"Good on jam," Magnus relayed.

He grabbed a jar from the shelves and shook the fangs inside.

"Restock werewolf," Shu wrote onto a notepad in front of her.

"Magnus."

Alec walked through the door. "I got your fire message. What's the emergency?"

He looked at what Magnus had in his hand and pointed. "Are those…?"

"Fangs?" Shu asked, snatching them up. "Yes. Very potent. Good for digestion."

She offered then, and he held up a hand to say 'Uh, no.'

"Your loss. I'll be off."

She walked into the other room with the fangs and a list in hand.

"I'm sorry about the emergency call," Magnus said. "But…it was the only way to get your attention."

"Well, since you're okay…I should…probably get back."

He turned to leave.

"I'm not okay…" Magnus called. "Because you're not okay."

He sighed and walked in front of Alec. "Alexander…you've been to hell and back. And you haven't stopped for a second, taken a moment for yourself."

"Magnus, we're in the middle of a war."

He scoffed. "There will always be a war. A mission. A…problem to solve. Look, I speak from experience. If you fail to grant time for the things you care about, you'll forget why you're even fighting at all."

To that, Alec couldn't counter. He looked to Magnus, understanding taking over his face, and eventually, he fully gave in with a deep sigh. "What do you have in mind?"

Magnus took Alec out to Maia's, a member of Luke's pack, bar for their first date.

He handed him a beer. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome. I'm not much of a beer drinker, but my bartender friend swears by this IPA."

"Oh, well, I'm not much of a drinker, period, but I'll take your word for it."

"Cheers."

They clinked their glasses together and each took a drink. Alec cringed at the taste, but did a pretty good job of hiding it. But a stoic face did kinda give it away anyway.

"You hate it."

"No, it's um…it's great."

Alec hit the cue ball and sank three balls from seemingly impossible angles. "You see that? It's just like archery. It's all about the aim, Magnus."

"Who knew there were so many similarities?"

He was tapping his pool cue, trying not to look impatient but failing.

Alec noticed and lined up to take his next shot. This time, he hit the ball and it did little but hit the cue ball into the next ball he was aiming for and then bounce back in a triangle against the edges of the table.

He sighed. "Can't win 'em all."

He walked over and took a drink of his beer, which he was persevering in order to finish, having made it halfway through. He turned to the sound of the billiards balls clattering and saw Magnus had hit two balls in within his one shot.

"Wait, did you do your…" He waved his hand around. "…thing?"

"Haven't you heard the saying? 'If you can't find the one being hustled in the pool hall…'" He lined up his pool cue. "'…then it's probably you.'"

He hit the cue ball clean over one of the regular ones to whack a red one into the pocket before it ricocheted away from falling in itself.

"Okay," Alec nodded with a smile, having realized that Magnus's impatient look wasn't because he had been losing, but because he was being condescending.

"Okay?"

"Okay. Yeah. Let's play."

Magnus changed the song on the jukebox and nodded in approval to the upbeat song.

"I suppose we both have a healthy dose of competitive spirit."

"I grew up with Jace. I didn't have much of a choice."

"Trust me, I grew up with Shu. I understand. Some people can't be around that energy. I, in turn, find it invigorating, as I'm sure your exes did as well."

"Lydia never complained."

"I thought you knew Lydia for a millisecond before your arranged marriage."

Alec shrugged and shook his head with his 'I'm totally innocent and have no idea what's going on' face.

"Wait…Lydia…is she your only ex?"

"I just haven't had, uh…you know, time for a real relationship. You know."

He awkwardly picked up the cocktail Magnus had gotten him and sipped it. "This is…this is good…" He tried, though he was still cringing from the taste.

Magnus had a nervous face on as well "Alexander…just so I'm clear…have you ever been in a relationship?"

Alec opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again and looked down. The answer evident, Magnus looked down in front of him, silence settling upon them.

"You're weirded out," Alec finally said.

Magnus shook his head defensively. "Who says I'm weirded out?"

Alec tapped his fingers nervously. "You wanna know why I haven't been in a relationship? Because of this." He waved his hand between them. "Cause…I didn't wanna feel like there was something wrong with me, because I-I grew up in the Institute, because…I always knew I could have what I wanted."

Magnus couldn't say anything. Alec's life in the Institute had raised him to be unable to be himself, made him afraid of it. What if Magnus had pushed him into something he didn't want? Once again, he worried about ruining Alec's life for his own selfish desires.

"Until you came along," Alec finished.

Magnus swallowed and struggled for the right words. "Nothing's wrong with you. Far from it. But you're so…innocent."

"In some ways, but…I don't want you to treat me any different."

"But you are different. And it's a good thing."

"What about you? I mean you must have had plenty of exes."

"What do you mean?" Magnus asked nervously.

"You know what I mean."

"Alexander…look, I've lived for centuries. I've been with men, woman, Seelies, Warlocks, Vampires…a djinn or two."

