January 8

Rosemary walked with determined steps across the boardwalk toward Dottie's Apparel Shop. She had mentally prepared herself, well, the best one could do under the circumstances, for her first encounter with Dottie since yesterday's incident. Like it or not, they would have to figure out how to get along today, but that didn't mean she couldn't get the explanation she needed, did it? With it being the last workday of the week, if she could get through one more day, she would soon have a luxurious weekend, free from this uncomfortable conflict and from all the turbulent emotions swirling inside of her. At least she could hope. Oh sure, she'd entertained the idea of calling in sick or using a personal day, anything to keep a little distance from this friend who had caused her such bristling pain yesterday. But, here she was. Rosemary Coulter was never one to back away from a challenge, no matter how uncomfortable it could get. She would confront Dottie about their unusual altercation yesterday even if it made her squirm. In fact, what better time to do that than first thing? She straightened her crimson frock and opened the door, sending the bell to jangling. Dottie turned from where she stood on a stool reaching up to the highest shelf of goods behind the counter.

"Oh, good morning, Rosemary." Did she imagine that Dottie's cheeks colored the slightest bit? She bit her cheek.

"Good morning." She said the words softer than she first planned. She hadn't counted on Dottie being outright docile from the get go. Still she advanced right to the counter. She was not one to beat around the bush or try to pretend or hide things from others… well, almost all the time. Yes, her best bet was just to be out with it. She'd ask Dottie what on earth had gotten into her to treat a friend that way.

"I wasn't sure if I would see you today after, well, after yesterday's little discussion." Dottie's eyes seemed softer today, gone was the extreme iciness from yesterday, causing Rosemary's confronting words to die on her lips. She wasn't expecting Dottie to be so upfront, and even friendly, about yesterday's squabble. She felt all the fight deflate out of her. But perhaps it was for the better. What was Abigail always saying? Something about bees being attracted to honey? Well, perhaps sweet words could win a war. Dottie seemed to be demonstrating that this moment. She could surely play along.

"Well, I couldn't leave you to deal with the last of the weekday mending on your own, could I? What kind of friend would I be?"

"And that you are, Rosemary. A friend." Dottie's eyes shone with clear sincerity. "And as your friend, I must apologize for my attitude yesterday. How ironic. Just listen to me- just yesterday accepting Florence's apology for her insensitivity, and now it is my turn." She gave a shy half smile.

She stood shocked, why a little honey had worked wonders! But, still she felt the niggling sting from yesterday upon her heart.

"Go on." She said with a tilt of her chin. Okay, so that was a bit curt, but did her friend know how much turmoil she had caused by yesterday's comments? She lifted her uncompromising gaze into the clear blue eyes of her friend and waited.

"A friend should not push another dear friend away like that, no matter how difficult the situation she faces. Please accept my sincerest apology, Rosemary."

Satisfied with the answer, she moved closer, genuine concern rising in her chest.

"Are you facing a difficult situation, Dottie?"

Dottie cleared her throat. "Perhaps, but let's not discuss that now. I think I was already emotionally atwitter because Wednesday…well, it was my 16th wedding anniversary."

Rosemary gasped and held a hand up to her mouth. Oh, if she didn't feel like the scum of the earth right this minute.

"Oh Dottie! You should have mentioned it. We had no idea and here we were just gossiping away on such a difficult day for you."

She moved closer to her friend, this time her eyes conveying honest concern and repentance.

"Well, that's just it, I wasn't expecting it to be difficult. As we both know, Silas was less than honorable in many of his business dealings. He was always a fit husband and father, but because of his business indiscretions, it was always hard to trust the man, no matter how many years we had been married. The last two years on our anniversary, it hasn't affected me as much because well, honestly, I could hold onto my grudge against him. He wasn't an easy man to love at times. But this year, perhaps it is because enough time has passed, all I can remember are the good times. Did I ever tell you about our first anniversary?"

