A/N1: The soundtrack for the first part of this chapter is 'Homesick' by Dua Lipa. The second half is 'Evergreen' by Raign
Chapter 25
Elle's solution to her orders was to leave town entirely. That was how she found herself staying with her grandfather. She knew that being alone would be hard, but her captain had been right about one thing. She needed to figure out how to deal, or her life was going to be miserable. She hoped a few weeks in the relative silence of the boonies would be just what she needed.
Her grandfather was enough like her that they either got along really well, or they fought like cats and dogs. She was just grateful he didn't ask questions she wasn't ready to answer when she showed up and asked to stay while she was on leave.
She had been there for nearly a week and still hadn't figured out how to deal with any of her thoughts. It was not even noon yet, and she had managed to get away from her grandfather so she could think. He wouldn't expect her to be in the hayloft in the barn, though she wasn't sure he didn't know she was trying to hide. At least she was glad he understood enough to leave her to it.
It had taken some maneuvering for her to get herself up the ladder, but once she was up, she settled back against a bale that was falling apart and looked up at the ceiling. Her gaze was snagged by a hole in the roof that was big enough to let in a good amount of light. She could even see the blue sky beyond. She had the random thought that she should try and help while she was there if nothing else. It was evident that things were beginning to be too much for her Pops to handle by himself.
As she laid there and stared at the tiny splotch of blue that penetrated the darkness, she pulled out the one thing that was never far from her. She held it up against the backdrop of the sky and twirled the lock of hair. It was still so soft, and the feather was nearly iridescent in the bit of sunlight that touched it.
As she watched it spin, she just let herself feel, at least for that moment while she was alone. She was sure there was an ocean of tears behind her eyes, but she could not let them out. She was afraid if she did, then she would never stop crying.
Her attention was snagged when a light rain started to come in through the hole. Yep, she definitely needed to help fix that. Her thoughts about repairs trailed off as two birds flew in through the hole and up to a nest above her that she hadn't seen. She watched them with rapt attention as they shook off the water and then started grooming each other. As she watched them, all she could think about was Caius. He wasn't the only thing she missed about Paddra, but losing him left her feeling empty, not just hollowed. All she could do was pray that Etro allowed his crystal slumber to be peaceful. It was the least he deserved. She felt tears start to pool in her eyes and clenched her jaw as she blinked them back. She couldn't allow it, not even here.
She nearly jumped out her skin as her focus was shattered by a voice calling out from the entrance to the barn. "Elle, are you in here? Pops said he thought he saw you sneaking out here."
Somehow, she managed to pull herself back from that figurative ledge and kept her voice even as she called out. "I'm in the hayloft."
She heard a soft curse and shuffling as her brother made his way over and up the ladder. She managed to wipe the dampness from the corners of her eyes and sit up before he made it all the way to the top. As soon as his head popped over the edge, he was glaring at her. "How the hell did you get up here anyway?"
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "It's not impossible to climb with one arm, I just had to take it slow."
He finished the climb and plopped down next to her with a frown. It was a few seconds before he figured out what he wanted to say, and Elle was in no hurry for him to get it out. The farm was a lot closer to where he was in school than Chicago, but she doubted his reasoning for missing class was trivial.
When he finally turned to her, his eyes were concerned. "Elle, what is going on? I know you were quiet in the hospital, but when I didn't hear from you for four days, I tried to call the precinct. I figured you were just bored and hanging out up there. Do you know what John told me?"
Elle sighed. She had no doubt her partner knew what the ultimatum had been, even if the rest of the guys were probably kept in the dark. "I'm sure he said something about a psych eval, right?"
Kurt gave her a look that clearly showed how aggravated he was. "Damn right. What the hell? Why did I have to hear about that from your partner? And why is it a problem in the first place? You never did let physical pain get to you, so you can't tell me it's just because you got shot. You never even cried when dad died. What has you so twisted?"
Elle didn't say anything right away. She wasn't sure what she could tell him, but she didn't want to lie to him. Finally, she pulled her knees up and rested her chin on her good arm over the top of them. She tilted her head slightly so she could look over at him. "You sure you want to know?"