"How many?"

Magnus hesitated. "How many?"

"It's not a trick question."

"I…couldn't tell you an exact number. Shu probably could, considering she's not into the whole dating thing and instead focuses on my love life."

"You can round down if you want."

"Okay. You wanna know? I'll tell you."

Alec looked to him in curiosity.

"Seventeen."

Alec was taken back. "Seventeen?"

Magnus looked down to the table and nodded.

"That…that's…"

Magnus gave him a look of disbelief. He seriously thought it was just seventeen?

"Ugh, this had to have come up on the first date?!" Shu shouted to their empty apartment.

Alec's smile dropped in realization. "Seventeen…hundred?"

Magnus looked to the side.

"Seventeen thousand?"

"It's all in the past. Ancient history. But right now, I'm here. With you."

"Yeah, me and…17,000 other memories."

"Look…I am who I am. And you are who you are. And all the magic in the world can't change that. So…let's just try to make the best of it."

Alec hesitated. He took a deep breath and mustered a smile. "Sure."

Shu sighed. "It could be worse."

"Wrong."

Charon appeared out of his cloud of smoke. "Valentine has both the cup and the Soul Sword. With it, he has the ability to obliterate everything with demonic blood, including us, and every one of your little Downworlder friends. You need to fix this."

"Why me?"

"You, like it or not, are in charge of the demonic safety and well being. You are our protector, one way or another."

"I never asked to be born the way I am. I quit ruling over demons hundreds of years ago."

"You aren't the Demon Queen, but you are still our sister, you have our blood, and you are the only one who can take on that Shadowhunter."

"And I will. The angelic being that uses the blade has to be struck by lightning. Even for Valentine, it's gonna take a while to accomplish that. He'll have to wait for a storm, and he'll have to find a way to attract the lightning. One way or another, his movements are limited and predictable if he wants to accomplish his goal. Can't you demons do something to stop him or slow him down?"

"He's taken in some of us and done experiments to turn them to his side, make them more powerful than the Shadowhunters. Some are defecting."

"Even knowing how much he hates us and what his plans against us and all demonic blood are?"

"They're brainwashed into pure killers, changed with experiments, and then released into the world. Quite possibly, his possession of the Mortal Cup plays a factor in their submission as well. Most aren't with him consciously."

"Most?"

"Some are with him to try and be undercover. If he succeeds, we've got nothing left to lose, so they figure that they might as well go out with a bang, giving him a good lashing to him and/or his pride if it's the last thing they can do. But I think they're being reckless. They're just doing what they're doing to be on the winning side when this is all over. Some even think they might be able to avoid destruction if they do Valentine's bidding. That's mostly the lesser demons, but the other Greater demons are running and hiding, staying out of this fight. You can stop Valentine, and I know you will, but you have to hurry."

"I'll do what I can."

"That's not good enough."

"Look, I can't promise success. Even I don't know how things will turn out."

"That's because you're locking up that power within you. You've tried to keep it down because both demons and angels have proven to be untrustworthy, and you are right about that. But right now, the entire demon race is at stake, including the Downworlders, so you'd best get back into the fray soon."

"I can't do it, Chare."

"Do what?"

"I can't go full…power mode anymore. It's not that I'm not trying to, it's that I can't. It feels like there's a block, or something."

"Like you're magically constipated?"

"Oh, shut up."

"Well that block is just your own self-doubt, your own fear of what happens when you embrace who you are. Though you've been living as a Downworlder for the past half a millennia, you've been trying to avoid ties to angels and demons, and therefore being unwilling to accept yourself. You remember that day on the Blackfriars Bridge?"

"I've never told you about that," She snapped.

"I was there. I just took the memory of it. Both me and Camille stopped you and Magnus respectively. Together, we were the ones who brought you off that ledge."

And if…if it wasn't for Camille and…and…we wouldn't be here right now.

"I hesitated," She realized. "I was going to say…"

"Someone other than Camille had saved you."

"Why would you take that memory away from me?"

"The same reason I take every memory away from you. Because it's saving you from pain."

"What pain?"

"Do you know the reason why you were in that slump? Usually, you had always prevented Magnus from falling too far, but this time in particular, you couldn't support him when you yourself were falling too. After all that you'd been through in your childhood, you would think that you'd be invincible to anything else the world could throw at you."

"And what was so bad? Was it your fault? That's why you took the memory away. Not to help me, but to save your own skin."

He stepped forward. "Asushunamir-"

She slapped his outstretched hand away. "No. I'm tired of this game between you and I. You use your powers to make sure that nothing bad is ever remembered between us. If you think you can gain my trust this way, you are sorely mistaken. Go ahead and take this memory away. I will never trust you. Just because I won't remember the reason for my fury doesn't mean it won't be there, waiting to burst free eventually."