Rosemary shook her head and followed Dottie as she led them to the sewing table where they both took a seat and started to fold the linens scattered there.

"Our first anniversary we barely had two nickels to rub together. Oh, we were so young. This, of course, was before there was a cafe in town, so Silas, he arranged with the McCormicks for a romantic candlelit dinner for two out at their farm. Mrs. McCormick went through all the trouble to set up a private table for the two of us. Unfortunately, it was in the barn and the smell of cows was overpowering. But what I truly remember was looking over the table at the man I had married and feeling his love for me just pouring out of every fiber of his being. In fact, I am saddened to say it, but I believe his extreme love for me is what caused him to chase after dishonest gain."

"Oh you shouldn't blame yourself, Dottie. It was his choice." Did the poor dear honestly take responsibility for her husband's poor judgment?

"Yes, you are right, it was his choice. But he was so eager to provide, to prove to my parents that he was worthy, that I am afraid it led to business opportunities that were less than honorable."

Rosemary didn't quite know what to say so just sat quietly, listening. Sure, she had known that Silas was not a saint, but what else was Dottie dealing with?

Dottie's eyes held a faraway look as if she were lost in her memories. She laughed.

"I remember the next anniversary. I told Silas we were expecting sweet little Bradley. Even back then, I loved to sew, and had made a tiny little nightgown, wrapped it up and presented it to him at dinner. Oh, that man was over the moon." She smiled, but then turned serious. "I was so hopeful that perhaps a son to come home to would cause my husband to drop his gambling ways. But instead, it just spurred him onward. Now, not only did he need to prove himself to both my parents and myself, he also wanted to gain it all for his son. Silas was very young and ignorant and his actions proved it. But it wasn't all bad. We had some good times. There were little reprieves in the midst of many surmountable challenges. I'm thankful now that I couldn't see into the future; to see how all his actions ultimately led to his demise. It would have been too much to bear. I'll always remember when Silas was appointed Mayor of, at that time, Coal Valley, and how I thought that it would be his chance at a new life. A new start. Instead, his rise to leadership actually caused him to sink further and further into bad company and debt until… an old… friend of mine who had assisted Silas in the past, decided to break ties, further complicating matters and demanding his final payment and his job. It was finally time for Silas to come clean, get honest, and repay his debt. Well, as you know, his life ended before he could accomplish that. But it wasn't like he hadn't had chance after chance to take responsibility. It was just the way he lived. I could never spur him on toward a righteous life, and for that I will forever feel remorseful. " Dottie looked down at her hands, then braved a tiny smile. "Oh, just listen to me just dilly-dallying on…"

"And just imagine, all these years, I never knew much of your life, Dottie. I'm glad you told me some of this. It helps me better understand you."

"As you know, I am a very private person. It's not easy this… sharing of secrets."

Oh, she knew that a little too well. She shifted in her chair, uncomfortable.

Dottie smiled, put down her linens, and patted Rosemary on the hand. "Well, secrets or no secrets, we are friends, and nothing should keep us apart. I am sorry for pushing you away."

The urge to be honest swelled up within her chest, urging her to say a few words about the struggle she had with her own secret.

"Listen, Dottie…"

"Yes?" She could feel Dottie's eyes on her. She couldn't manage to bring her eyes up to meet hers.

Could she be brave enough to voice a bit of the real her? She licked her lips. The words were right on the edge of her tongue. Could she voice even just a whisper of her dilemma? This felt as if it could be her moment. But just as quickly, the moment passed, and instead, she walled off that raw part of herself and turned to Dottie.

"I'm sorry that you lost Silas, and that it has been a difficult week for you."

Dottie smiled and embraced Rosemary in a hug that felt much too kind. She felt a slight cracking of her defenses before she heaved the wall back over her heart. She was the type of person others could lean on. Never would she be known as needy or in want of a confidant. That would require her to be real, and that was much too scary. But in the mean time, she would give all her sincere devotion to helping her friend and her dilemma.