Something in her voice had her brother's hackles raised. He gave her a hard look and lowered his voice. "Are you in some kind of trouble? What can I do to help?"
Elle chuckled at his assumption and shook her head. When he just glared at her, she shifted so she could lean against the bulk of the hay bale and look at him at the same time. It was several moments before she sighed and spoke. "I have a question for you, and I want you to answer me honestly, please."
His glare swiftly turned to a worried look. She didn't give him a chance to do more before she looked away and spoke. "This is hypothetical, but what if I met someone. Let's say he was everything I ever wanted in a man and was able to make me happy. Like really happy, but if I went with him, then I would never see you again." She paused and looked back at him before she continued. "What do you think of that?"
He rolled his eyes at her overdramatization. "I'd like to see a man that could handle you."
She smacked his arm, and he turned to see her frown. His eyes widened at the look she was giving him. "You're serious, aren't you?"
She made a disgusted noise. "I wouldn't have asked you to tell me how you honestly feel otherwise."
His eyes widened, and he scooted closer. When his gaze turned curious, she looked away, and he gasped. "Are you in love!?"
She huffed and glared at him, though he wasn't fazed by it. He sat back in shock. "You are! What? When did this happen? How did I not know this?"
She growled at him. "Just answer the damn question."
By that point, the implications of what she might have meant finally hit him, and his excitement dimmed. "Did you meet someone that is like some foreign dignitary or something?"
When she sighed and glared again, he held up both hands. "Fine, fine. I get it." He then looked at her face carefully before he finally answered. "You know it has just been the two of us since mom died. Dad didn't really count after that, and you were everything for me for a long time. I would miss the hell out of you, but if I knew you would be happy, I would be okay with it." He then gave her a lopsided smile. "Though, if you're going to run off, I'd like to at least meet the guy first."
Elle chuckled, but somehow it turned into a strangled sob. Kurt's eyes got even wider then they had been, and he grabbed her in a hug. That was all it took for her dam to break. She couldn't hold in her tears, and for once allowed her brother to be the one to comfort her instead of the other way around.
He held her with a worried look as he let her get it all out. He had no idea what was going on, but his sister never cried. Ever. If he was honest with himself, this whole thing scared the hell out of him.
When her tears finally tapered off, he sat back and held her shoulders. His voice was soft. "What happened?"
She shook her head as she wiped away her tears and looked away with a grimace. Her teeth were clenched against the wrenching pain that still filled her, but she managed to speak. "It doesn't matter. None of it matters anymore. He's gone, and I'll never see him again."
"Oh, Elle." Her brother's voice was soft as he pulled her closer once more. She didn't cry again, but she did let it go on. It helped at least a tiny bit to share that much at least, even if she couldn't tell him anything else.
She had closed her eyes and tried to get herself back under control. It was as she was struggling to find some semblance of calm, that her attention was grabbed by a flash of light. She sat back and looked over to where it had come from. Her eyes widened when she saw a soft golden glow coming from the lower floor of the barn. Her heart was in her throat as she started to crawl over to the edge of the loft to look down.
Kurt grabbed her arm before she could go far and gave her a scared look as he pulled her back. "What the hell is that?"
Elle could not seem to find the ability to speak. Her heart was still hammering as she pulled her arm from his grasp and stood. He joined her with a glare as they both walked to the edge and looked down. She nearly felt faint enough to drop when she looked down to see the last thing she expected, and the one thing she had most wished for.
She turned to her brother and grabbed his arms frantically. "Kurt, you know I love you, but this- I have to go."
His saucer-sized eyes looked back at her. "Is that- I mean, is that really what I think it is?"
Elle was so overwhelmed that she nearly laughed. "If you are asking if that is Etro's gate, then the answer is yes."
She immediately headed for the ladder, but Kurt grabbed her arm again. He was giving her an incredulous look. "You can't just say something like that and run off without an explanation! What- how? I can't even."
She was nearly frantic as she grabbed her brother's hand. "I don't have time to explain it all, but I can say that I walked away once. I can't do it again. I finally found a place that I belong. I thought it was right to come back here, but I've been nothing but miserable. I love you, but-"
He held up both hands. "Wait. Are you telling me you have gone through that gate once already?"
She made a frustrated noise at the delay but answered. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I know this is sudden, but I don't want to miss this chance."
He looked in her eyes for several moments before he stepped toward the stairs. "Okay, fine. Let me go down first, so you don't fall, and for crying out loud, give me at least enough time to send a message to Pops. It will kill him if we both disappear without any clue what happened."
She froze as she realized what he was saying. He was already halfway down the ladder and looked up expectantly. "I thought you were in a hurry."
She looked down with shock. "I am. What are you talking about?"
He huffed and waved her down from the bottom. "I already told you. It's been me and you for years. If you're going to go on god knows what kind of adventure, I'm going with you." When Elle opened her mouth to protest, he shot her a glare. "Nuh-uh. Don't even bother."
She glared at him and hurried down the ladder as fast as she could. When they were both at the bottom, she grabbed his arm. "You can't throw your life away like this! You have college and your friends. You have a future here!"
He scoffed. "I have drinking buddies, and potential for a nice, long, boring career. No deal. I'm going, so quit arguing."
As aggravated as Elle was at her brother's stubborn streak setting in now of all times, she was a little glad that he wanted to go. That this happened when he was with her. Still, she was worried. "Fine, I won't argue, but I don't know if you will be allowed through it."
He gave her a sidelong look. "Why not, if you can?"
Both of their heads shot up at the sound of a woman's voice. "Edelweiss, you are being given a choice, though I cannot keep this open much longer. I see no reason why your brother could not attend as well if he is truly willing."
Elle turned to see a woman standing next to the gate. Something about her face was familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. She walked to the edge of the portal and gave the woman a curious glance. "Who are you?"
The woman gave her a soft smile as she reached out and put her hand on Elle's shoulder. "Do you not already know?"
Elle almost thought the woman looked like an older version of Yeul, but there was something else about her that was different. Some feeling that pulsed in her veins. It wasn't until she once again felt the tingle of her magic as it spread through her chest at the woman's touch that she understood. "Etro!"
The goddess smiled and nodded. By that point, Kurt stepped next them both and looked between them. He gave the goddess a wide-eyed stare. It was several seconds before he was able to speak. "I sent Pops a message. I told him we went on a trip, so not to worry. I also said we love him, and told him not to be concerned about us no matter what he hears."
Elle closed her eyes as a wave of emotion passed through her. She was excited and relieved that her brother could go and wanted to. She was also nervous about her return, but most of all, she was looking forward to seeing her friends again. She grabbed her brother's hand and stepped forward. She looked at the goddess once more and wondered briefly if there was more to her assumption about Yeul and the goddess than she thought.
It was at that point Etro smiled once again and spoke as if she could read Elle's mind. "Yes, there is a connection. I have you to thank for many things, including the fact that once she rejoined me, I have a much better understanding of the creatures created from my blood. Thank you."
Elle felt like someone had punched her as she realized that Etro probably meant that literally. She and Yeul were one now. It was a painful thought that the Seeress was already gone, but it didn't make her change her mind about going back. The goddess shook her head and stepped to the side, so the gate was clear. Her voice was not at all melancholy as she disappeared. "Have no fear that I did not have a full life. Thank you."
As she disappeared, Elle pulled her brother forward. She didn't want to miss this chance. She only paused for a moment at the edge of the light to look at him. He pulled on her hand. "Don't worry. I wouldn't miss this for the world." She chuckled at him before she dragged him with her into the golden light.
As soon as they were in the Historia Crux, Elle looked over at Kurt. He had let go of her hand and was floating there with his mouth gaping open. She chuckled but didn't say anything. It wasn't as though she handled it better the first time, especially since she didn't have any clue what it had been at the time.
When they flashed into Valhalla, Kurt yelled, but the pass through was too quick for Elle to even try to explain. He finally looked back at her after they were back in the Historia Crux. When he caught sight of her calm expression, he frowned. Though he wasn't given a chance to do much else before there was another flash, and they both landed awkwardly in the grass.
Kurt straightened and looked around in awe. There was no sign of any gate, but the rock walls around them looked familiar. He finally looked over to see that his sister had already gone a short distance away and was looking around. He jogged over to her and whispered. "Do you know where we are? I mean, it does remind me of the canyons on Gran Pulse, but otherwise, I'm clueless."
Elle turned back to him with a grin. "I know exactly where we are. Come with me. We can take the shortcut around the city."
Kurt shook his head when he had to jog once again to catch up to her. Even though he had known what they were doing, it really hadn't sunk in. The choice had been so quick that it was only as he felt the rock next to him that he was beginning to understand they were now in a whole new world. One without the life knew, but if his sister's enthusiasm was anything to go by, then it was one where they could be happy. He was glad to see her smiling again, at least.
She paused and grabbed his arm as he walked past her. She nodded her head. "This way."
She then pulled him into a narrow cleft in the rock that he would have missed if she hadn't pointed it out. They walked on in silence until they came above the rock, and he looked over with a gasp. Spread out below them was a city that shone in the midday light. There were thousands of people and squares with fountains. There was just too much to take in. His voice was reverent when he spoke. "Where is this?"
Elle smiled back at him. "That is the great city of Paddra, home to the Farseer tribe."
"Tribe?" He looked back down at the bustling city and shook his head. What a name for so many people. He didn't get a chance to do more as Elle had already taken off again. He jumped to follow her back down into the other side of the rock path.
They had not gone far when he nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of a man's voice calling out sternly. "Halt! Why have you come this way?"
Kurt looked around his sister expecting some kind of soldier. What he found was a man that was now staring at Elle with awe. He was even further shocked when the man saluted his sister. "Emissary, you have returned!"
Elle grinned at him. "Baren, it is good to see you again!"
The man then grinned and gestured behind him. "Do you need an escort?"
She shook her head. "No, it's not like I could get lost. Besides, it's just you here. Don't abandon your post."
He saluted again before he laid his hand on her shoulder as she passed. Kurt was astonished when the man's voice lowered as he spoke. "The city will rejoice that you have returned."
Elle patted his arm, but couldn't manage to say anything in return. They were quickly back on their way. Kurt was shocked several more times when the same process happened at each checkpoint they passed. After the third time, he got closer and lowered his voice. "What the hell is going on here? I know you said you had been here once before, but this is nuts!"
She looked back over his shoulder with a chuckle. "Let's get into the compound, and then I can explain everything." She didn't give him a chance to argue before she turned and kept going. He frowned at her back and resolved to corner her at the first chance he got. This was even weirder than he expected.
When the siblings finally stepped out of the pass and into a bright courtyard, Elle froze. She couldn't believe what she was seeing, but that didn't stop her from rushing over to throw her arms around a smiling Yeul. The girl hugged her back for several moments. When they finally parted, Elle put her hands on Yeul's shoulders and looked into her face. "You've grown. How long was I gone?"
Yeul's smile dimmed a little, but her voice still held joy. "A little more than a year. Though the important thing is that you have returned."
Elle sighed and squeezed Yeul's shoulders. "I can't say that I'm not glad I went home, but I am sorry that it was so long."
Her head jerked to the side when a male voice spoke. "You should be sorry. Yeul can say it's okay all day long, but for me, I'd say at least a whole night of drinking might make up for it. Maybe."
Kurt looked like he was about to interrupt, but Elle nearly jumped into Laer's opened arms. He pulled her close and whispered near her ear. "It wasn't the same without you."
After a few moments, Elle finally stepped away and eyed his outfit, including the blade by his side. Her eyes dimmed a little at what it meant, but she grinned at her friend. "Does this mean you finally decided to permanently take the Guardian position?"
Laer chuckled and shrugged. "It's kind of hard to be the Guardian when I have yet to beat the current one."
Elle felt her heart rip a little more at the reminder of the state of the current Guardian. At least until she caught Laer trying not to grin. Then she began to wonder if he wasn't talking about Caius after all. She narrowed her eyes at him. "What exactly is that supposed to mean?"
She froze, and her eyes widened when another familiar voice spoke up behind her. "He means that there may come a day when he can best me, though that day is not yet, nor will it be any time soon."
Elle's heart had started an uneven rhythm as it tried to beat out of her chest. She would know that voice in her sleep, yet she was scared to turn and find that she was only imagining things. It wasn't until her brother smacked her arm several times in excitement that she was able to even think. Kurt's voice was low and held both awe and fear as he spoke in time to the hits. "Elle! That's Caius Freaking Ballad! What is going on here!?"
She ignored his request as she slowly turned. When she saw Caius standing, whole and not crystal, on the other side of the courtyard, her brain almost gave out on her, and her heart was long gone. She looked him up and down until her eyes came to rest on his. He had no expression, but he opened his arms slightly with his palms up. That was the only invitation she needed before she ran to him.
Kurt tried to grab for her, but was not nearly fast enough, though he did try to chase her as he called out. "Wait! That's Caius Ballad! He's too strong, he'll ki- uh… what?"
By the time Kurt trailed off, Elle had collided with Caius. He caught her in his embrace and practically lifted her from her feet as their lips found each other. Neither of them noticed the others coming up around them. Not even when Kurt turned to the other man his sister had first embraced. "What am I seeing? Is this real? What the hell?"
Laer chuckled at the younger male version of his best friend, but he didn't answer right away. Instead, he called out in a loud voice. "That's enough. Don't you know that stuff is supposed to wait? At least have enough decency to not do it in public."
Caius finally let her down, but Elle's eyes didn't leave his. She just made a gesture over her shoulder that had Laer chuckling again. Caius brushed her hair back from her face as he finally spoke to her. "I had faith that the Goddess would bring you back. I never doubted it."
Elle's heart clenched at his words, but he wasn't finished. He reached into a pouch on his side and brought something out. He took her hand and placed it gently in her palm before he looked in her eyes once again. She looked down to see a large purple bloom with a thick stem and gorgeous petals. It only took her a moment to realize what it might be. She looked back up in shock.
Caius cupped her cheek as their eyes met again. "I was a fool. I believed Praes' words when he told me he wasn't sure I would be able to choose correctly if I was forced to protect either you or Yeul. He was correct about that. I don't know if I would be able to choose at all. However, during the attack on the city, you showed me something I had not considered. I would never be faced with that choice because you would not need me to protect you. You would not be behind me, you would stand beside me."
He then cupped his other hand over hers. "Will you stand with me?"
Elle was frozen, but she didn't get a chance to respond. Kurt had finally had enough. Plus, he had figured out at least part of what was going on. He grabbed his sister's arm and turned her to face him. He was glaring at her. "Caius Ballad? You mean to tell me the man you asked me about, the one you found that made you happy, that you are in love with, and that might keep you from me forever, was Caius Ballad? Realy? What the hell is wrong with you!?"
Caius' face lost all expression again as he finally took in the other male. It didn't take much effort to figure out who he was. Before he could say anything at all, Laer leaned into the shorter male and stage whispered. "That is her scary face. I would recommend running now. Even if you are her brother."
Both siblings looked at him with frowns. He laughed at the similarity between them. "Goodness, that is eerie. I'm not sure I've ever seen two siblings look so much alike."
Both Bachmans spoke at the same time. "No, we don't!"
Laer started laughing in earnest at that point. Elle rolled her eyes at his typical response before she turned back to Caius and grabbed Kurt's attention. She gave her brother a hard look before she gestured to Caius. "Kurt, I would like you to meet Paddra Ballad-Caius. The man I love and hope to spend the rest of my life with."
Kurt had been glaring before, but at her introduction, both men stared at her with open shock. She then smiled up at Caius as she gestured to her brother. "Caius, this is my brother Kurt. Though I suspect you already figured that out."
Caius looked torn for a moment. A significant part of his brain was still hung up on the part where she said she wanted to spend her life with him. Still, he knew he could not ignore her brother. He reached out a hand to the smaller man. Kurt eyed it for a moment before he finally took it and shook. Though he was still frowning. "I guess if my sister wants you, then I have nothing to add. Just know that if anything happens to her, I will find a way to hurt you."
Caius smiled at his bravado. Even though he was only a little taller than Elle, he showed the same attitude. The Guardian wondered if he had just as much potential. If so, then their city could be considered blessed. He didn't get to ask, as Laer had interrupted with a laugh. "I had wondered if you were as capable as your sister. If so, I would be happy to have you along with my hunting group."
At that point, Kurt looked up and shook his head with wide eyes. "Uh, I may believe I can do what is necessary if the need calls for it, but if you think I can kick ass like her, you have the wrong Bachman. That's all her. I'm the lover. She's the fighter."
It was Caius' turn to chuckle as he wrapped an arm around Elle's shoulder. "I am not sure Paddra is quite ready for the Bachman clan."
Elle looked up at him and rolled her eyes before she pushed his arm off her shoulder. He gave her a worried look as she glared up at him with narrowed eyes. "I may have said yes, but let me remind you that I still think you were an idiot. If you ever think about doing anything that stupid again, you can bet that I will kick your ass from here to Haerii and back again."
Kurt gave her an incredulous look, that got even more confused when Caius saluted his sister. "You have my word, on my honor, that I will only treat you with the respect you deserve as both the Emissary to the Goddess Etro, as well as the accomplished warrior you are. If I spend the rest of my many days working to prove my dedication, I will not count it as time wasted."
Caius then shocked them all when he pulled on her hand and placed his arm around her waist as he looked down into her eyes. "I never said it, but so there is no doubt. I love you too."
Kurt threw his hands up in the air at that before he turned away. "That's it. I've heard it all now. Not only does my heartless sister find love finally, but with the most unlikely person in any dimension." He then looked up into the sky, as though it would have the answers. "How did this happen? What did I agree to get myself into?"
Elle shook her head at his dramatics but didn't bother stopping him as he ranted away. Instead, she placed her good arm around Caius' waist and felt her heart fill to bursting as they both watched as a smiling Yeul approached her sibling.
He stopped in mid-sentence when the Seeress put a hand on his arm. He stared at her with only slightly less awe than he had Caius. Though Elle could see the slight dusting of pink in his cheeks as the young woman smiled up at him. "Perhaps it would be best if we all retire to the inner courtyard. I would love to hear how you came to be here as well. Plus, we have much to catch up on with Edelweiss."
Kurt took a step back with wide eyes at the girl's use of his sister's full name. He turned to face her, fully expecting her to go off on Yeul. He was further shocked when he just saw her roll her eyes before she answered. "That sounds like a good idea, but I thought we had agreed not to use that abomination?"
Yeul grinned at her as she answered. "But it is lovely. Perhaps we can compromise?"
It was at that point that Elle realized the girl was teasing her. She chuckled despite herself and pulled on Caius' arm. "Let's go. I want to know how you woke up, plus we still have so much that needs to be figured out."
Caius allowed her to pull him to follow the Seeress. The smile he gave her was warm and held all the care that he had kept hidden from her. "Do not forget that we have time now. The future is ours to carve."
Elle looked up at him with a smile. He was right. The future was now wide open, and they had a lifetime to make it what they wanted it to be. She held no illusions that this would be an easy path for them all to walk, but she also knew these people, they were all strong enough to make the most of it, hard times and all. With that thought, she followed Yeul, Laer, and Kurt into the depths of the Seeress' compound with plans already filling her head, and Caius by her side.
A/N2: Ahhh! So this is the last chapter except for the epilogue I have planned. I don't know that I'll get it out tomorrow, but it will be this weekend. I hope you all have enjoyed this tale as much as I have. It was super exciting for me to write. So, thank you all for reading!