He grabbed her hand firmly and shoved her back against the wall and pinning her other arm.

"Listen to me!"

"You gonna give me what you took, or are you going to make me fight you?"

"You're right!" He shouted. "I take memories to save my own skin. I do it to gain your trust. I don't fight fair. But that's because I keep messing up. There are things that I can't change. No matter what we remember, we can't change the past. Only our perspective on it. I mess up. I do things that can't be changed. I make you angry at me, make you resent me because of things that I wish I could change, but you'd never believe me if I told you so. I'm a coward. I couldn't stand the thought of you hating me, unable to look at me. Because when you get angry, you don't yell at me, you don't shout to the heavens how upset you are. You don't shove me back when I come near, you don't try to attack me or let your rage out. You bottle it all up inside. You refuse to speak to me at all. When I come near, all you do is walk away without a word. If I follow, you act as though I'm not even there. Even if I force you to acknowledge my existence, you never say a thing. You were born and raised to keep your feelings inside. But I'd rather have you raging at me, kicking and screaming, than for you to ignore me completely like you do.

"But when you're ignorant of something, you're right. You'll know there something wrong, and no matter how many memories I take from you, you can't ever quench the fires of your fury. But at least when you don't remember, you talk to me. You demand answers that I'm unwilling to give. At least you don't close yourself off to me, no matter how angry you are. And I know I should face the consequences of my actions, stop playing this game between us where I'm trying so hard to keep your trust in me. And maybe I'll start doing that. Just give the word, and I'll give you back everything that I've taken, no matter how good or how bad I feel about it."

Shu was still trying to take in everything he was saying. He admitted everything, how he was doing what he did because he was afraid of her wrath. But…did that mean that he wasn't doing any of it just for her? Just to help her get over something that was too painful to remember?

Sometimes, taking someone's memories and then returning them after they've grown wiser is the only way to help them move past a bad experience.

She knew that she had been in a really bad place during the Blackfriars Bridge incident, but how extensive had it really been? When she looked back on it, how she had felt didn't make any sense. She knew for a fact that she was unhappy, that she had felt a crushing feeling in her chest that refused to go away, Magnus's own problems only making it worse. But…at the moment, in the here and now centuries later, they felt like nothing but facts. A, B, C, she felt this way. But she just couldn't recreate that feeling. She couldn't understand it anymore.

Charon was offering to give everything back - every sorrow, every rage, every smile - that he'd taken. But she couldn't tell him to do it. She couldn't ask for it, because, at the moment, his honesty was the scariest thing she could fathom.

"Keep them for later," She said. "Let me…ask for them…when I'm ready."

"Okay then."

With that, he disappeared, leaving her leaning against the wall for support. Somehow, she knew her heart wasn't beating so fast out of fear.

"For a guy so used to portals, I have to admit, nothing beats a late night stroll through the city," Magnus said as he and Alec walked into the apartment.

"Yeah. Gives you time to think."

"You must have thought a lot. You barely said a word the whole way home."

Magnus took off his coat and began to pour himself a drink (as usual) while Alec struggled for words. "Magnus…Do you think…maybe we're too…"

"Different?"

He sighed. "Yeah."

Magnus turned slowly. "We're from…totally different worlds."

"Different centuries."

More silence settled between them.

"Look, I…I should…go."

He moved to leave, and Magnus looked ready to stop him, but couldn't find anything to say.

Then, Alec paused halfway out and sighed, turning back. "Look, I don't care how many people you've been with."

Magnus looked hopeful that they weren't going to end things on a bad note. "I don't care how many people you haven't been with."

Alec nodded, unable to find anything else to really say. So instead, he stepped forward and kissed him.

Alec was the first to speak when they slowly parted, his voice barely coming out a whisper. "I hear that…relationships, they um…take effort."

Magnus gave a small smile. "I'm all for effort."

They each smiled at each other, before the front door opened and Jace walked through. The two of them moved apart from each other, realizing that when Alec had kissed Magnus, Magnus had moved his hand to Alec's waist and Alec had his hand on Magnus's arm. Magnus crossed his arms in front of him and Alec put his hands together behind him, the two trying to get over the nice moment being ruined by Alec's brother.

"Sorry for killing the mood," Jace said, walking forward with a bag in his hand. "You got a spare room?"

Magnus then looked to him in confusion.

"Jace, what's up?" Shu asked, walking in.

"Aldertree booted me out of Institute. I wasn't able to pledge my allegiance to the Clave when I was on trial with the Soul Sword, and that combined with my demon blood, I'm a threat. He made me leave or threatened to make sure everyone knew what happened during the trial, as if I needed to be hated even more by the others."

"I'll make you a room. Great thing about Warlocks, I could make you your own penthouse if I were that dedicated."

"That would use up way too much magic," Magnus reminded her.

"I know. Just saying. But creating a spare room is the least I can do. Since no way are we sharing, Wayland."