Yay, got Supernatural season 14! Also got Good Omens. Watching Good Omens first. For reasons. Reasons which involve my list of Good Omens fic. Which is old and bad and why did I write half of it, I have no idea... Also, I role played Anathema for a while back in the mid 00's. Yeah.

Episode Thirty Two - Abandon All Hope...

Lucifer stared at the screen after Ella had told him the title of the episode for tonight. He knew that it was an episode that would have fictional him in it just from the title alone, because he damn well knew where that came from and that it pertains to Hell.

"I'm guessing fictional me is in this episode and that Sam and Dean get the Colt to try and kill fictional me."

Ella leaned her head against his shoulder and patted his knee. "Good guesses, yep."

He sighed and closed his eyes knowing this was going to be a bad one, and after some fun too. He hoped it wasn't as bad as his mind was trying to tell him it would be, but couldn't shake the feeling he was going to utterly hate this episode.

He reluctantly pushed the play button to start it.

He laughed at the beginning scene with the homophobic man being kissed by Crowley, who was clearly in a male meat suit. He hoped that the show would eventually show two guys kissing without it being bad for one of the people being kissed, but that homophobic man totally had that coming.

He laughed again at Castiel perving on Crowley kissing the guy.

He again laughed at the smile Crowley gave when the lights of his home went out and he knew it would likely be hunters.

Okay, so maybe this episode wasn't all going to be horrifically bad. So far he was actually really enjoying it. He hoped that continued.

By his side, Ella was grinning widely at seeing Jo on screen, but there was a look in her eyes he wasn't sure he knew what to call.

He snorted at the ridiculous come back Dean said of saying that Crowley was a functioning morons. He really did like when Dean tripped over his own tongue and just repeated a bad thing back.

He paused it when Dean went over to Jo to apparently hit on her because of hr arse. "No, seriously, he is going up to the young one to have sex with her because he finds her attractive when she bends over?"

Ella rolled her eyes at him. "Like you haven't done the same thing."

"Yes, with people who I know are definitely interested. And who are older and more secure in their sexuality than Jo is."

Blinking at him, Ella hit him on the shoulder. "You think she's underage and has never had sex?"

He shrugged. "I don't know how old she is. If it was ever stated in the show I never heard it. And no, I doubt she is a virgin. If she was interested in me, I would likely still say no."

"What makes you think Dean won't?"

"Dean has no impulse control. He sees a sexual target, he hits on it. Age doesn't seem to deter him. We know that for him sexualizing teenagers. Canonically. If anyone stops this from devolving into sex, it will be Jo."

Ella raised an eyebrow at him, before pointedly turning back to look at the screen.

He smiled widely at Jo rejecting Dean and telling him to his face that she had more self respect than to sleep with him. "Oh, you go girl! yes. See, told you."

Ella rolled her eyes at him again and ignored him.

He leaned back and let out an "Ah," at seeing all the Reapers gathered in the town. That...was a lot of death happening for that many Reapers to be gathered. He had that horrible feeling about being horrified by this episode grow a lot stronger than it had been before.

He paused it when Bobby said over the radio that Death was being raised and that's why the town was crawling with Reapers. Ella frowned at him.

"How come you didn't pause when Jo was mauled by the Hellhound?"

He frowned. "I thought it was obvious that Ellen and Jo in this episode were cannon fodder. I expected them to die. Now, Castiel being trapped in a ring of holy fire by Lucifer, that was unexpected and shocking to me. Yet again, so was him riding in a car..."

Ella blinked at that. "Wait, seriously. You were surprised by Cass in the car? Just like the show's Lucifer?"

He shrugged and nodded. "Yep. I really wasn't expecting that, considering he has a perfectly workable set of wings he uses all the time."

Ella blinked. "Huh, I didn't even think of it like that. I just thought it a silly joke."

"Nope."

She sighed after that and stared at Dean's sad face on the screen. "I still don't know why you're not upset about Jo here."

He rolled his eyes at her. "I told you. They're here for cannon fodder."

Ella winced and nodded. "Yeah. I hate the show does that to great female characters..."

He grinned "It helps that I didn't' get attached to them."

Ella stared at him, before grinning widely. "Oh, you're going to love Charlie when she comes. Trust me."

He blinked at that. "What, no spoilers there?"

She shook her head. "Nope. You'll just love her. I love her. She's my favourite character in the whole show."

He hummed at that, before turning back to the screen to push play.

He let out a loud eww of not wanting an action as Dean changed his kiss on Jo's forehead in goodbye to a kiss on the lips. Just...no.

Ella hit him for that one.

