Chapter 17

Elle watched Praes stalk across the clearing with her heart in her throat. She knew this day had to come, but it was still shocking. She had somehow thought that Caius would be the one to instigate the transition, not the other way around. As soon as that thought passed through her head, she wondered if that was how it was supposed to have been, and her presence caused a change. That idea almost had her interfering, but her damned logical detective mind picked that moment to kick in, and she stopped.

What if this change was what was supposed to happen? What if he was no longer meant to become the next guardian? That would definitely stop the horrible future from happening. However, as she watched the two men stalk around each other, she had no doubt that one of them would not walk away alive, and the thought that it might be Caius made her break out in a cold sweat. She nearly fell over at the panic that gripped her. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced before.

She started to rush forward, but she was stopped by a hand on her arm. She turned to see Laer giving her a sympathetic look. His voice was pitched low enough that the crowd around them would not hear. "You can't interfere."

She glared at him and had many things she wanted to say at that moment. Somehow, she managed to swallow them down. He was right. No matter how much she wanted to, even if she tried, she would not be allowed to. This was an integral part of the city's culture, and no one would appreciate her getting involved, even if they believed her to be the voice and hands of Etro.

She closed her eyes as Praes finally lunged for Caius and tried not to be sick. She couldn't stomach the sounds of the battle and turned away. It was at that point she finally noticed she was not the only one that was unable to watch. Nor could either of them walk away. With that thought, she pushed through the crowd to stand by Yeul. The girl barely moved when Elle took her hand. Both women stood as still as statues as they listened to the sounds of the ongoing battle behind them and the crowd's reactions to it all.

Caius knew what Praes' intentions were before he stalked toward him; before he heard the words between Yeul and the guardian. He had known as soon as the man had called his name. Part of his mind knew why this had come to him now instead of allowing him the time to choose when to face his mentor. He pushed that part away, as it would do him no good right now. He also did not look back to where the woman that had been by his side was standing. He could afford no distractions.

Praes did not say anything at first. They simply stalked around each other, assessing each other, their states of mind, any chinks in their proverbial armor. It wasn't until Praes lunged that he finally spoke. "You disappoint me. I thought your dedication to Yeul was unquestionable, but I find I was wrong."

Caius clenched his teeth, both to keep them from rattling under the blow he blocked with the haft of his spear as well as to keep from saying something he did not mean. He ducked another before he responded. "Yeul has always been and will always be my first priority."

Praes snarled at his calm response. Caius nearly buckled under a flurry of quick blows, but he had sparred against Praes for years, plus his recent practice had better prepared him for this. He managed to twist away, and not only avoid the blows, but counterattack. His mentor looked almost impressed, but his scowl nearly instantly came back as he spat back his denial. "Words. That is all you offer here, and they are useless in the face of your actions. Did you think they would go unnoticed? You have grown far too attached to your charge. You have lost your objectivity."

Caius growled under the onslaught and snarled. "She has never asked me to set aside my obligations. I have never had any intentions to do such. If that is your motivation for this, it is misguided. That does not mean I will back down. If you believe I cannot or will not take up the mantle of Guardian, you are mistaken."

The current Guardian sneered as his blade nearly took off Caius' head. "It is not her that I doubt. No, what I doubt is that you could be faced with the choice of which woman to protect and choose correctly. If it came down to it, which life would you defend?"

For the first time during the fight, Caius stumbled. He had been convinced all along that his association with Elle would never keep him from taking care of Yeul when the time came. Even once Praes attacked, he planned on facing his fate with pride and not failure or shame. However, his mentor's words stole into his heart and mind and wormed their way into his core. Could he allow Elle to be harmed while he protected only Yeul? If he were faced with the choice to save solely one or the other, which would he choose?

His distraction allowed Praes to get behind his defenses. Caius grimaced as he felt the blade slice along his midsection. Still, he had managed to jump back before it had done more than catch his side. His eyes flashed when he heard a feminine gasp. He did not need to look to know it was his lover. His hands clenched the shaft of his spear until his knuckles bled white.

His gaze landed on the scowling eyes of his mentor as he pushed the pain down and stood straight. He buried the shaft of his spear in the ground, and finally grabbed the sword that he kept strapped to his back. Praes smiled momentarily when he pulled it out, but it was gone quickly. His mentor barely gave him the time to bring the blade to bear before he attacked again, and the two clashed with sparks flying.

When they parted, Praes taunted him once more. "If this is your choice, prove to me, and the Goddess that your resolve is unwavering!"

With that, he launched himself forward once again. Those were the last words spoken as the two men sought to each gain an advantage. Praes did use his power as a l'cie, both in ice and fire, but he did not have the extensive support capabilities that Elle had. Caius was surprised to find that he was able to avoid the worst of the damage. Not that he was unscathed. Comparably, neither was Praes.

The Guardian had been Guardian for many decades already, and the longer the battle went on, the more it showed. As the two men continued to fight across the square, Elle had finally turned to watch. She had found that as soon as she heard the Praes mention his reasoning for the premature attack, she could not keep from doing so, no matter how torn she was. Not knowing was worse than witnessing it. She had moved to embrace Yeul, so the girl would not have to see anything while she did so for both of them over her head.

