

"Fine. The Destiny's Bounty was created by a mechanic called Monk; however, he didn't just work on the Destiny's Bounty, he was working on the Misfortune's Keep as well. However, a Djinn came to the island Monk resided on and grant him his wishes – Monk wanting to be the greatest mechanic in all of Ninjago, so it was as if the tools were a part of him so he can get it all done quicker. The Djinn twisted his words and granted his wish, turning him into a mechanical monkey… I think he was named Monkey Wretch afterwards. Anyway, after that, he managed to finish both ships but set sail with the Djinn on Misfortune's Keep and left the Destiny's Bounty behind which then got taken by a band of pirates lead by Captain Soto, but sometime later, it crashed and resulted the death of the captain and the crew-"

"Awesome tale. Kai, you're awesome. Now bye!" Brad exclaimed before picking up his bag and dashing out of Lloyd's dorm, making the other three sigh.

"Well… At least Kai knows that one well so if my uncle is to ask anything relating to… whatever Kai had just said, we'll be fine," Lloyd concluded. "Now both of you get out. I want sleep too."

"How nice of you," Jay snickered before picking up his stuff, Nya following. "Night, dude."

.:Jay:.

Jay watched as the one-fifty-nine on his alarm morphed two o'clock while a little red dot on the bottom corner blinked on and off to signal the excruciating slow seconds that passed. His clock used to tick but he disabled it since the ticks seemed to make time slower than what it was currently! Jay was convinced that the glowing numerals were slower than the actual time.

Once again, insomnia haunted his nights while fatigue ruled his days – but of course, he tried to not let that show. He had his studies to worry about, the tournament that was right around the corner, and making sure he was there for Ka- Nya whenever she needed him.

Jay shifted his cobalt eyes away from the digital clock and looked to his roommate's bed where she slept underneath the blankets, back to him. It was kind of bizarre that knowing your roommate was a girl… but not a girl at the same time. Whenever they weren't alone, she would always adapt her 'Kai' voice and then when they were alone, she would speak with her high 'not boyish' voice because Nya still didn't have those typical super high and bubbly girly voices. She didn't talk about girly things nor did she even act like a girl-

Jay's thoughts fell silent when his eyes spotted Kai -Uh, he meant Nya- roll over in her sleep, facing towards him. Despite the distance and the dark, he could see there was a small frown on her face. It made Jay wonder if she ever had a pleasant dream after the brother's death… or even after her parents'. He knew that the chamomile and lavender tea he had given her no longer worked since she was back to having nightmares as of a week and a bit ago. Most times, he would wake up (right after finally being able to fall back asleep) to hear her tossing in bed, murmuring in her sleep, or already awake and with tears streaming down (never had he heard her cry); however, there had been times when he would wake up and she was still asleep.

When she didn't have a nightmare (unless she did and he was just never awake for it), would she have a pleasant dream? A weird dream that made no sense at all? Or a memory?

Jay's curiosity had been skyrocketing higher and higher with each passing day since the discovery. He had so many questions for Kai -Ugh, Nya- regarding her past and even asking her a few about her acting like a boy in an all boys' school, but he held his tongue back and kept quiet about it instead. After hearing all the crap that Nya had been through, Jay didn't want to her think of any of those bad memories. He wanted to help her move on with her past instead of staying in it. By move on, he didn't mean forget it but to let it make her stronger and be confident in herself… but that would be hard to do with a psychopath uncle-

His attention was back on Kai -Nya! Come on, you should be getting this right by now!- when her body started to toss and turn in her blankets, her head leaning back as much as possible into her pillow. Broken breaths escaped her lips, along with small cries and whimpers.

According to the agonisingly slow clock, it took Jay less than half a second to be out of his bed and by her side.

.:Nya:.

Nya held her trembling hands to the wound, but no matter how much pressure she applied, the blood still gushed between her fingers and seeped under her hands. Her amber eyes fearfully watched as the thick liquid spread in Kai's red shirt, darkening the bright red and turning it into a brownish hue.

"K-Kai! Please!" She wailed, desperately shaking his body whilst still applying pressure. "Come back to me!"

Nya pleaded for him to wake up, for him to stay with her; yet, she knew the life had already been drained from his body… but that didn't stop his voice from echoing in her head.

