Disclaimer: I own nothing except for my OC Silverstream and any alterations to the original storyline plot her presence creates yo various readers amusement everywhere across the globe.
Mutant Heart And Mutant Soul Chapter 16
The pain was bewildering. Exactly that. I was bewildered. I couldn't understand, couldn't make sense of what was happening. My body tried to reject the pain, and I was sucked again and again into a blackness that cut out whole seconds or maybe even minutes of the agony, making it much harder to keep up with reality.
I tried to separate them. Non-reality was black and it didn't hurt so much. Reality was red, and it felt like I was being sawed in half, hit by a bus, punched by a prize fighter, trampled by bulls, and submerged in acid all at the same time. The reality was feeling my body twist and flip when I couldn't possibly move because of the pain. Reality was knowing there was something so much more important than all this torture, and not being able to remember what it was. Reality had come on so fast.
One moment everything was as it should have been. Surrounded by people I loved. Smiles. Somehow unlikely as it was, it seemed like I was about to get everything I'd been fighting for. And then one tiny, inconsequential thing had gone wrong.
I'd watched as my cup tilted tea spilling out and staining the perfect white, and I'd lurched toward the accident reflexively. I'd seen the other faster hands, but my body had continued to reach, to stretch out. Inside me something had yanked the opposite direction. Ripping. Breaking. Agony. The darkness had taken over, and then washed away to a wave of torture. I couldn't breathe and I had drowned once before, and this was different, it was too hot in my throat. Pieces of me shattering, snapping, and slicing apart. More blackness.
Voices this time, shouting, as the pain returns tenfold.
"The placenta must have detached!"
Something sharper than knives ripped through me - the words, making sense despite of the other tortures. Detached placenta-I knew what that meant. It meant that my baby was dying inside of me.
"Get her out!" I screamed to Logan. "She can't breathe! Do it now!"
"The morphine-." He wanted to wait, to give me painkillers, while our baby was dying!
"No! Now-," I choked, unable to finish.
Black spots covered the light in the room as a cold point of new pain stabbed icily into my stomach. It felt wrong-I struggled automatically to protect my womb, my baby, my little one, but I was weak. My lungs ached, oxygen burned away. The pain faded away again, though I clung to it now. My baby, my baby, my darling baby dying.
How long had passes? Seconds or minutes? The pain was gone. Numb. I couldn't feel. I couldn't see either, but I could hear. There was air in my lungs again, scraping in rough bubbles up and down my throat.
"You stay with me now, Silver! Do you hear me? Stay! You're not leaving me. Keep your heart beating!"
Logan? Logan, still here, still was trying to save me. Of course, I wanted to tell him. Of course I would keep my heart beating. Hadn't I promised them all?
I tried to feel my heart, to find it, but I was so lost inside my own body. I couldn't feel the things I should, and nothing felt in the right place. I blinked and I found my eyes. I could see the light. Not what I was looking for but better than nothing.
As my eyes struggled to adjust, Scott whispered "Logan, a boy."
The last sound I could barely make out, but I heard it.
A boy? Not the beautiful and perfect little girl I had wanted. I felt a moment of shock and then a flow of warmth, a boy. I willed my lips to move, willed the bubble of air to turn into whispers on my tongue.
I forced my numb hands to reach out, saying "Let me… Give him to me."
The light danced, shattering off Logan's hands. The sparkles were tinged with red, with the blood that covered his skin. And more red in his hands. Something small and struggling, dripping with blood. He touched the warn body to my weak arms, almost like I was holding him. His wet skin was hot – as warm as Logans. My eyes focused; suddenly everything was absolutely clear.
My son did not cry, but he breathed in quick, startled pants. His eyes were open, his expression so shocked it was almost funny. The little, perfectly round head was covered in a thick layer of matted, bloody curls. His eyes were a familiar – but astonishing aqua blue. Under the blood, his skin looked pale, a creamy ivory. All besides his cheeks which flamed with color. His tiny face was so absolutely perfect that it stunned me. He was even more beautiful than his father. Unbelievable. Impossible.
"My son," I whispered. "So… beautiful."
The impossible face suddenly smiled – a wide, deliberate smile. Behind the shell – pink lips was a full complement of tiny teeth. He leaned his head down, against my chest, burrowing against the warmth. His skin was warm and silky, but it didn't give the way mind did. Then there was pain again and I gasp, groaning in agony. And she was gone. My angel – faced baby was nowhere. I couldn't see or feel him. No! I wanted to shout. Give him back to me!
But the weakness was too much. My arms felt like empty rubber horses for a moment, and then they felt like nothing at all. I couldn't feel them. I couldn't feel me. The blackness rushed over my eyes more solidly than before. Like a thick blindfold, firm and fast. Covering not just my eyes but also myself with crushing weight. It was exhausting to push against it. I knew it would be so much easier to give in. To let the blackness push me down, down, down to a place where there was no pain with no weariness, no worry, and no fear. If it had only been for me, I wouldn't have been able to struggle very long. I was only human, with no more than human strength. I'd been trying to keep up with the supernatural for too long. But this wasn't about me. If I did now the easy thing let the black nothingness erase me, I would hurt them.
Logan. Logan. My life and his were twisted into a single strand. Cut one and you cut both. If he were gone, I would not be able to live through that. If I were gone, he wouldn't live through it, either. And a world without Logan seemed completely pointless. Logan had to exist. He'd stayed for me, despite everything. Now all he asked for was that I stayed for him.
But it was so dark here that I couldn't see either of their faces. Nothing seemed real. That made it hard not to give up. I kept pushing against the black, though almost a reflex. I wasn't trying to lift it. I was just resisting. Not allowing it to crush me completely. I wasn't that strong, and the black felt as heavy as a planet; I couldn't shoulder it. All I could do was not entirely be obliterated by it.
It was sort of the pattern to my life – I'd never been strong enough to deal with the things outside my control, to attack the enemies or outrun them. To avoid the pain always human and weak, the only thing I'd ever been able to do was keep going. Endure. Survive.
It had been enough up to this point. It would have to be enough today. I would endure this until help came. I knew Logan would be doing everything he could. He would not give up and neither would I. I held the blackness of nonexistence at bay by mere inches.
It wasn't enough though – that determination. As the time ground on and the darkness gained by tiny eighths and sixteenths of my inches. I needed something more to draw strength from. I couldn't even pull Logans face into view. Not Scotts, not Kurts or Jeans, the Professors or Storms or Rogues or Gambits or Jubilees. Nothing. It terrified me and I wondered if it was too late.
I felt myself slipping – there was nothing to hold on to. No! I had to survive this. Logan was depending on me. Kurt. The Professor Scott Jean Rogue Gambit Storm Jubilee… My son.
And then, though I still couldn't see anything, suddenly I could feel something. Like phantom limbs, I imagined I could feel my arms again. And in them, something small and hard and very, very warm. My baby, my little nudger. I had done it. Against the odds, I had been strong enough to survive my son, to hold onto him until he was strong enough to live without me.
The spot of heat in my phantom arms felt so real. I clutched it closer. It was exactly where my heart should be. Holding tight the warm memory of my son, I knew that I would be able to fight the darkness as long as I needed to.
It could have been seconds or days, weeks or years, but eventually time came to mean something again. Ones of Logan and our friends. Eventually I was conscious enough to have my hearing back but I was still deep onto the darkness. At one point I could hear a voice speaking to me from a distance far, far away. I was strong enough now to pull myself to it and return to the world in which I came. The voice belonged to Logan and once I returned I could hear him and anyone else there a lot more easily than I had ever before.
Three things were happening all together, grew from each other so that I didn't know which came first: time started again, the morphine's weight faded and I got stronger. I could feel the control of my body come back to me in increments, and those increments were my first markers of time passing. I knew it when I was able to twitch my toes and twist my fingers into fists. I knew it, but I did not act on it. I could remember why I shouldn't scream. I could remember the reason why I'd committed to enduring this unendurable agony. I could remember that, though it felt impossible now, there was something that might be worth the torture.
This happened just in time for me to hold on when the weights left my body. To anyone watching me, there would be no change. But for me, as I struggled to keep the screams and thrashing locked up inside my body, to a stake as I burned, to gripping that stake to hold myself in the fire. I had just enough strength to lie there unmoving while I was charred alive.
As was said before my hearing got clearer and clearer, and I could count the frantic, pounding beats of my heart to mark the time. I could count the shallow breaths that gasped through my teeth. I continued to get stronger, my thoughts clearer. When new noises came, I could listen to them.
There were light footsteps, the whisper of air stirred by an opening door. The footsteps got closer, and I felt pressure against the inside of my wrist. I couldn't feel the coolness of the fingers. The fire blistered away every memory of cool.
This was one I could hear the voices I spoke of before.
"Still no change?"
"None."
The lightest breath against my scorched skin.
"There's no trace of the morphine left."
"I know."
"Silver? Can you hear me?"
I knew beyond all doubt, that if I unlocked my teeth I would lose it. I would shriek, screech, writhe, and thrash. If I opened my eyes, if I so much as twitched a finger, any change would be the end of my control.
"Silver? Silver, Love? Can you open your eyes? Can you squeeze my hand?"
Pressure on my fingers, it was harden not to answer this voice, but I stayed paralyzed. I knew the pain in his voice now was nothing compared to what it could be. Right now Logan only feared that I was suffering.
"Maybe… Hank, maybe I was too late."
His voice was muffled; it broke on the word late. My resolve wavered for a second.
"Listen to her heart, Logan. It's even stronger than it was before. I've never heard anything so vital. She'll be perfect."
Yes I was right to keep my silence. Hank would be able to reassure him. He didn't need to suffer with me.
"And her spine?"
"Logan, her injuries are healing incredibly fast, I can't find any explanation for it. The only other case I've seen with healing abilities as fast as this is you Logan."
"But she's so still. I must have done something wrong."
"Or something right, Logan. You did everything I could have done and more. I'm not sure I would have the persistence, the faith it took to save her. Stop berating yourself. Silver is going to be fine."
A broken whisper.
"She must be in agony." "
We don't know that. She had so much morphine in her system. We don't know the effect it will have on her."
Faint pressure inside the crease of my elbow, another whisper.
"Silver, I love you. Silver, I'm sorry."
I wanted so much to answer him, but I wouldn't make his pain worse. Now while I had the strength to hold myself still. Through all this the pain went right on going through me. There was so much space in my head now. Room to ponder their conversation, room to remember what had happened, room to look ahead to the future, with still endless room left over to suffer in.
Also there was room to worry. Where was my baby? Why wasn't her here? Why weren't they talking about him?
"No, I'm staying right here," Logan whispered, answering an unspoken thought. Then I could hear no one else.
Time goes by once again and then suddenly the pain just went away. For a moment the absence of pain was all I could comprehend. And then I opened my eyes and gazed above me in wonder. Things were a little blurry at first so I had to blink a few times so I could clear my vision.
As soon as I started to blink my eyes I heard someone speak.
"She's waking up."
It sounds like it was Jubilee. Once my vision was clear I could see where I am. I found myself in the infirmary on one of the beds and that many of my companions had surrounded me. As soon as he heard I was wake Logan pushed right through the others to get to me.
"Hey," he said.
Smiling back, I said "Hey."
He then leaned down to give me a kiss and I kiss him back. Someone coughs and the two of us reluctantly separated from each other. Gambit was hiding a smile behind one of his hands so Logan and I both assumed he was the one who coughed. The two of us both gave him a look and Gambit held out his hands palms up in self-defense. Although I wanted to give Gambit a piece of my mind at that moment my attention was unfortunately focused on someone else.
The Professor had moved through the other in his hover chair at get beside Logan next to the bed in which I laid.
"How are you feeling my dear," he said.
I smiled at the Professor and it brought a happy look into my eyes.
I said "As is to be expected Professor. How long have I been out?"
"Not that long only a few days," said Beast.
It was Beast who had answered me this time. This caught me by surprise. I hadn't expected myself to heal so quickly, my injuries had been so severe I hadn't expected myself to survive it. The strain was too much on me it was expected to be the outcome for me in my mind. And for me if I did survive the battle for my life the time for me to fully heal was expected to be in a few months or weeks, not days.
A frown appeared on my face when I heard Beasts words.
I said "But that's impossible." No one spoke for a few moments, not even Logan. I could see on all of their faces that something was bothering them and it must've been quite serious. The reason for this is because of the expressions there wore on their faces and I didn't like the look of them one bit. "Is something wrong?"
None of them answered my question, but instead countered with one of their own. It was the Professor who asked it.
He said "Tell us, what you remember of your ordeal, Silverstream?"
I didn't like this although it was expected I especially didn't want to go over this. Especially not after I had just come out of it, but I had felt the need to comply at this point. I couldn't remember much and I had brought my hands up to my face in frustration trying to remember what I could.
"Silver," said Logan, voice was full of concern when he spoke to me.
It took a moment to regain my composure and spoke with what I had.
I said "All I remember is unbearable pain going through my body. The baby couldn't breathe…"
I broke off from what I was saying and looked up at Logan with fear and horror in my eyes. Logan answered my question seconds before it was said.
"Our son is fine. He's asleep in the nursery," he assured.
I let out a huge sigh of relief. My baby was safe and he is alive. A moment later I turned my attention back to Logan with a smile on my lips.
"Guess we're going to have to change the wallpaper after all," I said.
Another smile formed on his lips but unlike the other one this smile did not reach his eyes. This brought me back to me back to my original question and this time I wasn't going to leave it unanswered. When I brought it up again I gave them all a look that said I wasn't going to take any nonsense from them this time.
Logan took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
He said "Silver, you're going through some changes."
"Do these changes explain why I have healed so extraordinarily fast," I said.
He nodded his head at me. I said "Well on with it. tell me."
Logan didn't know what to say so he turned to the others for support.
Beast was the one who came to his rescue.
He said "Your body regenerated itself incredibly fast. It is very rare to witness a body heal itself so quickly. The only people I know with this kind of ability are Sabertooth and the man you see here."
He referred to Logan as he spoke.
I said "So you're saying I have the same kind of regenerative ability in my system?"
Beast nodded his head at me. I was starting to feel uneasy by what I had just heard.
"But how can this be? I have never experienced anything like this in my life besides the time of my pregnancy with the baby," I said, flabbergasted
"There's something else, Silverstream. You're undergoing some other changes as well," Nightcrawler said.
I said "And what kind for changes might those be?"
Beast answered my question again.
He said "Your muscles have hardened. Your body has grown stronger along with its healing. You will gain strength you haven't had before. Not only will that but along with this strength you will become faster in your speed and your original power have become magnified ten-fold."
I took in a shaky breath and let it out slowly.
Jubilee said "We haven't found the cause of this. At least not yet."
"But we will find it eventually, Silverstream," Scott said.
I said "There's no need to think I already know. I had thought it had passed me, but it seems it has not. It just seems to have taken longer to take effect than expected."
In moments they had all figured out what I had meant by this statement of mine.
Scott and Jean were the first ones to realize what I meant and to speak of it.
They both said "Sinister."
The two of them had disgusted looks on their faces.
"Of course we should've known. How we could have been so blind," Logan said. Logan spoke with gritted teeth and his hands formed into fists were shaking. Logan was trying very hard to hold back his temper at this point. To calm him down I put my hands on his and as soon as he felt my touch he calmed down straight away. He took in some deep breathes to help this succeed. Once he was calm we were all able to strike up our conversation again.
Beast said "Now that I think about it, it does make quite a lot of sense. But I can't see any explanation of why the transformation would take so long."
"In order for the body to change it would take some time. A transformation like this would take far more than a day," Nightcrawler said.
Jean said "If we know Sinister he always finds a way to get what he wants. No matter what methods he uses to get it."
At that moment a thought struck me and it came immediately to my attention. My eyes widened, the expression of horror and fear returned to my face as this occurred.
"The baby? What about the baby," I said.
None of them answered me this time. They only looked at me with sad eyes.
"Oh god, don't tell me he was affected too," I shrieked, terrified.
The Professor said "I'm afraid he was, Silverstream, but not in the way that you think."
"What do you mean," I asked.
The Professor turned his gaze over to Rogue and without saying anything she left the room with Gambit following her close behind. Jean and Jubilee saw the distress form on my face and quickly went to explain things.
"He hasn't gone through the same changes as you, Silverstream," said Jubilee.
"He like his parents is a mutant, but his abilities have advanced even beyond the normal mutant," explained Jean.
"Also you should know he's no ordinary baby and not just because he's a mutant," said Jean.
Right then Gambit walked in with Rogue coming in behind him. In her arms was the bundle I had waited so long to see in a large soft blanket. As soon as I saw it I held out my arms for it and. Rogue passed on the baby to me. My child was asleep at the time but I could get a good look at his face. He had the cutest little face and the fattest little cheeks I had ever seen. He had a small tuft of hair on his head. I touched it and could feel the soft spot that was still on his head. His hair was a grayish color mixed with Logan's and my own. His skin was in the shape of Logan's. Our son's skin and the rest of his face took after me. I smiled, tears coming to my eyes and gave my son a soft gentle kiss on the forehead.
"My son," I whispered.
My little note of affection broke into his sleep and my son started to wake up. He stretched out his arms and then opened his eyes. His eyes were blue but of a darker shade than mine. The only thing he had of me was my eyes. The rest showed that he favored Logan. His chin was exactly the same shape and so was his nose. Besides my eyes he nearly looked like his father. I smiled down at him and to my surprise he smiled right back. When he did he stretched out a hand toward me and touched my face. A moment later something very strange happened. An image suddenly flashed through my mind. It was me so still and deathly pale. I gasped and nearly dropped the baby but I managed to keep him in my arms until the image faded from my mind. I looked at the others with complete shock on my face.
"What the heck was that," I said.
Leaning forward in his chair, The Professor said "What did he show you?"
"He showed me that," I said, eyes wide.
The Professor said "As we said before, your son has gone through different changes than yourself. But some will be the same as yours since he shares your blood."
"He showed me an image of myself, but I looked terrible," I said, depressed.
"He's using the earliest memory he has of you to show that he knows you," Logan said.
I looked back down at my son and gave him a smile of my own.
"I remember you too," I said, gave him a kiss on the head.
Jubilee said "What are you gonna call him?"
Logan and I turned to each other with surprised looks on our faces.
"We don't really know. We never got that far," Logan said.
Scott said "But you do have some choices? Right?"
"The only names I picked out were for a girl and those aren't going to do us any good now," I said.
While I was holding the baby we all tried to think of some names to give him. We came up with some names like Lex, Ben, Harry, Dan, Jacob, Emmet, and Carl but those didn't fit him at all. It took us the best part of an hour just to try and think up those.
Then finally when it seemed like forever the perfect name had finally came to mind. Gambit was the one who thought of it in the first place. Right when it came into his head eh snapped his fingers and turned to us with a huge grin on his face.
He said "That's it I've got the perfect one. What about the name Van?"
Logan and I raised our eyebrows and spoke up at the same time.
"Van," we both said.
"Where'd you come up with that sugar," Rogue said.
Gambit said "The main character in one of my favorite movies had that name. I thought it would be a good one for him."
I try out the name rolling it out on my tongue.
"Van… Van," I said, as I looked down at my son.
"Do you like the name," I asked him.
He smiled up at me and brought his hand back up to my face. Even though I was prepared for what was coming I still gasped in surprised as images flashed through my mind, which gave me his answer.
I turned to the others after it was over.
"He likes it," I said to the others.
Logan brought his hand to his chin. "Van Logan," he said thoughtfully.
It was as if he was trying out the name himself. After a few moments he managed a smile too.
He said "Sounds good, but there's something else we need to discuss."
Blinking and cocking my head at him, I said "What is that?"
Logan's face not turned serious, he got off of the bed and knelt at its side. The next thing he did was take my hand in both of his and he held it there in them.
"I should've asked you this a long time ago, Silver," he said.
It was then that I knew what he was going to do before it even happened.
"Oh my god," I said. A
few moments later Logan asked the question everyone in the room was waiting for. "Silverstream will you marry me," he said.
I was completely speechless when I heard this from him. The look on my face was completely dumbstruck by what he had just said to me.
Everyone was looking at me expectantly, including the baby. After a few seconds I finally said to Logan what everyone was waiting to hear come out of my lips.
"Yes, Logan, I will," I said.
We were finally going to become a family. I looked down at Van and saw the future the past was the past. Van was my future life now and like Logan it was my duty to protect him and bring him the best life I could possibly give him even though he is a mutant. People will reject him and try to hurt him but I will protect him the best I can against those kinds of threats and whatever danger may come in the way.
Authors Note:
Hope you all like this one! I certainly did while writing it for your vast enjoyment! ;D
I recently put up some other works I've put out at titled Secret Of Bristol Cove, The Presidents Wife, Predators Redemption, A Revolutionary Romance, Fantine Tezla: Hot Wheels Acceleracers, Magic And the Brave Little Toaster 1, Lavinia: Princess Of Edelweiss, Rorschach's Legend, Watchmen Meets Avengers: The Newest Defender, The 8th Loser, Naomi Poldark: Mistress Of Nampara, Serenity: End Guardian To The Moors, Dido Cruger: Power Rangers SPD, and Nuala: The White Lioness. I highly recommend them. ;D
By the way Rorschach's Legend, the Vinsmoke Bride, The Presidents Bride, Mandalorian: The 2nd Foundling, Eira Byrnison, and Watchmen Meets Avengers: The Newest Defender are the newest additions to my profile. If you're a fan of the Golden Compass and Watchmen which are the new series on HBO then you will love these. Then if you haven't saw them yet then I recommend that you check it out. Since there are still just recently uploaded I really would enjoy hearing other peoples thoughts on the subject matter so far. So feel free to do so if you have the time.
I have other grand news! I was a patron at New York Comic Con! Ah! I'd been dying to go for years and now I had the opportunity. The Jokers from Impractical Jokers have been here along with Tom Hiddleston and so many others. Over those few days I actually got my picture taken with a couple of other actors/actresses and some really great panels. It really is so exciting there. This is an opportunity of a lifetime so there's no way in hell that I was going to waste a single second of it. No one ever should with something like this. Ever! ;D
For future preferences I highly recommend that you all keep an eye out for when tickets for New York Comic Con are available for purchase again for next year. This is a huge event and you should jump on it whenever you have the chance.