Abandon All Hope... tomorrow night! Enjoy this little fun one between the angst.

Episode Thirty One - The Real Ghostbusters

Lucifer was bored out of his mind by going to church with Ella by now. It was the same old thing over and over. Lies, most of it. And he was seriously hoping she realised he was sick of it so she told him he could stop so that he didn't have to sit through anything like that any longer.

Still, he dutifully sat by Ella's side as Father Maloney ripped into a fictional him that didn't even exist and fit much better with the Supernatural version of him.

He hoped he didn't have to put up with fictional him in the show tonight, because he was so not in the mood.

He had stayed up most of last night staring at his ceiling and mourning the loss of one of his more favourite brothers.

After church had finished and he was back in his flat with Ella flopped on her back beside him, he wondered what tonight's episode would be about as she read the title to him.

"Ooh, is this another ghost story? Basics are back then? We haven't had a ghost so far this season and it's almost halfway through. Why do I suddenly miss ghost episodes?"

Ella grinned up at him. "Probably because they're getting rarer and rarer and are instead making way for demon and angel episodes, because of the bigger theme being the apocalypse."

He nodded at that one. "True. I look forward to this episode more now."

Ella nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yeah, this is a weird but good one."

He smiled down at her, before turning back to the screen and turning it on. They had already put the DVD in so he got it to the right channel and pushed start on the first episode. It was hard to believe they were already up to the third disc.

He paused it while it was still on the Then pat of the episode to grin widely. "Aww, Chuck! We get more on the Prophet? That's nice to know he is still alive. Also Becky... Have I mentioned that I don't like Becky?"

Ell nodded. "Yep, you have. And I agree with you. Becky is seriously creepy."

Lucifer hummed his agreement with that, before pushing play to get the actual episode started.

He paused it again when he realised it was an actual convention. He put his head in his hands and let out possibly the loudest and most cathartic laughing fit he had ever had in his life, because that was the most hilarious thing he had ever seen in his life. And it was fiction. Oh how meta and awesome this show could get when it did things like this. He truly did love it.

Ella poked him from her upside down position on his forearm to get him to lift his head out of his hands. He was thankful she missed his eyes. Her aim wasn't the best in the position she was in.

"Yeah, I know, it's hilarious but fits so well and is awesome," she said as he started to calm down.

He couldn't get the stupid grin off his face and was glad that the show was giving him this after the upheaval of the last night's episode with Gabriel being introduced. "Yes, yes it really is. I love this show sometimes. And at other times I hate it."

"Amen to that!" Ella replied, turning on her side and resting her head on his thigh.

He pushed play again just in time to hear Becky note it was a Supernatural convention and that it was the first. And there were more people there than he would imagine for a book series that was obscure cult in genre.

He paused it again after Chuck had done with his talk and answering a few questions, pretty damn badly at that. He frowned and asked the one thing going through his mind at that moment. "Wait, he started writing and publishing again because of a wealthy Scandinavian benefactor? Is it Gabriel playing Loki?"

Ella snorted and laughed at that one. "I have no idea, but oh holy shit it works so well doesn't it? He's pissed the two boys won't play their roles so gets Chuck to write the continued adventures of Sam and Dean. And have them published. Sounds like punishment of the trickster kind to me. Can't get them to play along, you'll make Chuck write them playing along."

He nodded. "Yes. That was my thought too. That and Scandinavian. It just fits."

Ella nodded against his thigh and he felt the odd need to push her head off because that felt weird in a non sexual setting. Then before he could push play again another thought occurred to him. "Wait, wouldn't Chuck know Loki is Gabriel?!"

Ella blinked and frowned. "Huh. Yeah, he would know that. But he couldn't tell the people an Archangel told him to continue writing and publishing. Angels weren't even in the books at that stage. So, Scandinavian works much better."

Lucifer tilted his head to one side. "Huh. Makes sense. Okay, moving on." He pushed play again, really looking forward to where this episode was going.

He didn't pause it for a while, as there really wasn't much to say about this one. Dean wasn't annoying him, Sam was not doing much either for that matter, and the LARPERS were hilariously overacting. But he did like the place was actually haunted. So, he paused it after finding out that yes, the place was truly haunted by Leticia Gore and the 4 boys. He paused it when Sam and Dean got to the attic. "Wait. aren't the whole crowd here in danger from these ghosts? This isn't just a game and it is an anniversary night."

Ella nodded again, making his grimace.

"Yep, sure is," she said, patting him on his opposite leg from her awkward position.

He shifted in his seat. "Can you not do that while your head is down there. It's weird and awkward."

Ella sat up and looked at his crotch. "How? You're not hard or anything."