"Save me, Doc. Don't let me die!"

"Kai, you gotta wake up."

But although his voice was echoing in her head, his eyes that once danced with light were now vacant, staring into the thin space above. His lips and mouth that were so quick to smile to reassure her lied stiff, agape and cold. His healthy and slightly dirty complexion was waxy and pale, making the dirt smears more prominent. The strong arms that used to hold Nya when she was distraught or lonely and used to keep her warm were now limply arranged on the ground.

"You let me die."

"I'm trying, Kai! I am!" She sobbed as she pressed her hands harder onto his chest.

"You're not saving me. You already left me to die."

"I'm not!"

"Kai! Kai- Nya!"

Nya gasped awake, thoughts accelerating to flood her mind with the painful memories of Kai and his lifeless body. She wanted nothing more than for all these flashbacks to slow down, just so she could get some space to breathe but… they wouldn't.

Her breaths came out as gasps to accommodate for her hammering heart that pounded agonisingly against her chest. Her lungs were constricting, yearning for air yet, no matter how deep she gasped, she couldn't get enough to fill out her lungs as for every breath she inhaled, it was exhaled with every sob that came from her quivering lips.

She bolted upwards, in hopes that it would make it easier for to breathe but all it did was made the room spin, making her head pulse with every pound her heart gave. It didn't take long for nausea to jump onto the bandwagon of 'how-to-make-Nya-feel-worse'.

He was gone. Kai was gone… Gone. Dead. Kai was dead… forever.

Forever.

"Nya…"

Nya felt herself completely froze when a pair of arms wrap around her body and brought her close to a chest. For a moment, she had stopped crying, stopped trembling and her thoughts had stopped. On pure instinct, her muscles went taunt as very fibre of her body was screaming to get out of whoever's arms she was in – if it wasn't Kai's, then she wasn't safe.

"Shh shh shhhh. Don't be scared. Just focus on my voice, okay?"

Hearing Jay's voice was enough to send Nya's mind into a whirlwind. She opened her amber eyes and through the tears, she could just barely make out that she was in the dorm she shared with Jay… who was currently hugging her.

"Good," he gently murmured before one hand moved from around her back and to one of her hands that was clutching the bedsheets and guided it to his chest while still holding her tight to him. "Now, do you feel the way my chest is moving?"

When those words left his lips, she suddenly became conscious of the soft yet steady thud that thumped beneath her hand. She could feel the warmth that came with it and the softness of the shirt… nothing like the cold, thick and oozing blood of Kai's wound…

But, she also felt Jay's chest rise and deflate with every strong and steady breath he took. It just consistently moved under her hand with smooth movements – nothing like the erratic rise and fall of her chest to accommodate to her gasping and choppy breaths and cries.

"Feel that? Now breathe with me, in time with my chest. Do you also feel my arms around your shoulders? Grounding you?"

She knew what he was doing. He was trying to get her to concentrate her senses on reality and away from her dream… like Kai used to.

"Just breathe, Nya. Count five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste."

So… she did. At first, every deep breath she took make the invisible noose around her neck tighten… but with given time, she could feel the oxygen flood into her lungs, reliving the pounding sensation in her head and chest while the cries ceased. Now that she could breathe, she concentrated on her senses.

Looking through her senses, she could see that she was still pressed up against Jay, her head against his shoulder. She could see the blue fabric of the shirt he wore to bed and over that, she could see the faint outlines of their dorm – the kitchenette, the bonsai tree that was in the corner of the kitchenette, the drawn curtains at their window, and the Jay's bright blue underwear in the corner of the room. She could hear Jay's steady breathes while also hearing hers trying to steady themselves, along with the faint birds and crickets from outside. She could still feel the steady heartbeat of his underneath her hand while his arm was gently squeezing around her, radiating warmth into her body. She could smell the fresh-laundered smell from his shirt and his honey-milk scent from his soap. As for taste, she could taste the saltiness from her tears that ran over her lips.

Nya felt the tense and rigidness in her body pour out from her pores. Her body finally relaxed into Jay's hug, trying to remember every aspect of it to keep her mind distracted from her dream. While her one hand remained on his chest, the other one moved to wrap around his torso to bring her closer and steal more warmth.

