Chapter 24
Elle recognized what it was right away, even if no one else did. Several of the warriors drew their weapons and moved protectively between the Seeress and the unknown thing. Yeul only looked at Elle. Her voice had dropped into a near whisper again. "You were not forcefully taken this time. You have a choice, though I do not believe it will stay open for long."
Elle's eyes finally drifted down to Yeul and understood for the first time why she looked so sad. It wasn't just because of Caius. She already knew what was going to happen, even though Elle had only just come to a decision.
She had backed away when she first saw the portal that would lead her back to what had once been her home. However, as soon as Yeul spoke, Elle knew what her choice was going to be. Thoughts of her brother filled her mind as she looked back over her shoulder. She was torn as she looked at Caius' statue, glowing in the dawn light. This place was so much more to her than her love of that man, but she still knew she could not stay. Her eyes were just as sad as Yeul's when she turned back.
She didn't even have to say anything before Yeul nodded. "You will need to change back into your things before you leave. I have had them kept safe for your return. I will have someone bring them to your room momentarily."
Elle stared at the girl for several moments as she tried to find the words to express herself. When nothing came, she threw decorum to the wind and pulled Yeul into a tight hug. Her voice was choked with things she couldn't find the words for, yet she tried. "Thank you. I won't ever forget you."
Yeul returned the embrace just as tightly. When they parted, the girl gave her a small smile. "I have considered your words often, and I see that you shared wisdom not even I could have seen. Do not fear that I will have no one."
Elle clenched her jaw when she understood what Yeul meant but somehow managed a smile. "I'm glad to hear it."
That was all she could handle before she turned to head to her room. She was stopped by the sight of all the warriors that were still gathered. By then, they had come to understand what was going on. The salutes that they had given her now turned into regretful goodbyes. Most of them only waved or patted her arm as she passed by, but a few took her hand and shook it. She was amazed to see how much she would be missed. Although she tried not to think about it. This was already hard enough as it was.
When she got past the line of men, she was greeted by the sight of a frowning Laer. Her heart lurched at the look he was giving her, but she did not have words to give him at that moment. Nothing would have been enough to explain how much he meant to her. Instead, she gave him a nod and turned to find her room. She hoped that by the time she was changed, she would have strength enough to give him a proper goodbye.
By the time she made it to her room, one of the women was already there with a bundle. She held it out and gave her a bow. The woman offered her a smile as she took it before she turned away to leave Elle to change in peace.
It did not take her long to swap out her clothing, though it felt strange to be putting her jeans and blouse back on. They felt weird against her skin after having spent the last year wearing linen and leather. She tried to ignore that reminder of this place as she started to replace the rest of her things, like her holster and badge.
She was moving slower than she usually would have. The whole process was like pushing through molasses. Despite her focus on not thinking about what she was leaving, she wasn't surprised when her door was flung open, and Laer filled the doorway.
She only held his gaze for a moment before she turned to finish taking the beads and feathers from her hair. Her voice was low when she spoke. "I'm sorry. I couldn't say goodbye out there. I'm going to miss you, and this is already hard."
At her words, Laer banged his fist against the doorjamb. "Then, don't leave! Just because he is crystal now doesn't mean you have nothing left here!"
Elle jumped slightly at his words and closed her eyes against the pain they invoked. She only stood there like that for a moment before she turned to him and tried to maintain her mask. "This isn't about him. I don't belong here. I have a life that I was taken from. A brother that has probably been going insane wondering where I am. I can't stay."
His hands lowered, and his look changed from anger to pleading. "Elle, when you first came, no one knew what to think of it, but you refused to be slotted into what people thought you should be. You carved out your own place in this city, in the people, and when you leave, that place will be hollow."
It took everything Elle had at that moment not to break down. She somehow managed to take the few steps that separated them before she grabbed his hand. She placed her feathers in it and closed his fingers over them before she looked up into his eyes. "Thank you. You, more than anyone, helped me find that place. I want you to know that when I carved my place, it wasn't just one-sided. This city carved a place in my heart as well. You did too. When I leave, that place will be hollow also. You will always be there, no matter where I go."
Something flashed through his eyes at her words, at the sight of her feathers in his grasp. He wasn't even thinking anymore when he grabbed her arms and pulled her into a kiss.