He shook his head. "No I mean it's weird and awkward in a non sexual setting, which this is. I'm not interested in having sex with you. You're my friend. You've become off limits to me."

Ella grinned up at him. "Aww, that's oddly sweet. Okay, I will stop patting your leg while laying in your lap."

"And nodding to."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, okay, no nodding either."

He relaxed and patted her head. "Good."

He pushed play again when Ella moved his hand off her head.

He grimaced when Becky licked her palm and then sent it as a kiss towards Sam with Chuck, who had an obvious crush on her was sitting beside her while buying her drinks and trying to ask her out. That shit was awkward and horrible all at once. He really didn't like Becky and her utter obsession with Sam.

He paused it again when Dean toasted the ghost of Gore. He raised an eyebrow at his screen. "Wait does that mean that these two cosplayers now understand that they are with the actual real Sam and Dean? They should definitely know by now they're actually hunters and not playing pretend. They all saw the ghost and how she burnt when her bones were set on fire."

"I can't remember if they realised they really are Sam and Dean or not right now, but they do ask Dean who they actually are and get Dean as an answer, I do know that."

He nodded. "Nice. I like when civilians end up knowing and helping. It's how people end up becoming hunters to begin with."

"Yeah, but it sucks," Ella replied.

He frowned but couldn't help but agree with that. "Yeah, it does suck. I feel sorry for every single one of them that the show has introduced so far."

Ella raised a hand and gave him a thumbs up. "Now push play and get this sucker finished."

He grinned at that, but did as he was told.

He laughed at Chuck answering someone's question with telling them that there isn't such a thing as groin Croatoan as an illness and he should see a doctor. That was funny.

He paused it and grinned when Chuck, the one complaining that he wasn't a hero and couldn't do anything, saved that man from being scalped by a kid ghost by making it go away with an iron stand. And Becky now actually looked interested in him because it was her first bit of actual supernatural she had actually seen, and it was Chuck who had done it. "Awww. Yes, Chuck, you take care of that ghost and find your backbone. Good lad."

Ella giggled on his lap and he frowned at her. "What?"

She shook her head. "Nope, spoilers. Ones you will hate to high heaven and back."

He rolled his eyes at her damn spoiler policy but nodded, accepting she wasn't going to tell him. He pushed play, not really understanding why she didn't want to carry on that piece of conversation.

he laughed when Dean said that the hook guy had a good idea about putting their tools on bungees so they would always go back to them instead of constantly losing them during fights. Then Sam agreed with a small nod.

He winced as the tall guy playing Dean put his head on the shorter guys shoulder to show their love for each other. "That does not look like a good position to be in. Ouch. Isn't he sore from leaning that far down?"

Ella shifted and sat up, stretching her arms up above her head and he heard cracks. "Uh, better. And yeah I suspect he would be, especially if he kept that position for much longer."

"Yeah. Also they're a cute couple."

Ella grinned at him. "Yeah."

He pushed play again to finish the episode, since it was very close to finishing now.

He laughed when Sam told Chuck that he was fine with him publishing more books and when Chuck asked if he really meant it said no but he had guns and knew where he lived. He wondered if Chuck still lived in the same house...

The episode ended with Sam getting a lead on the Colt and Dean feeling better about his shitty life and Chuck having a flashback scene to some of the questions he answered, all of which were either hilarious or cringey, or a mixture of both.

He turned it off and let out a satisfied sigh. "You know, after last night's episode I really needed a fun one that ended on a hugely positive note like this one. I really enjoyed this. I hope the show keeps giving us fun ones after big plotty ones that want to rip your heart out and stomp on it."

Ella patted his shoulder. "Yep, that sounds about right. I'm glad you had fun with this one."

He nodded. "I really did have fun with this one. Even with Becky in it."

Ella laughed at that one and got up. "Yeah. Well, I am off to home. I need to get up early tomorrow to get some work done before rush hour."

He smiled and waved. "Have fun with that!"

She rolled her eyes at him and gave him the finger. "Sure. See ya!"

As the doors of the lift closed, Lucifer got up, walked to his bar and poured himself a finger of scotch. He was in the mood for good company tonight, since he was feeling good.

Hopefully someone down in Lux was up to have him for a partner for the night.

Note - Why did Chuck have to have a crush on Becky of all people? Just...what?

Note - I do not ship incest pairings, but I did find the couple who helped hunt the ghost cosplaying as Sam and Dean cute.

Headcanon - Chloe is an anomaly for Lucifer, being that he wants to bang her into infinity and beyond. But he doesn't with any of his other friends (but will with complete strangers, regardless of being in love.) Sex and romance are two totally different things for Lucifer.

Headcanon - Said it before, will say it again. Lucifer can't do monogamy without being so OOC you may as well call him by a different name.