Zim pulled a blanket around his shoulders, looking up from the screen with a yawn. 3:45 pm… he shouldn't be this tired already. He'd recharged yesterday, for the Tallest's sake! And he'd already finished off the cake from the smeeting shower the other day, so the sugar should have given him enough energy. This was clearly a human problem, as no reasonable smeet would have drained him this much. It was her Dibbish-ness poking its oversized head up again.

She was getting big, almost uncomfortably so. He'd tried to pull his uniform on the other day to see if it even still fit, and even trying to tug it down it left open a thick strip of skin between his leggings and the bottom of it, which wouldn't do. He was definitely limited to Dib's clothes for the next month. Great. At least they'd all been run through the wash, but…. the Earth fabric was beginning to grow on him. Maybe he'd have to keep a few even after she was born. He deserved it after dealing with all of this.

He snuggled at the coat wrapped around his shoulder, the blanket tickling the nape of his neck. Why was the base so cold today? Even Dib's coat under the blanket wasn't enough to fix the chill that had settled into his bones. He pulled his knees up to his stomach, before groaning at the warm skin there- of course, she was stealing all of the heat from his body, sucking at him like a soda.

"Can't you take heat from the blankets and not me?"

She didn't respond at that- not even a kick. Typical. She might be as disobedient as Gir at this rate.

If she was going to be uncooperative, he might as well try and fix the energy problem. He slid off the chair and stretched, Dib's coat almost trailing along the floor. How had he nearly doubled in size in only seven years? Zim had witnessed it in real-time of course, but wearing clothes that were longer than his whole body really drove the point home. Dib had shot up like a weed, tall and strong and digging his roots into every part of Zim's life.

Still… Zim rolled up the sleeves and tugged at the hem as he headed over to the lift, feeling rather like he was wearing a cape. The scent of the coat, soaked in Dib's closet, was somehow better than Dib himself tended to be. Same smell, less human sweat and other general bodily fluids.

When the lift deposited him on the ground floor, Dib was nowhere to be seen. Where- oh, right he had gone to the store to get more food. Well, that was something good. As if it had just been reminded, Zim's stomach growled.

"I was merely going to have a snack. Didn't I just feed you an hour ago?" He stared down at the curve, the symbol of a little ghost with a red circle around it stretched over the smeet inside. Again, she made no reply. Zim pulled open the fridge before groaning- right, this was why Dib had gone shopping, there was nothing of any worth there.

There was half a jar of rotting pickles that Zim threw out immediately and a tiny bit of milk, but everything else was just empty containers probably left by Gir. How long ago had Dib passed by and said he was going out? It hadn't been long, Zim was pretty sure- and he'd said he was going to stock up on weapons for Santa defense 'In case the base's stuff freezes up, come on, you know it does.' (Just because Zim hadn't quite fixed that bug that happened under 0 degrees didn't mean that he wanted Dib to bring it up .) He could be gone for hours, and Zim was hungry now.

There was only one thing to do. Gir was who-knew-where, and a quick glance out the windows showed that at least it wasn't snowing. Dib's coat wasn't warm enough for the chill in his limbs, so he shrugged it off, tossed it into the nest currently piled up next to the tv, and rummaged around for the parka he'd sprung for three years prior. He heard Robomom's head roll on the closet floor as he pulled the parka on. It was dark red, which was nice after weeks of Dib's largely blue and black clothes.

Zim tried to zip it up, but he'd been considerably less smeet-filled when he'd gotten it, and it took four tries to finally pull it over his middle. It still had an awkward bulge, but at least it was closed now. He needed to get a new one...

He pulled on his wig and contacts, then grabbed a wad of money either Dib or Gir had dropped by the door. He could replace it when Dib returned.

A scarf had been stuffed into the pocket of the parka, and Zim wrapped it around his mouth before pulling the door open. It stunk of smoke and alcohol- Gir must have had it at some point, that was usually what he smelled like when he came back from those rave-thingies.

There was a convenience store that was about a five-minute walk from the base, but Zim underestimated just how few people shoveled their sidewalks- he had to resort to just walking in the streets after nearly faceplanting when he stepped on a roller skate. This was why he usually sent Gir and Minimoose on supply runs in winter.