There were many times when Elle felt her heart freeze, and her breath catch. Caius was bloody and covered in many wounds, some of which were not insignificant. Still, he did not seem to notice them. His eyes were steely, and his jaw was set. Every time he stumbled, he righted himself quickly and was on Praes before the man could finish him.

Elle could tell the older man was tiring as well. There was a point in the battle that things shifted. Despite how gruesome Caius looked, he was the one going after Praes instead of the other way around. Elle still felt her heart breaking. No outcome of this battle would be good. Though she felt a small hope at her lover's continued stamina, even if she felt guilt alongside it.

It was only years of practice at keeping her reactions smothered that helped Elle keep her scream in when the battle ended suddenly. Praes had swung at Caius with an arcing move that could have cut him in half if it had connected. Caius was effortlessly able to dodge the blow, but his mentor could not correct from the swing as quickly. Caius' blade found it's way through Praes' throat before the man had even finished the swing.

A sudden silence descended on the crowd as the current Guardian slid back off the blade and fell to the ground with a muted thud. Caius' expression was torn as he watched his long-time mentor. Praes barely managed to catch his eye, and to Caius' shock managed a smile before the light left his eyes.

As soon as life passed from Praes, a bright light engulfed both men, and Elle nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a yell from within it. Despite her resolution to not get involved, she found herself releasing Yeul and running toward it anyway. By the time she got there, the light had faded, and Caius was sitting up from where he had been laid out.

She knelt by his side and barely noticed that all of his cuts had been healed. The fact that he must now be a l'cie as well didn't even register as she tried to help him sit. He roughly pushed her hands aside as he stood. She gave him a shocked look from her kneeling position as he ignored her and turned to Yeul. He saluted the Seeress as he spoke. "Seeress, I, Paddra Sol-Caius, am proud to take up the mantle of your one true Guardian. Do you accept?"

Yeul turned to him as he spoke and took in the body of her previous guardian, the woman that was still kneeling by Caius' side with a blank face, and the man that was to be her guardian now. She did not let any of her thoughts show as she lowered her chin in acknowledgment. "I accept, Paddra Sol-Caius. From this day, until you are bested as you have bested Paddra Lor-Praes, you will be my one true Guardian."

At her acceptance, he moved to Yeul's side. "We must make arrangements for a proper memorial for the previous Guardian. In the meantime, we should return to the complex."

He had tried to turn her to leave, but she pulled from his grip and frowned at him. "Guardian, we do need to return, but until a suitable replacement can be found, we cannot leave the Emmisary unescorted."

Caius' jaw clenched, but he still turned to look back at Elle. She finally stood under his gaze. Her face was already in the blank mask that she had worn like a second skin for years, and her voice was cold but clear. "While I appreciate your concern, I have more than proven my place in this city. I can find alternative accommodations. There is no need for you to worry on my behalf any longer."

Yeul had expected her words, but she could not accept them. She was surprised that she did not have to speak. Caius did, though his voice was hard and cold. "While you may be competent, you are still a target. You cannot protect yourself while you sleep. You will stay in the complex." It looked like he had further things to add, but he bit them back and turned to Yeul. "Let us go."

As they turned to go back, two of the warriors had come to take Praes' body to follow them. Elle watched them for a moment before Laer came to her side. His voice was soft. "Let's go. We can work out the rest later. For now, it would be best for you to go with them."

Her eyes were as cold as her voice had been when she turned to him. He wasn't sure if she had something she wanted to say, but after several moments she finally nodded and turned to follow the others without a sound. He sighed and cursed himself. Maybe if he had said something, this wouldn't have happened. At least not like this. Either way, the only thing he could do was be there for his friend now. Etro only knew she was going to need a friend, even if she was too stubborn to admit it.

When the group of people made it to the Seeress' compound, Yeul and Caius oversaw the placement of Praes' body for preparation. His memorial would be held the following day, and after that, the trials for the next Apprentice would start. Once that was taken care of, all of the warriors that did not stay in the complex left, including Laer. He was not allowed to stay, even though he wanted to.

Elle was torn as they all left. Part of her wanted to go back to the room here that she had practically abandoned and not come out until they cleared her to go back out on patrols. There was another part of her that could not walk away without at least trying. Some part of her that needed to have her fears confirmed or denied. Did the look he gave her when he stood and pushed her away mean what she was afraid it did?

Her conundrum was practically solved for her when Yeul slipped into her private courtyard and told Caius she wanted to be alone. He took up a position outside the door, and Elle realized this was probably going to be the best opportunity she would have, at least for a long time.

She didn't second guess herself before she walked over to him. The look he gave her was cold, and it almost made her turn away. She cursed herself for a coward and spoke as soon as she was by his side. "I won't take much of your time, as I don't want to distract you. However, I do want to clarify something. I need to know about us. What was that back there? Can we talk about that?"