Elle stiffened at the intimate contact but did not fight him. He did not let it go on for long, as he understood what her lack of response meant. He leaned back far enough to look her in the eyes before he pulled her into a tight embrace. His voice was choked as he tried to explain. "I'm sorry, I can't let you just walk away without trying. You are my best friend, and I love you. Don't give up everything you have built here."
She wasn't angry at his actions. It wasn't like she didn't already know on some level that he cared, but that didn't change her mind. Though having him trying so hard, did make it difficult for her to push back. She finally managed to somehow find the strength the step away from him. She stepped around to his side and placed a hand on his shoulder for a moment. He would not look at her, but she still spoke. "You'll always be my best friend. Anywhere I go."
When he didn't respond, she finally let her hand drop and walked back into the central courtyard. She was only somewhat surprised to see that most of the men were still there. Yeul had taken up a position near the gate, and there were several guards with her.
Elle stopped in front of the girl and dipped her chin. She looked at each of the men with her and realized there was one last thing she needed to do as well. "Yeul, since I was left in charge of your safety until a different solution can be reached, it would be my suggestion that Laer takes up the position of your Guardian. At least temporarily."
Yeul gave her a nod. "I find that acceptable." She then looked over Elle's shoulder to where Laer was standing. He had followed her out. The girl gave him a questioning look before she spoke to him as well. "And you? Do you accept this charge?"
Laer stepped around Elle and knelt in front of Yeul. "I would be honored to take up that mantle, but only until the proper Guardian is returned."
Elle's eyes narrowed at his words. She wasn't sure if he meant Caius, or herself. Either way, it was not likely to change during his lifetime. That thought sent another pang through her that she buried with the rest. She tried not to let her pain show when she spoke again. "If that is decided, then it is time I go."
Yeul gave her one last sad smile. "May you forever hold our memories close to your heart, and may your days be long and plentiful."
Elle didn't trust her voice right away, so she only nodded. It was at that point that she realized there was one last thing she needed to do, or she would never find closure. She glanced up at Laer, where he had taken up the position next to Yeul and gave him a sad smile before she turned back to face the statue of Caius.
No one said anything to her or tried to stop her as she approached it. This time, when she reached out her hand, she let it rest lightly on his chest. The stone was slightly warm from the sun but far colder than what she knew his skin would have been. It wasn't quite enough to fool her, but just enough that she could close her eyes and pretend for a moment.
Her voice was quiet when she spoke. "I know you're there, even if you can't answer, so just listen. There were many things left unsaid between us, but the one I regret most is that I never got to tell you I love you. I do, and I always will. Whether you wake up or not, know that you will always be the only one my heart craves."
At that point, she opened her eyes and looked up into the peaceful expression carved onto his face. She hoped his dreams were like that as well. She then took a step back and pulled the tooth out from under her shirt and off her neck. She reached down and looped it around one of his hands that was partially held up. "I hope that no matter what, you find happiness, but don't forget me."
She stepped back and let her fingers slide from his cold stone ones. "Goodbye, my love."
With that, she turned to head to the gate. The silence in the square was eerie as she walked across to the portal. She paused in front of it for one moment, unsure of her actions. The only indication of her indecision was her clenched fists by her side. After a few moments, she took one last deep breath to try and remember the very smell of the air before she stepped into the light and was gone with a flash.
As soon as she was through, the portal disappeared, and Laer had to fight to stay on his feet. His whispered words were not meant for anyone in particular. "She didn't even look back."
Though he had not expected an answer, Yeul looked up with shared sadness and understanding. "Do you believe she could have? There was no easy path for her from the beginning. She only had tough choices and the will to follow through no matter what. This is no different. She was forced to choose family or friends. No matter what she decided, it would have ended with her heart broken. Do not be angry with her for making the choice she felt was right, even if it was painful for all of us."
It was at that point that Laer realized he was not the only one that would miss the petite blonde. He placed his hand on Yeul's shoulder and gave her a nod. That was the most he could muster before he looked away. "It is time that we get this place organized. I am sure there is much that needs to be done before we can even get you back into your chambers."
Yeul watched her newest Guardian as he gave the orders to get things cleaned and organized groups of men to sweep the passes for any remaining threat. She could tell it was a way for him to cope, but she hoped that in time he would come to realize this needed to happen.
