A/N: If anybody is just jumping to the latest chapter, I actually just put up all three of the ones I hadn't crossposted from ao3, so the new updates from today started on chapter 5.

Dib was making spaghetti when Gir emerged from the toilet, dog suit on but the hood dangling behind his neck like a hoodie.

"Hi, spiky! Making brains?"

Dib held up the bowl. "Nope, spaghetti." Pasta with no sauce was one of the few things Zim could choke down that wasn't snack food or waffles, so Dib had gotten used to it. He'd tried irken snacks a few times, and every one had it taken a week for his taste buds to recover. (Except for the one that was basically fun dip, but Zim refused to share it with anyone but Gir, so it was off the table anyways.)

"Oooh, smells wheaty!" Gir crawled up Dib like he was a tree, settling on his shoulder. "Whazzit for?"

"Zim and I. He's down in the lab right now. He's been looking for you, actually."

Gir grabbed the spoon out of Dib's hands, sticking the bottom in his mouth like a lollipop. "Aww, Master missed me? That's so sweet!"

"He has something to tell you- hey!"

Gir had grabbed Dib by the hair-spike and leaped off his shoulder, dragging him down towards the trash entrance to the lab. He groaned as the spaghetti splattered against the floor. "Aw man, I was almost done too…"

"Gonna get some newsies, hope that it's a doozies, Master's made of chocolate and Dib's too tall," Gir sang to himself, and Dib managed to open the trash can lid with his food before Gir pulled him in.

"I still don't get how you're that strong," Dib said, landing on his back and pushing himself back up. At least the elevator got a lot bigger once you got through the entrance, but being over six feet made it a squeeze to get to that point.

"I'm fulla protein!" Gir exclaimed, proudly sticking his chest out and making the zipper bounce against the fabric. "Peanut butter and all!"

Dib flicked his antenna. "I'm sure you are." He was pretty sure he smelled something nutty coming from Gir's head, so for all he knew the little robot was telling the truth.

Gir flopped down on his belly. "You got any fruit?"

"I'm not a tree." Dib said, lifting Gir up like he was a child, resting him against his chest with his arm under Gir's butt. His disguise had some sort of sticky gross substance coating it, but it usually made him happy to be played with, and a happy Gir was much more tolerable than a screaming one. Dib's ears still hurt sometimes from the four-hour screaming marathon after an Angry Monkey rerun had been canceled for a special news bulletin three months ago. Gir giggled, batting at Dib's coat collar.

"Says you."

"Yeah, says me." He bounced Gir a little, who patted at his cheeks.

"I like your face."

"Thanks." The elevator slowed to a stop, and Zim spun around in his chair.

"Gir, there you are!"

"Hiya!" Gir did a somersault out of Dib's arms, running over to Zim before landing directly in his lap. "The cows're big gossips. Said the bacon is all tied up and the chicken legs are overcooked."

"So they've achieved speech? That's ahead of schedule!" Zim grinned. "Good work, Gir!"

Gir beamed at the praise. "And Dibby said you had something you wanted to saaaaaay? Am I getting a promotion to head cheese?"

"Oh, did he?" Zim glanced up, and Dib shrugged, leaning against the wall.

"Hey, he's your robot, you tell him."

Zim cleared his throat. "Gir, you know what smeets are, no?"

Gir stuck his tongue out as he thought. "Hmmm…. babies but made of green beans?"

"Yes, they're irken babies." Zim said. "I've begun with the process of making one."

Gir's eyes glowed brighter than usual. "You're buildin' a baby?"

"I suppose you could put it that-"

"Where?"

"Right here, in my-"

"Where?"

"It's just in my-"

"Where is it?"

Zim waited for a moment to see if Gir was going to ask again before patting at his side. "It's going to be growing in my lower spooch."

Gir squeezed Zim's hips, hard. "Hiya! I'm your biiiiiig brother!"

Zim tried to push him off. "Gir, it won't be related to you, only to-"

"Of course it'll be your brother." Dib cut in, seeing the building tears in the robot's eyes before Zim did and wanting to cut off a tantrum before it started. "But you've gotta be careful with it, okay? It's not going to be as tough as Zim is."

Gir nodded, eyes flashing red for a moment. "Understood!" He went back to normal, nuzzling his cheek against Zim's chest. "We're a big happy family, like those ones on tv where they all yell at each other but hug it out after twen'y minutes!"

Dib chuckled. "Yeah. That's definitely us."

A/N: I actually made art for this one! shadowofthelamp dot tumblr dot com / post / 187244254526 / i-never-actually-decided-on-an-older-dib-design

Just replace the dots with . and delete the spaces.