"Zim?" A voice boiling over with enough cheer to explode a Slorbius called from behind him.

Oh, no.

Zim tried to shuffle along faster, but it was no use- every one of his former classmates had gained at least a foot on him, and this one was no exception, making it infuriatingly easy for a hand to grip his shoulder.

"Keef," Zim ground out like he could squash the person it belonged to between his teeth.

Keef grinned, bright braces sparkling from the reflection off the snow. He was in a bright blue jacket and snow pants. "Hey, I haven't seen you since graduation! You look good, buddy!"

"And you still have a mouth full of sharp wires." Zim stuffed his hands further into his pockets, glancing back. Keef wasn't as tall as Dib, but having to tilt his head back just soured Zim's mood even further than the oversaturated sickly feelings dealing with Keef normally incited. "Didn't you get buried in the stand collapse at the kicking ball game last June?"

"I managed to crawl out! Lucky, huh?" Keef reached into his own horrible mouth, tugging at the rubber bands and making one snap. "Heh, yeah, still have 'em, but I'm getting 'em out in a few weeks. My Grandma says it'll be worth it to have the best smile I can, and that's a pretty good thing to go for, huh?"

"Yes, yes. What do you want from me?"

"Just to catch- oh, wow, I didn't see you from the front before." Keef's stride had outstripped Zim's, and his eyes were now glued to Zim's middle. "Did you gain weight? It's kinda cute on you, all squishy-like! Does Dib like it? Are you two still together? I bet you are, you two were inseparable, I was so happy to see you finally admit it!"

Zim's eye twitched. "No, it isn't-"

"It isn't? Is it a tumor or something? That'd be the worst ." Keef scratched his head. "But if it was that big you probably wouldn't be walking around-"

"It's none of your business," Zim snapped, crossing his arms at the top of the curve. "It's for me and Dib, not-"

Keef lit up. "So you two are still together! Good, after that whole thing at Graduation with the heat ray, I wasn't sure! If you're good, then I'm good, you know that, right? I'm still open in case you ever-"

Zim kicked Keef in the shin. It probably would have been more effective if he hadn't been wearing snow pants. "Our opinions haven't changed, Keef ."

Keef didn't even seem to hear the venomous tone Zim spoke with. "Well, you know how to contact me if you do! Anyway, so what is this? You've never really changed in all the years I knew you, so it's pretty weird." He prodded at Zim's stomach, and Zim swatted his hand away.

"It's called personable space!"

"You mean personal space?"

"Yes, yes, that! Plenty of it!" Zim took a step back.

"Ooooh, is this one of your alien things?"

"No, this is not- I'm a normal human!"

Keef tilted his head. "I'm not gonna tell anyone- you know that I know, right? You admitted it waaaaaay back in elementary school. Plus those cool eyes you gave me are kind of X-ray, which are neat. Boy did they freak out the optometrist when I had to get a check-up, though." He was still grinning, why was he still grinning? "The fact that you've hung around this long means you have to like us, doesn't it? C'mon, I promise I won't tell anyone if you just tell me. It's not something that'll kill you, right?"

"No, it-"

"Is it eggs? I think that's a thing aliens do, right?" Keef tapped his chin. "Hmm, or maybe you're going to molt or something! I dunno, Dib was always better at this sort of thing. I never got as deep into your house as he did."

"Get out of my way, I need to get to the store." Zim tried to side-step Keef to the left, who moved in front of him with ease. A step to the right, the same. The uncomfortable lopsided heat regulation was starting to even out- now his torso and his limbs felt like a sauna.

If his Pak ports weren't starting to freeze he'd just shoot him. Plus they were in the middle of the street, but- details, details.

"I can walk you there! Which one are you going to?"

"Did I say the store? I meant the- the dump!"

Keef didn't falter. "Sure, that works too! I was just walking home anyway, my Grandma can wait."

Zim's eye twitched again as Keef leaned over him again. "Is it something you're keeping a secret? I'm good at keeping secrets."

Zim took a step to the side- just as the smeet gave the hardest kick he'd felt from her. His eyes went wide and both hands flew to the middle spooch, a groan slipping out of his mouth before he even registered it.

Keef's instantly followed. "Woah, you okay? Did you eat something bad? Is it-" He cut himself off mid-word as even through the parka he could feel faint movement. "Wait, is that-" His voice nearly tripled in pitch. "A baby? "

"Of course not! Don't be ridiculous!"

Somehow, his stupid grin got even wider . "Oh, no wonder you didn't want to say anything- it's going to be a surprise to everyone else, isn't it? It's Dib's, I bet- oh, you two would make the cutest kid!"

"If I never see any of our classmates again, it'll be too soon." Zim raised an eyebrow- one thing he enjoyed about the contacts was if he stared enough, most people would shrink away. Not Keef, apparently.

"Really? That's not a very nice thing to say. I guess they were never really that nice to you, though, but it's still a shame. Anyway, though, are you getting baby supplies?"

"No. I'm getting food." Sweat was starting to drip down his back.

"Well, food's important too! Geez, were you already pregnant at graduation? You look pretty big. You're kind of short though, so I guess it would look-"

"Will you quit it?" Zim snapped. "She's overheating me, and if I don't get something in the next ten seconds, I'm going to rip your lips off with my bare hands."

"Oh, wow." Keef took half a step back. "Do you want a suckmunkey or something? I'll pay."

"No. Those horrible things burn. Get me pixie sticks."

Keef gave a thumbs up. "Got it! Be right back. There's a bench over there, you sit down, okay?" He clasped his hands together. "And you said 'she', oh, a little girl! You can dress those up and dance with 'em and-"

Zim's stomach growled, and Keef shook his head to clear it. "Right, right, I'll go. Be right back!" He ran off, snow pants making shuffling noises as he did. Zim immediately started the other way. He wasn't about to stick around for-

The sweat was pooling in his leggings. Something was wrong with his Pak's thermal regulators. Groaning, he turned to flop on the bench, brushing it off halfheartedly. Luckily the snow was light enough that the parka kept it from burning when he sat down.

He was going to strangle Dib for letting the food get low enough that he had to even get into this. He was the one who had said he'd do anything to help, and now Zim had to talk to Keef even more. On top of that, Zim felt like an overheated burrito two seconds before it exploded in the microwave, spewing burrito guts all over the walls.

He tugged at the zipper, fanning himself with his hand. These Pak malfunctions were terrible- he'd pop it off and fix them if the cable in the lab hadn't been gnawed into oblivion by Gir after one particularly late night last week.

"Here you go!" Keef returned fast- or maybe Zim had fuzzed out for a few minutes. Either way, he snatched the flavored sugar, tearing the top off of two at once with his teeth.

Huh, they tasted… not that bad. Instead of spitting it out, he swallowed the paper before tipping the tubes up and letting the granules fall into his mouth. His stomach gurgled a little when he finished, and he drummed on it with a free hand. Something was still missing. After a moment's thought, he balled up the paper tubes and popped them into his mouth too, chewing before feeling the sticky, gooey mass travel down his throat.

Keef was sucking on his own little stick. "Is that a craving or something?"

Zim sucked some of the dropped sugar off the thumb of his glove, before realizing what he was doing and stuffing it into his parka's pocket. "Of course not."

"Really? I didn't know you liked paper. I had a cousin who liked eating paper, but I'm not supposed to talk about him since he-"

"I'm going home." He was still hungry, but at least his stomach had settled a little with the sugar, and he could already feel his Pak processing it.

"Can I come? Do you have a nursery yet?"

Zim's fingers dug into his palms, claws nearly piercing the material of his gloves. "Keef?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"How about you go get us some burgers?"

Keef beamed. "Sure! You like the veggie ones, right? Because you don't seem to eat a lot of meat, when I watched you during lunch."

"Yes, the veggie ones, perfect. I'll be waiting right here."

Keef ran off again, and Zim had to rummage around for an agonizing minute before his Pak finally responded and allowed him to pull out the laser gun. He aimed it at a tree, and grinned at the crash when it landed right where Keef had been.

It was enough of a distraction to get back to the base without Keef nipping at his heels, and when he saw Dib walking up to the door when he rounded the corner he even started whistling.