A/N: So, uh... I completely forgot that I was putting this fic on ffnet too. I'll try to just copy over a bunch of chapters and then upload one a day until we catch up. If you want to see more, my ao3 is shadowofthelamp. That upload also has links to a ton of fanart in the author's notes. I did end up doing the contest and it was fun. If you just want to get a chapter a day, then feel free to stick around. Reviews appreciated! I also take asks about the fic on my tumblr over on shadowofthelamp, but beware spoilers since again, the ao3 upload is a lot further along than this one.

Dib woke up to Zim settled on his legs.

That wouldn't be that weird, except he was still at home. Dib reached for his glasses. "Zim?"

"Finally. I can't believe you can sleep so long when there's work to do!"

"What work? Did you break in through the window?" Dib yawned, adjusting his glasses to see Zim flipping through a stack of papers.

"No, I used the front door. I rewired it ages ago. We need to get supplies for the smeet."

"Oh, okay. Wait, you rewired the front door?"

"I knew I'd need to come get you at some point." Zim flippantly waved a hand. "If you didn't want it to be reprogrammed, you shouldn't have made so easy to do."

"It isn't easy for literally anyone else," Dib grumbled. "Don't use that for evil- Dad's lab downstairs still is only locked to me and Gaz."

"That's what you think."

"Oh, come on!"

Zim snickered. "I wanted to see what you were bragging about, when you were at wooooooooork." He dragged the word out for about four extra syllables. "Frankly, most of it was nothing to write home about. Now, I had Gir gather coupons from the…" He practically hissed the next words. "The mall ."

"Alright, do you want me to drive or are we walking?" Dib rolled out of bed, stretching. "And for your information, most of the stuff Dad and I bring home are the ones that aren't working out as well, so you didn't see the best of it."

"I'm not getting into your death-trap of a vehicle, we will walk." Zim tilted his head at seeing Dib's body on full display. At the moment, he was only wearing a pair of star-patterned boxers. Little scars decorated over his skin under the sparse chest hair, as well as a few smaller burns on his wrists. Zim sort of remembered Dib griping about building a fire-fighting robot that kept setting itself on fire on accident. He licked his lips as Dib pulled on a t-shirt.

It was always nice to see his handiwork decorating Dib like little trophies- he needed to give him some more good bites. He'd been too busy, had forgotten how much he belonged to Zim.

"Fair enough. Finding parking is always hell anyways." Dib tugged on some pants and his favorite boots. "Do you need anything to eat? You said you could eat the dry cereal right?"

Zim crossed his arms. "I don't need your pity food- I have enough of my own."

"Alright, but you have to wait for me to eat first." Dib hopped up on the banister, sliding down it with ease while Zim used the stairs. "Did Gaz see you?"

"Dib. Your boyfriend's here," Gaz said as Dib entered the kitchen, twirling a piece of pancake into mush.

"Okay, I guess she did." Dib grabbed a bowl of chocolate puffs and poured it, kicking out a chair for Zim. Zim decided to sit on top of the table instead.

"Get your alien butt off the table," Gaz said, raising her head a little at Zim.

"No, I like it up here." Zim crossed his legs, turning to look at her.

"You're not going to like my fist in your face. That's Dad's seat."

"He's not here right now, is he?"

Gaz's grip on her fork tightened, and Zim slid off the table and into the chair Dib had offered. She went back to her pancakes, and for a few moments, there was only the sound of chewing.

"So, you're pregnant?" Gaz leaned her elbows on the table.

Zim set a hand on his stomach, tilting away from her slightly. "What's it to you?"

"It's going to be my niece or nephew, that's what. It is Dib's, right?"

"Gaz!"

"What? I know you two are all gaga for each other, but I don't know if it's some weird alien thing where he can reproduce by budding."

"It is Dib's, yes," Zim confirmed. Gaz nodded, seemingly satisfied.

"Don't expect me to babysit."

"You're still finishing up skool, I didn't expect you to," Dib said. "This is our responsibility… and I'm pretty excited to study how they bridge the gap between- oof!" Zim had forcefully elbowed him in the ribs, making him spit milk and bits of cocoa across the table.

"What the Dib means to say is that your services won't be necessary, I am perfectly capable of raising a little meatling on my own, especially with him to order around."

Dib wiped at his mouth. "Geez, I'm the dad, I'm still going to be as involved as possible. It's just a great opportunity for research. You were thinking it too, don't deny it."

"If they become the general of my hybrid army, that's neither here nor there."

"Riiiiight. Sure, space boy." Dib went back to his cereal, and Zim started tapping his fingers against the table.

Gaz stood up first, putting her dishes away before crouching in front of Zim. "I want to see."

"Mmm?"

"It's not growing in your head or something like that, right? I want to see."

"No, that would just be ridiculous," Zim scoffed. He shifted on the chair so Gaz could see the bump, and she set her fingertips over it. "I didn't say you could touch it-"

"Huh, so it's not all squirmy and buggy. I expected it to be weirder." She flattened her palm for a moment before pulling away, looking at Dib. "Have you told Dad yet?"

Dib sunk down in his seat a little. "I'm… waiting for the right moment."

"Well, that's your problem." She shrugged, nudging her chair in with her elbow. "If he kicks you out, I get your room."

"He's not going to kick me out!" Dib ran a hand through his hair, the scythe bouncing up as he did. "I mean, he was so happy to see me getting along with Zim, and he's actually talking to me at work, he wouldn't… he said he started planning me when he was like twenty, remember? And he was alone then, I have Zim."

"Yeah, but he was also already famous then." Gaz pointed out. "Whatever, you knocked him up, you deal with it."

Dib sunk down in his seat. "Gee, thanks."

Zim tugged at Dib's shirt. "I have some spare rooms… once we disinfected you, you could stay there."

Dib turned to him. "That's… really nice of you, actually, but I'm sure it'll be fine." He stood up, dumping the rest of his breakfast in the sink and watched the milk swirl down the drain. "Come on, let's go."

Dib grabbed his coat out of the front closet- he'd had to get twelve different trench coats over the years from various incidents. Seven had involved Zim. He checked the pockets- yep, his wallet was still in there. He pushed the door open, Zim scurrying through it.

"So, we'll need clothes, a crib, probably some toys…" Dib started counting off on his fingers. "Maybe some food? I don't know how long that stuff would last. You can't breastfeed, right?"

"You're really asking that?" Zim grimaced.

"I'll take that as a no." Dib held out his hands. "Let me see those coupons." Zim passed them over, and Dib rifled through them. "Okay, this is just for furniture, this one's for toys… fast food… oh, we can use this one, this one, maybe this one… this one's just cut out of the comics page."

"I can make the crib. I'd rather it can hover so I can carry it around."

"That's… not a bad idea, actually," Dib admitted. "But you're really loud, wouldn't that wake it up?"

Zim grinned. "Soundproofing shield. I used one on Gir's doghouse in the lower base."

"Why do you even have a doghouse inside the base? It's not like anyone is going to see it."

"Gir insisted," Zim mumbled, and Dib smirked.

"He's got you wrapped around his little finger."

"He does not! It was a simple matter of sliding blueprints into the computer and having it build it, it was much easier than listening to him whine."

"Sure, sure." Dib said, hands stuffed into his coat's pockets. "I don't know how differently I would have turned out of my dad hadn't pretty much let me raise myself from the age of six. Less neurotic, probably. Being a little indulgent probably a good trait to have with a baby. "

"Of course it's good," Zim puffed his chest out.

"Although it is you, so constant exposure might mess them up," Dib added, and Zim let out a little annoyed hiss.

Dib ruffled his wig, knocking it slightly askew, and Zim hurriedly straightened it. "Maybe you should get a new wig- or a coat. People are going to look at you weird the further along you get. That, or they'll think you're a girl."

Zim scoffed. "I am not a girl. I'll dig out my old alternate disguise."

"The brown coat? That'll probably work." Dib thought for a moment. "My offer to lend you some of my old stuff is still on the table. It's probably looser than your uniform and we did used to be about the same size. Most of it's buried in the back of my closet."

"Not on your life." Zim turned up his face away from Dib, as if the very idea was a smelly dead fish. They walked in relative quiet for a minute before Zim groaned.

"Ugh, stupid weight… can't even use my legs in the middle of the street…"

Dib quirked an eyebrow. "Tired already?"

"What's it to you?"

"There's a bench over there, we can sit down. You walked over to my house, right?"

Zim hugged himself. "You don't need to coddle me."

"I've got the whole day free, it's okay. We're going to be walking around in the mall."

Zim let out a long groan before stomping over and slumping down on the bench. He kicked his feet as Dib sat down next to him. "I hate this… this… being weak-y."

"You're not weak, just annoying sometimes." Dib nudged him. "Almost halfway through anyways, right?"

Zim huffed. "It better be. If your humanness makes it take longer, you're target practice for the new cheese gun I'm testing out."

"Cheese gun?"

"It turns things into cheese. Much more humiliating than simply being disassembled, no?"

"Yeah, that is worse." Dib leaned back. "Any other new side effects that have popped up yet?"

Zim shook his head. "Nothing that I can't handle."

"That's good. I still can't believe it started moving the other day."

"It felt like a swarm of bugs in my spooch," Zim said. "It couldn't be more than one, could it?" He sat still for a moment, and Dib saw his Pak briefly flash once. "Good, it's only one."

"Throws out my ideas for naming them Dib and Zim Junior." Dib laughed, but Zim tapped his chin.

"Zim Junior, eh?"

"Zim, I'm kidding. I'm not inflicting that on a poor helpless kid."

"No, no, I like it."

"We're not naming the kid 'Zim junior'!'"

"Zim two?"

"That's even worse!"

"You're no fun, do you know that?"

Dib tilted his head up to the sky, feeling the back of his skull brush the top of the bench. "We do need to think of names at some point though. Can your Pak tell you if it's a boy or a girl?"

Zim thought for a moment. "Not yet."

"Okay, maybe we can just pick one of each then."

"Zim is quite gender-neutral."

"We're not naming them after you!"

"Miz is good too-"

"Okay, naming conversation over until you're done with the ego-trip."

Zim just gave Dib a wide grin.