He paused it after Ellen set off the bombs and blew the hellhounds to pieces. "Wow. Ellen went out as an awesome badarse. Also it is a good thing she stayed to die with her daughter, not only to let the Hellhounds in, but because Jo died before she could hit the button to set the bomb off."

Ella beside him rubbed at her eyes and he knew better than to laugh at her for crying at the deaths of characters in a show she loved. He found out that wasn't a good thing to do early on during his stay on Earth. "Yeah Ellen was a badass and she went out as a hunter sending some ugly bitches to Hell."

He grinned at that. "She really did."

He pushed play again, realising that he was nearing the end of the episode now and wanting to know just how much trouble the Winchester boys were going to get into against fictional him.

He actually paused to blink at the screen when Dean full on shoots fictional him in the head point blank range. "Wow, I can't believe he actually did it. That doesn't makes sense..."

Ella shushed him and he pushed play again to see how this one actually went because this was all wrong...

He paused it again when Lucifer woke up from getting a bullet to the head with nothing more than a few seconds of unconsciousness and an owwww. "Well, that's not good. The Colt didn't' work. So Jo and Ellen died for absolutely nothing. And now I understand the title of this episode perfectly."

Ella sighed. "Yep, and it really sucks. On the other hand, you can't say Dean missed his shot."

He grinned at that one. "Hah, true. He definitely got the shot in."

He pushed play again, wanting to see how fictional him's conversation with Sam went.

He paused it again pretty much very shortly afterwards when Lucifer said he thought Sam would say yes to him in six months in Detroit. "What is with fictional me's obsession with Detroit? It's where you come from, Ella. Can you tell me what is so special about the place?"

Ella shrugged. "Not really. I got out as soon as I could."

He rolled his eyes. "Well, that's helpful. It's just Sam Lucifer in the alternate universe Zachariah sent Dean to also said that Sam said yes to him in Detroit. It's just weird that this Lucifer would know too."

Ella frowned. "Well, he can probably see other realities. Angels can go from one to another, through different time periods and things."

He nodded. "Hmm, true. Okay, that makes sense. I'll keep that as the most logical answer, but it still doesn't explain why Detroit."

He pushed play again before Ella could answer that one, because he was really interested in where this episode was going.

He stopped it again in a few seconds to stare at the screen in horror. Fictional him had filled the men of the town up with demons and killed all the women and children and not able bodied men. To raise Death. Who in real life was his sister who was sweet and kind and wouldn't hurt a fly.

That's it...he needed to get up...

"Hey, you okay?" Ella asked, as he stood and slowly walked away from the couch.

"I think I'm going to be sick..." he answered, before rushing to his bathroom toilet where he lost his dinner he had earlier that night.

He didn't realise Ella was in there with him until he felt her hands rubbing his back. "Hey, it's only fictional," she said trying to make him feel better, no doubt.

He groaned and shook his head. "I don't know what's worse! Me being a genocidal maniac and killing a whole town, or my sister wanting me to be that and together up and roaming around Earth..."

Ella sucked in her breath. "Oh shit, Angel of Death. Azrael. I can't imagine Rae Rae asking you to do that or wanting anyone to do that. Yeah okay, I can understand the double whammy you just got dealt. But the show isn't finished yet. Only a few minutes left. Come on."

He sighed, flushed the toilet of the mess he had made and got back to his feet. He felt a little unstable on his legs, but still made it back to the couch, where he slumped himself down in horror and sadness and still felling sick.

Ella picked up the remote form where he dropped it and pushed play. She kept hold of it and knew there would be no more pausing for tonight.

He still let out a pleased "Hah! You go little bro! And why do I sort of ship Cassie and Meg now?"

Ella rolled her eyes at that. "Oh, not you. Please, no."

He laughed and focused back on the television.

As the episode ended, he frowned in confusion. "Wait, why did they burn the picture? Didn't' they take it as a reminder that any of the could die? And two of them did. Shouldn't they keep it as a memory?"

Ella sighed and nodded. "I agree with that, but hey. Hunters tend to burn heir dead."

He nodded at that. "Hmm, true. They couldn't do their funeral rites as there were no bodies left, so they burnt the photo instead. That makes sense."

She sighed again. "Yeah. I'm going home now. I'm beat."

He sighed and nodded. "Yeah, see you tomorrow."

Once Ella had left, without another word passing between them, Lucifer spent the next half hour staring at the blank television screen lost in thought.

He hated fictional him and worried over fictional Azrael.

He hoped that next episode wasn't as depressing as this one was.

Note - I was actually sad for the deaths of Ellen and Jo. I felt nothing at all for Ash's death. Yeah. But hey, at least Ellen went out as a badass.

Headcanon - Azrael is the only sister who is willing to talk to Lucifer on Earth. Lucifer is protective of her because of it.