Entering the apartment Carisi walks towards the kitchen grabbing a glass and filling it with water. Amanda thanks the sitter and locks the door as she closes the apartment door. She doesn't ask, he doesn't say but they both know he won't be going home tonight. He's too worried and she's in no shape to argue.
"Here, the nurse said to drink lots of water" he tells her as he hands her the glass. She nods and takes a sip before sitting it on the counter. Before he can protest she grabs his arm and gently squeezes.
"I just want to check on the girls. I promise when I get back I will drink the whole glass" she tells him. He sighs and she can see the light hearted comment did little to ease his worry.
"Carisi, I'm fine. I promise." She tells as she steps closer trying to get him to look up at her. She succeeds and when she locks eyes with him she smiles trying to make him do the same. He gives her a small smile and nods.
"I know, its just I wish you were never in that position….If I was still your.." He starts but she slowly shakes her head.
"No, you can't do that. It's not your fault" she tells him and this time she takes a step back. Where there was worry now seems to be dripping in anger.
"Well maybe not completely but it is definitely his…I could kill him" he tells her before walking towards the refrigerator and taking out a beer.
"Who do you want to kill? She asks confused.
"Morales…why the hell would he approach them like that especially without a warrant?" He asks and grimaces after seeing Amanda looks down the hallway. She waits a minute to see if his outburst woke anyone up.
"He thought we had one, we were waiting on it" she tries to explain
"So what gave him the idea that you got it?" He asks trying to understand what happened. He is flustered mainly because he knows this wouldn't have happened if he would have been with her.
"A text came in and he thought it was from the Captain giving us the go ahead" she explains before grabbing the glass of water. She takes a sip and watches him look at her like she has two heads. She sighs when she sees the realization come across his face.
"It's not your fault" she tells him before he can even say it aloud.
"My text? The text about the glow in the dark stars for Jesse? That's what almost go you killed?" His voice cracks on the last part and her heart drops when he pulls away from her reach.
"Sonny, he shouldn't have assumed. It could have been from anyone. Fin, The sitter.." She tries to tell him but he just keeps backing away.
"but It was from me" he tells her and the look of horror on his face terrifies her. He can't blame himself for this he must know that. She wants to fight him on this but she's not sure she has it in her. Her head is killing her and what energy she has left she really just wants to use to check on her girls.
"We are going to talk about this but I need to check on the girls first" she tells him. He doesn't look at her just goes and sits in his chair.
Seeing the girls soundly asleep with no earthly idea of what their mother has been through tonight allows her to let out a sigh of relief. She leans her head against the doorframe and just watches them sleep. After a while she feels her body start to ache and her eyes are getting harder and harder to keep open. She makes her way back into the living room and finds him leaned back in his chair. His head is tilted back and he is staring at the ceiling, she would have thought he was sleeping if she didn't hear him sniffle. He hasn't noticed her yet and she questions if she wants him to as she finds herself afraid of how to handle all of this right now. The pain wins though and she makes her way over to the glass of water and pulls out her bottle of pain medicine they had given her.
"You hurting?" He asks
She shrugs "some, I think the good meds are wearing off" she jokes. He just nods.
"Look Carisi you really need to know.." She starts but he holds up a hand and shakes his head.
"Lets just table this for now ok? Rollins you really need to get your rest" he tells her and she nods in agreement before walking over to the hall closet to pull out a blanket. She tosses it to him before retreating to her room and walking back out with an extra pillow.
"Do you need anything else?" She asks and he just shakes his head with a small laugh escaping him. "I think I should be asking you that" he tells her and she just smiles before heading back to her room.
She slowly opens her eyes and groans at the intense pain that overtakes her whole body. She taps her phone trying to get it to wake up enough to tell her what ungodly hour it must be. She almost knocks it off the night stand before the ugly 2:35 am shows up at her request. She pushes herself to sit up and almost yells in frustration at how much energy it takes her to do so. Just as she is about to move her legs over the side of the bed she hears something move. She quickly, too quickly for her body's liking swings her head around towards the corner of her room. It takes a moment but when her eyes adjust she can't help but smile. He must have moved his chair into her room after she fell asleep. She shakes her head at how uncomfortable he looks stretched out, half off the chair with his head leaned into the side.
"How are you even sleeping" she whispers to herself
"Not very well" his answer startles her. She shifts a bit to lean against the headboard.
"I don't need a babysitter you know…plus it's kind of creepy" she teases him but he just shifts in the chair.
"There is some more pills and a glass of water on your nightstand" he informs her before closing his eyes again. She doesn't grab them right away but instead just watches him. She takes a breath and closes her eyes trying to keep the tears from escaping. She shifts and groans as the pain makes its presence known once again. Leaning over she grabs the glass of water and pills. After swallowing them she sits it back down then looks over towards his direction.
"I'm not sure I've said it but thank you Sonny. I'm not sure what I would do without you" she tells him.
She watches him as he shifts again but seems to be fast asleep now. She just shakes her head and slides back down on the bed. This time she turns on her side so she can see him. It's been a rough night but she can't help but feel lucky. Her whole world is in this small apartment, safe and sound.