As soon as Elle passed through the portal, she felt like she was both falling and floating at the same time. This time was not nearly as disorienting as the last, and she was able to recognize the Historia Crux for what it was. The same went for the brief few seconds she was falling through the sky in Valhalla.
The sight of it might have been a painful reminder of who she left behind if she hadn't been in freefall. Despite knowing she would likely not hit the ground, the sight of it approaching quickly was enough of a distraction to keep her from worrying about other things.
When she was back in the Historia Crux once more, she began to wonder where she would land, or when? There was no telling, given the type of trip it was. She wasn't even sure how she would land on her feet, much less what to expect when she got there, but she had resolved to be prepared for anything.
That resolve was probably the one thing that saved her life. She managed to step from the gate with no trouble, but her mind barely had time to take in the scene in front of her before her instincts were kicking in. She had just enough time to see the muzzle flash before she tried to cast steelguard as she flung herself to the side. She almost panicked when there was no response. Almost like she had never had magic, to begin with.
The one thing that had made a difference was the fact that she had spent so much of the last year honing her reflexes to survive life and death situations. The small bit of extra speed meant that the bullet she had already dodged once ended up hitting her chest about an inch and a half to the left of where it would have originally.
None of that consciously passed through her mind as she felt the bullet rip into her and flung her back with the force of the impact. Her head bounced once when she hit the concrete, and she groaned as she tried to roll.
She barely heard a voice that was somewhat familiar as it called her name. It was only as she managed to look toward the alley exit that she saw the body of the man that just shot her lying a few feet away, along with another man running to her with panic on his face. "Damn it, Elle! I tried to get around and cut him off before he reached the street."
She blinked a few times and grimaced as he pushed against the wound. It took her a few seconds to realize what had just happened as she worked through the pain. She had been sent back to the exact moment that she had been taken. Missed bullet and all. By then, she had also worked through who the man was and what he meant.
She tried to put a hand on her partner's arm to show him she would be fine. "It's okay. I guess you aren't worthless after all. Thanks, John."
His eyes widened as her arm flopped back down, but he already had his phone out and dialed. Elle could tell her vision was darkening as she heard his worried voice. "Yes, officer down! We need an ambulance at Harcourt and Johnson. Yeah, got another man down too." He paused and looked down at her. "Don't you dare die on me damn it. I don't need that shit, you hear me, Elle!" That was the last she heard before blessed darkness took her.
Elle woke with confusion at a constant beeping noise. She had never heard a bird like that before, and although Paddra was filled with all sorts of interesting insects, she didn't think any of them beeped. She tried to roll over and shove her head under her pillow but was brought up short when she moved her arm, and pain exploded in her chest. She flopped back with a groan and tried to figure out what the hell had happened.
She finally opened her eyes when she heard a voice that had haunted her dreams. "Elle! You're awake!"
She blinked a few times as she looked up into her brother's face. "Kurt?"
He grinned and grabbed her in a tight hug that instantly had the pain flaring again. She pushed at his shoulder with her other arm and tried to keep it from showing in her voice. "Hold up a little there, I'm not quite sure what happened, but that hurts like hell."
Kurt let her go as quickly as he had grabbed her, but he was frowning when he looked down. "You were shot, don't you remember?"
She gave him a confused look as she tried to work through the last things she could recall clearly. She remembered coming out of the Historia Crux, and then a muzzle flash, and her partner.
At that point, she gasped and sat up, ignoring the pain that flared again. "I'm home!"
Kurt took a step back with wide eyes, but it only lasted a minute before he was at her bedside again. "No, you're in the hospital, where you will likely be for a few more days at least. The bullet missed your heart and all that other stuff, thank god, but it got lodged in the bone instead of going out the back of your shoulder. They had to remove it, which was scary as hell, let me tell you. I'm just glad your partner was there."
Elle allowed him to push her back down and let out a groan. No wonder she felt like she had been gored by a behemoth. She looked over to see her brother giving her a worried look, but to her, it was beautiful. She managed to grin at him through the pain. "It's good to see you. I missed your face."
His worry only grew. "They said you hit your head when you fell too. Are you feeling alright?"
She chuckled at the look he was giving her and regretted it immediately. Still, she held onto her grin as she responded. "Yeah, I'll be fine. You know me."