She watched as his jaw clenched several times before he finally spoke in a voice so low she had to strain to hear him. "There is nothing to talk about. There is no us. You have yourself stated that we have obligations that we cannot avoid. Time has marched on, and the pleasant tumbles we shared will have to end. I will have no time for such frivolities."

Elle felt like he had just punched her in the gut. Pleasant tumbles? Frivolities? Not lovemaking or caring, not happiness or joy, just lust. God, was she that blind this whole time? Not that she had even tried to put a label on what she felt, but she had felt something. His indifference was more painful than she expected it to be. Still, she had experience with painful things. This was not the first time life had tried to shatter her heart, and she was not one to let it break her. Her face showed none of what she felt as she stood there for several seconds.

When she was sure she would not let any trace of what she really felt show, she responded in a voice just as cold as his had been. "I do understand. Please do not feel that I was expecting anything further than clarification. Do not fear that I will bother you again." She did not wait for any other response before she turned on her heel and walked back to her room.

Had she paused just a moment, she might have caught the flash of anguish that passed through lavender eyes as they watched her mask everything she felt. Knowing full well that it was a mask and not the truth at all, and that for once, he was the cause of its creation, and not its destruction.

The following day was a day of mourning. It seemed as though the whole city gathered on top of the plateau to give the previous Guardian a proper send-off. A pyre had been built the night before, and Praes' body was laid atop it after a long procession made its way up to and across the farmlands. Once he was placed, four l'cie stood at each corner and sent a jet of flames to start the pyre burning.

Elle had been asked to be one of them by Yeul. She wasn't sure she had any right to the honor, as she and Praes had a working relationship at best, but she had accepted when the girl insisted the man may not have been her friend, but he did respect her.

Not everyone stayed as the fire burned to ashes, but Yuel and her retinue did not move as the sun traveled through the sky and into dusk. Full dark had finally fallen when the last of the embers died into ash, and Yeul lowered her head to send a prayer that Praes' soul would successfully pass through the unseen realm.

Once her prayer was sent, she turned back to go back for the night. As the moon was not yet up, Elle offered to light their way. She still did not look at Caius, but Yeul was appreciative of the offer. The walk back was silent.

The following day was the start of the trials for the new Apprentice. Yeul did not have any say in the matter, as it was one of Caius' new responsibilities. He did have the prerogative to simply choose someone if he felt they were worthy, as Praes had chosen him. Barring a person he felt stood above all others, this was the way to eliminate all but the most laudable. It was not just tests of strength and skill, but there were also situational tests presented that would force each person to make choices. Those choices would allow Caius to decide whether or not he felt they could become the kind of person that would make a good Guardian in time.

In addition to all of this, there were, of course, hand-to-hand elimination tests. Those did not hold as much weight as some of the others, but they were held first to reduce the number of candidates down to a reasonable quantity. It was no shock when the only ones remaining were Laer, Ingens, Mirus, and another man that Elle was not as familiar with named Gareth.

Over the next few days, the tests played out. Yeul watched silently by Caius' side, and Elle was with them as well. Not that she wanted to be, but Yeul had convinced her that it would do the city good to see her there at the choosing, especially with how the transition happened.

At least Elle was practiced at not showing anything, so if there were any that might have wondered if there had been a basis for the accusations Praes had used, most let them go. The two of them did not avoid each other, though their interactions were all professional only. It wasn't as though they had a choice since they would have to work together, at least part of the time.

As for the tests, the unknown man, Gareth, was eliminated on the first day. He had shown he was ruthless and nearly killed one of the examiners, but that wasn't the issue. No, the problem was that he had gotten so involved in the fight that he had lost track of the object he was supposed to have been protecting, and it was destroyed. He didn't even notice until everything was settled. That did not bode well for his ability to defend anything or anyone, despite his skill as a fighter.

As for the other three, it was a much more difficult choice. All three had experience leading men, whether it was training others or on patrols. That meant they each also had experience knowing how to watch each other's backs and proved that fact throughout many tests. In the end, it came down to a matter of skills, weaknesses, and strengths.

Despite how much Elle hated it when Ingens ended up being the man chosen, she could understand why. He was on par with his brother and slightly more skilled in hand-to-hand than Laer, but it was his quiet observance, his ability to asses dangers that were not easily noticed that gave him the edge.

At the end of the week, there was a ceremony to officially declare the new Apprentice to the city. Thankfully it was not a drawn-out affair, and Elle was grateful to be following the group back to the compound. Now that it was all over, she was ready to get back in the field. She was more than tired of being cooped up, but more than that, she just needed out. She needed to get away from Caius. No matter how much she was able to hide from others, that didn't mean she wasn't feeling anything, and it was starting to drive her mad. Hopefully, she would soon get the break she needed.

A/N: I know, and it'll be a bit before it gets better, but I promise it will be worth it in the end. Plus, these two are too stubborn. Also, we are probably about 2/3, maybe 3/4 of the way through. I know that will make this a short one, but the rest of the chapters should be pretty intense. I hope you all enjoy and thank you for reading. Let me know what you think so far :)