She knew that this couldn't compare to Kai's hugs. In his hugs, she felt more warmth, his muscular and protective arms would wrap around her tightly and her body would perfectly mould into his as she relaxes. With Jay's, it wasn't anywhere as warm, as tight, or as familiar but it was enough to ease her and to make her believe she was safe.

"Better?"

"Yeah… Thanks," Nya murmured but she didn't let go… and neither did he. "Sorry if I woke you up…"

"You didn't. Even if you did, you don't have to apologise," he reassured her in a soft voice, his hand releasing from hers just so he could hug her with both arms.

"… You're always awake whenever I wake up," Nya quietly said, pulling her face away from his shoulder but still remained in the hug. She looked up to his face and saw the dark bags under his eyes. "You look like crap."

"Really? I get told by the girls from Misako's Academy that I'm cute," he lightly joked, a small grin at his face which somehow got Nya to release a small wet laugh. There he was, distracting her mind from her past with a fun conversation she could easily tap into.

"Well, I'm not from Misako's Academy, I'm from Wu's."

"Lucky there's only one girl in Wu's then."

"Yeah, otherwise I wouldn't know how your self-esteem would handle having too many girls not calling you cute."

"Neither do I," Jay chuckled. "Maybe turn out gay like Dareth. I mean, I'm pretty cute for guys' standards, right?"

"Hmmm… Nah, not really."

"Your words wound me!"

Instead of laughing, Nya stiffened, all mirth vanishing from her face. She knew Jay's words only meant to light her up but… she couldn't help but remember Kai.

"You worry too much. You're going to get so many wrinkles and grey hairs at this rate."

"All these so called wrinkles and grey hairs would be entirely your fault."

"My fault? Your words wound me, little sister."

She was snapped out of the brief memory that happened just before Ronin's betrayal when she heard Jay worriedly call her name. She looked up to see his concerned blue eyes looking down at her with a slight crease between his brows.

"S-Sorry… Just remembered something with Kai…" She muttered before looking back down but she felt Jay's arms tighten around her.

"Hey, that's okay," he immediately assured. "It's completely okay."

And with that being said… Nya found herself trusting Jay, trusting his word that it was okay… that remembering her brother and dampening the mood despite Jay trying to fix it was okay – that Jay was there for her no matter what.

So sorry if this chapter seemed rushed in the beginning. I didn't even think about doing the first half. I just had the second half done and I liked how it ended and didn't want to add what I had planned for the next chapter earlier so… you got this rush first half. BUT I also want to apologise for the two chapter 15 updates but no actual chapter. Fanfiction have been playing up on me for the last two weeks, just for logging in yet when I tried to update (upon using a different browser), it converted my chapter to coded text when it uploaded. It was unreadable so I tried reloading the document and THEN try to update again but the same result so I just took it down.

ALSO: It has crossed my mind that how I'm doing Wu's academy as a boarding school is probably not how a boarding school work. I went to a public school in Australia where we barely have any boarding schools so I'm just doing what I think is right – although I'm starting to think that I'm doing it all wrong. So I apologise for that and hope you all can overlook this terrible mishap in this story!

But massive thanks to everyone who has reviewed, followed and favourited: EchoIsACutie, A Huge Fangirl, Jaell, HHQFandoms, RandomDragon2.0, JSNI, dragonpearlninja, Natalie Singe, unknown, and all my silent readers!

EchoIsACutie: Awwww, I honestly do not deserve this praise from you! But thank you so much anyway for your kind words. Now about the review thing, you can only review once per chapter. I deleted my author's note chapter and replaced it with Chapter 14 but the reviews from the author's note remain – so that's probably why you couldn't have reviewed before. AND YAS! I love that episode from Avatar! It was so cringy but hilarious! But yes, I did get a little aspiration from that.

A Huge Fangirl: WHAT?! I mentioned Jaya instead? Oh whoops xD Thank you so much for letting me know, I'll go back and try to find it haha.

Next up (which I'll try to post next weekend) the tournaments commences! Will our favourite team win their first round or will they lose to their rivals: Cole, Zane, Griffin and Gene? Until next time! Xoxo – ZaneLoverFan88