He finally shook his head and pulled the chair over so he could sit down next to the bed. "Yeah, stubborn as hell and twice as ornery. That's what Pops says anyway."
Elle's grin faded a little at the mention of their grandfather. "You haven't called him yet, have you?"
Kurt glared at her. "I had to. You've been in and out for a couple of days. He'd whip my ass if I didn't."
Elle rolled her eyes but didn't give him a hard time. He wasn't far off. "That's okay. I'll call him tomorrow and let him know I'm fine. At least that way, I'll be the one to hear all about it instead of you."
He grinned at her. "Thanks, I'll owe you one."
Elle had the urge to smack him but refrained. She could already tell that she was going to need to call the nurse soon and didn't want to expedite it. Her voice still held her irritation. "That makes way more than one, but I'll let this slide. I was the one to get shot after all."
Her brother made a disgusted noise as he stood and grabbed his jacket. "You are such a putz." He then grinned at her because he knew she was in no condition to follow through with the look she was giving him. "Don't worry, I'll be back in the morning. I told my professors I would need a few days. Most of them are okay with me turning in my assignments online while I'm here."
She nodded at him as he started to walk out. He paused long enough to tell her he would let the nurse know she was awake before he took off. Once he was gone, she put her good arm over her eyes in a vain attempt to block out her confused thoughts. It had been great to see Kurt, even if it was brief, but that didn't stop the gaping hole in her heart from hurting nearly as bad as the one in her chest.
She was thankful that the nurse that came to check on her wasn't the prying type, because she didn't want to talk. She was doubly grateful when the woman gave her something for the pain, and she was out again before long.
Kurt was only able to stay in town until Elle was released. He had to get back, so he didn't fail the class that wouldn't let him turn in his work remotely. However, he did make Elle promise to keep him updated. Her response to his request was to grab him in the type of hug that would usually be embarrassing for her younger sibling. It said a lot about how worried he had been when he didn't push her away.
For the next two weeks, Elle had been instructed to get rest, but she couldn't sit in her apartment by herself. Being alone for too long left her mind open for memories to haunt her. She lost count of how many times she turned to say something to one of her friends that just wasn't there.
Even though she was on leave, she ended up down at the precinct every day. A few of her closer co-workers noticed that she wasn't quite the same and asked her about it, but she deflected with sarcasm and usually found somewhere else to be. She just couldn't settle.
After the first week, she ended up trying to exercise again just to stay busy, despite her doctor's warnings. She kept her left arm in a sling and compromised by not using it, though that still gave her doctor fits when he found out. She settled for jogging when he told her she could no longer do her other training until she was cleared.
Honestly, Elle almost wondered if the whole thing was some kind of strange delusion sometimes, but then she would go and look at the mark on her chest. It was faded to the point that it was difficult to tell what it might once have been, but it was still there. Even if her magic wasn't. She tried nearly every day, and nothing came.
With her state of mind being what it was, she was not entirely shocked to be pulled into her captain's office one day while she was visiting. He had her sit down and gave her a long look. "I don't know what's going on, but it's plain to see something is. I've heard all about it. John is ready to pull what little hair he has left out. So, I'll give you a choice."
He paused and pulled out a packet of paperwork that he passed over to her. "You can take the next six weeks for medical leave and get your head straight while you're at it, or I will be forced to put you on leave pending a psych eval. I know you're stubborn, but we can't have you out there unstable."
Elle wanted to get up and punch the man in the face, but she squashed the urge. It wasn't like he was doing this to hurt her. Besides, he did have a point. She was sure her restlessness was obvious to anyone that knew her at all. She finally pulled the packet to herself and started signing the papers. When she was done, she stood to leave, and her boss called out once more. "I don't want to see you back at the station until this up."
She paused and had to clench her jaw several times. Finally, she nodded before she pulled off her badge and unholstered her gun. She set them both on his desk with a thump. "Don't worry. I know how to get by. I'll be back in a few weeks."
He shook his head at her retreating form. She had always been gung ho, but since she had been shot, her snark had turned to anger. He didn't think it had anything to do with the shooting, but whatever it was, he hoped it got worked out soon. She was a good detective, and he hated seeing her gone.
A/N: I know this was a hard chapter, it was for me anyway, but I promise the next one will more than make up for it. I hope to have it out tomorrow and then it will just be the epilogue. Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoy!